Cosmo drives slowly in the steep, narrow lanes, although at least now he is used to driving on roads that have grass and moss growing along the centre of them. But he still can’t resist those views beyond the gateways: those glimpses of estuary and creeks and little boats. As he drives, he remembers that very first visit with Al and how he was captivated by the magic of this place.
‘Three months’ paid holiday in a dream location, mate,’ Al said. ‘What’s not to like?’
And now, all over again, the magic is working its spell and he lingers to look at the miracles of light and landscape. He thinks back to his last homecoming, when he walked Reggie out to the point and met Cara with her dog. He guessed that Cara knew that he was playing away, but he managed to avoid any difficulties then and he’s praying that he can do it again now with Amy. There was no way he was able to pull it off with Becks but then she’s trained to spot a lie at fifty paces. He grimaces a little as he recalls the way she reacted when she saw that text from Al. Up till then it had been so good, just like that first weekend when he went back to London to prevent her from coming to Salcombe. He was too slow when Al’s text suddenly pinged in, and she was on it before he fully realized what was happening. Two large glasses of Shiraz dulled his reactions and Becks was grabbing his phone, reading the text, scrolling up to previous messages.
Cosmo pulls away from the gateway, instinctively shutting down on the scene that followed, trying not to remember the names she called him. He was unable to counter her razor-sharp interrogation and although he convinced himself she would change her mind, that he could talk her round, he was obliged at last to accept that it was completely and utterly over.
Now he has Amy to face; to explain away his sudden flight last Saturday and the phone silence he’s maintained simply because he didn’t know what to say to her. Even on his visits to Becks’ flat, while he collected his things together and pleaded with her to be reasonable, he was still trying to think of some scenario that might satisfy Amy should Becks continue to refuse to relent.
He told Al that he would tell Amy the truth, and this is still his best plan: that, once he met Amy, the on-and-off relationship with his long-term girlfriend was simply no longer tenable and that he went to make an end to it. He can see that there are flaws in this story – that he has been deceiving both of them; that the day of the party was not the moment to rush away without explanation; that it’s taken four days to break up with this girlfriend – but he is relying on Amy’s feelings. She told him that she’s in love with him, they’ve made love, he’s come back to her. This is where he must start and he’s pretty sure that he can bring it off. He remembers that Al asked what he would do when his house-sitting comes to an end next week, but he can’t plan for that. He still has a romantic notion of handing in his notice and taking up photography, though, if he’s honest, he knows that it’s a crazy idea. Maybe he could sell the flat and fund himself through a training course.
Just for a moment there, at the station, it was uncomfortable with Al. His old friend was a bit cool; a bit off-hand. But the years of friendship won through. Al could see that things were tough, he gave him a one-arm hug and said: ‘Try not to be more of a prat than you can help.’ After that it was easier, and Al told him about the school reunion, and how some of them were planning more nights out together. He’d reeled off some names, including Melissa’s. Cosmo remembered Melissa, a very pretty blonde girl. He had a massive crush on her when they were both in the sixth form, and they enjoyed a rather romantic interlude during the summer before they went off to different universities.
‘Sounds fun. If I’m back in London by then, I might come along,’ he said casually, and Al said, ‘Great. I’ll keep you posted.’
Now, Cosmo drives in through the gateway and bumps slowly up the drive. The first thing is to make a plan to meet up with Amy. He reaches for his phone, thinks for a moment and then texts.
Back at last. Can’t wait to see you. Lots to tell you. Can you come over this evening? Really missed you. C XX
He waits for a moment but there’s no reply, so he gets out and goes to release Reggie. Cosmo bends to stroke him and then straightens to look around him. He hears a strange noise, rather like the baying of hounds, and then he sees a skein of geese in perfect formation flying eastwards. He watches them out of sight, sighs with pleasure at being back again, and follows Reggie into the house.
Amy is home alone, waiting for Sam. She texted him as soon as she heard from Cosmo and asked him if he could come round. It’s odd, this need to see him, to ask for his company and advice, but somehow he has become important to her. There’s something stable about him; she feels that she can trust him. It’s as if this whole Cosmo thing has been some kind of dream that is fading in the light of something more real, but she still feels angry and hurt, and, even worse, a fool for being taken in.
