After squeezing into one of my wildly inappropriate dresses, curling ‘my’ long blonde hair and caking myself in make-up, I am ready to go to the pub.
Getting ready in my childhood bedroom, my minions messaging me to find out how long I’ll be and what I’m wearing, and even the butterflies in my stomach over seeing Howard are all such familiar feelings, taking me right back to being a teenager.
Walking down the stairs, I consider whether or not I actually need to go into the lounge and say goodbye. I suppose I should. It might seem weird, not saying goodbye to my fiancé.
I peep my head through the door to see my mum, sitting in her chair reading a magazine, and my dad and Jack on the sofa, their eyes glued to the screen. Of course they’re watching Countdown. Lucky for Jack, my dad was out when it was on TV earlier, so now he gets to enjoy it, too.
‘Ooh, come on in, let’s have a look at you,’ my mum insists.
I walk in and give my mother an obliging twirl.
‘Wow,’ Jack blurts. ‘You look amazing.’
‘Thank you,’ I tell him.
Obviously, I’m not thanking him for the fake compliment. I’m thanking him for actually thinking to give me a fake compliment.
‘So, what’s going on?’ I ask.
‘Your dad and I just got aroused,’ Jack informs me, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
‘You got… what?’
‘Aroused,’ Jack tells me, saying the word ever so slowly. ‘A-R-O-U-S-E-D. That’s seven letters.’
‘Susie didn’t get it,’ my dad adds proudly.
Oh, he means on Countdown. That’s much less weird. I have no idea who Susie is, but I’m to assume this is a good thing.
‘You sure you don’t want to introduce me to your friends?’ Jack asks.
‘It’ll just be boring girl talk all night,’ I lie. ‘You can meet them properly at the wedding.’
I feel bad, lying to Jack, but first of all, he’s not really my fiancé, and second, I want to spend some time with Howard.
‘OK,’ he says, easy-going as ever. ‘Well, Olly and Dougie are coming over to hang out, and Dougie is bringing his playing cards.’
‘Don’t play for money,’ I warn him firmly, much to my mum and dad’s confusion. ‘I mean, we’ve got a wedding to pay for.’
I laugh lightly to soften the mood.
‘Glad we’re not paying for it,’ my dad says under his breath. ‘Cost a bloody fortune these days.’
‘Anyway,’ I beam brightly. ‘I’d better be off. Just going to the local.’
‘OK, have fun, my love,’ my mum says. ‘Say bye, Paul.’
‘Bye, Paul,’ my dad jokes.
‘Miss you already, beautiful,’ Jack calls after me as I leave.
Howard is waiting for me at the bottom of the drive. As I walk towards him I glance back at the house. Luckily the blinds are closed. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong really, it’s just easier not to mention I’m going out with my ex.
‘Georgie, you look incredible,’ he says as I approach him. ‘Just… wow. I meant to tell you earlier. You’re looking really good. Very LA glamorous.’
I feel myself blush.
‘Thank you,’ I reply, taking his arm. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
The local is very local indeed – less than ten minutes’ walk from my house.
‘Oh, Sue just messaged me, she says they’ll meet us inside,’ I inform Howard. ‘I told them you were coming, and they’re excited about seeing you.’
My old friends are acting like Howard and I are rockstars, because we were two of a very small number of people born in this town to actually grow up and move away. Although, I suppose Howard is back now, and I might be, too, pretty soon. It’s like no one can ever truly leave. We’re all doomed to live out our days here, like there’s some kind of curse on us.
As we approach the Royal Oak, I hover for a second, trying to psych myself up to walk through the doors. I haven’t been here for a drink since I was eighteen, but it doesn’t seem to have changed a bit. As pubs go in this town, it’s not so bad. It’s been modernised in an attempt to appeal to the younger townsfolk, but it’s a far cry from a cocktail bar, where I’d much rather be. If I move back home, this will be my life. Working some boring job, coming here for a drink every night just to break the monotony of it all.
