CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Judith comes out of Cranch’s and pauses on the pavement to check her shopping list. Max has suggested that they should meet up in the Coffee Shop when she’s finished but for the life of her she can’t imagine why they would do that when they can have coffee at home five minutes away. When she said so to Max she saw a fleeting expression on Cara’s face: a blend of puzzlement, amusement and pity.

Annoyance at this almost patronizing look was very difficult to control but Judith simply replied that she’d never had time for café society – if that was what it was called – and it was probably too late to start now. As far as she can tell, in the few days she’s been away, Max and Cara have spent most of their time in the Coffee Shop or in the pub.

‘Good morning, Judith.’

Jack Hannaford is smiling at her. Time was he would have called her Mrs Watson but now he considers himself to be almost a friend of the family. In fact, they’ve been invited to his birthday party. It’s very difficult in such a small community to maintain the required distance between neighbours and the people who work for you, but it’s necessary to try to hold on to your privacy.

She nods at Jack, tries to think of something that will sound pleasant whilst keeping him in his place, but doesn’t succeed. And now here is that girl of his, standing beside him, dressed in paint-splashed overalls and smiling at Judith as if they are old friends.

‘Hi,’ she says cheerfully. ‘How are you doing?’

‘I’m well, thank you,’ Judith answers coolly, but remembering to smile. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good,’ answers Amy, and Judith is seized with another pang of irritation. She wants to point out that she is enquiring after Amy’s health, not her moral well-being – why do the young talk in this irritating way? – but she contains herself and nods again.

‘And congratulations on the new grandchild,’ adds Amy. ‘That’s really great.’

Judith feels herself thawing a little, warming to this generous remark.

‘Thank you,’ she answers. ‘It’s all very exciting.’

‘We were just going to grab a quick cup of coffee,’ Jack says. ‘Would you like to join us?’

‘No, no,’ says Judith quickly – rather too quickly. She smiles again to cover any rudeness. ‘Max will be wondering where I am. But thank you.’

‘See you later, then,’ Amy says. ‘Glad you can come to Dad’s party.’

Jack Hannaford grins, as if he can guess exactly what Judith is thinking, and she simply nods again, and turns away. She’s already told Max what she thinks about the party but Max is standing firm. He’s always liked Jack; all those silly quiz nights, and sailing together. Judith’s view is that surely Max has plenty of other friends at the sailing club he can go sailing with.

Judith climbs the steps beside the Fortescue, thinking about the party. The trouble is that Jack always makes her feel uneasy. She suspects that deep down he is laughing at her, that he lacks respect. This is all part of the problem with living in a small community, of course: people are so friendly – too friendly. Max enjoys it – and so does Cara – but personally she prefers the anonymity of the city. Not too big, of course. Somewhere like Oxford. Outside their house Judith pauses for a moment, staring up at it. The idea in her head has expanded and taken shape. And now another thought occurs, blinding in its clarity, and she stands, gazing at nothing, thinking it through, trying it out.

Max comes out on to the balcony above her and looks down at her.

‘Got a problem?’ he calls. ‘Want me to let down a rope and haul you up?’

He bursts out laughing, as though he has said something funny, and calls to Cara behind him in the kitchen. It occurs to Judith that Cara never goes out on to the balcony but the thought doesn’t distract Judith from her new and exciting idea. She nods at Max, acknowledging his witticism, and goes in through the gate to the front door.


‘What’s her problem?’ asks Amy as she leads the way into the Coffee Shop and waves to Lydia at the counter. ‘She always looks like she’s swallowed a glass of vinegar.’

‘She has difficulty in forgetting that I’m the handyman,’ Jack answers. ‘She finds it hard to treat me as an equal.’

‘Seriously?’ Amy stares at him. ‘What is she? Royalty or something?’

‘You have to remember that Max retired as a four-ring captain,’ Jack tells her. ‘That’s very senior. It’s uncomfortable for Judith to be like the rest of us after living for all those years at the top end of a hierarchy.’

‘Max doesn’t seem to have a problem with it,’ retorts Amy.

Jack smiles. ‘Max doesn’t have anything to prove. An Americano for me, if you’re getting them. Cold milk on the side. Thanks.’

He sits down, waves a greeting to a couple of cronies, and wonders if it was wise to invite Max and Judith to his party. It’s become complicated, now that Cara has become a friend, to maintain the delicate balance he’s managed so far with Max and Judith. Max understands the situation and is flexible, but now everything has changed. Jack wonders how Judith will react when Cara tells her that she’s been to the opera a couple of times with him. It’s not really Judith’s fault. She put her own career to one side to follow Max to his postings around the country and abroad, and she believes that her status is directly related to his. She’s been a naval wife and she’s used to a hierarchy that everyone within that special close-knit group understands and respects. But that was then and this is now – and it’s cold outside the services.

Jack feels a sympathy for Judith, which he knows would outrage her. He turns round as a dog jostles behind him, nudging his sleeve, and glances up at the dog’s owner. The young man is tall, dark-haired, and Jack knows with absolute certainty that this is Cosmo. This certainty is confirmed by the way the man is staring at Amy, who is chatting to Lydia and hasn’t seen him come in. His look is intense, expectant, and Jack draws a deep breath.