When she hears the knock at the door she hurries to open it. Sam stands outside and she resists the urge to fling her arms round him.
‘It’s the cavalry,’ he says, grinning at her, stepping past her into the big kitchen. ‘So. What’s new?’
‘I’ve had this text from Cosmo,’ she says, without preamble. ‘He’s back. No explanation or anything. Just asking if we can meet up and can I go over to his for supper.’
‘Well, you’re not going to do that, are you?’ says Sam firmly, then glances quickly at her to see if he’s taking too much for granted.
She shakes her head, remembering the last time she was with Cosmo at the barn. ‘No,’ she says. ‘No, I’m not. But I’m going to have to see him and I don’t want to bump into him unexpectedly. I just don’t know how to do it.’
‘You suggest that you meet at the Coffee Shop,’ says Sam. ‘After all, that’s what you often do, isn’t it?’
‘The Coffee Shop?’ She stares at him. ‘Seriously? In public?’
‘Definitely in public,’ answers Sam calmly. ‘That way you’re totally in control. He can’t shout or get stroppy in the Coffee Shop. You’ll be able to listen to him and then tell him how you feel.’
Amy thinks about this plan. She can see that it has its merits.
‘It’s sounding,’ says Sam rather tentatively, ‘as if you’re not expecting him to have any good excuse for dashing away.’
She shakes her head. ‘I haven’t. He’s been out of touch for so long. And when I asked Al he just looked really embarrassed and ducked the question. I knew then that something’s going on and … oh, I don’t know. I don’t want to be made a fool of, I suppose. Though it’ll be interesting to hear what he has to say.’
‘Well, either way, for you it’s a win-win situation. If you think he’s conning you then you just pick your moment and walk out, but if he’s utterly convincing and you change your mind then you can take it from there.’
Amy watches him. She has a very strong feeling that Sam is hoping that it will be the first option, and she likes him even more for not trying to influence her against Cosmo.
‘And if I walk out,’ she says casually, ‘will you be around somewhere? In case he follows me or something.’
‘I think that could be arranged,’ he says, imitating her casual tone. ‘You could just come straight up to Buckley Street or you could text. What time will you arrange to meet him?’
‘I’m working in Island Street this week,’ she says, ‘but I can take a coffee break. I’ll say that I’ll meet him at ten thirty before it gets too busy in the Coffee Shop.’
‘OK,’ says Sam. ‘I’ll be around. But just let me know if he convinces you he’s on the level and you plan to stay there for a while.’
‘I’ll do that,’ she says nonchalantly. ‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome,’ he says.
‘By the way,’ she adds, ‘what did you think of Judith’s idea of Cara buying their house? Has she mentioned it yet?’
‘I don’t know. I more or less dropped Cara off and came straight round here. I think it’s a bit cheeky, actually. My people have invited Cara to stay for a little while and I hope she’s going to take them up on it. I have a feeling there might be quite a ding-dong going on with Judith and Max. I was glad to keep out of the way, actually, so you’re doing me a favour.’
She laughs. ‘So would you like to stay to supper?’
‘Well,’ he hesitates. ‘I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble. Can I buy you a drink? We could go to the pub.’
She shakes her head. ‘I don’t want to go out in case I bump into Cosmo, but you’re welcome to stay for a bit if you’d like to. Dad’ll be in soon.’
‘Thanks,’ he says. ‘I’d like that.’
‘Good,’ she says. ‘That’s great. I’ll send him a text and then we’ll have a drink.’
She feels calmer, ready to face Cosmo. She takes out her phone and begins to text him.
By the time Cara and Sam arrive back in Salcombe, Max’s nerves are stretched to snapping point. Judith has now fallen totally in love with her idea of selling the house to Cara and moving to Oxford. She’s shortlisted three properties and has completely convinced herself that she and Max will be doing Cara a favour.
‘She’s in such a dither,’ she said to him, ‘that it’s almost a kindness to make up her mind for her. And we’ll be able to come back here for holidays. It’s good for everyone.’
As she talked on, giving him no chance to put a point of view, Max grew angry and frustrated, and more depressed at the prospect of leaving his life here in Salcombe, in Buckley Street. When he suggested discussing the plan with Paul and Freya, Judith said that she wanted to make absolutely sure that Cara was in a position to pay the recommended price for the house so that they could buy what they wanted in Oxford.
