As she sat on the edge of the hotel bed, one thought was clear in Katherine’s mind. Her feet ached. And their day hadn’t even started yet.
For fourteen days, they’d traveled to more states than she could remember and traipsed around looking at anything and everything Grandmother wanted to see. Libraries, cemeteries, interesting-looking buildings . . . the list went on and on.
The beginning of the trip had been lovely, with a visit to Niagara Falls before they left the state of New York. The roar of the falls and the spray of the water on her skin had been invigorating. But as the trip progressed, she had no idea Grandmother would be so adventurous. They took their time and rested often, but still it seemed a great deal of strain for a woman her grandmother’s age. However, when Katherine suggested they slow down—perhaps omit a few side trips—Grandmother would hear nothing of it.
They’d been to Philadelphia and Independence Hall, then to Washington, DC—where they must have walked five miles to all the historical and significant buildings. Grandmother had even asked to see the President!
Katherine shook her head. When she’d agreed to go to Alaska, she thought they would simply be going to Alaska. Clearly they were taking the long way. Would they even make it this summer, or would Grandmother have them off to see the pyramids in Mexico? If she did, no doubt they’d have to climb them.
The thought made her chuckle, much to her own surprise.
“Well, my goodness. Listen to that.” Grandmother stood at the door between their hotel rooms. “Didn’t I tell you this trip would do you good? Now what has so amused you?”
“To be honest, I was wondering if we would ever make it to Alaska for the summer.”
Grandmother shook a finger at her as her grin widened. “Now you just hush. We’re having fun, aren’t we?”
“Of course we are. I just wish I could say the same for my feet.” For dramatic effect, she rubbed the bottoms of her feet.
“You can just tell your feet that they better be up for the challenge today, because I have something special planned.”
Oh dear.
“You need your most comfortable and sturdy shoes.”
Katherine stood and placed her hands on her hips. “Excuse me, but wait just a minute. Before I even put on my most comfortable and sturdy shoes, you need to tell me where we are headed.” She smiled at her grandmother. Her heart was in the right place, but if Katherine was going to be along for this adventure, she needed to lay down some ground rules. “While this has been quite entertaining, I think it’s time we came to an agreement. No more surprises every day. I need to know how to dress and prepare for the coming ‘fun’ you have planned.”
Grandmother raised an eyebrow and smiled. “And you’ll be fine with whatever I choose as long as I tell you each morning?”
Katherine fought the urge to roll her eyes and sighed. “As long as we make it in time to catch our ship out of San Francisco, yes, I’m fine with that. Like you said, it’s an adventure.”
“It is. And it wouldn’t hurt you to try and show a bit more enthusiasm.”
“I’m trying, Grandmother. I am.”
“I know, dear.” The older woman’s aged and wrinkled hand gripped her shoulder.
Their discussion couldn’t be allowed to go down any serious route. Katherine’s heart wasn’t up for it. Even though every day her grandmother tried. “So what are we up to today?” She took a deep breath and put on a smile.
“Mammoth Cave.”
Although she would have never chosen to visit a cave, Katherine was so glad they’d come. Their tour guide was full of knowledge and patient with all their questions. The glow of the stalactites and stalagmites in the lantern light was glorious.
Before this morning, she’d had no idea that Mammoth Cave existed. Nor did she know that it was the longest cave system in the world. But now after traveling from “room” to “room” and seeing all the hidden beauty for herself, Katherine was mesmerized. The underground rivers and rock formations were always changing as they explored deeper into the cave. Grandmother had informed her that they were taking the Long Route, which would include a meal, but would take fourteen hours. At the time, she’d been stupefied they would attempt such a thing, but now, she was ever so thankful.
The massive Rotunda Room had been her favorite. Sitting on a rock for a moment, she could imagine instead that she was inside a beautiful opera house and her whispers could be heard across the whole area as several other tourists experimented with her on the travel of sound.
When they’d reached the Bottomless Pit, Grandmother reminded the tour guide that the Bible said Satan himself would be thrown into a bottomless pit. Several of the tourists laughed, while a few others bravely leaned over to look into the mouth of the hole. Katherine shivered with the thought of falling and falling and falling.
“Are you enjoying this, dear?” Grandmother’s voice broke through her dark thoughts.
“Oh yes. Very much!” For the first time in a long time, she didn’t have to fake the emotion. And it felt really good. “When you mentioned coming to a cave, I thought it would be very small, and I hate small spaces.”
“This way, please.” The tour guide’s voice echoed through the tunnel.
While every other lady had a lantern, Katherine insisted they only needed one between the two of them, so she could carry it and Grandmother could use her cane. But the older woman always seemed to take it from her.
“I guess that means we better continue on our way.” Grandmother dusted off her skirt and once again captured the lantern.
Katherine shook her head. She didn’t mind following behind and bringing up the rear of their little party. It kept her from having to converse with strangers and gave her time to take in all the breathtaking sights. Grandmother had given her lots of space today, and for that she was thankful. It was refreshing to fully enjoy something again. It had been almost five years since the last time. . . .