‘Hi,’ he says casually, putting out a hand to the dog, smiling up at the dark man. ‘We haven’t met yet but something tells me that you’re Cosmo.’


When Amy turns away from the counter and sees Cosmo pulling out a chair and sitting down opposite her father, she feels a thrill of apprehension. It’s happened at last, unplanned, unpremeditated, and suddenly relief sweeps away her fear. She’s been slightly dreading the party, and she didn’t want to repeat the mistake she made with Charley of setting up a meeting, so this is the best way. Everyone on the back foot, everyone equal. Both men look cool, friendly, both acknowledging that this is not quite a casual meeting of two strangers.

Taking courage from their relaxed body language, the amusement on her father’s face as he strokes Reggie, she goes to join them.

‘Hi,’ she says, hoping she sounds as casual as she feels. ‘So you seem to have introduced yourselves.’

‘Your father recognized me,’ Cosmo says, half getting to his feet, grinning at her, ‘not because of your glowing reports, I hasten to say, but because I’m the only stranger in here.’

His eyes sparkle. He seems to be enjoying himself, equal to the situation. As she sits down beside her father she can tell that he’s not totally taken in by Cosmo’s apparent equanimity and she hopes that they really will hit it off. Unexpectedly, she thinks of how she and Cosmo made love last night, how exciting it was, and, as she catches his eye and he sends her a tiny wink, her face is suffused with bright colour and she wants to burst out laughing – and at the same time simply to run away.

Cosmo is talking enthusiastically to her father about the town, the creek, the magic of it all, distracting attention from her confusion, and by the time Lydia arrives with the coffee Amy is able to behave with some semblance of normality. Cosmo gets up to go to order his own coffee and Amy waits for her father to make a comment.

‘Well,’ he says, pouring milk into his Americano, ‘I can now see why he’s called Cosmo. It’s so absolutely the right name for him. Cosmopolitan, smooth, and not easily fazed.’

There’s a little silence whilst Amy tries to work out if this is a compliment.

‘Does that mean you like him?’ she asks uncertainly.

Her father smiles at her, purses his lips and shrugs. ‘You know me. I never make snap decisions. But he’s welcome to come to my party.’

Amy bends to stroke Reggie so as to cover her relief. From her father, this is quite a positive statement.

‘That’s good,’ she says casually. ‘It would be embarrassing to have to cancel our invite.’

Suddenly her father moves, twisting round in his chair, and she sits up to see what has attracted his attention. Cara has come in and is putting her belongings on a table by the door. As she goes to order her coffee it’s clear that she’s alone and her father pushes back his chair. He grins at Amy.

‘Two’s company, three’s a crowd,’ he says. ‘See you later.’

And, picking up his coffee, he goes to join Cara.


Cara has just come from the bookshop, collecting some books she ordered from Jessica, the owner, and enjoying a chat with her. She’s delighted to see Jack.

‘May I join you?’ he asks. ‘I’m tired of playing gooseberry so I’m counting on you to save me.’

Puzzled, she glances across the café, waves to Amy and then sees Cosmo coming back from the counter.

‘You’ve met Cosmo at last?’ she asks. ‘What do you think of him?’

‘He’s very smooth,’ says Jack, sitting down. ‘He didn’t turn a hair.’

‘You mean this wasn’t arranged? You just met him by chance?’

‘That’s right. Amy and I were already here when he arrived with his dog. Took it all in his stride.’ He glances across at Cosmo, who is making Amy laugh. ‘Good-looking devil, isn’t he?’

Cara watches the two young people. There’s a new ease to their behaviour, a new intimacy.

‘I wish I knew a bit more about him,’ Jack is saying, ‘but I suppose there comes a point when you just have to let go. You’ve met him a couple of times, you said. What do you make of him?’

She is not going to tell him that because of Cosmo’s resemblance to a man she knew nearly forty years ago she wouldn’t trust him for a second. It would sound so crazy. Instead she casts around for a light-hearted response.

‘The dog likes him,’ she says, nodding towards Reggie, whose head rests on Cosmo’s knee. ‘That’s supposed to be a good sign, isn’t it?’

‘Dogs like anyone who feeds them,’ he answers cynically. ‘You’ll have to do better than that.’

‘Amy likes him,’ she offers. ‘Does that count for anything?’

‘Are you kidding? Look at him. Even I can see that he’s an extremely attractive young man. He’s older, sophisticated, London-type. All guaranteed to turn her head.’

Cara laughs. ‘What a cynic you are. Well, he’ll be gone soon, from what I gather, so we must hope he doesn’t break her heart.’

She wonders how she can talk so lightly, but what else can she do?

‘It’s at times like this,’ Jack is saying, ‘that I really miss Sally. You know? A woman’s instinct and all that? I know Amy talks to Charley but Charley’s more like a sister. She doesn’t have quite that same sense of responsibility as a parent. It’s just that I don’t want Amy to get hurt, which is a stupid thing to say because everyone gets hurt one way or another, don’t they? You can’t protect the people you love from life.’

