The next time I talk to my dad, I need to tell him what a genius he is.
Around two in the morning, the night after my first training day with Leanne and Cassie, I gave up on any attempts to sleep and wandered my way to the garage. I stood in front of the boxing mannequin for a solid five minutes, studying the features and debating whether I could hit it or not.
As I stood there, the features morphed from that of a plain mannequin to the faces of mine and Cassie’s attackers. When fear tried to set in, I spent countless minutes reminding myself that they weren’t really in front of me. It took a while, but the fact that the mannequin remained stationary helped. The fear slowly ebbed into anger. Anger on the behalf of Cassie, my family, and all the trouble the two men caused all of us. The anger intensified until I found myself lashing out without guilt. I wasn’t hitting a real person, and the mannequin wasn’t harmed. One hit turned into two, and the next thing I knew, it was daylight.
I managed to sneak back into the house before anyone woke up and caught me in the garage. I want to keep the mannequin my secret for a while because I don’t want anyone trying to show me proper techniques of punches or whatever else they may want to teach me. I want to use the mannequin as an outlet and a way to pass the time at night when I can’t sleep.
Every night for the last week, I sneak into the garage as soon as everyone goes to sleep, then creep back into the house just before anyone wakes. I’ve already been asked several times if I’m feeling alright because I can’t stomach food anymore. I don’t want to know what they’d say if they knew I couldn’t sleep, either.
The pain in my chest has spread, and now, my entire body aches constantly. At first, I assumed it was the training and workouts—after all, my muscles needed to get used to moving around again. But it worsens when I think of Caleb. I’m sure it’s all in my head, but each day, it grows and deepens. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to continue the way I have been.
Caleb remains in the house, but he hasn’t said anything to me all week. It isn’t for lack of trying on his part, though. He just hasn’t been able to get a word in when we’re in the same room together and can’t manage to get me alone. I’ve noticed Jaxon interfere several times when Caleb tries to speak with me. Jaxon asked me once if I wanted to talk to Caleb, and when I shook my head, he didn’t hesitate to step in and help me by preventing Caleb from trying to chat with me.
I considered friendship with Caleb, but it wouldn’t work. I still love him with everything in me, and knowing he doesn’t feel the same, I couldn’t pretend to be his friend without wishing for more—I barely manage to survive daily as it is. I’ve kept myself busy with training and hanging around the house with Cassie all week. Thankfully, she and I are back to normal, and I couldn’t be more relieved.
For the first time in a while, I find myself alone. Technically, I could be hanging out with someone if I was desperate. The last time I saw Leanne, she was baking a cake but didn’t need help. Dad is at work as usual. Jaxon and Caleb went out to see a movie, and Cassie went to take a nap after making me promise to wake her if I needed her. With everyone else busy at the moment, I decide to pilfer through the bookshelves in the game room in hopes of a book I haven’t read yet; however, none of them stand out. Instead, I mope on the sectional and scroll through over a dozen funny pictures Cassie sent to my phone the day before.
Light pressure on my legs draws my attention, and I turn away from my phone to find Rose has joined me. My kitten kneads my legs while spinning in a slow circle. I watch her turn my thighs into a bed, curl up, then purr heavily. For a creature so tiny, her purrs are incredibly loud, almost like she’s snoring and purring at the same time.
Even without the purrs, I sense her contentment simply by being near me, and it slightly brightens my dull mood. This itty-bitty being loves me and trusts me with everything in her, and it took her no time at all. She chose me as her person, and she’s determined that’s how things will stay, no matter what. If only it was that easy for me to put every ounce of my trust into someone.
“Riley, there you are!” Leanne enters the game room with a big huff. “I was starting to think we were playing hide and seek that I didn’t know I was playing.”
I give a half grin. “I’m just trying to find something to do. I would be out training, but Dad said I should take a day off because I’ve been working too hard.”
“He’s absolutely right.” Leanne rounds the sectional and gently sits down. With my back against the right side of the sectional and my legs spread across the middle, it only allows her to sit at my feet or my head. She picks my feet and blindly reaches out to give Rose a soft scratch. Rose meows quietly at the disturbance, but she’s quick to realize it’s for her benefit and resumes her loud purr-snore.
