Sam puts the car park ticket on the dashboard, slams the car door and locks it and then glances round as someone calls his name. He sees a woman waving at him, smiling, and he recognizes her as Amy’s friend Charley. She locks her own car door and then comes towards him.
‘Hi,’ she says. ‘So we meet again. What are you doing in Totnes?’
‘I live near Staverton,’ he answers. ‘I was only staying in Salcombe.’
‘Oh, yes. I remember now. With Max. Your godfather?’
‘That’s it,’ he says, smiling at her. There’s something attractive in her slightly boho appearance: a long swirling skirt with boots, and a shaggy, woolly kind of jacket. ‘His wife’s back from Oxford so I’m at home again. I’ve been detailed off to do some shopping.’
‘Time for coffee first?’ she suggests. ‘I’ve come in for work a bit early and they do a very tasty brunch in the Terrace Coffee Shop.’
‘Sounds good to me,’ Sam answers, slightly surprised but very happy to go along with it. ‘I thought you said you were a teacher. An art teacher.’
‘Part time,’ she says, as they cross the car park together. ‘I also work in the Potting Shed.’
She gestures to it as they walk past, between racks with pots and plants for sale. Sam tries to remember what else he’d learned about her as he follows her up the steps and says ‘Good morning’ to Rob and Andy. Fliss often comes in here for coffee when she’s been shopping so he knows them well. He likes this café, built on the ruins of the old priory, with its massive stone fireplace, and set high above the pavement. They settle at a table by the window and order breakfast for Charley and coffee for them both.
‘So,’ says Charley, shrugging off her jacket, ‘have you come to any decision yet?’
He stares at her in surprise. ‘Decision?’
She smiles at him. ‘I had the feeling, back there in Salcombe, that you weren’t one hundred per cent sold on this navy lark. You seemed much more fired up about your experience teaching Chinese kids to speak English. Or have I got that wrong?’
Sam is so taken aback that he can’t answer. Nobody else has questioned his decision to go to Dartmouth, not even Fliss and Hal. Yet here is this woman, whom he met for such a short time, getting under his guard and guessing his secrets. He looks away from her, out of the window, but she doesn’t back off or change the subject.
‘The thing is,’ she says, thoughtfully, ‘I felt, when you talked about it that lunchtime, that here was someone with a vocation. Like the ministry, or medicine. Teaching is so crucial, isn’t it? And you’ve either got it or you haven’t.’
He looks at her again. She stares back at him with her clear brown eyes.
‘But how do I know?’ he asks at last. ‘How can I really tell that it’s what I should be doing? I mean, I was there just for a year. It was different. Exciting. Those kids were so keen to be learning, growing. How can I be certain that it wasn’t just a one-off thing? Is it enough to take a risk on and give up the prospect of a career in the navy?’
Charley sits back in her chair as Andy brings the coffee. Sam thanks him, glad of the interruption. In a way it’s a relief that it should be brought out into the open. Once or twice with Cara he’s nearly talked about it but because she’s Max’s sister he’s felt it a bit unfair. He has a feeling that Max, with his naval past, would be disappointed if his godson were to pass up this opportunity. It’s good to be able to discuss it with this unusual woman who has no axe to grind and hardly knows him.
‘I’ve thought about it,’ he admits, stirring sugar into his coffee. ‘But I just can’t make up my mind.’
‘When do you start your naval training?’ she asks.
As she sips her coffee, holding the cup in both hands, her elbows propped on the table, Sam is aware of her personality. Her brown eyes seem to look into him, challenging him, willing him to take the chance, yet there is something else that makes him hesitate to accept that challenge.
‘In January,’ he answers. ‘A couple of months yet. It’s a tricky one, though, isn’t it? To be able to tell the substance from the shadow?’
Just for a moment her expression changes. She looks startled, as if he has wrong-footed her: as if the boot is on the other foot and he is challenging her, questioning her own life choices.
‘How do you mean?’ she asks almost defensively.
He shrugs. ‘I just think that it might be easy to be distracted by what could be something that’s almost like an ego trip,’ he says. ‘It was a terrific experience but it was in an unusual setting, in unusual conditions. Would it be sustainable for me? It’s terribly tempting but I need to know which is reality, for me. How is it possible to be sure of that?’
He finishes speaking, watching her, trying to remember what she’d told him about herself. He remembered about the teaching, that she met Amy at Falmouth Uni on some kind of course, but what else? He senses that by turning the challenge, he has in some way hit a nerve and she looks relieved to be distracted by the arrival of her breakfast. His own sense of being on dangerous ground, of identifying a quality in her that might lead him into sharing confidences he might regret, seems to be warning him to quit whilst he’s ahead. He finishes his coffee quickly and smiles at her.
