Act Two

A slash (/) indicates that ACTOR 2 begins speaking at that point. The use of different type is intended to suggest text that is under (lower in volume than) ACTOR 2’s text.

ACTOR 1:

At 10:10 p.m. on January 16 of 1991, Prime Minister Brian Mulroney made the following speech to the House Of Commons:¹

Mr. Speaker, honourable members will know that military action began in the Persian Gulf today, / as announced at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

ACTOR 2:

Population of Iraq: 18 million.

Cost of one Tomahawk missile: $1.4 million US.²

President Bush called me beforehand to apprise me that he had authorized such action. We understand at the moment that the participants of this first wave included forces from the United States, The United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait.

Estimated number of Tomahawk ­missiles fired at Iraq during first 2 weeks of war: 240.³

ACTOR 1:

The fighting is a direct consequence of Saddam Hussein’s determination to maintain his brutal occupation and illegal annexation of Kuwait in defiance of world opinion. He has chosen to ignore the numerous opportunities that were open to him to withdraw. He has had 167 days / since his illegal and brutal invasion of Kuwait on August 2, and 48 full days since the United Nations Security Council passed resolution 678 on November 29 …

ACTOR 2:

Duration of Indonesian occupation of East Timor: 20 years.⁴

Number of UN sanctioned wars to liberate East Timor: 0.

Duration of Israeli occupation of West Bank: 28 years.

Number of UN sanctioned wars to liberate West Bank: 0.

Number of good Arabs in movie True Lies: 1.⁵

Estimated number of bad Arabs: 763,000.⁶

Lyrics to opening number from Walt Disney’s Aladdin: “Oh, I come from a land, from a faraway place where the caravan camels roam; where they cut off your ear if they don’t like your face. It’s barbaric but hey, it’s home.”⁷

ACTOR 1:

Diplomacy has been given every chance to end this conflict ­peacefully, but regrettably has failed in the face of Saddam Hussein’s intransigence.⁸ That same intransigence and his indifference to the suffering of his own people, especially the ­children, / made it clear that sanctions alone were not going to force him to leave Kuwait …

ACTOR 2:

Estimated number of Iraqi children under the age of 5 dead as a result of the war, in the year following ­cessation of bombing: 150,000.⁹

Number of babies in Kuwait City incubators killed by Iraqis: 0.¹⁰

We have joined with other UN ­members in expelling Saddam Hussein from Kuwait by force. At this moment our CF-18s are flying ­combat air patrol in the Northern Persian Gulf, / protecting Canadian and allied ships and personnel in the Gulf and the Arabian Peninsula …

Number of CF-18’s based in Persian Gulf: 24.¹¹

Cost to taxpayer to purchase one CF-18: $35 million.¹²

Percentage of Canadian defence budget spent on peacekeeping: less than 1.¹³

ACTOR 1:

I profoundly regret, as I am sure, do all members of this House, that it has come to this. It is with no satisfaction that we take up arms, because war is always a tragedy, / but the greater tragedy would have been for criminal aggression to go unchecked.

I am sure that the safety of the Canadian service men and women in the Gulf is uppermost in the minds of all members. Our hearts go out tonight to those ­families with loved ones, fathers or mothers, sons and daughters, and brothers and sisters, on duty in the Persian Gulf. These ­courageous men and women are braving great danger in the defence of the values and interests of their entire country. They have our gratitude and respect, and ­especially tonight our prayers …

ACTOR 2:

One thing Middle East and Somalia have in common: Western support for dictatorships.¹⁴

Another thing Middle East and Somalia have in common: Huge ­markets for Western arms.

One more thing Middle East and Somalia have in common: Oil.¹⁵

Estimated number of Iraqi soldiers killed during Gulf War: 100,000.¹⁶

Number of American soldiers killed: 144.

Number of these American soldiers killed by friendly fire: 60.

Preferred weapon for attacking dug-in troops and heavy fortifications: Fuel Air Explosives.

Research for Fuel Air Explosive ­probably carried out at: McGill University, University of Toronto, University of Ottawa, University of British Columbia.¹⁷

Example of Fuel Air Explosive: Big Blue 82. The Big Blue 82 is a 15,000 pound bomb which explodes in a massive fireball. The pressure effects of Fuel Air Explosives, such as a Big Blue 82, approach those produced by low-yield nuclear weapons.¹⁸ If one were dropped on the theatre right now … this entire ­neighbourhood? … poof.