25
Katherine stood on tiptoe and kissed Jean-Michel on the cheek. “Have a wonderful time.”
Surprise lit his face. “Thank you. I will. I’d like to make a request.”
“Go ahead.”
“Would you pray for . . . us . . . you and me this week? Maybe write some notes down about your hopes and dreams for the future? The Lord has blessed us with this fresh start, and I want to do it right. And together.”
She felt her face flush. “I’d love to. Thank you for asking.”
He tipped his hat to her. “I’ll see you in a week.”
Standing on tiptoe once more, she reached up to kiss him again, but he was ready this time and caught it with his lips.
The brief contact sent tingles down her spine. Which was a good sign. She hoped her affectionate gesture hadn’t been too forward, but the past few days she’d really worked at touching and hugging. It had been Grandmother’s suggestion, and the older woman had been right. She’d only remembered what it was like to be touched by one person. He hadn’t been nice or gentle, but that was all in the past. She needed to trust people around her to love her and be affectionate accordingly. Not everyone had intentions like Randall.
What she’d hoped would come easily to her, since she’d been an affectionate child, was more like having to learn how to walk all over again. She’d jerked a few times when someone touched her, was stiff when she hugged, and even tripped over her own feet at one point. This was harder than she’d thought. But Grandmother encouraged her to keep going. The only thing that kept her working on it was the fact that she loved Jean-Michel.
As long as she was wise in choosing the people she surrounded herself with, she knew she had trust and love. It had taken three years for her to become the old beaten-down Katherine; it might take another three to come out of it. But she was determined to try.
As the group crossed the river by boat with all their gear, Katherine waved. There were horses and more hands to help on the other side and they would start their great adventure.
Last night, she’d prayed with Jean-Michel. It was the first time they had prayed together, and it had set her heart on fire. To think that they could possibly soon start a life together, and they were beginning their new relationships with God as the center. Grandmother said there was no better place to start.
This morning, Katherine had prayed that Jean-Michel would continue to have healing in his heart. The scars would always remain, but she could already see a difference in his eyes since he’d given his life to the Lord. Prayerfully, the nightmares would be minimal on this trip.
And, hopefully, Collette would stay out of trouble.
Katherine wasn’t sure what had gotten into the girl, but she’d been quite testy of late. They’d seen such great progress after she’d rescued little Davey, and now it seemed she was floundering again.
But the world was changing and the poor girl didn’t know where she fit. Katherine understood that. After all, Collette had been pampered and spoiled and kept from the harshness of the world around her. Without her father in her life, the future would be very different for beautiful Collette. Jean-Michel would do his best for her, but he couldn’t keep her from reality. And he’d shared with Katherine that he hoped Collette would marry soon and begin a life of her own. Katherine had asked for only one thing—that he not arrange a marriage for his sister. “Let her marry for love,” Katherine begged. Jean-Michel had agreed.
The boat reached the other side of the river and Katherine turned back to the hotel. A visit with Cassidy was in order. The poor dear looked miserable in these last days, but the doctor thought she still had a month or so.
At least while Allan was gone, Katherine could keep the young mother-to-be company.
Passing through the dining room, she hoped to bring a tray from Mrs. Johnson up to her friend.
A conversation brought her up short.
“Amelia, I don’t know what to say to you anymore. It’s your own fault you’re sick. God is punishing you for your sin and you know it. Sickness and hardship are always punishment.” The tones that were hushed echoed across the almost empty room. The lady threw her napkin down on the table and stood. “I’ve had enough. I’m going home. Stay if you like, but I won’t take care of you anymore.”
Katherine dared a look to the table in the corner of the room as she kept walking. Two ladies, almost identical in looks, wore two opposite expressions. The one sitting looked defeated and pale, while the other stood red-faced, chin lifted and defiant.
Diverting her eyes, she couldn’t get through the dining room fast enough. Soft sobs reached her as she pushed on the door to the main kitchen.
“Why, Mrs. Demarchis! Whatever are you doing in the kitchen?” Mrs. Johnson looked stunned.
Katherine put a hand to her stomach and took a deep breath. “I would like to bring a tray to Mrs. Brennan, since I’m headed up to visit with her. I thought I could spare you the trouble.”
“How very kind of you.” The woman’s brows lowered. “Is something bothering you?”
“I’m not sure, but could you have the hotel manager check on the lady in the dining room, please? She’s crying.”
“Yes, ma’am. Of course.” Mrs. Johnson sent one of the kitchen boys to fetch Mr. Bradley. “Let me get that tray together for you.”