“I have something to ask you,” Leanne says after a long silence. She ensures she has my attention, then takes a deep breath. “There’s someone I think you should meet. Her name is Dr. Paine. She’s a therapist but, also, an Elemental.”
I blink once, then twice. “You want me to see a therapist named Dr. Paine?”
Leanne snorts. “It’s not the best name for a doctor, I’ll admit. Her first name is Jill. We met in high school, and we’ve been friends ever since. She’s really a wonderful lady, and I think she might be able to help you.”
“Help me with what?” I twist my hands together nervously. The idea of seeing a therapist never crossed my mind. I’m not sure I want to be put on the spot and be required to tell a total stranger about my thoughts and feelings.
Leanne raises a brow. She watches me intently, but when I don’t react, she sighs. “Honey, you’ve come a long way from the girl you were five months ago. You could barely speak to us, you didn’t want to move without permission, and you never would have called this your home. You’ve opened up to us and gave us a glimpse of the true Riley. But you’ve had setbacks, and I’m sure there will be more in the future. That’s just life, always throwing us curveballs. Dr. Paine may be able to help you adjust to those twists and turns in life without taking ten steps back.”
I avert my eyes, unable to look at Leanne anymore. “I’m sorry for being such a pest, Leanne.”
“Riley Storm!” Leanne gasps. “You are not a pest. Don’t talk about yourself that way.”
My widened gaze darts back to her. “But you said—”
“I said you have had setbacks, honey,” Leanne reiterates. “That doesn’t make you a pest or a burden. It makes you human... well, sort of. It isn’t a bad thing, Riley. You are who you are, and I love you exactly as you are. But I always want to do what’s best for my kids. When Jaxon was in fifth grade, he needed help with math. He was so angry with me for hiring a tutor because he didn’t want to be thought of as stupid. It took him a little while, but he caught up and, in the process, realized I never once thought he was stupid. He just needed some extra help, and I did what was best for him. That’s my job as a mom. I only want my kids to be happy and have everything they need to succeed in life.”
Her words stun me. She may not realize it, but she said she wants what’s best for her kids. She didn’t say her son and step-daughter. She lumped me in with Jaxon. She didn’t throw me into a different category because I’m not her biological child. My heart gives a happy squeeze in my chest, and I curse the tears as they leak out.
Leanne slides off the couch and kneels on the floor beside me. She pulls my hand into hers. “I didn’t mean to upset you, honey. You don’t have to go see the doctor if you don’t want to. It was just an idea.”
“It’s not that,” I whisper, desperate to get myself together.
Leanne frowns. “Then what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
I swallow hard. “It’s just... You said your kids. You called me yours.” She may not have meant anything by it, but it meant the world to me.
“Oh, Riley.” She softens, pulling me closer to her and holding me in a tight hug. “Of course, you’re my kid. You became my daughter the moment you stepped into my life. I know I’m not your mom, but I’ll still protect you and love you and care for you just as much as I do Jaxon.”
“You’re the mom I always wished I had,” I remind her of my words from the hotel back in Sacramento. “When I was growing up, I only wanted my mother to hug me and tell me that she loved me. She never did, but you do all the time, and every time it means more than I could ever tell you.”
“I love you, Riley,” Leanne murmurs, tightening her arms around me. “You’ll always be my daughter.”
“I love you, too.” I sob into her shoulder. “Mom.”
My words trigger Leanne’s own flow of tears. We hug each other and allow ourselves a good cry together until my dad finds us holding each other and sobbing. I notice him stroll into the room out of the corner of my eye, but he freezes the second he spots us in miserable states.
His eyes bounce between us, then to the sleeping kitten on my lap. Rose managed to remain in her makeshift bed during my entire conversation with Leanne. Dad groans, “Oh no, did the cat die?”
Leanne startles away from our hug at the sounds of his voice. She glances down at Rose and watches as she lifts her little head and lets out a big yawn, then turns to my dad. “Mark, I didn’t know you’d be home before dinner.” She rolls onto her heels, then pushes herself to stand. “Rose is fine. Riley and I were just talking.”
