Chapter Sixteen

VERONICA ROLLED BACK the door to the barn. Luna’s tack was on the rack by the crossties. White lines of dried sweat edged the saddle; stark evidence of how hard Elaine had pushed Luna on their ride. Several grooming brushes were scattered along the bench. She picked them up and replaced them in the grooming box and tidied the area around the crossties. She heard murmurings coming from Luna’s stall. She walked softly until she reached her stall. Elaine was standing next to Luna, her forehead resting on the horse’s shoulder. Her clothes were mud-splattered, her hair wild and tangled about her shoulders.

Turn around. Don’t intrude. Let her work it out. She’s hurting. Damn. I’d want someone to ask, to listen.

“Come to see how the mighty have fallen?” Elaine kept her back turned to Veronica.

“No. I came to see if a friend needed to talk. I’m sorry about Roxy.” Veronica took a step into the stall.

Elaine turned to her. “I don’t need your sympathy. And since when am I your friend?” She glared at Veronica.

“Wasn’t offering sympathy.” Veronica glared back. “And fine, but you sure look like you could use a friend.”

Elaine snorted. “You would be the first person to ever express that opinion.”

“Well, you don’t make it easy, but you’re still less intimidating than my former roommate, Tiny, so whatever.” Veronica tilted her head at Elaine and smiled. “Come on, even the hardest ass needs to soften up sometimes.”

Elaine laughed then, a genuine laugh. “Are you offering to soften my ass up?”

Veronica rubbed the back of her neck with her hand. “No. We’ve established that is not happening, but I’m happy to listen, if you want.” She met Elaine’s gaze. “I truly am sorry about Roxy leaving.”

Elaine shifted her gaze to the floor. “As am I.” She clenched her fists. “I can’t believe she…”

Veronica waited.

Elaine lifted her face to Veronica. “You have anything to drink in this barn?”

“Millie showed me the emergency supplies the first day I was here. Come on.”

Elaine latched Luna’s stall door and followed her down the aisle.

Veronica opened the door to the office, tugged open the bottom file cabinet drawer, extracted a bottle of Talisker and two squat glasses. Elaine threw herself on the sofa and draped her arm over her forehead. Veronica had to stifle a giggle at her theatrics as she poured two glasses of the whisky.

“Here.” She offered one to Elaine.

With an aggrieved sigh Elaine pushed herself to a sitting position and took the glass from Veronica. Her fingers were white where she gripped the tumbler as she tipped the glass back and took a large sip. Veronica studied the large irregular scar covering the back of her hand, the edges pink in contrast to the shiny white scar tissue. The scar flowed over her wrist and disappeared under the sleeve of her shirt.

Hell of a fire. That is some burn. Veronica sat on the opposite end of the battered sofa and tucked a leg under her as she turned to study Elaine.

Elaine pursed her lips. “I should have seen it coming. Roxy leaving.” She lowered her chin to her chest. “Do you know what she said?” Elaine took another sip of her whisky. “She said I wasn’t committed. Said I couldn’t commit to a chair let alone a person. Bitch.”

Veronica took a sip of her whisky, savoring the smooth sweetness and slight burn as she swallowed.

“She said…” Elaine took another big swallow of her whisky and emptied her glass. With an imperious nod of her head she indicated Veronica should refill it.

Veronica scrambled from the couch, grabbed the bottle off the desk, and refilled Elaine’s glass.

“Leave the bottle.”

Veronica placed the bottle on the floor next to Elaine’s muddy boots.

Elaine tilted the glass back and chugged it.

A waste of good whisky, but I’m not buying so whatever. Veronica balanced her drink on the arm of the couch.

Elaine picked up the bottle and refilled her glass. “She told me she never said anything about wanting to wear my collar or be exclusive.” She turned and faced Veronica. “She laughed when I asked her to stay, to wear my collar.” Elaine shook her head and blew out a ragged breath, her fury palpable in the small room. “Of all the… Do you know how many women have asked to pledge to me? To be mine alone?”

“Err, a lot?” Veronica took a small sip of her drink.

