o,’ you say virtuously. ‘It wouldn’t be right to do that.’

At that moment the roof splits apart, the clouds open, the heavens roll back and you hear the strumming of harps. Suddenly you’re surrounded by angels. They lift you with no effort at all, and you find yourself rising rapidly through the air. You’re floating like fairy floss in an updraft and the sweet music is all around you.

But above the music comes a huge voice, rolling around the skies. It’s the biggest voice you’ve ever heard.

‘Welcome to Heaven,’ says the voice. ‘It’s time you came here. You were just too good for the mortal world.’