Damn.
Chalk it up to another exercise of bad judgment, but I can’t bring myself to be sorry. She’s freaking amazing. Being inside Kelly was…surreal.
I move off of her, as the couch is pretty narrow, and quickly dispose of the condom. When I return, she’s still lying with her eyes shut.
“Kelly?”
“Hmm?”
“Let me get you into bed.”
I sweep her into my arms, and carry her into her bedroom, where I lay her down on her bed. I cover her, and then I return to the living room and get my clothes on.
Then I check on her again. Her eyes are closed, and a soft snore escapes her throat.
“Kelly?”
No response.
I don’t want to leave her, but I don’t want to stay either. I could leave a note. Let her know I’m in my apartment if she needs me.
Strangely, I have an urge to climb in bed next to her and sleep beside her tonight.
But I can’t let that happen. I already let enough happen.
I gently nudge her on the shoulder. “Kelly?”
Nothing.
I nudge her harder. “Kelly.”
This time she sleepily opens her eyes. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I smile. “I’m going to go now, okay?”
“No. Please stay.”
Damn. Those are fighting words. She has no idea how much I want to stay, to sleep next to her, but as attracted as I am to her physically…
I can’t even finish the thought.
“I think it’s best if I go back to my own place.”
She harrumphs and turns away from me. “Fine then.”
“I’ll check in with you first thing tomorrow.”
“I start my new job tomorrow,” she mutters, still not looking at me.
“Right. I know. But you said that’s not until the evening shift.”
“No. But I’m fine.”
“Okay. I accept that. I’m still checking in on you tomorrow.” I kiss her ear. “Good night, Kelly.”
I leave her bedroom, close her door so that it’s slightly cracked.
I’m not sure I should leave. I’ve left her vulnerable, and maybe I should spend the night here at this place.
I lie down on the couch, wishing I could crawl into bed next to her and settle in. I pull a throw blanket over myself.
Nothing like a good climax inside a beautiful woman to relax me enough to get to sleep very quickly—even on a narrow couch.
* * *
“Wake up!”
I jerk my eyes open.
Kelly stands above me. As I wipe the blur out of my eyes, I see that she’s still naked.
Damn.
“What you still doing here?” she demands. “I thought you said you were leaving.”
A yawn splits my face. “I… I didn’t want to leave you alone.”
“You’ve told me before how safe I am here.”
“You are safe here. But we…”
“Fucked. We fucked, Leif.”
“Yeah. I guess we did.”
“You guess?”
“For God’s sake, Kelly, can you give me a minute to wake up?” I sit up on the couch, get my bearings. I hate sleeping in my clothes. It’s so uncomfortable. Normally I sleep in my underwear.
“You got any coffee?” I ask.
She grabs a pillow from a chair and attempts to cover herself. “I’m sure there’s plenty of coffee over at your place.”
“Then…do you have a robe?” I say angrily.
“This is my place. If I want to walk around naked, I will.”
I rake my fingers through my hair, which I’m sure is a mass of unruly blond waves. “What’s with the pillow then?”
I have no idea what else to say to her. She was so sweet last night, and she responded to me so completely when we made love. Now?
Old Kelly is back.
I don’t know why I expected anything different.
In fact, I didn’t expect anything different.
I stand, stretch my arms over my head. Then I amble into her kitchen.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she demands.
“I’m going to make a pot of coffee, if that’s all right with you.”
As a matter of fact, that’s not all right with me.
I expect those words any minute.
But oddly, they don’t come. I find the coffee maker, root around for the grounds, and start a pot. Then I open the refrigerator.
Again, I expect a sarcastic and nasty comment, but I don’t get one.
She is such an enigma to me, even though I understand her in a lot of ways. Her troubles didn’t begin on that island. She’s made that clear.
I wish I could secretly look at her therapy files. I want to know all about her. Maybe she’s a new project for me.
Except I don’t feel like she’s a project. I feel like she’s a woman I want to get to know. A woman I have intense physical chemistry with for sure, but there’s so much more beneath her exterior, and I want to know everything about her. Every single thing.
I want her to know every single thing about me.
God, this is so fucked up.
Kelly arrives back in the kitchen, this time wearing a robe, thank God. My dick would never go back to normal size with her walking around naked.
She pulls two mugs out of the cupboard and sets them on the counter.
I guess that’s her invitation for me to stay for coffee. “Do you have any eggs or anything? I can make some breakfast.”
She doesn’t answer, but she walks to the fridge and pulls out eggs, a package of bacon, and a loaf of bread.
Bacon, eggs, toast. Sounds good to me.
“Where’s your frying pan?”
