Ashley rushed down the back stairs at seven the next morning, clad in her pink and white flannel robe and slippers. “Cal, have you seen my black dress?”
Cal tore his gaze from her cleavage visible in the V of the shawl collar. No doubt about it, Ashley’s body was a hell of a lot more voluptuous than it had been five pounds ago. Not that he’d had opportunity to investigate the changes for himself, as she had refused to let him her see her in any form of undress since they’d reunited a week ago.
“Cal!” Ashley said again, even more impatiently this time.
Cal struggled to recall what the question had been. With little result. “Um…”
Ashley came closer, until she was standing right next to him. She smelled of soap and shampoo and the orange blossom perfume she wore. And unless he was wrong, she didn’t have much of anything on under that calf-length robe, definitely not a bra.
“It’s the kind of stretchy one,” Ashley continued jogging his memory deliberately. “I wore it the first night back when we went over to your Mom’s to see the family. I can’t find it anywhere.”
And with good reason, Cal thought, since it was currently with the dressmaker, who was making the dress Ashley would wear when they renewed their wedding vows. Stalling for time, he gave the scrambled eggs another stir. “Did you check the wash?”
Noting breakfast was almost ready, Ashley went to the fridge and brought out the milk, butter and jam. Her arms full, she shut the door with her hip. Watching her lower half in action made him want to groan. He was still aroused from their extended kissing session the evening before. But a promise was a promise, and he had sworn he would demonstrate to her there was a lot more to their relationship than simply sex.
“I didn’t put it in the wash.” Ashley popped slices of whole grain bread into the four-slice toaster they’d gotten years ago, as a wedding gift.
Cal shrugged, as he cut a grapefruit in half and put the halves on plates. “Well then it probably wouldn’t be there.”
Scowling, Ashley sat down at the table while he dished up the eggs and sat down opposite her. “I wanted to wear it today.”
“Well…” Cal tried to think of a way to get her off the subject, as he pointed to the small TV mounted under one of the cabinets. It was tuned to a morning news show, and the local weather map was on the screen. “You should probably wear slacks anyway. If the snow that they’ve predicted hits later this afternoon, you’re not going to be want to be caught in a dress, anyway.”
Not to be dissuaded, Ashley continued, “And I can’t find my favorite black bra and black satin panties either.”
Cal had done laundry once since she’d been back. So had she. “Maybe they’re with the dress?” he said, struck by how pretty she looked this morning—her golden skin glowing with health, her cheeks flushed a becoming peach.
Ashley added a tiny bit of butter and a generous amount of blackberry jam to her toast. “I can’t believe this!”
Neither could Cal. Had he realized she was likely to want her dress and that particular set of undies, he would have picked those items up by now. “They’re probably somewhere. You’re just not seeing them. Or you put them somewhere and you don’t remember,” he fibbed.
Leaning back in her chair, Ashley regarded him humorously. “Are you hinting I’m losing my mind?”
“No.” But he was going to lose his soon, if he didn’t get to make love with her again in the very near future.
Wordlessly, Cal offered her coffee. She declined with a shake of her head and continued to sip her milk.
“I am, however, saying you have had an awful lot on your mind lately, what with helping out Carlotta this week, fielding visits with both our families and trying to figure out where you’re going to look for a job.”
The laughter left Ashley’s china-blue eyes as suddenly as it had appeared. “That at least I know,” she told him quietly. “I’m looking for a position right here in central North Carolina and I don’t care if it’s a high-powered job or something distinctly low-key. I just want to take care of pregnant women and their babies. And that, Cal, is why I wanted my black dress. I wanted to go see the med-center administrator and talk to him about the possibility of me joining the staff at the hospital right here in Holly Springs.”
Cal struggled not to let his own selfish needs take control. “That would be terrific,” he told her just as seriously. Forcing himself to be as supportive of her professional goals as she deserved, he continued, “But are you sure you don’t want to follow up on the lead your mother gave you for an academic posting?”
Years from now, he didn’t want her looking back with regret, or blaming him for any dreams not realized. Because that would be just as detrimental to their relationship as his refusing to support her now.
“I’m certain.” Ashley leaned across the table to take his hand and squeeze it affectionately. “I may not have had my priorities straight before this, but I do now,” she told him, looking deep into his eyes. “And you, Cal, and the—”
“And what?” he said when she stopped in mid-sentence. He studied the stricken expression on her face.