“Is something wrong?” Dad steps farther into the room, scratching nervously at the back of his neck. “You two seemed pretty upset when I walked in just now.”
“Just a little mother-daughter chat,” Leanne explains.
Dad gawks, his wide eyes bouncing between us. I begin to wonder if he’s okay with Leanne referring to me as her daughter, but before I can think too much, Dad breaks out with a giant grin. “My two most favorite girls in the world. I’m so glad to hear you’re having mother-daughter time.” He puts great emphasis on mother-daughter, and I know he caught onto what was talked about. “I have to ask, though,” Dad’s tone turns serious, “did you two talk about Dr. Paine?”
“I was just asking her about it,” Leanne admits. She regards me cautiously. “No pressure, honey. It’s just an idea I had, and your dad said I should talk to you about it. We support whatever you want to do, though.”
I chew my bottom lip and think about the offer. Maybe talking to someone I don’t know about the things that bother me wouldn’t be a bad thing. Their opinion doesn’t matter to me as much as my family’s does. I don’t think it would hurt at all to at least try. If I don’t like her for whatever reason, I don’t have to go back.
With my decision made, I nod. “I’ll see her.”
Dad beams. “I think it’ll be good for you, kiddo.”
It’ll either do nothing and things will remain the same, or Dr. Paine will help me get past my fears and doubts. Either way, it can’t get much worse for me than it already is.
“You’re not going to have any nails left if you keep chewing them off,” Cassie jokes.
When Leanne asked if I wanted anyone to come to my first appointment with Dr. Paine, I begged for her and Cassie to come along. Somehow, Leanne managed to get me an appointment for the following day, and I was nervous because I thought I’d have more time to prepare for it. After I meet Dr. Paine, I may be more comfortable alone with her, but I’d much rather have someone with me the first time around. We’ve only been in the waiting room for five minutes, but it feels like all day. I can’t stop biting my nails while my knee bounces up and down. I’d be less nervous sitting on death row.
Leanne wraps an arm around my shoulders and tugs me into her side. “It’s okay, honey. You have us here with you. No need to be nervous.”
“She’s right.” Cassie takes my hand in hers. “We’ll be with you the whole time.”
“You’d think I’m about to go in for major surgery or something.” It’s silly to be in such disarray over a simple meeting with someone. The problem is, I know I’ll only be meeting Dr. Paine today, but if I decide to come back, she’ll want me to talk about the things that bother me. It won’t be easy for me to open up to a random new person I know nothing about.
“Riley Storm?”
My attention snaps to the source of my name. A woman in her mid-thirties with mocha-colored eyes stands beside the door of the waiting area. She smiles kindly when our eyes meet, her bright teeth shining against her ebony skin. Her silky brown hair is pulled back in a perfectly smooth ponytail at the base of her neck. The long, brightly-colored animal print dress she wears flows around her as she strides toward us.
“Are you Riley?” she asks with a hand extended to me.
I respond with a small nod as the three of us stand, and I politely extend my hand to shake hers.
“It’s good to meet you, Riley. I’m Dr. Paine.” She sidesteps and gestures to the door she came from. “Would you like to come on back?”
Without a word, I follow her lead, Cassie and Leanne by my sides.
Dr. Paine clears her throat. “Riley?” I pause mid-stride and peek at her over my shoulder. “Do you want your family to come with you or would you rather come in alone?”
My heart rate spikes. Does she want me to tell them to stay in the waiting room? I don’t think I can do this on my own. My hand tightens around Cassie’s, thankful she never let go.
Dr. Paine’s features soften. “I want you to take a deep breath for me.” I do as she asks while she shuffles slowly around us so she is face-to-face with me. “This decision is solely up to you, Riley. I want to make sure you’re comfortable with everything. If you’re more comfortable with them, that’s perfectly fine with me. However, if you want to see me alone, I’ll make sure that happens for you, too. It’s completely fine with me either way.”
Her reassuring tone quiets the panic enough for me to take another deep breath. So far, Dr. Paine hasn’t given me any indication she’s a threat to me, and she’s willing to do whatever she can to ensure I’m comfortable. It means a lot to me that she thinks of my comfort from the start.