Again she doesn’t answer, but she opens the cupboard below the oven and pulls out a frying pan. Next, she lays strips of bacon in it, places it on the stove, and turns on the burner.
Okay. I guess she’s making breakfast.
The coffee is ready, and I fill each of our mugs. “Cream and sugar?” I ask.
Again she doesn’t respond, so I leave her coffee on the counter, and I take mine out to the living room and sit back down on the couch.
Now what? I guess I wait for her to tell me breakfast is ready.
Why doesn’t she want to talk to me?
My phone is about dead, but I check some emails and texts, reply to a few, and then my phone rings. It’s Buck.
“Hey,” I say.
“Hey, Phoenix. Where are you?”
“I’m at Kelly’s place. Why?”
“Because I’ve been knocking at your door for a few minutes, and I was wondering where you were.”
“What do you need?”
“Reid’s been trying to get hold of you.”
“Yeah, I know. I just responded to his text, but he hasn’t called me.”
“He got a message early this morning,” Buck says, “from Kelly’s mother.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Oh?”
“Yeah, which is really weird, because Kelly’s mother lives in Phoenix, which is three hours’ time difference. And that means the text came in at like four thirty in the morning her time.”
“Unless…”
“Right,” Buck says. “Unless she’s here in Manhattan. Or at least somewhere in this time zone.”
“Can’t he figure out where the text came from?”
“It came from a cell phone with the Phoenix area code. At any rate, the text said that she wants to see Kelly.”
“I think that’s up to Kelly, isn’t it?”
“Absolutely. But I wanted to let you know, so you could bring it up to her.”
“If she wants to see Kelly, why doesn’t she just call her?”
“Apparently Kelly hasn’t given her any of her information. Not her new address, her new cell phone number, nothing. She hasn’t even seen her mother.”
I stay silent a moment.
Kelly mentioned that her whole life has been difficult, and I’d bet her mother had a lot to do with that. In which case I can’t blame her for not wanting to see the woman.
“Okay. I’ll talk to her. I’ll call Reid as soon as I have her response.”
I end the call, and I walk into the kitchen where Kelly is finishing up the bacon, laying the strips on a paper towel.
“Kelly,” I say.
She doesn’t reply.
“You’re going to have to talk to me at some point.”
No reply.
“Okay. Last night was amazing. I enjoyed it immensely, and I’m pretty sure you did too. But we’re going to have to table that for the moment because we have something else to deal with.”
She still doesn’t look my way.
“Your mother got in touch with Reid. She wants to see you.”
Kelly drops the egg she was holding onto the floor, and it cracks open, its yellow yolk spilling out. I grab some paper towels and lean down to clean it up.
Once it’s cleaned up and in the trash, I find Kelly in the living room seated on the couch and staring into space.
“You don’t have to see her if you don’t want to,” I say. “I’m just relaying the message. She got in touch with Reid.”
“I don’t want to see her,” Kelly says.
“That’s fine, baby. You don’t have to.”
She widens her eyes at my use of baby.
“If I had wanted to see my mother, I would’ve contacted her.”
“I understand. No one is going to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”
“Damn right. I am so sick of doing things I don’t want to do.”
“I understand.”
I understand more than she knows.
“Do you want to talk about anything?” I ask.
She shakes her head.
“Okay. I’m here for you, Kelly. You can talk to me. You want me to call Macy for you?”
“I think I’m capable of calling my therapist myself if I need to.”
“Yes, I was just trying to help.”
“I don’t need your help.”
God.
“I’m going to go fix the eggs. You sit here. I’ll bring you a plate of breakfast when it’s done.”
She stays there, still silent.
I amble back into the kitchen, mix up a batch of scrambled eggs, and fry them in the bacon fat. Not real heart healthy, but they’re delicious that way. I throw some slices of bread in her toaster, and once they pop out I add butter. I look inside the refrigerator for jelly, but she doesn’t have any. Good enough. I prefer plain butter on my toast anyway.
I fill two plates with scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast, and I take them back out to Kelly, where she’s still seated on the couch. I hand her a plate of breakfast, and I’m a little surprised when she takes it.
“What do you want me to tell Reid? That you just don’t want to see your mom?”
She nods and bites the top off a strip of bacon.
We eat breakfast in silence. Once we’re done, I carry our plates into the kitchen, rinse them, and put them in her dishwasher.
“I have to go now,” I tell her. “Would you like me to come by anytime later today?”
“No. I’m fine.”
“Okay. I’m here if you need anything. What time do you have to report to work tonight?”
“Is that any of your business?”
“Only if you want it to be.” I sigh, shaking my head.
Then I leave.