Chapter Thirty
My phone sits on the nightstand, lit up with a text. There’s no name, just a number, but I know who it is.
I already used work as an excuse. I suppose it’ll suffice one more time. Next week it’ll be something else. I’ll keep using excuses until he stops texting. Because I can’t be in the same room as Ryan and act like there was never anything between us. It hurts too much.
Edward arrives with a pizza box and a bottle of Perrier, and we settle in at the kitchen table. When he called earlier today to suggest we meet for dinner, I almost said no—not because I didn’t want to see him but because it’s been such an emotional week, and exhaustion has set in. But when he offered to drive down here again, I couldn’t say no.
“You have a nice place,” he says, looking around.
“Thanks.”
As we eat our pizza, his leg bounces up and down, and I wonder what he’s nervous about.
“Are you okay? You seem jumpy.”
“I heard you left Janks and Lowe. Is that right?”
“Yeah. I—”
“Why?”
“It seems absurd, doesn’t it? Thomas and Steven are great.”
His eyes widen. “Are you working with your mom now?”
“No.” Setting my napkin in my lap, I tell him about the showdown with Kenneth, Valentina and Barbara, and my new position.
He frowns, touching a napkin to his mouth. “I’m just playing devil’s advocate here, but do you think it’s a smart move when you don’t currently practice family law?”
“I’ll learn. It’s not like there wasn’t a huge learning curve at Janks and Lowe. It’s expected.”
“It just seems like an unnecessary risk. You could’ve stayed at Janks and Lowe and gotten some experience. They’re heavy hitters, Katie. Do you have any idea how good it looks to have them on your résumé, not to mention the money? I’m talking serious coin. I don’t mean to dash your hopes, but I owe it to you to be the voice of reason.” He gives me an ardent look. “I’m here for you. I like that we can bounce ideas off each other.”
Bounce off or shoot down? I don’t say it, but the thought is there. “Thanks for your honesty.”
“Can I be honest about something else?”
There’s a slight change in the tone of his voice that grabs my attention. “Sure.”
“I want you to be my girlfriend.”
Whoa. That’s so not what I expected. Before I can come up with a response, his lips are on mine. He darts his tongue into my mouth, and I take hold of his arms, moving my head. “You didn’t let me respond.” My voice is quiet, but I know he heard me.
A stricken look crosses his face. “I’m sorry. I thought you were feeling it, too.”
A sigh escapes, and I press my hands together. “Uh, I’m not sure what I’m feeling at the moment.” The hurt is clear in his eyes, and he looks away. “I like you. I know that.” I place a hand on his arm. “But I’m not ready to be in a relationship. Everything that’s happened with work… I’m just trying to wrap my head around all the changes. Does that make sense?”
He moves his gaze back to mine. “So where does that leave us? You like me, but you don’t want to be with me?”
My jaw tightens. Didn’t he hear me? I’m doing my best to deal with all the changes. I’m trying to pay attention to my feelings, and rushing into something feels wrong. “It means I enjoy spending time with you, and I’d like to get to know you better, but I can’t make any promises to you right now.”
“So you’ll hang out with me until someone better comes along? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“Is it so wrong to give this—whatever this is—some time to develop?”
He sighs. “I’m sorry. Maybe I’m being a jerk about all this. I honestly thought you were feeling all the things I am.”
I don’t want to ask what he’s feeling, because I don’t want to know. It’s too much, too soon. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe we should call it a night and talk later.”
“I wish I would’ve stayed home.”
His words hit me like a slap. He’s the one who insisted on coming out here. Maybe he’s single because he acts like a baby when he doesn’t get his way. “I’ll walk you out.”
He grabs his jacket from the sofa. “I didn’t envision our night going like this.”
“I didn’t, either.”
“Should I call you again? Or is this the end?”
My insides squeeze. I don’t know what I want. I liked the Edward who was at the Omni. But this version of him makes me feel like I can’t breathe. “I don’t know.”
He flashes me a hurt look. “Then I guess I have my answer.”