“I n-n-need them,” I whisper.
Dr. Paine nods once, indicating that she heard me. “Let’s all go into my office then.”
She leads the way to a surprisingly large office. The walls of the room are painted the color of sand. A large metal anchor takes up the majority of the biggest wall, with various other marine-themed décor pieces throughout the room. A messy desk and matching bookcase sit to one side of the room, while on the other side, there are three navy armchairs and a matching couch which forms a circle around a coffee table made of driftwood.
“Have a seat wherever you’d like.” Dr. Paine waits near the wall while we pick our seats.
Cassie urges me forward to sit first. I pick the middle of the couch and sigh with relief when Cassie sits to my right and Leanne to my left. Dr. Paine picks up a notepad and clipboard from her desk, then takes a seat on the middle armchair, directly across from me.
“So, Riley, I can see you’re not entirely comfortable here, and I want to help change that. How about I introduce myself to you, then you can tell me about yourself? Is that okay?” She waits for my small nod before she continues, “I’m Jillian Paine, and I’m married to my soulmate, Alan. We have three children together, all boys. I have an affinity for Water, in case you couldn’t tell by my room, and I love Chinese food.” She pauses briefly and taps her pen against the notepad in her lap. “Would you like to tell me about yourself?”
With a deep breath, I give her a stuttered introduction of myself. I manage to tell her my name and age, but then I freeze. What else can I tell her? Does she want to know everything about me? Does she want to hear about my past or about Caleb? Is she wondering why I decided to come see her?
When it’s clear to her that I don’t know what else to say, Dr. Paine takes over. “Is it all right if I ask you a few questions?”
I exhale gratefully. “Sure.” It’s easier for me to answer her questions than it is for me to come up with something to say, especially since I don’t even know where to start.
“What’s your favorite color?” Her question throws me off. What would my favorite color matter to her?
Still, I answer her because she’s the professional, not me. “I guess y-y-yellow?”
“Really?” Cassie asks quietly. He eyes widen as if she didn’t mean to speak aloud. “Sorry, I just never knew that.”
“It’s a happy color,” I explain to Cassie. “Most yellow things are bright and happy, like the sun and flowers, birds and fish.”
“I like the way you think.” Dr. Paine grins. “Yellow is a great color. I’m partial to ocean blue, myself.”
“Same.” Cassie giggles.
My curiosity piques, and I glance at Leanne. “What’s your favorite color?”
“Bright green,” she answers with a shrug. “Like grass right after a good rain.”
“You must like yellow because you can find it in all elements,” Dr. Paine muses. “It seems like our favorite colors coincide with our elements.”
The color drains from my face, my hand tightening on Cassie’s. “H-h-how do y-y-you know?”
Dr. Paine frowns and tilts her head to the side. “Know what?”
“How did you know about her affinities, Jill?” Leanne leans forward, her posture straightening. “I never mentioned that.”
“My husband, Alan, told me some rumors.” Her frown deepens. Her eyes, full of concern, bounce between the three of us. “He said there’s talk all over his office of the Chosen being real and having a strange introduction into our world. He said there’s been a blessing already, but no one knows who the person is. Leanne, when you told me about Riley and that she had a unique situation, I wondered... However, the marks I can see put it together for me.”
My attention moves to the most visible mark I have. The band of fire with the burning rose on my arm. I do my best to avoid looking at it because it makes me think of Caleb. I knew other Elementals would notice my mark for Fire. The Water mark on my ribs is easily covered and so is the Earth mark between my shoulder blades. When I peek down at my Air mark on my ankle, I realize my mistake. I wore a skirt today, and when I sat down, it lifted enough to show the mark.
It’s supposed to be a secret. I was told to keep my new identity a secret, and I already failed. “Oh no.” I shrink back on the couch.
Leanne gives my leg a reassuring pat, but her attention remains on Dr. Paine. “This is really important, Jill. No one is supposed to know about this.”