I place a shaky hand on the door and prepare to make my entrance.
‘You OK?’ Howard asks me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
‘Yeah, sorry,’ I laugh. ‘It’s just weird to be back.’
It’s busy inside – very busy. Busier than it used to be, so I suppose modernising works. It might look different, but it still feels like the same place to me. The atmosphere feels the same, the floor still feels sticky, and the way it smells is exactly the way I remember it smelling. Just that unique blend of beer and fried food that it’s always smelled of.
‘I’ll go grab us a drink,’ Howard says. ‘Usual?’
I laugh.
‘Yes, thank you.’
I push my way through the crowd until I hear a familiar voice.
‘Yo, Gigi.’ It’s Kaz, who I eventually spot sitting with Sue at a table by the window.
‘Hello, girls,’ I say, taking a seat on one of the strange school-dinner-style benches they have instead of chairs.
‘Whoa, stand the fuck back up,’ Kaz demands. I do as she says immediately, without giving it much thought. She’s always had a very intimidating way of talking, even though she doesn’t intend to. I think it’s just because she’s loud, with a strong Lancashire accent.
‘Look at those flashy shoes,’ she says, nudging Sue to have a look.
Sue looks me up and down as instructed, while I stand there like a mannequin.
‘Very nice,’ Sue tells me. ‘They look expensive.’
They’re definitely not.
‘Rich fiancé,’ Kaz reminds her, in a very matter-of-fact way.
Sue has a look in her eye – a look that tells me she’s about to erupt with questions about John/Jack and I’m really not ready for that.
‘I’m just going to grab a drink,’ I tell her, shutting her down before she can get started. All this is going to do is buy me a little time, but at least I’ll have a drink in my hand.
I get to the bar, just as Howard is turning around with two pints of Snakebite in his hands.
‘Oh wow,’ I say. ‘You really did get me my old usual.’
‘When was the last time you had one of these?’ Howard asks, handing one of the deep-purple pints over to me.
I sip it, and scrunch my face up at the taste. It’s horrible. I’m not even sure I liked it back then, to be honest. I think I just wanted to seem cool.
‘Probably the last time you bought me one,’ I laugh.
‘I’ll get you a Kapop next time,’ he laughs. ‘A sugary, watermelon-flavoured, vodka-based alcopop will take the taste away. Kaz and Sue driving you mad already?’
‘How can you tell?’ I ask.
‘Come on, I could always tell.’
As I head back over to their table, I feel strengthened by my former partner in crime.
‘I just get so sick of people walking up to me and asking me if I work there,’ I overhear Kaz say.
‘But you do work there,’ Sue reminds her. ‘It’s kind of your job to help customers.’
‘All right, H,’ Kaz says, raising her pint at him.
‘Hello, ladies,’ he replies. ‘Been a long time.’
‘We heard you’d been back a while,’ Sue says, her straw in her mouth as she speaks between sips. ‘Half expected to see you in here.’
‘I’ve been looking after my dad, he’s got a broken leg,’ Howard tells them, as though they didn’t know. Everyone knows everything about everyone in this town. ‘He’s managing a bit better now, though, which is just in time for me to participate in all the fun wedding activities.’
I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or polite, but the activities will most certainly not be fun.
‘I was just telling Sue about this difficult customer I had today,’ Kaz fills us in, before getting back on with her story. ‘We get some right fucking customers at Poundville.’
My super-foulmouthed friend started working at Poundville after she finished school. Kaz might complain about it, but I think she does enjoy working there. That said, her customer-service skills have always left a lot to be desired.
‘This short little ginger woman, probably in her fifties,’ Kaz explains. ‘She’d already pushed past me to grab a multipack of crisps. Anyway, I didn’t say anything, I just gave her a little Brightside Park sign language.’
Kaz makes a fist and moves her wrist from side to side, to show us just what she means.