“And our life together,” Ashley finished, flushing self-consciously as she squeezed his hand again and smiled, “come first.”
ASHLEY COULDN’T BELIEVE she had almost spilled the beans like that. Part of it was due to the intimacy she was feeling with Cal, since their mutual confessions last night. Knowing he had missed her as much as she had missed him had given her hope that, with a little more time and continued effort, they could make their marriage everything they had once wanted it to be.
And to that end, black dress or no, she had things she wanted to accomplish that morning. Starting with a talk with the hospital administrator in charge of physician recruitment.
Unfortunately, the situation wasn’t as positive as Ashley had hoped it would be.
“We’re all set with the number of OB’s we need right now,” Frank Hodges told her. “But I’ll talk to the board anyway, see if there isn’t something we can do, because we’d love to have someone with your background and training on our staff. In the meantime, I’ll make some calls for you, find out which hospitals in the area need an obstetrician,” he said. “I’ll get back to you on that as well.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate it,” Ashley said.
“Bummer,” Carlotta said, when Ashley filled her in over lunch in Carlotta’s private office. “I was hoping they’d have room for you so I could ask you to join my practice.”
That would have been easy. Nice, too, because she and Carlotta worked together so well. “Something will come up,” Ashley said confidently. She would see to it. Even if the position she ended up with did not please her parents.
“How are you feeling?” Carlotta asked, as the two of them worked on their turkey sandwiches.
“Pretty good, actually.”
“How’s the morning sickness?”
Ashley made a seesawing motion with her hand. “Comes and goes. Cherry Life Savers seem to help.”
Carlotta grinned, commiserating with a shake of her head. “For me it was lemon-flavored water. If I could take a sip or two of that, I was usually okay.”
“How are things on the home front?” Ashley asked. The usually immaculately put-together Carlotta had a jelly stain on her slacks, and instead of the navy flats she should have been wearing with her outfit, she had on black. “Any word on when Nanny Beatrice is coming back?”
“Another ten days. Minimum.” Carlotta sighed. A troubled look crossed her face. “Mateo and I are trying our best, but according to the kids, we’re just not cutting it. It’s almost like she’s the parent and we’re the stand-ins.”
“Surely—”
“No. It’s true.” Carlotta speared a baby spinach leaf and twirled it around and around on her fork. “And it makes sense, if you think about it.” She glanced over at Ashley, sadness reflected in her dark eyes. “Beatrice cared for Juan from the time he was born. Of course she was just a sitter then; he stayed with her while I was in undergrad classes. It wasn’t until Elizabetta was born that Beatrice actually moved in with us. And she was a member of the family by the time Lorenzo came along. The simple truth is that our medical practices are so demanding the kids have spent more time with Beatrice than they have with either of us.”
Ashley could easily imagine the same thing happening to her and Cal. “Do you regret that?”
“I don’t know.” Carlotta gazed at the picture of her kids on her desk. “I’m beginning to think I have missed out on more than I ever knew.”
CARLOTTA’S WORDS stayed with Ashley the rest of the day, as she saw patients at the office, and even when she stopped at the grocery on the way home along with everyone else in town to stock up on essentials before the snowstorm hit.
The only problem was there was no milk on the shelves. None. When she asked one of the teenage stock clerks if they could bring out more from the back, he just laughed. “We haven’t had any since noon and we’re not going to get any more until after the snowstorm.”
Ashley supposed there were other ways to get the calcium requirement the baby needed. “When exactly is the storm supposed to get here?” Ashley asked. “Have you heard?”
He pointed to the storefront windows. “Lady, it’s here now.”
Ashley looked. Sure enough, there was snow coming down in big, fat wet flakes. She wished she had paid more attention to the weather report that morning, and probably would have, had she not been looking high and low for her black knit dress. “How much is predicted?”
“Radio said a little while ago eight, maybe ten inches.”
Yeow. Which meant they could get snowed in out at the farm.
Ashley wheeled her basket down the aisles, putting cottage cheese, yogurt, evaporated—and powdered—milk into her cart. The bread was all gone, too, so she picked up biscuits from the freezer section, and corn-bread mix, plus several packages of meat, fresh and frozen vegetables, and cereal. The checkout lines were packed, so she ended up standing in line longer than it had taken her to gather her groceries, but finally she was headed out to the lot.