‘That was good but I need to dash. I’ve promised to get some things for Fliss and she’s waiting for them. See you again sometime.’
‘Yes,’ she says, almost absently. ‘Fine. Yes. See you around.’
He stops at the counter, wonders if he should pay for her breakfast and compromises by paying for her coffee. Then he goes out into the High Street, still feeling that he’s been on the verge of talking about his confusion and fear despite the fact that he barely knows Charley and he’s not given to baring his soul readily. His private feelings, especially those for Ying-Yue, are not to be shared lightly over a cup of coffee with a woman he’s only just met, even if she is very attractive and amusing. He’s glad to be beyond her disturbing influence.
Charley sits eating her breakfast but not really aware of it. Sam has surprised her. She really thought that she’d touched a nerve during that lunchtime in the pub in Salcombe. He was really fired up when he talked about his experience in China and she could tell that he was unwilling to discuss any aspect of a career in the navy, despite all the others encouraging him; telling her how wonderful it was for him.
To be honest, she rather likes to encourage mutiny, rule-bending. It’s always made her popular with her young pupils but has never endeared her to her superiors, which is probably why she’s never held down a long-term teaching job. She was confident that she could fill Sam with a kind of rebellion against that solid military background; encourage him to break the mould. It always gives her an odd sense of secret pleasure when she encourages others to push the boundaries, take chances.
‘You’re a free spirit,’ people say to her admiringly.
But being a free spirit has led her to having lovers who won’t commit, and several jobs. Perhaps inspiring others to rebel makes her feel less lonely. She thinks about Amy and Cosmo. Personally, she can’t see what all the fuss is about. Just because he lives and works in London doesn’t mean that he’s off-limits. Seize the day and let the future take care of itself, is her motto. Now that Simon has got this temporary job upcountry, she’s feeling restless. She needs a new challenge: a new man.
The café radio is playing ‘Holding out for a Hero’. Charley smiles at the irony, finishes her breakfast, has a chat with Andy and Rob, and then heads off to the Potting Shed.
As he strides up the High Street towards the ironmonger’s, Sam is trying to make sense of his confusion; that continual pull back to Shanghai, Ying-Yue, the children he taught. He knows that he’s being entirely irrational. Charley has put his feelings into words. She saw this unlikely vision of his future in a positive and exciting light, and yet his reaction was negative. He’s spent weeks hiding the possibility of exploring this new career from the people around him lest they should rubbish it and yet, when someone finds it praiseworthy, he immediately backs off.
‘What is the matter with you?’ he mutters to himself. ‘For God’s sake, get a grip.’
He knows that he should talk to Fliss and Hal about it but there never seems to be the right moment to introduce the subject. And, anyway, the trouble is, the only advice anyone ever really wants is the sort that confirms them in their own decisions. And, since he hasn’t made a decision, that’s not going to happen. He hoped that he might be able to broach the subject with Max but he can see that, even if Cara hadn’t been there, he wouldn’t have known how to start.
He finishes his shopping and heads back towards the car park. As he passes the Potting Shed, Charley is outside, tidying the racks of garden equipment and potted plants. She straightens up and smiles at him and he is once again aware of her attraction; her magnetism.
‘Shopping done?’ she asks.
She looks amused, as if she is aware that he was escaping from her earlier, avoiding answering her awkward questions. He feels uncomfortable but he nods.
‘Yes, thanks. All done.’
‘And thanks for my coffee,’ she says, as he makes to go. ‘You must let me return the favour.’
‘That would be good,’ he says, embarrassed. ‘See you around then.’
And he hurries away before she can suggest a date. He suspects that she is watching him go, laughing at him, and it’s a relief to get into the car and drive away towards Staverton.
Charley watches him go, smiling a little to herself. He’s very attractive and she wonders if there was a girl out there in China. Her phone vibrates and she takes it out of her pocket. It’s a text from Amy.
Coming over to see a client. Meet up afterwards? I’ve got Cosmo with me!
Several emojis – laughter, fear, a bottle of wine – follow this and Charley laughs out loud. She types a message.
Finishing at two o’clock. Is that any good?
The reply comes straight back.
See you in the tapas bar. Act surprised.