You could be forgiven for thinking Brightside Park was a beautiful place, but it’s actually one of the roughest council estates in the area. This pub actually marks the point one should not pass, as far as my mother is concerned, because a minute down the road and you’re in Brightside.
Both Kaz and Sue are from the Brightside Park estate. I met them when we started at secondary school, unlike Fliss, Dougie and Howard, who have been in my friendship circle pretty much since we were born. Obviously, with Fliss being my cousin and Howard being my next-door neighbour, they’ve been around for my entire life. I remember when we were in reception, Howard told me every day he was going to marry me one day – how cute is that?
It wasn’t that my mum didn’t like them. She knew they were lovely girls and that they were good friends to me, but she would never let me go to their houses for tea. It drove me crazy at the time but I know she was only looking out for me. As I got older she relaxed a little, but I would still have to pretend I was going to sleepovers when I was actually going to house parties.
‘So, I’m working on the tills by the time this ginger woman has finished her shopping, and as I’m scanning her items I realise she’s got six mini cans of Sprite, and they’re seven for £1. So I go to her, “Love, we’ve got deals on, you should have picked seven up,” and she goes to me, “But I like Sprite.”’ Kaz laughs wildly. ‘The stupid cow only thought I was saying 7-Up.’
I can’t help but laugh.
‘Anyway, I’m training to be a beauty therapist now,’ she announces. ‘Gi, if I could do some treatments on you, that’d be great. Plus, I mean, eyebrows are in fashion, but less is more, y’know?’
I smooth one of my eyebrows self-consciously with my fingertips.
When we were at school, and Christina Aguilera barely-there eyebrows were the height of fashion, Kaz shaved hers off and started drawing them on. Not much has changed over the years, other than she’s having to go a little harder with the pencil now bigger brows are on trend.
I don’t know if it’s the drawn-on eyebrows, the sharply winged eyeliner or the fact her black hair is pulled into such a tight ponytail, but Kaz has such sharp facial features. Sue, on the other hand, is Kaz’s polar opposite. Whereas Kaz is tall, dark-haired and skinny, Sue is short and chubby with honey-blonde hair. She’s got that cuddly, mumsy look about her – probably because she’s a mum.
Sue is another one who’s still with her secondary-school boyfriend, which is kind of sweet really. She and Rob have two kids – a six-year-old boy and an eight-year-old girl… I think. I have no idea what their names are and not because I haven’t been told, I just always forget. I seem to remember finding them funny when I heard them, though.
‘How are your kids?’ I ask, hoping she mentions them by name.
‘Kids are kids,’ she tells me. ‘I seem to spend my days mopping up sick, slobber or shit.’
As she says this she notices something on her sleeve, a sort of dried, green crust, which she promptly scratches off.
‘So, how’s life in LA?’ Kaz asks.
‘It’s great,’ I lie. ‘Can’t complain.’
‘When do we get to meet this fiancé of yours?’ Sue asks.
‘You’ll definitely see him at the wedding. Maybe before, but Fliss has us doing so much pre-wedding stuff, we’ve got a full week ahead of us.’
‘We did wonder whether you’d made him up to make it seem like you were doing well,’ Kaz admits. ‘Has anyone actually seen him yet? Howard?’
‘I haven’t,’ he laughs. ‘But I did catch the back of his head as he went into her mum and dad’s place with Olly, so he definitely exists.’
‘I could do with a ciggy,’ Kaz announces, almost annoyed nothing scandalous is happening, like, say, me not really being engaged. ‘Coming, Sue?’
Sue nods and the pair disappear outside.
‘They’re harder work than they used to be,’ I laugh.
‘I’m sure they’re happy for you really,’ he insists. ‘I am.’
I smile as I give his shoulder a rub.
‘You doing OK?’
‘It’s just hard,’ he admits. ‘All the wedding talk is just reminding my constantly that I’m not getting married any more – I know it sounds stupid.’