The pavement was slick, so she navigated carefully. As soon as her groceries were in the trunk of the Mustang, Ashley started the car and cleaned the thin layer of snow off the windows. She was shivering by the time she got back into the car. Aware she couldn’t get home a moment too soon, Ashley started the drive back to the farm.
The first four blocks went okay. But as she neared the edge of town the roads suddenly got a lot more dicey.
“This isn’t the first time I’ve ever driven in snow,” Ashley reminded herself, hands gripping the steering wheel. She had grown up, dealing with winter weather. But she hadn’t been pregnant then, Ashley thought worriedly. And she didn’t like the way this vintage sports car was handling on the slick city streets.
She was about to turn back, stay in town for the night, or at the very least wait for Cal to drive them home in his SUV, when a teenager came barreling around the corner, going way too fast for either his experience or the weather. Ashley had time to gasp, and steer the wheel to the right, to avoid a head-on collision. And then he was spinning past her, continuing on down the street, completely out of control, while the Mustang jumped the curb and headed straight into someone’s front yard.
“ASHLEY? Are you okay?” Mac Hart asked.
Ashley turned to see her brother-in-law coming toward her. He was wearing his Holly Springs sheriff’s uniform. His patrol vehicle was parked at the curb.
“I’m fine.” Aware this wasn’t the first time Cal’s older brother had come to her rescue, Ashley climbed out of the Mustang on shaking legs, aware the snow was coming down even harder now. “I was trying to avoid a collision with another car and ended up jumping the curb.” A move that while not exactly laudable had been a lot better than the alternative.
“Yeah. One of the neighbors saw it and called it in. I was in the vicinity, so…”
Ashley drew in a quick, jerky breath, glad Mac had only been a minute or two away when it happened. “That teenager—”
“Just totaled his car. He’s about two blocks up. Another officer is assisting him. I don’t know how the fool didn’t get hurt,” Mac lamented with a disgruntled frown. He bent to look into her face. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked her quietly.
Ashley had already done a medical assessment, and except for a slightly accelerated pulse, she had come out of the incident unscathed. “Yes. I was only going about fifteen or twenty miles an hour when I hit the grass.” She knew she was pale—a look in the rearview mirror had told her that—and shaky. But those were normal reactions to any near accident. “It just scared me to have such a close call.” Ashley shuddered, recalling. “I thought he was going to hit me.” She’d thought that she would lose her and Cal’s baby. She swallowed hard around the growing knot of emotion in her throat. “But he didn’t. And except for the bump as I went over the curb I didn’t even get knocked around at all.” Her safety belt had held her in place. Although now that she thought about it, a shoulder harness would do a much better job of protecting her and the baby…but those hadn’t been invented when the ’64 Mustang had been made.
Mac gave her a hard, assessing look. “You want me to take you to the hospital?”
Ashley turned her collar up, and moved so her face was no longer directly in the blowing snow, which seemed to be coming down harder and thicker with every second that passed. She saw a few people beginning to gather in yards, a distance away, watching. “No. That would be a fool’s errand. I’m serious, Mac. If I thought there was any reason for me to go to the ER, I would.” In a flash. “But there isn’t. It’d be like going to the doctor for a single hiccup.” And she wasn’t about to do that.
He was still watching her carefully. “If you say so.”
“I do.”
He clamped an authoritative hand on her shoulder. “I’m taking you home anyway.”
Ashley turned and looked at the Mustang. “I can’t just leave my car sitting in someone’s front yard.” She considered herself fortunate she hadn’t taken out any of their trees or landscaping. They probably did, too, although they didn’t appear to be home….
“I’ll get it out for you,” Mac continued to propel her in the direction he wanted her to go.
“My groceries—”
“We’ll get those,” Mac promised her kindly, as gallant as ever. “But first, I’m putting you in the patrol car.”
Mac was nothing if not efficient. Fifteen minutes later, Ashley’s Mustang was safely parked in a church lot down the street, and they were on the way out to the farm.
“Thanks for doing this,” Ashley said, relieved not to be behind the wheel herself at this moment.
“No problem.”
“I needed to talk to you anyway.”
Mac lifted a brow, but kept his eyes on the road.
Anxiety welled inside Ashley. She turned her eyes to the side of the road. An inch of snow had already fallen, and it was coming down fast. “I never told Cal about what happened that day you took me to the hospital.”