Charley puts her phone away, and arches her eyebrows. She is surprised – and pleased – that Amy should feel ready to introduce her to Cosmo, even if he has no idea that it’s going to happen. Charley chuckles inwardly. The prospect delights her. This is just up her street. What doesn’t surprise her, though, is that Amy wants to make this introduction on neutral territory. This will be the first test. Amy wants to see how Cosmo makes out in these circumstances before she moves closer to home. It’s interesting that she hasn’t warned Cosmo, that she wants to take him by surprise. This is clearly not a straightforward relationship. From what Amy has told her there may be reservations on Cosmo’s side: he seems to be a bit slippery, difficult to pin down. This is where she can be useful. What would be more natural than for Amy’s old friend to ask casual questions? Maybe she can be a little more cunning than Amy – after all, she has nothing to lose – and she suspects that this is part of the reason behind Amy’s plan. She wants reassurance, approval, courage to move forward. Charley takes a deep breath. She simply can’t wait.
As soon as Charley walks into Ben’s Wine and Tapas, Cosmo knows he’s been set up. He’s not in the least deceived by the cries of amazement from the two girls or their reasons for being there without telling the other. All the way from Salcombe he was aware of a little buzz of excitement just below Amy’s natural cool. She talked about her client, just a very quick visit to discuss sourcing some garden tubs and pots, and how Reggie would enjoy a walk along the river out to Longmarsh, but all the while he was aware that she was distracted. It hadn’t occurred to him what it might be: the old uni friend called in to make her assessment.
He’s partly annoyed and partly amused. This woman, Charley, is in her thirties, quite a bit older than Amy, and dresses like a seventies flower-power child. She doesn’t constitute a threat, in his opinion. In fact he can tell pretty quickly that she’s ready to approve, to encourage her friend in this little adventure. He guesses that she’ll give him the third degree and so by the time they’re all sitting at a table together he’s ready for her.
He goes along with it, putting himself out to make an impression without making it too obvious, determined to give nothing away.
‘That sounds pretty cool,’ Charley says, when he tells her what he does, though he suspects that she has no idea what his work entails. He talks instead about how he’s blown away by this part of the world, how he’s taking lots of photographs, working up his blog. It’s easy to make her laugh, to pretend that he finds her witty and attractive without overstepping the mark, but all the while his brain is darting to and fro, seeking ways of holding her out of his private life. He guesses that she’s definitely on Amy’s side in that she wants to encourage their relationship, rather than being in any way protective about her. She’s the kind of woman who thinks it’s cool to live on the wild side and this, oddly, has the opposite effect on him. Unexpectedly he wants to turn to Amy and tell her the truth: that he’s living in two worlds, both of them are equally real to him, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.
He doesn’t do it, of course – he’s not quite that crazy – but it occurs to him that this Charley might be rather dangerous. She’s rather like the witch in the fairy story who promises the prince that he can have it all. Despite being able to see this, he’s still attracted to her. He wants to believe that she’s right, that his wish can come true and that he can have it all.
By the time they part they are all good friends, and if it weren’t for poor old Reggie stuck in the car they’d be making an evening of it.
Thank God for Reggie, thinks Cosmo, as they all say goodbye. He wonders what Amy will say as they walk back to the car but to his surprise she says nothing. She talks instead of the party she’s planning for her father’s birthday but she doesn’t invite Cosmo, which slightly surprises him. After the meeting with her friend he suspected that Amy would be ready to try to move things along but he’s relieved all the same. He doesn’t know how he would behave towards her father.
He drives through the now familiar lanes, slightly thrown by the afternoon, hoping Amy will come in when they get back. They could have a drink and he’ll make some supper and perhaps, this time, she’ll stay longer than she did last time. Making love can solve so many problems.
Amy sits beside him, seething with various emotions. She is really angry with herself for arranging the meeting the way she did. It was clear almost from the get-go that Cosmo knew he’d been set up, and she feels embarrassed and at a disadvantage. He behaved perfectly, fielding Charley’s remarks with grace and charm, telling everything and nothing, and now Amy feels like a complete fool. If she was hoping that this would move the relationship forward she couldn’t have been more wrong. Knowing that he saw through her plan is humiliating but she tries to see a way out of this; to turn it into something more positive. She decides that honesty is the best policy.
‘Well, that didn’t work, did it?’ she observes cheerfully.
She sees Cosmo stiffen slightly. His hands on the wheel take a firmer grip. She loves his hands with their long elegant fingers. He slips a look sideways at her.
‘Sorry?’ he says cautiously.
‘I thought you might freak out if I told you Charley was coming, so I decided to set you up. You knew right off, didn’t you?’
She can see that she’s taken him by surprise and that he’s first shocked and then amused. He begins to laugh.