‘After all, we don’t know what commitments she and Philip had,’ she said, ‘and though it’s unlikely there would be a problem it’s best to be clear. And Freya and Paul will be pleased,’ she added confidently. ‘Freya will want to go back to work before too long and she’ll be very relieved to have childcare lined up.’
The more she talked, the more hopeless Max became. He was certain that Cara would believe that her agreement was key to this new plan: that she might feel obliged to go along with it to give them the opportunity to be near their family. Max knew he would have no chance to get her alone and tell her that she didn’t have to buy the house if she didn’t want it. He wondered how she’d feel at the prospect of him moving away just after she’d come to Salcombe to be near him. In an odd, irrational way he feels that he’s letting Philip down.
And now here they are, waiting for Sam and Cara. Judith is alert, expectant. Max is nervous. But as soon as Sam and Cara come in he’s aware of some indefinable change in both of them. Sam has a newly confident air, a kind of suppressed excitement. And no sooner have they arrived than he’s off again to see Amy.
‘Bit of a crisis,’ he tells them airily. ‘Not sure when I’ll be back but don’t wait supper.’
Max can see that Judith is irritated by this casual behaviour, but, before she can comment on it, Cara is speaking. She talks quickly, as if she fears that she might lose her nerve, yet there’s a new determination about her.
‘We’ve had a great time,’ she says, ‘and while I’ve been away I’ve come to a decision. It’s been really great to be here but I know I’m crowding you a bit so I’ve accepted Fliss’s invitation to stay with them while I continue to look around for a place to live.’
Cara looks from one to the other, almost as if she is expecting approval or, at the very least, relief. Max smiles at her, waiting for the blow to fall, but Judith stares at her sister-in-law with an almost indignant expression: this is not how she’s planned the conversation. Just as Judith begins to speak, to protest, her phone rings. She hesitates, visibly irritated at the inconvenient timing, then snatches it up to see who’s calling.
‘It’s Paul,’ she tells them impatiently. ‘I’ll have to take this.’
She moves along the passage towards the bedroom but they can hear her responses: surprise, disbelief, shock. Max looks at Cara, raises his eyebrows, and she draws down the corners of her mouth. It doesn’t sound like good news. Max wonders if he can manage to brief Cara whilst Judith is otherwise occupied but the call finishes abruptly and Judith comes back into the kitchen. She looks stunned and Max stares at her anxiously.
‘What’s happened? Are they OK?’
Judith sits down at the table without looking at them. She moves a mug aside, folds the newspaper.
‘Paul’s been offered a research post at Harvard,’ she says at last. ‘They’ll be moving to Massachusetts early next year.’
They both stare at her. Cara is the first to speak.
‘I know that it’ll be tough for you with them so far away,’ she begins tentatively, ‘especially with Christopher in Dubai, but it’s good for Paul, isn’t it? And rather exciting for Freya and the children.’
It’s too late now to explain the original plan to Cara, and Max experiences a moment of exquisite relief before he speaks.
‘It’ll take a bit of adjusting to, for us,’ he says encouragingly to Judith, ‘but remember how much you and the boys enjoyed Washington when I was posted there. It’s a great opportunity for them all. We shall be able to visit them. To explore.’
Oscar gets out of his basket and goes to sit beside Judith, as if he senses her distress. He puts his head on her knee but she pushes him away.
‘I wasn’t expecting this,’ she says crossly.
Max sees that there is going to be a great deal of talking and persuasion to bring Judith to a positive place and he glances at Cara, who immediately takes the hint.
‘I thought I might take Oscar for a walk before it gets dark,’ she suggests. ‘If that’s OK?’
‘Yes,’ Max says quickly, gratefully. ‘You do that.’
As she goes downstairs with Oscar clattering behind her, Max sits down at the table and prepares to comfort his wife.