Expression grim, Mac adjusted the windshield wipers to a higher speed. He shot her a quick glance. “So he doesn’t know you were ever—”
Pregnant, Ashley thought. “No.” Another chill went through her. She folded her arms in front of her. “And I don’t want him to know.”
Mac adjusted the heat, so more of it was flowing directly onto Ashley. “Do you think that’s wise?”
Good question, and one she had asked herself maybe half a million times. “I probably should have told him at the time, but you know why I didn’t.” Because she hadn’t known how to tell him he had lost what he had never even known he had. “And now it’s too late.” Ashley’s voice caught, tears pressing behind her eyes. “He’d never understand.”
When they stopped at the next stop sign, Mac turned and regarded Ashley with concern. “He has a right to know, Ashley.”
As Mac continued driving, guilt flooded her heart that she could ever have done something so short-sighted and foolish in the first place. “I would tell him, Mac, if I thought he could forgive me for keeping something like that from him, but—” Ashley’s voice trembled and she had to force herself to go on “—I know now that he wouldn’t be able to, and I don’t want to risk my marriage for something that can never be changed anyway.” Because as much as she wanted to undo the past, she just couldn’t.
Mac looked as if he still disagreed with her, but he did not argue the point further.
“What’s brought this all up?” he asked compassionately.
Ashley took a deep breath. Although she knew she could confide in Mac and trust him to keep whatever she chose to tell him secret, there was no way she was letting him know what Cal still didn’t.
Not this time anyway.
“Cal and I are working on our marriage,” she said simply. “I don’t want anything to interfere with that.” Nothing from the present, and certainly nothing from the past.
“I KNEW IT! YOU’RE NOT FINE!” Cal rushed into the family room, where Ashley was reclining on the sofa before the fire. He had thrown a coat on over his scrubs. His med-center badge was still clipped to his shirt.
Ashley tried not to make too much of the fact he had left the hospital before changing into his street clothes, something he never did. She flushed self-consciously, aware she had been “resting” pretty much ever since she got home. Not because it was medically indicated—but because she wanted their baby to know she would do whatever it took to ensure he or she came into the world, healthy, happy and safe. This time there were going to be no regrets, no “what if’s” or “if only’s.” No looking back and wondering…
She put the decorating magazine she’d been reading before falling asleep on the sofa aside. “I gather from that wild look in your eyes that you heard about my mishap with the Mustang?”
Cal grinned wryly in response to her comically exaggerated description, but the serious light remained in his eyes. He took off his coat and sank down beside her on the sofa, next to her raised knees. “Mac came by the med center and told me in person.” Cal paled slightly as he continued relating, “He didn’t want me seeing the Mustang parked there when I was driving home, ’cause he’d figured I would wonder why it was there when you weren’t and get all worried. And dammit, Ashley—” Cal’s brows knit together in aggravation, as he continued scolding her “—why didn’t you call me and let me know what happened yourself?”
Because if I had talked to you on the phone just then I probably would have burst into tears for no good reason other than I love you and don’t want to lose you. And the incident had reminded her that they could lose each other, just that quickly, should luck and wisdom not be on their sides next time.
But she didn’t know how to say any of that without sounding…pregnant.
Ashley sighed and ran her hands through her hair. She had left the blinds open, and outside she could see darkness had fallen. The snow was now three or four inches deep and still coming down.
Cal continued to wait for an explanation.
Ashley gestured helplessly. “Because I knew you were in surgery this afternoon and I was fine. So I figured I would tell you when you got home which I would have had your big brother not beaten me to it.”
He took the blanket off her lap and visually checked her out, his hands moving over her limbs as if he were conducting a medical exam. He seemed barely able to reassure himself. “You’re absolutely sure you’re fine?” he insisted.
“Yes,” Ashley retorted firmly. She batted his hands away. “Now stop playing doctor, Doctor,” Ashley teased, capturing his hands in hers. “And take a breath and calm down.”
Cal’s eyes grew abruptly moist. “I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you,” he told her in a low, hoarse voice.
That quickly, Ashley got choked up, too. She went into Cal’s arms and hung on tight. “I don’t want anything happening to you, either.”
He held her to him fiercely and they clung together like that for several minutes. Eventually, she heard Cal’s voice muffled against her hair. “You can’t scare me like that again. I mean it, Ashley. Anything happens, you let me know. Right then.”