Dr. Paine lifts a hand to stop Leanne. “No one knows who Riley is. I only figured it out because of the marks and your brief introduction of her when you called me. I didn’t say a word to anyone, and I never would. Not only is it my job to keep anything in this room confidential, but I wouldn’t risk our future as Elementals or Riley’s safety. I know the myths. I know what’s supposed to come with the discovery of the Chosen. Your secret is safe with me. Please don’t worry about me telling anyone because I won’t, not even Alan.”
I wonder briefly how the information was leaked. The only people who knew about me were my family and the council. If I had to guess, Forrest, the council member who represents Earth, would be the culprit. He didn’t seem to like me much when I met him.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that my family wouldn’t have told anyone. The revelation brings a smile to my face. I trust them enough to know they’d never do anything to put my safety in jeopardy. I don’t even worry about Caleb potentially mentioning it to anyone. He may not love me anymore, but he wouldn’t purposely hurt me.
Cassie nudges me softly with her elbow. “Why are you smiling, Ri?”
“I just realized something, that’s all.” I shrug but lean my side into hers.
Dr. Paine clears her throat. “Would you tell us what you realized?”
All eyes fix on me, but I don’t mind for once. I’m not afraid to admit my thoughts to them. “I trust my family to keep me safe.”
In the short time I’ve been in California, I’ve heard a million times that none of them would ever hurt me on purpose. More than anything, I wanted to believe the words, but I’ve been told a lot of things in my life. I couldn’t bring myself to trust their words. Instead, it’s been their actions that gave me the trust in them I wasn’t sure I’d ever find. They’ve shown me, along with telling me, that I can trust them.
Caleb left me and hurt me, but I truly believe he didn’t mean to. He even said he was sorry for it, and I know he is. He wouldn’t do anything to cause me pain on purpose. It was something he had to do for himself, and I can’t hold that against him. I’d hate for him to stay with me and be miserable when he doesn’t share the same feelings.
“That’s a very good thing.” Dr. Paine grins. She glances at her watch and cringes. “Our time is up today, Riley. When Leanne called, I unfortunately didn’t have a full session available. I decided to take a short lunch and fit you in with a short introductory appointment today. I want to assure you, though, your secret is safe with me. In fact, all of your secrets are safe with me. I cannot and would not tell anyone anything you say to me in this room. Still, it’s completely up to you if you’d like to come back and visit me again.”
“Thank y-y-you,” I whisper. “I think I’d l-l-like that.”
None of my internal alarms sound off around Dr. Paine. I don’t think she’s a bad person, and I would like to talk more with her. Maybe she really could help me sort through my thoughts. She knows Leanne—has for a long time—and it helps that Leanne seems to trust her.
Dr. Paine stands, and the three of us follow suit. She leads us to her door as she speaks over her shoulder. “Should we say the same time next week? It would be a typical, hour-long appointment then.”
“I’m okay with that,” I mumble, my gaze on Leanne. “Is that okay?”
“Anything you need, honey.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders and hugs me to her side. Happily, I lean against her. She’s been more affectionate since I called her mom a few days ago. I like it, a lot. Her hugs bring a sense of safety, and I love that she’s giving them to me more freely.
Dr. Paine pulls the door open for us. “I’ll write it down in the books. It was wonderful to meet you, Riley. I look forward to seeing you again.”
With another quiet thank you to her, I shuffle out the door. Something bright blue catches my eye as we pass through the waiting area. I turn to find a large bouquet of blue roses in a black vase on the counter of the front desk. I don’t remember them being there before, but I was distracted with my nerves over the appointment with Dr. Paine. I must have been too lost in my head to pay enough attention.
Surely, it’s a coincidence. The roses will forever remind me of Caleb, but he isn’t the only person to ever send a girl a bouquet of roses. Cassie said Elementals can grow blue roses, and Dr. Paine is an Elemental. Maybe her husband has an affinity for Earth, and he had them delivered to her—after all, her favorite color is blue. I don’t understand why it matters to me, though.
As I push the front door open and step out, I allow the cool, November air to carry away my thoughts of the blue roses. I’m simply too content to bring myself another worry. I may not trust my family without doubt and without exception, but I’m getting there. It’s a step in the right direction.