Max wrapped his hands around the hot coffee mug. It gave him something to do while the boys mixed right in with the Bergmann clan as if they’d always been a part of a big family. He, on the other hand, was having a hard time breathing. His shirt was getting tighter around his neck. Ethan had ended up going with the other teens to hang out.
What had he been thinking? He couldn’t let her talk him into working on those old buildings. She was going to get hurt, and it would be his fault.
He checked his watch. Another hour and he was picking up Ethan. Mr. Bergmann had given him a few hostile glares, but the rest of the Bergmanns didn’t seem to mind having a few Delgados in their home.
Jackie laughed as she tried to untangle a strand of lights, the colors reflecting on her face. His brothers joined the three girls around the tree as they passed the Christmas lights around and back to Jackie. “Now the ornaments. The biggest ones on the bottom.”
Tomas ran over to Max. “Look at this one. It’s a cowboy like you. I want to put it up high. Can you help me?”
They weren’t going to let him sulk in the corner. He ruffled Tomas’s hair. “Sure.” He picked him up with his good arm, but it still pulled on the broken collarbone. Careful of his brother’s broken arm, he walked to the tree. “Where do you want him?”
Tomas looked at Jackie. “Here?”
“Right next to the angel? Looks like a perfect place for the cowboy.”
Tomas’s tongue stuck out as he leaned in and carefully hooked the ornament on the branch.
Isaac was helping the girls tie bows around the branches.
“It looks great, guys.” Jackie clapped.
All four Bergmann sisters started singing along with the song playing. Their smiles and glances at each other made him even more aware of the family connection he and his brothers were missing.
“I’ll Be Home for Christmas” moved him in a way no Christmas song ever had. Tonight, the song gave him a knot in his throat. He’d never had a home to return to. Would this make it worse for the boys when it was time for him to return to the road?
Danica clapped her hands. “Everyone ready for a story?” She picked up a picture book from a stack on the coffee table. “Come on, everyone, you can sit around the tree. Daddy, are you ready?”
Mr. Bergmann stood and handed a book to one of his sons-in-law. “I think Reid should read it this year.”
There was a sudden hush in the room, and everyone seemed to hold their breath.
The other man’s eyes flashed with surprise. “Really?”
Jackie put her hand to her chest. Max leaned down. “I take it this is a big deal?”
She nodded, and her hand went to his arm. “Daddy always reads the story on the first night. Always.” It looked like she might start crying. Max shifted his weight and put a hand on hers. He took a slow sip of his coffee. He needed to keep it casual, even though he felt anything but.
One of her nieces ran over to them and grabbed her aunt’s free hand. “Come on, Aunt Jackie, Daddy gets to read the story tonight.”
Jackie moved away from him and joined the kids on the floor. Reid sat in a large overstuffed chair, his wife nestled next to him. He was flipping through the pages of a picture book. One of their daughters climbed into her mother’s lap. The other one sat in Jackie’s crossed legs. Tomas sat down next to them and she smiled and pulled him closer. Isaac was on Jackie’s other side, with Mia, Nikki’s stepdaughter, next to her father. It was a Christmas scene right out of a Norman Rockwell painting. His holidays were always more along the lines of The Scream.
Tomas smiled uncertainly up at Jackie and she kissed the top of his disheveled hair. Max understood the desire to sit next to her. She had a warmth about her that drew him in. It made him feel that everything would be okay if he could just stay near her. If he could make her smile and hear her laugh.
Reid’s baritone voice started reciting the first Christmas story, with angels proclaiming the news and wise men seeking the Christ Child.
Max sat his cup down and looked for an exit. He needed fresh air. When he slipped out the back, the cold wind hit him in the face.
He walked to the end of the small porch and leaned one hip on the railing. Would he ever be able to give the boys these kinds of family traditions?
The door eased open. He turned, expecting Jackie.
It wasn’t Jackie, but her father. “Max.”
He had a feeling he was about to get a lecture.
“Mr. Bergmann.” Max studied the moon hanging low over the horizon. No stars out tonight.
Silence hung between them for a while. Then the older man cleared his throat. “Why are you here?”
Why was he here, at the Bergmann home? His brain was a tangled mess, so he decided to misunderstand the question. “My uncle wants to sell the ranch and get it off our books. I thought it would be a good time to get to know my brothers before we go our separate ways.”