Guilt flashed through her, more potent than a tidal wave. Ashley closed her eyes against the pain in her heart. “I promise,” she said thickly. “I won’t ever ever hold anything back from you again.”
The present, the future, she could fix.
It was the past she couldn’t control.
“IT’S STILL SNOWING.” Cal stared out the kitchen windows in amazement. At 11:00 p.m., there was a good six inches on the ground. The trees were coated in white and moonlight reflected off the snow, giving everything a tranquil wintry glow.
“It’s been so long since I’ve seen snow,” Ashley murmured, appreciating the beauty of the big fat white flakes still falling from the sky. She shook her head wistfully. “I wish I could go out in it.”
Cal came up behind her and wreathed his arms around her waist. He buried his nose in the hair on the top of her head. Their bodies touched in a warm, electric line. “So what’s holding you back?”
“We’re not kids.”
He guided her around to face him and winked at her playfully. “That’s not what you said when we were playing hide-and-seek last night.”
Ashley laughed softly. “As I recall, that game had a very sexy ending.” She still tingled every time she remembered his hot, passionate kisses.
A speculative gleam came into his eyes as he leaned close. “So could this one.”
Ashley flushed at the sensual promise in his low tone. “Not in the snow,” she protested. It was too cold to stand out there, kissing.
But Cal was not to be dissuaded. “It could start there,” he told her affably, already off collecting their cold-weather gear. “But it would end up before the fire.”
Ashley let him help her on with her winter coat. Still of a mind for the ultimate in comfort, she said, “Or in the bed upstairs.”
Cal stopped suddenly and stared at her. “You really want to make love tonight?”
Why were they still holding back? Hadn’t they already proven there was a lot of love—and life—left in their marriage?
“Maybe,” Ashley allowed cautiously.
He grinned as he helped her on with her boots.
Then again… Ashley bit her lip, unable to decide. She wanted Cal. No question. On the other hand, their no-sex situation definitely had them communicating a lot more, and that had them getting closer than ever. “Or maybe not,” Ashley said finally.
Cal shrugged on his own coat, stepped into his boots. “Playing hard to get?”
Maybe. And maybe I’m just scared that one step in the wrong direction would have us feeling distant and alone again. Wanting to keep the light mood, she batted her eyelashes at him flirtatiously. “Is it working?” she asked him dryly.
Cal thrust out his chest. Every muscle in his body looked taut, ready for action. He tilted his head slightly to one side. “You know us competitive types, when it comes to challenges….”
Ashley managed not to smile, but could do nothing about the happiness glittering in her eyes. “Hmmmm.”
They stepped outside, still inching on their gloves. “You know what this reminds me of?” Cal asked as he took her hand and they trudged through snow piled on the front porch, down the porch steps and in great drifts on the ground.
Ashley savored the feeling of being there with him. “What?”
“The first year we were dating,” Cal said as they walked through the stillness of the cold winter night, their breath forming frosty puffs of air. “When you were a freshman at the university and I was in first year in medical school.”
“And sometimes the only time we could make our schedules mesh and see each other was late at night,” Ashley finished for him.
Cal nodded, remembering. “And we used to walk around campus. And talk. And go to the library and stay up all night, studying. And then go have breakfast.”
I felt so close to you then. Ashley smiled at him affectionately. “Those were fun times,” she said quietly.
He considered her for a moment. “We still have fun times ahead.”
Looking into his eyes, she believed him.
“In fact,” Cal continued playfully, “we could have a fun time now.” He ducked down and came up with a handful of snow. A few running steps backwards, and a ball was arcing her way.
It hit her in the shoulder just as Ashley was reaching down to scoop up a palm full of snow herself. By the time she had it patted into an orb, he’d hit her two more times, once in the thigh, the other ball had ghosted across the top of her head. Grimacing, Ashley threw hers and…missed.
Laughing, Cal looked as if he were a superhero operating in fast-forward. He circled around her and hit her four more times, while Ashley stayed her ground, boot-clad feet firmly planted in the snow.
Cal darted back around to face her. He stopped just short of her, rubbed his gloved hand across his jaw. “You know,” he drawled thoughtfully, “you’d come out better if you ran a little instead of just standing there, taking all my hits.”
“You think I got a raw deal?” Ashley shook herself from head to toe. To little avail, as there was still snow all over her. Ashley knelt and got another handful of snow, then straightened to her full height.