Memories of a dark-haired young man with beautiful green eyes filled her mind. Oh, how she had loved him. He’d shown her so many wonderful places in France and always made her feel like a princess. If only she could go back to those days. Before all the ugliness. Before the monster had been unleashed.
Randall had known she didn’t love him. He even knew she loved another, but it didn’t matter. In fact, he seemed to very much enjoy knowing he had played a part in separating true love. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, trying to will the memories from her mind.
Straightening her shoulders and opening her eyes, Katherine realized she’d stopped walking. Why did all thoughts of Randall turn her into stone? He was gone. For good. But the damage had been done. Grandmother assured her that she could heal and come back from it. But how?
How could she ever move past the violence and the constant barrage of hateful words? He’d drilled ugliness into her every single day for three years.
She’d been relieved when he died. As horrid as that seemed, it was true.
But joy and happiness eluded her. She couldn’t find her way back.
Because he haunted her. Haunted her thoughts. Every time she looked in the mirror, she heard his voice. Every time she tried to move past the ugliness, she remembered his words. And she often woke in the middle of the night feeling one of his blows against her back or legs.
Yes, she’d been relieved when he died. But a new torture had only begun.
The silence around her brought her out of her memories. Looking up, all she could see was black.
She wanted to move but couldn’t remember what was around her. How many steps had they taken since the Bottomless Pit? Was she still close? Was the path smooth or did it drop off? She couldn’t remember. Her thoughts had taken over and she’d pushed the real world aside.
Now there was nothing but darkness closing in. Her eyes couldn’t even adjust. There wasn’t a bit of light anywhere. And now she couldn’t take a full breath. It was like the time Randall locked her in the closet. She’d never known a fear of small places until that moment when the blackness seemed to snuff out all the air.
Her heart plummeted and she decided to sit on the path where she stood so she wouldn’t collapse and fall to her demise. How long before Grandmother noticed she wasn’t behind her?
The thought made her heart race. If the path ahead was strenuous, Grandmother would be focused on that. Not the fact that Katherine wasn’t behind her.
Randall’s voice began to ping around in her brain. Every insult, belittling comment, and tormenting bellow competed for an audience.
“No. Stop! No.” Katherine threw her hands over her ears. She closed her eyes against the dark that pressed her further and further into the damp limestone floor. It seemed to squeeze the very life out of her, making it harder and harder to breathe. Suffocating her.
Would this be the end? Would she die here in the dark being tormented by the words of a dead man who vowed to love and cherish her?
Why God? Why? Grandmother says that You love me—but how can You? How could You let me experience a taste of love and then snatch it away? How could You allow my father to arrange a marriage to Randall? How could You watch the torture and just let me live through it?
Why am I even here? I’m worthless! Not good for anything.
Katherine dropped her hands from her ears and pulled her knees up under her chin. Let the darkness take her. Her breaths were coming in short gasps now. She had nothing to live for anyway. . . .
A faint sound—like humming—echoed through the silence. It came closer. Katherine knew that voice. Knew the song too. It had been the only thing to get rid of her bad dreams when she was a child.
As Grandmother’s voice washed over her, tears ran down her face.
“Jesus loves me this I know . . . for the Bible tells me so . . . Little ones to Him belong . . . they are weak but He is strong.”
Katherine opened her eyes and saw a small circle of light pierce through the blackness and come toward her. “Grandmother.” The name left her lips on a whisper as the echo of footsteps filled the space around her. Sobs shook her body.
“Yes, Jesus loves me. Yes, Jesus loves me.” The song continued on as the light came closer.
“Katherine, I’m here. I heard your cries. But more importantly, God heard them. Before I ever could. He prodded me to turn around.”
“Why does God hate me?” The crushing of the darkness from before pressed in again. Harder. Stronger.
“Oh, my dear. He doesn’t hate you. He loves you so much.”
“No—how could He leave me like that?” Katherine cried. “He left me here with this darkness. It’s pushing and pressing all around me.”
The footsteps stopped. “In the name of Jesus Christ who is above every name”—Grandmother’s voice was stronger than Katherine had ever heard it—“I say to you, darkness, to flee.”
The vise she’d felt around her chest fell away. Katherine took a deep breath and inhaled Grandmother’s familiar peppermint scent.
“‘For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’ That’s from Romans chapter eight.” Grandmother nodded and brought the light close to Katherine’s face.
The lantern lit up the entire area around them in a beautiful golden glow. The pressure around Katherine was gone. She could fill her lungs again. “How . . . ? What did you do?”
“I believe that the enemy is strong, my dear. But our God is stronger. He is the light. And no matter what hold the enemy has had on you through Randall Demarchis’s evil actions or words, we need to give it all to the Savior, who is defeating the enemy as we speak. The name of Jesus is powerful. For He is the King of kings and Lord of lords.”
Katherine put a hand to her chest. “It really is gone. I can breathe.” The shock overwhelmed her a bit. She’d never seen or heard her grandmother do anything like that before. But she’d also never felt as dark or oppressed either.
“Do not doubt God, my child. And do not doubt His love for you, even though wicked men may tell you otherwise.” She tugged on Katherine’s hands. “Let’s get moving, we need to catch up with the tour and then later, when we are out in the beautiful sunlight once again, we’re going to have a long chat.”