“So many I’ve lost track.” Elaine took another large swallow of her drink. Her face was red now, her eyes glassy, the whisky hitting her hard. “And do you know why I never agreed?”

Veronica stared at Elaine. “No.”

“Roxy. I thought she felt the way I did. That she wanted what we had together. I thought she wanted it, to be as free, as was I.” Her sad bitter tone was back now. “I’ve never wanted to be exclusive. I love the feeling of a new conquest or an old one revisited. Damn Martha and Lucia and Myfanwy, damn them and their happy little threesome. I never thought anyone could be happy in an exclusive arrangement. Until I saw them. Every damn day, so damn happy.” Elaine twisted and glared at Veronica, a snarl on her face. “Are you and Millie committed to each other?”

Veronica frowned at Elaine’s fierce expression. “We haven’t discussed it. But I think so.”

Elaine grabbed her hand. “Don’t take her for granted. Don’t take anything for granted.” She finished her glass of whisky. She let go of Veronica’s hand and stood. She swayed as she straightened.

Veronica rose and put a hand on Elaine’s shoulder to steady her. “Let me walk you back to the house.”

Elaine pursed her lips and shook off Veronica’s hand. “No need. I’m perfectly capable of making my way to the house.” She bent over and picked up the half-empty Talikser bottle, took a step, and stumbled.

Veronica caught her before she fell. She ignored Elaine’s moue of disappointment as she took the bottle from her hand and placed it on the desk. She slung Elaine’s arm over her neck and grasped her wrist to keep it there. “What is it with everyone here drinking themselves silly when they’re upset? Why?”

Elaine wrapped her arm around Veronica’s waist and pressed into her. “Good whisky. It’s like mother’s milk here.” She giggled and slid her hand down and squeezed Veronica’s ass. “Is this what friends do? I don’t think I’ve ever been this kind of friend with someone.”

Veronica could not stop her eye roll as she moved Elaine’s hand from her ass to her hip. “No. None of that. Or I’ll leave you where you fall. Did you eat anything today?”

“Nope. Did you?” Elaine patted Veronica’s belly and giggled again. “You’re very nice.”

Veronica snorted and let Elaine lean on her as they navigated the office door and then the yard to the kitchen.

 

“MYFANWY!” VERONICA JOGGED across the gravel yard to catch up to Myfanwy.

Myfanwy rested one hand on her hip. A small basket dangled from the other. “I don’t have time to chat. I’m on my way to gather the herbs I need for dinner.”

“I’ll go with you and help.”

Myfanwy held out the basket she was carrying to Veronica. They walked in silence for a few moments. Myfanwy touched Veronica’s hand, drawing her attention. “I’m guessing you didn’t randomly decide you needed to help me gather herbs?”

Veronica avoided Myfanwy’s eyes. “No. I wanted to ask you about Millie.”

Myfanwy stopped and stared at Veronica, her gaze piercing. “She’s my best friend. I won’t betray her confidence. If there’s something you want to know, ask her.”

She made to take the basket back and Veronica held it out of her reach. The sudden flare of anger on Myfanwy’s face made her remember the photo she had seen of her. “I know. I don’t want you to betray her. But you know her better than anyone. I need your advice.”

Myfanwy huffed out a breath, opened her mouth as if to say something, and then shut it. She turned and walked toward the herb garden and greenhouse, and Veronica followed.

Myfanwy picked up a pair of scissors from the potting bench. “So?” She walked along the garden pavers until she reached a sprawling rosemary plant. She bent and clipped a few dark green sprigs, and the bright scent of the herb filled the air.

Veronica held the basket out and she deposited the bundle of herbs on the cloth inside. “I saw a photo of a pregnant woman in Millie’s apartment.”

Myfanwy moved along the row and stopped in front of a savory plant. She plucked a few dead leaves off and then snipped four short branches. “And what is your question?” Her voice still held some of the frost from earlier.

“Who was she?” Veronica wiped a sweaty hand on her pants.

Myfanwy pushed her hair back with her hand. “Did you ask Millie?”