‘It did just cross my mind,’ he admits coolly. ‘I hope I passed the test.’
She sees her advantage, that he actually admires her for being upfront about it, and decides to push it further.
‘I’m tired of you fobbing me off every time I suggest you meet my dad or my friends so I decided to take it into my own hands,’ she tells him. ‘You didn’t do badly, but you’ll have to be better than that with my dad.’
Her audacity has paid off. Cosmo glances at her, his eyes alight with amusement.
‘I still think it was underhand,’ he says, determined to take advantage of his own position and not let her off completely.
‘So do I,’ she admits. ‘But you were asking for it. Admit it.’
‘OK.’ He raises one hand from the wheel as if signifying defeat. ‘But you can’t blame me. It’s always scary, meeting the rellies.’
‘Had a lot of experience, have you?’ she asks swiftly.
He groans, but he doesn’t answer, and she sits back in her seat, more relaxed now. Nevertheless, she needs to consolidate her position, hold the advantage she’s won.
‘I just might invite you to Dad’s party,’ she says, ‘but I’m still thinking about it.’
‘And I just might need some persuading,’ he answers.
She grins. ‘What have you got in mind?’
‘A drink when we get back?’ he suggests swiftly. ‘Supper?’
She laughs, feeling a huge relief that everything has sorted itself out, and that it looks like he’s reconciled to coming to the party. Relief makes her generous.
‘Sounds good to me,’ she agrees lightly. ‘I’ve got nothing else planned.’
Her anger and embarrassment have passed and she is glad, now, that she took the chance. She’ll text Charley later and let her know that all is well. She longs to know what her old friend thinks about Cosmo and decides to ask her to Dad’s party, too. She glances sideways at Cosmo and is filled with all sorts of sensations: happiness, excitement, lust. He senses her glance and stretches a hand to her, his eyes on the lane ahead. She holds his hand tightly, rerunning the scene in the tapas bar.
‘How did you guess I’d set it up?’ she asks.
Cosmo laughs, gives her hand a squeeze and releases it.
‘Male intuition,’ he says.
Charley smiles when Amy’s text comes in: she’s been expecting it. It’s rather sweet that Amy’s seeking approval, reassurance. Perhaps it’s because she doesn’t have a mum that she looks to the older woman for confirmation of her feelings. Now that she’s met Cosmo, Charley can understand Amy’s anxieties. Despite his friendly, confident, extrovert approach, he’s very clever at diverting questions he doesn’t want to answer, at protecting his privacy. She was frustrated by his slickness. At the end of their afternoon together she still didn’t know a great deal more about him than the things that Amy has already told her and it was impossible to pin down his intentions as to what he might have in mind when his house-sitting commitment is over.
Charley has an unwilling respect for Cosmo’s deft handling of the situation but she can’t see that Amy should be too worried. He’s clearly fallen head over heels in love with the South Hams, with Amy, with the converted barn he’s living in – even with Reggie. He’s utterly sold on the whole experience and Charley feels certain that Amy should be able to take full advantage of it. Although she can’t imagine Amy ever moving to London, it’s not impossible that Cosmo should relocate to Bristol or Exeter.
As she rereads Amy’s text – So what did you think of him? – Charley wonders if Cosmo has a girlfriend in London. It seems unlikely to imagine that he hasn’t – he’s a very attractive, amusing man – but, if he has, it’s odd that he should take a three-month sabbatical alone, and when he talks about his flat, making fun of its lack of space, it’s clear that nobody else is sharing it with him.
Charley shrugs away the problem of the mythical girlfriend. All’s fair in love and war, and Amy should take her advantage and run with it. Seize the day and let the future take care of itself. Even as she repeats her mantra to herself she is aware of its treacherous repercussions. Nevertheless she refuses to acknowledge them. To do so would mean that she might have to acknowledge the flaws and failures in her own life. She mustn’t allow herself to think about Simon, who finds it difficult to commit to a settled life, or her own inability to hold down a serious job for any length of time. She must continue to play the part of the fun, independent, up-together woman. She must never let anyone see behind the smoke and mirrors, not even herself: especially not herself. Instead she taps out a reply to Amy:
Gorgeous. Go for it xx
When another text comes in – Cosmo’s making supper. Would you like to come to Dad’s birthday party next weekend? – Charley is filled with pleasure, not only at the idea of Amy and Cosmo enjoying an intimate supper together, but also at the prospect of a party. Smiling to herself, Charley sends a quick acceptance, hums a bar or two from ‘Holding out for a Hero’ and goes to pour herself a glass of wine.