For a moment he looks so serious, so vulnerable, that she wants to reach across and take his hands, which are lightly clenched on the table as if they are holding on to Amy, keeping her safe. She wonders how to cheer him, but at this moment Lydia brings her coffee, the tension is broken and Jack sits back again. He turns to look at Amy and Cosmo whilst Cara sips her coffee. Amy is getting up. She comes across to them, smiles at Cara and taps her father on the shoulder.

‘If you want that lift to Kingsbridge we need to get going,’ she tells him.

He nods, stands up and looks down at Cara.

‘We’ll be seeing you at the party,’ he says.

He and Amy go out together and Cara drinks her coffee, deliberately not looking at Cosmo. As she gazes at her cup, held between both her hands, she sees that there’s a little blue sail painted on it. She’s never noticed it before. Out of the corner of her eye she sees that Cosmo is standing up, grabbing Reggie’s lead. They pause beside her table and she looks up at him. His smile is infectious; his vitality is almost tangible. She smiles back at him, longing to be wrong; willing him to be trustworthy, loyal, and in love with Amy. Yet even as he smiles she recognizes the gleam behind its friendliness, a kind of exaltation, as if he has got away with something, brought off something risky. It’s the look of a gambler; of someone who risks all on the roll of the dice.

‘I’ve been invited to a party,’ he says. ‘Shall I see you there?’

She nods. Cosmo laughs, tips his head towards the words on the beam above her head, Dolce far Niente, and goes out into the sunshine with Reggie.


As Cosmo strides away from the Coffee Shop, out of the town, he’s still feeling on a high. It was a shock, meeting Amy’s dad like that but, after all, it’s always been on the cards. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and better in that natural crowded environment than formally at the party amongst their friends and family. Amy was a tad tense to begin with, which wasn’t surprising after their previous evening together, but she was able to get over it.

Gradually, though, as the high subsides, Cosmo feels slightly less euphoric about his ability to hold all this together. The whole adventure is too good to let go. Amy is a darling and he is definitely in love with her, as he is in love with this whole place. And it’s clear that she is in love with him. But that doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily a long-term thing. The trouble is, he can no longer see where reality lies. Is it here with Amy or in London with Becks? His work and his flat are in London, and it would be a very big step to change all of that but, at the same time, it will be a huge wrench to leave this place: to leave Amy. Some part of him tries to believe that somehow, magically, it will all resolve itself and, just for now, for his remaining few weeks, he can go with the flow.

Even as he tries to convince himself that this is the truth, a message pings in and he pulls his phone from his pocket. He’s expecting Amy, making some comment on the meeting with her father, but it’s a text from Al.

Hi. Thought I’d pop down again this weekend. Something the parents want me to check. Sorry it’s such short notice. Arriving Saturday. Same place.

Cosmo stands still to reread the text. His euphoria is vanishing and a real anxiety is taking its place. Reggie tugs at his lead and Cosmo walks on more slowly, trying to decide how to reply. After all, the house belongs to Al’s parents; Cosmo can’t refuse him access. And Al won’t be fazed by the news that his friend is going to a party on Saturday evening. Knowing Al, he’ll ask if he can come along. Now all the excitement, the euphoria, is gone, leaving a very chilly reality. The thought of Al meeting Amy, Jack, even Cara, makes Cosmo very nervous indeed. He tries to imagine Amy’s face if Al were to slip up and mention Becks, and his gut churns. As he walks, his mind darts to and fro trying to find a way through and he can think of only one solution. All he can do is to say that if Al is coming down then he, Cosmo, will take advantage of his visit to dash to London to see Becks. Al can look after Reggie again. It means missing Jack’s party but that’s definitely the lesser of two evils. Quickly Cosmo texts Becks, telling her of this opportunity of coming to see her. Even if she refuses, he’ll go anyway and stay at the flat. But why should she? Unless, of course, Al has dropped him in it with her. Once again Cosmo’s gut churns but, to his intense relief, Becks texts back almost immediately.

Great. Text me times. Off to a meeting xx

Cosmo feels weak with relief. He swallows several times, takes a great gasp of air and then taps a text to Al.

That means you can look after Reggie while I dash up to see Becks. Great stuff! See you at the station.

He’s almost home before he receives Al’s text. It’s rather laconic.

Not quite what I had in mind but OK.

As he climbs the steps, lets Reggie off the lead, a new problem occurs to Cosmo. What on earth will he say to Amy? Even as he thinks about it another text pings in. It’s from Amy.

That was amazing. You’ve passed the first test. Let’s see how you do at the party! xxx

This is followed by several emojis depicting happiness and fun. Cosmo stares at it and groans aloud. He goes into the house with Reggie at his heels, his mind busy with what kind of crisis he can dream up as his excuse. The family party he invented was one thing; this will need to be something else altogether. Perhaps it will be best to wait until almost the last minute, until he’s on the train to London, so that there’s no chance of an actual confrontation.

Cosmo makes several attempts at a reply to the text but in the end simply types:

It was great to meet him.

It’s lame but just for now it’s the best he can do. Cosmo stands at the kitchen window and stares out, but for once he is unaware of the view. He’s visualizing his two universes spinning towards each other, on a collision course.