‘It doesn’t sound stupid,’ I tell him. ‘I feel exactly the same way. Especially now I’m a bridesmaid. It’s hard when your fiancé cheats on you. You have this idea about how your life is going to play out and then one day the rug is pulled from under you. I totally get it.’
Howard pulls a very confused face, which quickly dissolves when realisation follows.
‘Your bloke cheated on you,’ he says.
‘What?’ I laugh nervously.
‘Georgie, I’m so sorry,’ he says, grabbing me and hugging me. ‘I can’t believe you’re still with the guy. What are you thinking?’
‘Look, it’s OK, it’s fine,’ I babble. ‘I know what I’m doing.’
Before Howard gets a chance to ask any more questions, Kaz and Sue return – just as Howard releases me from his arms.
‘Look what we found outside,’ Kaz says, giving Jack a nudge in my direction.
‘Jack,’ I squeak, feeling weirdly guilty because he’s caught me hugging Howard on a girls’ night out.
‘Hello,’ he says casually. ‘Your mom suggested I come join you. I made Dougie pretty mad at poker.’
‘Why?’ I ask.
‘Because I kept winning,’ he laughs. ‘Don’t worry, I insisted he keep the money that he insisted on putting down. I think that’s why he was so mad.’
‘Everyone, this is Jack,’ I begin the introductions. ‘Jack, this is Kaz and Sue, and this is Howard.’
The two men exchange hostile glances, Howard because he thinks Jack is the one who cheated on me, and Jack no doubt playing the clichéd part of jealous fiancé, meeting my ex for the first time.
‘Come here, princess,’ Jack says, pulling me up by the hand before wrapping his arms around me and planting a kiss on my neck.
‘Princess?’ Howard scoffs.
‘It’s an in joke, buddy,’ Jack points out.
‘I think it’s sweet,’ Sue says with a sigh. ‘You’ve done so well to land yourself such a sweet and obviously talented man.’
‘Fuck that,’ Kaz chimes in. ‘She’s done well to land herself such a fittie.’
Kaz, knowing no boundaries, gives one of Jack’s biceps a squeeze and Jack, loving female attention as usual, tenses it for her.
‘You’re like a fucking gladiator,’ she says.
‘The kind who fought in Roman times or the dumb beefcakes who hit each other with foam sticks?’ Howard asks, unable to hide his immediate dislike of Jack.
‘Either/or, mate – both are buff,’ Kaz points out. ‘You’re just jelly, because your puny arms can’t compete.’
‘Come on, Kaz, muscles aren’t the be all and end all,’ I say, jumping to Howard’s defence. Sticking up for the wrong man causes all kinds of funny looks from my friends, so I quickly backtrack, so as not to cause suspicion. ‘But, I mean, obviously, I dig it.’
I run a hand up and down Jack’s torso to illustrate my point, but as I feel my hand sweeping over the contours of his eight-pack, I can’t help but feel a little hot under the collar. I hate that he has any kind of effect on me, even if it is fleeting.
I clear my throat before I speak and pray I’m not blushing.
‘Anyway, we probably shouldn’t stay out too long, up early for dance lessons tomorrow, apparently,’ I babble.
As Kaz and Sue descend on Jack to make the most of him before we disappear, I find myself pushed to one side with Howard.
He looks so sad, I can’t help but feel for him. I know exactly what he’s going through – I’m going through the same. I hate that he’s feeling bad about himself because the girls are fawning over Jack. Sure, Jack is like your typical movie hunk. Muscular isn’t everyone’s type – it’s never been mine. Howard is just as handsome and sweet and funny as when we were younger, except now he’s even better because he’s a grown man with properly developed feelings. When you’re younger you don’t know if what you’re feeling is real, but now… Maybe I should have stayed here with Howard… Maybe he’s been the right person for me all along. Maybe what I need to do is win him back, and Jack is exactly the right person to help me do it.