During the night a north-easterly breeze stirs the branches of the trees, shredding the mist that drifts in the valleys, and ruffling the waters of the estuary. In the east, the morning brightness swallows the dim stars and, as the sun rises, starlings begin to disperse from their roosts. The tide is on the turn and little boats swing at anchor, reflections shiver and break, and an egret, hunched against the cold breath of the wind, steps delicately along the shoreline. Up on the hill, a line of cows are making their way across the field towards the milking parlour, farm machinery is clanking into action, and a dog barks. A plane passes high overhead, its vapour trail slicing the sky in two, and a seagull, ghostly pale in the early morning sunlight, floats low, skimming across the water. The town stirs into life: a postman is walking along the quiet streets, shopkeepers are unlocking their doors, schoolchildren are gathering at the bus stop. In the church the priest is beginning Morning Prayer: ‘The night has passed and the day lies open before us …’
Cara, sitting at the table in the corner of the Coffee Shop, is trying to come to terms with this strange new sense of release; of freedom. She can hardly believe that after all these years she has broken the silence. This is how it must be when a boil is lanced and the poison allowed to pour out. She feels guilty that she told Philip’s secrets, yet they were so much a part of the whole, and nothing can harm him now. There has been so much guilt. As she drinks her coffee, she sees Cosmo come in and sit at the table by the door, which he watches anxiously. Presently Amy arrives, goes to order coffee and sits opposite him. Neither of them notices her and she continues with her own thoughts.
The extraordinary thing was that Hal and Fliss, and Sam too, were so calm that the reliving of her traumatic past was almost anticlimactic. Afterwards she slept heavily for an hour or so and when she woke she stayed curled up on her bed for a while, coming to terms with this strange new sensation, wondering how they could all possibly go forward. She scraped up her courage to go downstairs, to face them all, only to find that Fliss’s younger sister and her husband were there having a pre-supper drink. It was clear that Gus and Susanna knew nothing of what had gone before, the atmosphere was totally natural, cheerful and relaxed, so that Cara was able to join the party and allow their friendliness to embrace her.
Even as she remembers it all, Cara is watching Amy and Cosmo. They are totally absorbed in each other, but not in the way they once were. They no longer gaze at each other with faces alight with love. They are arguing in a quiet but furious way. Amy is flushed, her hands clenched into fists. Cosmo is gesticulating. His face wears an expression of disbelief that is almost comical. Cosmo is clearly trying to laugh Amy out of her anger, trying to persuade her that her fears are groundless, and not only that, rather foolish. To Cara it’s as if the scene in Rome is being replayed. Cosmo won’t fall to his death but she can see that he has already lost the battle. There is no sign of Reggie.
As people come and go, coffee is distributed and life goes on around them, it’s clear that Amy isn’t giving an inch. She leans forward, speaks softly but firmly, knocks away Cosmo’s entreating hand, then she gets up and walks out. She looks strong and confident, and Cara feels comforted by that look. Amy is moving on.
After a moment Cara gets up and, carrying her coffee, makes her way to Cosmo’s table. He’s sitting with his head in his hands but he looks up quickly. The momentary hope in his eyes dies as he sees who is sitting down opposite. Cara sits in silence drinking her coffee and presently Cosmo leans back in his chair, pushing his fingers through his short black hair
‘I completely misjudged that,’ he says conversationally, almost as if Cara has been sitting there all the time, witnessing what has gone before. ‘And now I’ve lost them both.’
A moment of silence whilst she thinks about that, then she says: ‘In which case it would seem that neither of them was meant for you.’
He looks at her in surprise. He is so like Joe but, even though she still experiences the mixed emotions that the memory calls up, she knows that at last she, too, is moving on. Telling Fliss and Hal and Sam has freed her up and shown a way forward out of the darkness. Now that she’s smashed the distorting mirror and seen her true reflection, she wants to break the pattern for Cosmo, too.
‘Next time,’ she suggests gently, ‘be wholehearted in your love.’
Cosmo frowns, as if the idea is new to him.
‘I was blown away by it all, you see,’ he says, as if he is expecting her to understand how he feels, to empathize with him. ‘There’s a magic about this place. About Amy. It was like walking into a fairy tale.’
‘Fairy tales rarely survive in the face of reality, and you’d have to go back to London soon, anyway, wouldn’t you?’ she asks.
He nods. ‘At the end of next week. But it needn’t have made any difference.’
‘Needn’t it?’
He stares at her and then smiles, acknowledging the real meaning behind the question.
‘OK. It wouldn’t have been easy …’
She watches him in silence and he goes quiet. After a moment he gives a little shrug as if he is accepting that he has lost. He pushes his empty cup aside.