Katherine took her time walking to Cassidy’s room. The tray was heavy, but she could handle it. It was more the weight of the words she’d overheard that kept her steps slow.
“It’s your own fault you’re sick. God is punishing you for your sin and you know it.”
God didn’t work that way . . . did He?
She knew that there were consequences for her sin, but it seemed awfully harsh for someone to say that.
While she hadn’t gotten a really good look at the woman, she’d seen that the one called Amelia was indeed very thin and pale. The look of defeat in her eyes was one Katherine had seen in her own reflection many a time.
A horrible thought crept in. What if she didn’t deserve love? What if her own sin had caused all the horrific events of the past to unfold? What if Randall was right and she couldn’t have children? A greater punishment, Katherine couldn’t even imagine. Could she have some other sin in her life that God would punish her for?
The thoughts made her stagger and caused the old fear to come back.
No. Fear wasn’t of the Lord. Grandmother kept telling her that, and she believed it. Katherine reminded herself of what happened in the cave. If she needed to put her foot down, she would. She couldn’t help but wonder, however, about the exchange between the two women. Did God punish people for their sin? Even sin they’d repented of? What if they did something and didn’t realize it was a sin?
When she made it to Cassidy’s room, the decision was made. She’d just have to talk about it again.
Knocking on the door, Katherine inhaled deeply through her nose.
“Come in.”
Katherine walked in and set the tray down. Before she lost her nerve she decided to just blurt it out. “Do you think God is punishing me for past sin and that’s why Randall . . . why he . . . abused me?”
Her dark-haired friend raised her hand to her forehead. “Hold on just a minute. What makes you think that Randall beating you would be punishment for your sin?” Cassidy shook her head. “Katherine, God loves us—He loves you. Randall did what he did because he was evil. He was sin-filled.”
The chair behind her thunked as she plopped into it and started crying. “But there were these two women—I think they were twins or very close in age sisters. They were in the dining room and one of them told the other that she wouldn’t take care of her anymore because she was sick due to her own sin.” All the words fell out in a jumbled, rambling mess.
“What?” Cassidy leaned forward a bit. “Start again. What did the sister say?”
“She said, ‘Amelia, I don’t know what to say to you anymore. It’s your own fault you’re sick. God is punishing you for your sin and you know it.’”
“That’s terrible! How could someone say such a thing?”
Katherine shook her head. “I don’t know, but it made me wonder if it were true. I’m new at this and I don’t know Scripture like you do. Oh, Cassidy, what if it’s true and I can’t have children and it’s all because of my sin?” The thought made tears spring to her eyes.
Her friend reached out and pointed a finger in her face. “Now, Katherine Harrison Demarchis, you stop that thinking right now. It’s wrong. Yes, we are sinners. Yes, there are earthly consequences for our sin. But no, God isn’t up there on His throne waiting for you to sin so He can pour out his wrath and punishment on you. That is not how God works.” She motioned toward the desk. “Would you bring me my Bible? Allan put it over there this morning when he left.”
Katherine wiped her cheeks. She went to the desk in the corner and found the familiar book. Cassidy had it by her every day, and they’d begun discussing different passages together.
“I think it’s the perfect time for us to pick up the book of Job. There was a righteous man who was very blessed—with wealth and with family, and he praised God and gave Him all the glory. Satan went to God and told God that Job surely wouldn’t continue to praise Him if Satan were allowed to take away those things. So over a short period of time, Job lost everything. Even all his children. His wife even turned against him and said, ‘curse God and die.’”
Katherine gasped. “That’s terrible.”
“It was. Then even his health was taken as his whole body was covered in sores. But that’s just the very beginning of the book.” Cassidy flipped through page after page. “You see the rest of this? Job had three friends who thought of themselves as righteous, and they came. They sat with him in silence in his misery and mourning.”
“Sounds like good friends.”
“Sounds that way. But wait—after a week they begin to speak. Chapter after chapter of speeches and Job’s responses. My favorite one is where one friend tells Job that he must be suffering because of some sin in his life. So he should examine his life carefully and see what he did wrong and make it right.”
Heat filled Katherine’s face. “Just like the lady said this morning.”
Cassidy nodded. “But at the end of Job, we hear God’s response and we see that Job had stood righteous. Even though horrible things happened to him, he stood firm in his faith in God. Job proved Satan wrong. And then God spoke to the friends and said, ‘My wrath is kindled against thee, and against thy two friends: for ye have not spoken of me the thing that is right, as my servant Job hath.’ After that, God blessed Job even more abundantly than before.