“Why are you hanging out with my daughter again?”
“She’s the one that came charging out to the ranch before the sun had even set on my first day back in town. Your family keeps including my brothers in your holiday stuff. I’d planned to clean up the ranch and leave without seeing anyone in Clear Water.”
“Leaving is something your family is good at. You could have said no when you were invited to dinner.”
Max looked down at his boots. “You’re right. I could have, but I’m glad I didn’t. My brothers needed this. So, thank you for giving them something I couldn’t.”
“Your uncle is really going to sell the place without ever stepping foot in Clear Water again? You’ll be gone soon?”
“That’s the plan.” This whole conversation wasn’t sitting well with him. Like he wasn’t good enough to breathe the same air as the folks of Clear Water. As Jackie.
“My daughters are very open, loving people. They aren’t always smart with their hearts.”
“Nikki and Danica seem happy.”
He snorted. “After years of heartbreak that I couldn’t fix.” Mr. Bergmann took a step closer to the railing. “The Delgados have given nothing to Clear Water.” Hard eyes stared at Max. “You have a way of using people, then discarding them.”
“I’ve never used anyone here.”
Mr. Bergmann shook his head and looked over the hills. “That’s all you’ve done for generations. Your grandfathers, your father and your uncle. You all leave people behind once you’ve got what you wanted. I’m the one that stepped in and helped Joaquin when his father abandoned him and his mother.”
Okay, that was from out of nowhere. “What does that have to do with my family?” But after hearing bits of conversations and catching telling glances, he was starting to worry he had more family here than his brothers. What had his father done?
“You really don’t know?”
“Maybe if you told me what we were talking about I could join the conversation.” His stomach churned, rebelling against the coffee.
“Joaquin is your uncle’s son. I won’t call him a Delgado because he’s loyal and hardworking. He stayed and took care of his mother when most people would have walked away. Your uncle walked away, right back to his wife.” Disgust dripped from each word.
Max’s thoughts reeled. He gripped the banister. That’s why the kid looked familiar. Not because of the rodeo, but because he looked like a Delgado. “Does my uncle know?” As messed up as his family was, he couldn’t imagine Rigo purposefully denying a son. Even though his father had never been there for him emotionally, he’d always made sure Max had what he needed.
“Everyone knows.”
“How old is he?” Max was getting a sick feeling in his gut.
“Twenty-two.”
That gave him a headache. Max turned and leaned back on the railing, considering the house. The perfect image of a family gathered around the hearth. “Rigo’s daughters are twenty-four and twenty-one.” Did his aunt know? What was he going to do with this information?
His phone alarm went off. “I need to go pick up Ethan.” Perfect timing for him to get out of this conversation. More wrongs heaped on the Delgado name. Everyone had a reason to hate his family, and he was tired of being on the defensive. As he went in to get the boys, he felt like a coward, but what else could he do? Call his uncle? Tell Joaquin that he was sorry his family had deserted him?
Everyone looked up at him as he walked into the room. “It’s time to leave, boys.”
Isaac shook his head. “But he’s going to read another story.”
He didn’t blame the boys for wanting to be with the Bergmanns instead of going with him. “No, we’ve imposed enough.”
“What does ‘imposed’ mean?” Tomas’s forehead wrinkled.
“Um…” He’d never had to explain himself before. “Taking advantage of someone’s kindness.”
Tomas frowned.
Danica laughed. “You are not imposing, Tomas.”
“We have to get Ethan.”
Jackie stood, holding her nieces’ hands. For a moment, she studied him like she was trying to see past his skin. “They could stay. You could join us for breakfast in the morning when you pick them up. We could talk about the buildings.”
Mr. Bergmann walked into the room. “The buildings still? I thought you said they weren’t giving them up to the city.”
“His uncle said no to moving the buildings in to town, but I worked out a deal with Max.”
He was about to correct her, but her father’s gaze pinned him to the wall. Even though he spoke to Jackie, he stared down Max. “You did, did you? Is that wise?”
“We can work on them right in their original location. It’ll save money and time. We can reopen the old entrance that runs between our properties, creating direct access from the highway. It’s even better than my first plan.”
Her father didn’t look like he agreed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be out at the ranch alone.”
“I wouldn’t be alone. Max will be…” Her lips tightened. “Really, Daddy? I’m a grown woman. I can handle myself.”