‘At least you have something to go back to,’ she says. ‘You have your work. Friends. Al, is it? The things you had before you were bewitched.’
Cosmo shakes his head at the word, as if he suspects her of teasing him, and then he begins to look thoughtful, as if he is remembering something, as if he has already been offered some kind of way forward. He smiles a little – already she sees his vitality is returning – then he gets up, gives her a little bow and makes his way out. She watches him go. Perhaps the pattern will be broken and he will get a second chance at life.
‘You look miles away. OK if I join you?’
Jack is standing beside the table, smiling down at her, and she is filled with such delight at the sight of him that she is taken slightly by surprise. She realizes that, for the first time, she feels free to approach him on equal terms.
‘Of course,’ she says. ‘Have you ordered?’
He nods, sitting down opposite. ‘So what was the great thought for today?’
‘Nothing. I’ve been watching Amy give Cosmo his marching orders and I’m planning a long visit to Sam’s family at The Keep until I find a place to live.’
His look of surprise seems rather excessive and she raises her eyebrows at him.
‘I thought you knew it was on the cards?’
‘Yes.’ He still looks perplexed. ‘Yes, I did.’ He hesitates. ‘Do Judith and Max know you’re going?’
She begins to laugh. ‘It’s odd that you should ask that. D’you know, it was really weird. I took Sam’s advice and decided to announce it as soon as I got back. Well, when I got in there was a kind of atmosphere, as if they’d been having a row, but I decided to tell them anyway, and I have to say they both seemed rather taken aback by it.’ She frowns, remembering. ‘In fact Judith looked quite angry, which was odd because I thought she’d be pleased. Then her phone rang and she looked at it, and said, “It’s Paul.” So she answered it and then I thought she was actually going to pass out. Apparently he’s been offered a research post at Harvard University, and he and Freya and the children are moving to the States in the new year. Poor Judith is gutted. Max stayed calm. He was trying to comfort her, saying they’d go and visit, trying to show the positive side of it. He was still behaving a bit oddly, though, so I decided to give them some time together to discuss it and took Oscar for a walk round the creek.’
By the time she’s finished her recital Jack is laughing. He laughs and laughs, whilst she watches him, amused but baffled.
‘So what’s all that about?’ she asks, when at last he is able to control himself.
‘Nothing,’ he says, taking out his handkerchief and wiping his face. ‘It’s just … nothing. So you’re moving out?’
His coffee arrives and he sits back, smiles his thanks.
Cara nods. ‘I think it’s the right decision. When I got back from walking Oscar, Judith was already on the phone to Freya, trying to make a plan about them coming down for Christmas, and Max was still looking a tad stressed so I slipped away and came here. If Freya and Paul and the children are coming for Christmas there won’t be room for me anyway. I’m just very fortunate that there’s somewhere I can go for the time being. Fliss and Hal are incredibly kind and great fun.’ She gives a little sigh of relief, almost disbelief, at her luck. ‘I’m intending to embark on a life of pleasure.’ She gestures towards the beam above their heads. ‘That’s my motto from now on.’
Jack looks up, reads the words chalked there and chuckles. ‘Dolce far Niente?’
Cara smiles at him. ‘“The sweetness of doing nothing.” So. Any ideas?’
‘Well,’ he says thoughtfully, ‘if you’re not too taken up with your smart new friends we could begin with a night at the opera.’
‘Sounds like a plan,’ she agrees. ‘What’s on?’
‘Rigoletto.’
She looks pleased. ‘Oh, yes. Great fun. I’d like that.’
He smiles, and then quietly hums the opening bars of ‘La Donna è Mobile’. Cara bursts out laughing, aims a little blow at him.
‘I must get back,’ she says, and she gets up.
‘So must I,’ he says. ‘I’ve got work to do.’
They part outside the Coffee Shop and Cara climbs the steps beside the Fortescue Inn and crosses the street. Max is standing on the balcony leaning on the balustrade. She waves to him and goes into the house and up the stairs. There is no sign of Judith or of Oscar, and Cara crosses the kitchen to the door leading to the balcony. She hesitates, holding the door jamb, remembering the night of the hunter’s moon, and Max turns to smile at her. He looks cheerful, as if some burden has been lifted from him, and Cara smiles back at him. She takes a deep breath, lets go of the door jamb, and walks out on to the balcony to join him.