“Bad things are going to happen, my friend. Because yes, we all are sinners and we live in a sin-filled world. But—” She flipped to the back of the book. “If we look in Philippians, chapter one, we read, ‘And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; that ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ. Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God. But I would ye should understand, brethren, that the things which happened unto me have fallen out rather unto the furtherance of the gospel . . .’”
“I don’t understand . . .” Reading Scripture could be so difficult in the old English language, Katherine felt like she was back in school trying to figure it all out.
“He’s saying—and this is Paul here, writing from prison, mind you—that even though bad things have happened to him . . . like being thrown in prison . . . he knows that it is for the furtherance of the gospel.”
“He was thrown in prison for his belief?”
“Yes, and for preaching the gospel.” Cassidy reached a hand out to Katherine.
She took it in hers . . . what a lovely thing friendship was.
“Katherine, listen to me and take a moment to really think about this. Do you see how God has taken the ugliness of your past and how He is making it good now?”
“What do you mean?”
“You and Jean-Michel. Neither one of you knew the Lord a few years ago. Without a relationship with Him you were both condemned to eternal separation from God. But even though God didn’t cause those horrible circumstances to happen, He has used them now to bring you both to Him and to each other again.”
The sun was high overhead by the time they stopped for lunch. Jean-Michel dismounted his horse and found his leg wasn’t nearly as stiff as he’d anticipated. But it would be so good to walk around for a few minutes.
He spotted Collette and headed straight for her. She had been an issue this morning. Three times, John, Allan, or Thomas all had to steer her back on the right path. Why she couldn’t just follow along, Jean-Michel didn’t know. Her spirit wasn’t rebellious or mean . . . just . . . frivolous. Thoughtless.
Now that they were off the horses, he could stick closer to her side and prayerfully find out what was going on with her.
Their picnic of sandwiches and homemade pickles from the Curry kitchen was phenomenal. Why did everything taste so much better out in the fresh air? Even the simple fare seemed refined. As the meal concluded, some of the others milled about the immediate area, leaving Jean-Michel and his sister alone.
“I do wish you wouldn’t cause us such worry by wandering off. Try to think of how that makes extra work for the guides.”
“I wasn’t purposely wandering off. I get distracted and forget where I am.”
“Well, as Allan told you the last time, you can’t afford to forget. This is a dangerous place, even if it is beautiful.”
“I’m not a child, Jean-Michel. I assure you that I can take care of myself. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Collette stood.
“Where are you going?”
“Where everyone must go from time to time. Alone.”
He understood her meaning. “Just don’t go far and keep your eyes open.” He’d tried before they left to convince her that it wouldn’t be easy to take care of delicate matters. But Collette insisted she could do it if he could. He sighed. If they made it back without mishap it would be a miracle.
Thomas walked over to him. “How’s the leg, Mr. Langelier?”
“It’s actually doing pretty well. Thank you for asking.”
“I noticed the exercises really seem to be helping. You’re almost too strong for me to do much good anymore.” The young man laughed. “Can I get you anything?”
“Non. I believe I am fine. How is the rest of our group holding up?” Jean-Michel got to his feet.
“Oh, the women are already complaining about not stopping enough, and the men are complaining that the saddles aren’t comfortable enough. It’s normal—we have to deal with the same things every trip.”
“Well, I think you are doing an incredible job. Magnifique!” He patted Thomas’s shoulder.
“If we could get that much encouragement from everyone else, it would be a magnifique trip.”
Jean-Michel laughed at Thomas trying to speak French. The way he tried to form his lips to mimic him was quite hysterical.
“Oh, it looks like John is rounding us all up.” Thomas stood. “I guess we better get ready to head out. Hey, where’s your sister?”
Oh no. Which direction had she gone? Jean-Michel shook his head. “I’m not sure. She needed to . . . well . . . relieve herself, but she should have been back by now.”
“I’ll help you find her.” Thomas ran over to John and said something to him. Probably about how the silly French girl had gone off by herself and gotten lost.
The rest of the tourists might complain if he couldn’t find her quickly. “Fille naïve.” Foolish girl.
Thomas and John went north and south respectively, and Jean-Michel headed to the west. Her name echoed over the hills and valley as they all called out her name.
Jean-Michel cringed when he heard one of the ladies talk about having to wait.
As he crested the first small hill to the west, he spotted Collette’s blond head and there she was, strolling back to where they’d picnicked.
With a black bear cub following her like a puppy.