“Didn’t you?” he said.
“Well, let’s see.” Ashley tranquilly continued shaping her weapon. “Which one of us is all out of breath?”
“Clever.” He came toward her to take her in his arms. As he reached her, she rubbed her snowball into the back of his neck. He grimaced as the cold wet stuff went down his shirt, and he looked at her as if he had expected her to do something just like that to him before all was said and done. “You know I’m going to have to punish you for that.”
“Now, Cal,” Ashley said, laughing at the teasing expression on his face. She put her hands up in front of her. “You wouldn’t hurt a lady.”
“Maybe not with snow,” Cal allowed wickedly. “But I’m not promising anything…about…my lips.” He caught her around the waist and tugged her close. The next thing she knew her eyes were closing and his mouth was on hers. His lips were cold and the inside of his mouth was hot. Feeling as though she had come home again, as though she had found her heart again at long last, Ashley melted into the kiss, melted into him.
“Okay, you win. I surrender,” she whispered finally, winding her arms about his neck and kissing him back with all the pent-up passion she had inside her.
Cal stroked his hands down her back. “We’ve got all night. Playtime doesn’t have to be over…yet.” Cal flashed her a mischievous grin as he tugged on a lock of her hair. “You want another chance? I’ll let you have a running start.”
Ashley shook her head. Serious now, she kissed his jaw, his cheek, his lips. “I’m not ever running from you again.”
“ASHLEY, this is ridiculous,” Cal murmured from the other side of the locked bedroom door.
“Says the person with the perfect body.” She opened the door and motioned him in.
In no hurry—he wanted the night to last forever—Cal followed her inside, drinking in the compelling fragrance of her orange blossom perfume. The master bedroom was softly lit and he took the opportunity to admire the way Ashley filled out her pale-yellow flannel nightshirt. The rounded fullness of her breasts and pouting nipples pressed against the soft cotton, a hint of cleavage visible in the notched collar. His whole body tightened as his gaze dropped lower, and he took in the sexy swell of her hips, the hint of long slender thighs visible beneath the knee-length hem, sexy calves, trim ankles and dainty feet. Honestly, he didn’t see what she was so self-conscious about! He smiled in sincere reverence. “You look perfect to me.”
Ashley flushed, her gaze drifting over his gray jersey boxers and the arousal clearly visible beneath. “Well, I’m glad you like it.” Her glance went to the apex of his thighs before she dashed back to the bed and climbed beneath the covers, which were promptly pulled to her chin.
Abruptly, she looked as nervous as a virgin on her wedding night. “Now turn out the lights,” she ordered even more hastily.
As confused as ever, Cal obliged nonetheless and climbed beneath the covers beside her. Maybe this new phobia of hers was something they should talk out, he reasoned. Delaying the moment that he took her in his arms, and losing sight of everything but making her his once again, he reached over and stroked a lock of her dark silky hair. “I don’t get it.” He let his eyes adjust to the darkness of the bedroom. “You used to really like making love with the lights on.”
Ashley sighed and cuddled closer. She turned onto her side, facing him, and ran her palm across the bareness of his chest. “And one day soon I will again.”
He felt her hands stroke his shoulders, upper arms, before moving back to the mat of hair on the center of his chest. “Just not right now?”
She leaned down to kiss the U of his collarbone. “I’m feeling a little shy,” she continued breathlessly.
Cal could have sworn from the tone of her voice that she was fibbing. He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. Then he kissed the inside of her wrist and forearm. “I was able to help you with that once,” he whispered back as her skin heated and she trembled against his lips.
Ashley took his chin in hand and held it still as she brought her mouth to his. She wanted him and let him know it with a sweet, searing kiss. “You don’t need to remind me you’re the one who helped me lose my virginity.”
Deciding she had been in the driver’s seat long enough, he turned her onto her back and moved his body over hers. The timing of their encounter and the darkness of the bedroom may have been her call, but in what fashion they actually made love for the first time since she had been back home was going to be his.
“Now that was a fun night.” He used his knee to separate hers and slipped between her thighs. Taking both her hands in his, he lifted them up over her head and pinned them there, then moved up, until his arousal fit against her femininity. Her breath caught at the intimate contact. The cotton of their undergarments provided a pleasurable friction.
