UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
HarperCollins Publishers
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At the hole-in-the-wall, incredibly adorable restaurant that Leo picked for dinner, we rehashed every detail of our day. I tried to let everything sink in, but a part of me still couldn’t believe this was happening. I couldn’t stop thinking about our kiss. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Leo’s mouth had opened against mine, the way his breathing got just a little heavier as we moved to fit into each other’s curves. And even though I hadn’t thought about school yet that entire day, I suddenly wondered what it was going to be like at Harrison on Monday. Were we going to pretend like nothing had happened this weekend? Or were we going to act like we were seeing each other? Were we seeing each other?
Leo seemed almost as nervous as me: It was like the confident Leo I’d gotten used to was gone. We were quiet for a few moments, spreading butter onto warm pieces of bread. When Leo looked up at me, I thought he was going to say something serious. But then he asked, “So does your uncle the principal wear a toupee?”
I giggled. “That’s actually his real hair.”
“Really?” Leo asked, shaking his head. “That’s some seriously funky hair.”
We laughed, and then Leo glanced down at the hand-printed menu. There were only twelve tables in the entire restaurant. Two waiters wearing flannel shirts moved silently, filling water glasses and announcing the specials with lilting French accents. A twenty-something girl with dark flowing hair DJ’d at a booth in the corner, and the air smelled sweet, like dessert.
“Do you speak French?” Leo asked as we read over the list of food. There were no translations on the menu.
I shook my head. “If you ask Mrs. Betts, I barely speak English.”
“I have her, too,” Leo said, laughing, “and she doesn’t like me, either. And what’s up with the amount of reading she assigns? Does she do that for the seniors, too? I couldn’t even do it if I was trying.”
“I thought Trogs always tried in school,” I said.
Leo shrugged. “Maybe in some subjects,” he said. He busied himself in the bread basket and I looked down at my menu.
“I’m gonna guess that soupe means soup,” I said, pointing to the page.
“And champagne means champagne,” Leo said, smiling as he looked over the wine and beer list. “I’m not going to drink,” he said, tapping the keys in his pocket like that was the only reason, like it wouldn’t be a big deal to show a fake ID if he got carded. It made me wonder what his life was like back in California. Did he go out to eat all the time and drink wine whenever he felt like it? “But do you want something?” he asked.
I shook my head. I wanted to remember everything about tonight. “Just a Coke.”
“You’re as wild as everyone’s told me,” Leo said.
I pointed my bread at him. “No more of that. No more listening to what other people say about me. Clean slate, remember?”
“Fair enough,” Leo said, and then the waiter came and took our order.
When he left, I leaned back in my seat and stared out the window at the cars zooming past and the people strolling the street.
“Maybe you’ll get picked for the reality show and then you’ll get your chance to go to LA,” Leo said, taking a sip of his water.
I smiled. “There are thousands of girls to chose from. Though I appreciate your vote of confidence.”
“You never know,” Leo said. He traced the jagged edge of his knife with his index finger. “You said before that you’d want it.” He looked up at me. “But are you sure you mean that? You know how reality TV is, how they cut and edit to make people look a certain way. It’s not exactly flattering most of the time.” He held my glance like he was trying to tell me something important.
He was probably right. But we were playing make-believe anyway, and it wasn’t like he could grant my wish, so instead of agreeing with him, I said, “Yeah, but like you said, I’d get to see what Hollywood is really like. So yeah, I’d do it.” I met Leo’s gaze. “I’d want it.”
He glanced away from me. “If that’s what you really want,” he said.
That night, on the drive home under an inky, cloudless sky full of stars, I wondered if everything that had happened today was too good to be true. I’d never felt like this before—not even about Xander in the beginning. I felt like I had something special, something all my own, something that could take me away from my regular life and the pain I sometimes felt living it. I felt like I had someone who could help me change, and who could take away the fear of what that change meant. And maybe it was just one day, and maybe I was getting my hopes up way too far, but if I just wanted it enough, maybe it could be true.
Leo and I were quiet for most of the ride back to South Bend. There were so many things I wanted to ask him, so many things I wanted to know about him, but I reminded myself that we had time. I didn’t need everything answered tonight.
In front of my house, Leo turned off the ignition. He walked me to the front door, and everything felt different standing there with him. I didn’t have the scared feeling I usually felt when I was standing outside of our house, wondering what was waiting for me inside.
Leo leaned forward and his lips brushed mine gently, but then he pulled back. I’d had guys try to kiss me—really kiss me—on the front step before. But it was like Leo knew I’d be too nervous to kiss so close to my house. Instead, he gestured toward my bag. “Can I put my number in your phone?” he asked, looking sheepish and flushed even in the darkness.
I nodded, too happy to say anything as I handed it over. Leo started typing, and then the phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen. “Nic’s your sister, right?” he asked as he passed it back.
Can you come to campus? I need you.
I stared at the text, rereading it to make sure I was seeing it right. I hadn’t heard from Nic since yesterday afternoon, when she chewed me out over text about Sara Oaks.
Nerves filled me as my fingers tapped the screen.
I’ll be there.
“Everything okay?” Leo asked.
I put my phone into my pocket. “I don’t know,” I said.
Leo nodded and took my hand. The last thing I wanted was to cut our date short, but there wasn’t another option. Nic hadn’t needed me in a very long time. I couldn’t imagine what it was about.
“I need to go,” I said to Leo.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “I should go by myself. My sister needs me.” Pride crept into the words as I said them. There used to be a time when all we needed was each other, and I remembered how good it felt. “And I still have a few hours before my curfew,” I told Leo. “I’ll text my dad where I’m going so he doesn’t think I’m out late with you.”
“I’m not afraid of your dad,” Leo said.
“Oh,” I said. Really? “That must be nice.”
Leo smiled at first, but then his face got serious. “You’re the one who scares me,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, my voice gentle.
Leo’s eyes went down to the stone porch, and when he looked back at me, I read real concern playing on his face, something I’d never seen there before. “Leo,” I said softly.
He took a long breath, and then he said, “I’m worried you’ll get to know more about me, and maybe you won’t like what you find out.”
“Do you know the things I’ve done?” I asked, squeezing his hands. “Do you know how I got my reputation?” I tried to smile to make him feel better, but nothing felt very funny.
“But this is different,” Leo said. “I—”
I kissed him. I didn’t need to know—not right then, not that night, and not after the most perfect day of my entire life. What I needed was Leo, no matter what stupid computer things he’d done three years ago.
Our lips were warm pressed together as the night air swirled around us. Leo’s mouth was hungry on mine, and I felt the unmistakable tug of my feelings for him making me want to be even closer, making me forget every reason I had to hold back. His hands went into my hair and I felt lost in the kiss, like there was nothing else that mattered.
“Blake,” Leo said against my lips. He pulled away, but left his hands in my hair. “I didn’t expect today to be so . . .”
My palms were pressed against his chest, and I watched as he looked away, nervous. “Perfect,” I said softly. “Me neither.” The wind howled through the trees, catching the leaves and making them dance. “And I want to stay with you,” I said, letting my arms fall to my side, trying to find the willpower to pull away. “But I have to go to Nic.”
Leo nodded, and I could tell he understood.
“You’ll call if you need me?” he asked.
“I promise,” I said. And then I squeezed his hand and made my way to my car. I watched in the rearview mirror as Leo backed down the driveway. Moonlight caught his hair as he sped down the street, and I had the distinct feeling that everything—including me—had changed.