He smiles, and my heart surges.
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
“I wish I could promise you something more than this morning,” he says.
“I’m not asking for more.”
And I’m not. I don’t know that I’m ready, and he and I don’t know each other very well.
I’ve never let myself know another person.
I want to know Leif. I want to know him as more than a protector, even as more than a lover.
At this moment, though, what I need is to capture that feeling again. The feeling of being cleansed, being whole. The only time I’ve ever felt that was when I was with Leif.
He kisses my cheek, and then he leads me to his bedroom.
His bed of course, hasn’t been slept in. It’s kind of endearing that he makes his bed. Or the Wolfes probably hired a maid for him.
“I don’t want this to be just sex, Kelly,” he says.
“What do you want it to be?”
“I don’t know yet, but I want you to know this isn’t just sex to me. I don’t do that. I don’t have indiscriminate sex.”
“Even when you were overseas? On tour?”
“Especially not then. We were working. We were always watching our backs.”
“You didn’t meet anyone?”
“No one I wanted to have sex with. Buck did. He met a woman named Amira.”
“You mean he was in love before Aspen?”
“He was, but Amira died. She was killed by a suicide bomber.”
I frown. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“But he’s okay. He and Aspen are so perfect for each other.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be perfect. Not for anyone.”
“No one is perfect,” Leif says. “Least of all me.”
He seems pretty perfect to me, but the fact that he met with my mother last night doesn’t help his case. I have so many questions, but they fall to the wayside as I look into his beautiful blue eyes.
“You’re so gorgeous, Kelly.” He threads his fingers through my hair and then trails one down my cheek. “But I don’t have sex with just anyone. A lot of the guys did overseas. It was an escape, and we needed an escape.”
“What did you do to escape?”
“Slept mostly, when I could. I’m not saying I was celibate while I was there. But I wasn’t like some of the guys. Sex for the sake of sex has never done much for me.”
My heart lurches. That means the sex he had with me meant something. A spark of joy hits my heart. At least I think that’s what it is. I mean something to him. Something more than just someone to screw.
And that makes me…
I think it makes me happy.
He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me.
It’s a gentle kiss—so different from the raw and passionate kisses we’ve shared before. And I like it. I like his soft lips sliding over mine, his velvety tongue inching slowly into my mouth.
But the gentleness doesn’t last long.
A groan emanates from him, and the kiss deepens. This is the kiss I remember. The feral kiss. The intense kiss. The kiss that makes my whole body sizzle and shoots flaming arrows between my legs.
I return his kiss, and emotion whirls around me and through me and over me and under me. So much emotion that I don’t have any context for.
Emotions I don’t recognize… Except that I do.
This man accepts me. Understands why I come out fighting. Wants me to know I no longer have to do that.
And I wonder…
I wonder if I found something I was never looking for. Something I wasn’t sure existed.
Then the thoughts morph into pure feeling—those emotions I have no name for. Those physical sensations that I do have names for but that I’ve never felt.
I push him away, breaking the kiss so I can gasp in a deep breath.
His eyes are blue fire, and he scorches me with his gaze. “Take off your clothes, Kelly. Take them off quickly.”
I got so tired of obeying the men on the island, and I only did so when I had no other choice.
I fought more than anything. I fought and I disobeyed and I swore to God I would never obey another man.
Yet something in me wants to obey Leif.
So I undress.
I undress quickly as his eyes widen with appreciation.
When I’m standing before him naked, trembling slightly, he kneels before me, looks up at me, and then slides his tongue between my legs.
I gasp as electricity courses through my body. He touches my clit, and already, I want to explode.
I fist my hands in his hair, tangling my fingers in his soft strands, and then pulling, pulling his hair, and then pushing his mouth onto me.
He tongues my pussy, sliding through my folds, and then nipping at my clit. He’s still fully dressed, and more than anything I want to see him, look at his beautiful body, touch every part of him.
But maybe not more than anything, because I’m standing, standing at the precipice, as he continues to lick me.
Until—
I jump.
I jump into the beautiful oblivion that is the orgasm pulsing through me.
I grind into his mouth, moving with him, undulating my hips, as my body convulses, shatters, as rivers of boiling nectar flow through me and culminate in my core, right in my pussy as he’s still licking me.
I say words, but I don’t know what they are. They’re unintelligible, but they flow out of me, out of my mouth and throat.
He looks at me again, and then, finally, when I begin to come down, I drop my head, open my eyes, meet his blue gaze.
His chin is glistening, his eyes still on fire.
“Again,” he growls.
As if his mere words strike obedience into me, I soar again, this time landing among clouds—light fluffy warm clouds, and this climax is less hectic, more tender.
I continue to fly as he licks me, and I lose count of how many times I begin to flow downward but then soar again. My body is shuddering, and my legs have turned to jelly.
As if reading my mind, Leif scoops me up and lays me down on the bed.
My legs are so spread, and though I would love for his tongue to tantalize me more, what I really need is that huge cock of his burning through me.
My eyes are closed, but I open them when he commands me to.
“Good,” he says. “I’m going to undress now. I want you to watch me. I want to see your reaction to every part of me.”
Not a hardship for sure. My head turned, I watch as he stands before me, peeling the clothes from his body.
His blue-and-white button-down shirt is wrinkled, probably from staying up all night working with Buck. He unbuttons it slowly, and though I want him to go quicker, I can’t help but be mesmerized at every inch of new flesh that is revealed.
I remember.
I remember his smooth porcelain skin, his broad shoulders, his tanned nipples, and his glorious abs.
When he finally parts the shirt, slides it off his shoulders, and throws it to the floor, I suck in a breath as he fiddles with his belt.
Once it’s unbuckled, he unzips his fly and kicks his shoes off before he slides the jeans over his hips.
He wears boxer briefs, and they’re light blue, nearly matching the color of his eyes. Once his jeans are history he toes off his socks. Then he slides his thumbs under the waistband of his boxer briefs.
My body throbs.
Down go the boxer briefs, and his huge and majestic cock springs forward, so ready.
And I’m so ready for it.
He grabs his jeans, pulls out a condom, and quickly sheaths his cock.
Within another second, he’s on top of me, hovering over me, the head of his dick teasing my clit.
I could explode again. I could shatter so easily, but I hold myself back. My body is spent already, and what I want—what I really, really want—is to feel him slide inside me.
“Are you ready for me?” Leif’s voice is low and raspy.
“God, yes,” I breathe out on a sigh.
“I’m going to sink into your pussy, Kelly.”
“Please…”
“Look at me. Watch me as I sink my cock into you.”
Does he want me to look in his eyes? Or between us, at our joining?
I choose his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. I meet his gaze, and I don’t let go.
And with one smooth thrust, he enters me.
Such fullness. Such completion.
Again he burns through me as if cleansing me.
Is this what I need? To be cleansed every time? Or can I just accept that I like this feeling? That I like…him?
He pulls out and pushes back in, and then again.
Each time he pulls out, I want to whimper at the loss, but he thrusts back in hard each time, and that feeling of fullness, of completion, drugs me.
It’s a high. A high from the feeling of him inside me.
I never want it to end.
Never could I imagine enjoying sex the way I do with Leif. After so much abuse through so much of my life, I never imagined I could want this. Feel this. Revel in this.
He fucks me. He fucks me and he fucks me and he fucks me.
And I realize I don’t need another orgasm.
All I need is this.
Leif, inside me, making me complete.