Veronica flushed. “I’m afraid to. Whenever I ask her anything about her past she stonewalls. Please tell me. I’m desperate to know.”

Myfanwy’s expression softened. “You love her.” A statement, not a question, a firm acknowledgement of Veronica’s feeling for Millie.

“I do. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“The woman in the photo, Maia…” Myfanwy’s voice was quiet, and Veronica moved closer to hear her. “She and Millie were together for eight years. They had a baby.” Myfanwy’s voice grew hoarse. “A boy, Nathanial. Maia’s family kicked her out when she started dating Millie. They found out about the baby and hired a private investigator. She dug around in Millie’s past. She’d never told Maia about it. Maia left her. Millie was cut from the Black Ferns. Maia’s family was able to convince a judge Millie was a risk to the child’s welfare.” Myfanwy’s voice wobbled. “They took the child from Maia even though she had broken up with Millie. Maia was so…” Myfanwy turned her face to the sky and swallowed visibly. She brought her gaze back to Veronica’s face, her eyes wet with tears. “Maia ended her life.”

Veronica’s stomach tightened, and she swallowed around the bile in her throat. She sat down hard on the ground and leaned her head on her knees. “My poor Millie.” Her heart ached thinking about the pain Millie had suffered, losing her partner and child.

Myfanwy lowered herself to her knees. She reached out and grabbed Veronica’s hand so hard it hurt. “Don’t break her heart, don’t break your own.”

 

“HI, DAD.” VERONICA thumbed her phone to speaker.

“Hi, baby mine.” Her dad’s voice filled her room. “How are you? When’re you getting here for Violet’s wedding?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to look at tickets later today and I’ll let you know.”

“Have you been practicing?” Her mom’s voice made her smile.

“Yes, Mom. Has Larry?”

“He’ll be ready.”

“Hey, um, I might bring someone with me.” Veronica twisted the hem of her shirt in her hands.

“Oh?” Her mom’s voice was loud like she had moved closer to the phone.

“Yes. Millie.”

“Okay.” Her mom’s voice was neutral. “Where did you meet her?”

“How long have you been seeing her? Will you need us to make up the guest room? Or will she stay in your room?” Her dad failed to hide the hope in his voice.

“Easy, Dad. For a while, and if I can convince her to come with me, she’ll stay in my room. She works with me, Mom.”

“Why haven’t you mentioned her before? And why doesn’t she want to come with you?” Her mother’s voice was sharp.

“I don’t know, Mom. I should’ve. She’s worried about meeting you.”

“Why?” Her dad’s voice was soft in contrast to her mother’s strident voice.

“She’s like me, uh, she’s been to—prison too. She’s worried you’ll judge her.” Might as well get it out there. Never hidden anything from them before. Why start now?

“Why would she think that? What have you told her she’d think that of us?” The pain in her mom’s voice undid Veronica.

Veronica swallowed on a dry throat. “I told her how great you guys are, Mom, how you stood by me. But she’s wary. She had a horrible experience with an ex’s family.”

“How horrible?”

“She lost her partner and their baby. The woman’s family got a judge to take their baby away from them because Millie was convicted of manslaughter.”

“Manslaughter? What happened? Was she driving drunk?” Her father’s voice, full of censure, had Veronica scrambling to explain.

“No, Dad, no. Her mom’s boyfriend was beating her mother and Millie stepped in to protect her.”

“Do we need to talk to her? Maybe Skype with both of you?” Her mother’s voice was softer now. “What do you need us to do?”

“I don’t know. I asked her to the wedding, and she turned me down. She’s special, Mom. More than Dee ever was.” Veronica swiped at the few tears she wasn’t able to swallow.

“If you care about her, don’t give up, baby. Talk to her again. We’ll do whatever you need us to do.” Her dad’s voice was steady and reassuring.

“Thanks. Love you guys.”

“Love you too, baby mine. Let us know what she says.” Her father disconnected the call, and Veronica lay back on the bed and closed her eyes. Now to talk to Millie. She has to go with me. Has to believe in me. Us. Please let her believe in us.