Still holding her wrists in one hand, he threaded his other hand beneath the nape of her neck, and angling her head beneath his, he kissed the top of her head, her temple, the sensitive place behind her ear. She shifted beneath him restlessly, moaning as he found his way to her other ear.
“Cal.”
“Hmm.”
“I want you,” she whispered as he lifted the soft veil of her hair and kissed his way down the exposed line of her throat to the U of her collarbone.
“I want you, too,” he murmured. Bending his head, he took advantage of the languid ribbon of desire threading through her, kissed her full on the mouth, until a hot flush swept through her entire body and her toes curled against the mattress. Then he kissed her again. And again. And again, knowing no matter how long they were together, he would never get enough of her. Never stop desiring her. Cal had been wanting to make love to Ashley for days now. And his desire was a helluva lot more than just a search for physical release. He wanted to kiss her, touch her and possess her, make her see how right they were together. He wanted her to see how much they were meant to be together, not just for now or next week, but forever. And the best way he knew to do that was by letting their emotions run wild in hot, fevered kisses and caresses, marathon lovemaking sessions and nights spent cuddled in each other’s arms.
Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Ashley had been his from the moment they had made love for the first time, years ago, and she always would be, just as he was hers, and hers alone.
A lot of things had driven them apart. Things he still didn’t understand. But when he held her in his arms like this, when he kissed her and she kissed him back, he wanted Ashley as he had never wanted any woman. More telling was the fact that he needed her just as desperately. And judging by the way she was clinging to him, she needed him, too.
He was already undoing the buttons on her nightshirt. Tendrils of white heat swept through her as his mouth moved sensually on the hollow between her breasts, then returned with devastating softness to her mouth.
“Tell me you’re not too shy for…this,” he whispered in a low sexy voice that stirred her senses, as he deepened the kiss and slipped his hand inside to cup the soft curve of her breast.
Ashley arched against him, unable to think of a time, since first meeting Cal, when she hadn’t wanted him more than life. He was everything to her, so much more than just her husband…so much more than he ever knew. “You know I’m not,” she moaned as his fingertips closed over her nipple, massaging it to a point, then he followed it with his mouth. The pleasure was almost unbearable; everything around her went soft and fuzzy except for the gentle caresses of his lips and teeth and tongue. How was it that he always knew just how to kiss her and touch her? she wondered dizzily, as the familiar feeling of tenderness and excitement swept through her. How was it that he could always make her want to give up everything for him? How was it that he could make her feel so damn good, and so damn vulnerable, all at once? All she knew for sure was that he was so strong and wonderful. He tasted—and felt—so good, so undeniably male, so right.
Cal chuckled softly. “How about this?” he murmured in masculine satisfaction, sliding ever downward and tasting the silky stretch of skin across her ribs.
Ashley’s desire to keep a self-protective wall between them faded and she made a soft, yielding sound as he dipped his tongue into her navel. Then he was letting go of her hands, divesting her of her nightshirt. Desire trembled inside her, her tummy feeling weightless, soft. Heat swept through her. Her whole body straining against him, she gave an exultant cry as he slid lower yet, ran his palms across her thighs and found her…there.
The swiftness of her pinnacle caught them both by surprise, as did her wantonness and lack of restraint. The next thing she knew he was slipping off his boxers with the same sense of unbridled urgency. Moving over her once again in the moonlit shadows of their bedroom, he parted her thighs and slid in between. He raised her knees, and entered her—slowly, deliberately—watching her face as he did so. Joy swept through her as their bodies became one and the boundaries that still existed between them dissolved. For the first time in what seemed forever, she felt as if they were really husband and wife. Equal partners. Lovers.
Cal brought her even closer, so her breasts were pressed against the unyielding hardness of his chest. Their mouths mated, just as their bodies did, in one hot, incredible, endless kiss that went on and on…until her breaths were as short and shallow as his, and he was obliging her with ever deepening thrusts that she met with a wild abandonment of her own. Until she was experiencing everything it was possible to feel. Loving him without restraint, and still not able to get enough of him…would never be able to get enough of him.
Just when she thought she could stand it no more, he slipped a hand between their bodies. Her hips rose instinctively to meet him as he touched and rubbed and stroked, and loved her with an intensity that took her breath away. And then there was no more thinking, only feeling. Her heart soared and he took full possession of her. She urged him on, her body tightening implacably around his. He thrust forward, surging completely into her, and then all was lost in the intimate physical passion that defined their marriage.