CHAPTER 9

A Splash of Gratitude With That Attitude, Please

1. To incarnate is to take something that exists only as an idea or a theory and give it concrete form. In naming his sons, Joseph engaged in an incarnational act. He literally put a face—two faces!—on his gratitude.

a. Recall a time you were overwhelmed with gratitude—to another human being or to God. How did you give concrete form to your gratitude? Consider your demeanor, your words, and your actions.

b. Why was it important to you to express your gratitude in these ways? What might have been missed—by you and others—if you hadn’t expressed your gratitude as you did?

c. How does this particular experience of gratitude help you understand Joseph’s act of gratitude in naming his two sons?

2. Naming in any form is a powerful act. Theologian Alexander Schmemann makes a connection between naming and gratitude:

To name a thing . . . is to bless God for it and in it. And in the Bible to bless God is not a “religious” . . . act, but the very way of life. God blessed the world, blessed man, blessed the seventh day (that is, time), and this means that He filled all that exists with His love and goodness . . . So [our] only natural . . . reaction . . . is to bless God in return, to thank Him, to see the world as God sees it and—in this act of gratitude and adoration—to know, name and possess the world.7

a. A way of life is a daily experience—a composite of our routine attitudes, behaviors, and practices. Drawing on the experience of gratitude you identified in question 1, how would you describe what it means to make gratitude—blessing God—a way of life? What routine attitudes, behaviors, and practices would it require?

b. Gratitude requires seeing the world as God sees it. What do the names Joseph gave his sons (pp. 92–93) reveal about how he saw the world?

3. We can’t name—express gratitude—until we notice. The practice of being thankful requires cultivating a posture of attentiveness that spotlights even the smallest graces.

a. Take a moment to get “small” in naming your gratitude. Write down two or three simple things you can thank God for—from the last twenty-four hours, the last hour, and this very moment.

b. How would you characterize your posture of attentiveness in your current season of life? In other words, to what degree do you routinely notice and name God’s graces and gifts?

4. Max identified four potential reasons for failing to express gratitude. Place a check mark next to the reason(s) that come closest to describing your experience.

❑ Busyness: No time! I am so preoccupied with everything I have to do that I don’t remember to express gratitude most of the time.

❑ Caution: Wait a second. This looks like a good thing, but I don’t want to get my hopes up. It might be too good to be true. I’ll keep my gratitude to myself until I know for sure.

❑ Self-centeredness: Okay, this is a good thing, and I’m grateful for it on one hand. But it requires something of me that I hadn’t anticipated, so I have mixed feelings about it.

❑ Arrogance: Well, things weren’t so bad before. And isn’t all that sloppy gratitude just a sign of neediness? I’m not needy.

❑ Other:

Does this reason primarily characterize your expression of gratitude in your relationship with God, in your relationships with others, or in both?

What differences, if any, do you notice in your ability to express gratitude to God and to others? Do you express gratitude more frequently to one than the other? Are you more concrete in your gratitude to one than the other? More authentic? Describe the reasons for your response.

5. “In the midst of the darkest night of the human soul, Jesus found a way to give thanks. Anyone can thank God for the light. Jesus teaches us to thank God for the night” (p. 98). For what difficult aspect of your life do you sense God inviting you to express gratitude? Consider making your gratitude concrete, perhaps by writing it down, sharing it with someone, or marking it in another way. If you are not ready to express gratitude, express your concerns or reluctance to God instead. Ask for grace to take the next step.