“I just don’t want to see another one of my daughters get hurt.”
Anger flashed in Jackie’s green eyes.
Danica moved to stand next to her sister. “Daddy, maybe we can talk about this later.”
Mr. Bergmann glanced at the children. “Come on, Sammi. I’m going home. I’ll see y’all tomorrow at the store.”
Max waved the boys over to him. “Time to go.” He looked at Danica, not wanting to make eye contact with Jackie. “Thank you for including us in today’s events. It was fun. Right, boys?”
They both nodded. “Thank you for inviting us.” Isaac spoke for his brother.
“Are you going to come Saturday?” one of the girls asked.
Max hesitated. He was sure he didn’t want to know. “What’s Saturday?”
The other little redhead nodded. “It’s even more fun than decorating this tree.”
Tomas looked at Isaac, then they both turned to Max. He sighed. “Okay, I’ll bite. What is going on Saturday?”
Jackie smiled at the boys. “All the businesses basically have a street party, and we decorate the whole town for our Christmas market days and parade.”
“And we can come?” The boys looked as if they were being given the keys to the Magic Kingdom.
She nodded. “Yeah, it’s open to everyone.” She looked Max square in the eye. “You should join us in the morning.”
“Please, Max, please.”
Why did they keep inviting the boys? “I don’t know. We have to clean the house so that it’s livable. There is a lot of dust and critters to move out. We don’t have time.”
Their faces fell. Why did he have to be the bad guy?
Jackie put a hand on each of their shoulders but looked up at him. “How about I come help you tomorrow, Max? We’ll trounce those squatters and reclaim the Delgado rule.”
The boys giggled. She brought light to the darkest places. Unfortunately, he had learned that it was safer to avoid the light.
Those green eyes trapped him. He couldn’t look away even though he knew he should. Now she was talking directly to him. Listening was probably a good idea.
“—and you can tackle the area with Ethan. After that’s all done we can go look at the buildings. The first steps of our deal.” She turned back to the boys. “Then on Saturday, I can take you into town, so your brother can do whatever he needs to.” She smiled, obviously pleased with herself. “See—a win all the way around.”
Tomas twisted and looked up at him. “Can we, Max?”
“I don’t need a maid.” Now he was sounding grumpy. “We can take care of the house.”
Jackie put her hands on her hips. “And fix the arena? And practice on those bulls?”
Danica laughed. “Organizing is her happy zone. You would be doing her a favor.”
“Yes!” She glowed with victory. “The house and arena tomorrow, then decorating the town on Saturday.”
“No. I can’t promise—”
She cut him off. “I know. I know your uncle might swoop in and take the buildings. But if I have any chance of having those buildings ready for Christmas, I already told you that it’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Okay, then. Count us in.”
The boys threw their arms around him. This was getting complicated. He had a simple life, and he wanted to keep it that way.
* * *
Jackie stood on the porch and watched the truck pull out of her father’s driveway. Danica slipped out the door and gently closed the screen. She nudged her sister’s shoulder.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jackie watched the taillights disappear into the darkness. A coldness gripped her, one that had nothing to do with the wind.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the sadness and longing I see in your eyes whenever you look at Max?”
“His life is sad. Longing? Pfft. That’s your imagination. Just because you and Nikki are all settled and growing your families doesn’t mean I feel left behind.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Wrapping her arm around Jackie’s biceps, Danica pulled her closer. “Is that the longing I see? I thought it was the remains of your teenage love. I know how powerful that can be.”
“I need to talk to Daddy.” Jackie turned toward the door, but Danica kept hold of her arm.
“You know you have my support in whatever you decide to do. If you need to cry, vent or just talk it through, I’m here. Please don’t feel like you have to keep it all inside. I’ve been there and it’ll just burn a hole through your heart. Got it?”
“Yeah. Thanks. But really, I’m fine. He’ll be gone soon, and I’m closer to getting the buildings than ever before. That’s what I want. And more nieces to spoil. A nephew would be nice, too. Seems I’ve grown fond of being around boys.” Before her sister could look too far into her heart, Jackie fled. Straight to her father’s house.
He was upset, and she needed to reassure him that she was okay. He had to trust that she was smart enough to do this without getting her heart involved. Maybe if she could convince him, it would become the truth.