I’ve never been an outdoors person—not after my mother ended my volleyball career. I still played when I could, but I stopped caring so much. Caring only led to hurt.
I tend to stay inside, with the exception of the five years I spent on the island. We were forced to be outdoors during the hunt.
Central Park was never on my bucket list, but Leif and I spend a few hours there, until the sun begins to set. It’s huge. But we manage to see Belvedere Castle and Conservatory Pond, and then we walk around the great lawn. It’s beautiful and green and the castle is gray and magnificent.
We don’t talk a lot, and we don’t even hold hands, but I feel content. Content just walking beside Leif in this beautiful area of New York City.
“Getting hungry?” he asks.
“I could eat.” I turn to him. “How about you? Have you even eaten today?”
He laughs. “No, I haven’t, come to think of it. And I can definitely eat.”
We get to the nearest subway stop and head toward the apartment building, stopping at a place called Gianni’s Pizza.
“Have you had good old-fashioned New York pizza?” Leif asks.
“Lily brought me a slice from a street vendor once,” I say.
“Those can be iffy. Some are terrific and others not so much. Most New York pizza places aren’t like restaurants, but Gianni’s is, and it’s the best I’ve found. He always finds room for me.”
This time Leif takes my hand, and we head into the pizzeria.
“Hey, Leif,” a young man says. “Twice in as many days.” He nods to me. “Nice to see you again.”
“It is? Funny, since I’ve never been here before.” I suppress—or try to—a scowl.
“Oh.” The man reddens. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay, Mikey,” Leif says. “You got my table?”
“We’re pretty crowded right now, as you can see, but I can always squeeze you in.”
“That would be great.”
We follow Mikey through the restaurant, which is much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. The table truly is in the back, very secluded. A candle gives out some soft light. Normally I’d enjoy the aroma of rustic tomato and cheese, but I’m pissed.
“Will a server even know we’re back here?” I ask, not so nicely.
Mikey laughs. “Oh yeah. We have great service. Tell her, Leif.”
I raise my eyebrow. “Yeah. Tell me, Leif.”
“Service is great,” he says. “And the pizza’s always great. Plus they make garlic knots to die for.”
At that, my stomach lets out a growl, much to my dismay. I’m still busy being pissed.
How long has it been since I had a garlic knot? We used to serve those at the diner. It’s been…over five years.
The waiter hands us each a menu and then looks at Leif. “The usual?”
“What’s the usual?” I ask.
Mikey laughs. “Leif and his friend Buck come in here and usually got an extra-large with every single meat topping we offer.”
“Excluding the anchovies.” Leif says. “I don’t consider anchovies meat.”
Mikey lets out a guffaw.
“Sure,” I say. “The usual sounds great.”
“You sure?” Leif asks. “It’s huge, and they pile on the toppings.”
“I’m sure,” I grit out.
“In that case, Mike, give us the usual.” Leif smiles. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday, so I’m freaking starving.”
“And to drink?”
“How about a bottle of your best Chianti,” Leif says.
I open my mouth to protest but then I close it. Chianti sounds good. I enjoyed the glass I had with the lasagna that Buck made. Plus…I need to take the edge off.
“You got it. Frankie will bring out your water soon.”
“How come he took the order himself?” I ask Leif.
“Because he knows what I like,” Leif says. “Mikey and I go way back.”
“You do?”
“Yeah… We met…in Afghanistan.”
“Oh…”
“He was an infantry soldier on the ground. Buck and I… Well, we kind of saved his life.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. He was injured, and his platoon left him behind. Buck and I found him, and we got to a MASH unit.”
“His platoon left him behind?”
“They were following orders, Kelly. It happens. But it wasn’t Mikey’s time, and we got him the help he needed.”
“I see.”
My anger begins to dissipate. So Leif brought another woman here two days ago. It was probably Terry. Damn her, anyway.
“We were just doing our jobs. Mike got sent home after that, and he began working here. His brother owns the place. Buck and I were kept apprised of his whereabouts, and when we ended up in Manhattan working for the Wolfes, we found him here, along with the best pizza ever.”
“So you’re a real-life hero,” I say.
“I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“Normally I wouldn’t neither,” I admit. “I don’t find the human race to be particularly heroic. At least not those I’ve interacted with.”
He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
“You brought Terry here.”
“I did, but only because I forgot to make a reservation for dinner, and Mikey always has a table for me.”
“Still…”
“It was nothing, Kelly. I’ve told you.”
“Then why did he have to mention it?”
“Damned if I know. You and Terry don’t look anything alike.”
“That’s for sure.”
“You’re way more beautiful than she is.”
“Do you have to do that?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Make me feel all…squishy, when I’m trying to be mad at you?”
“If you have to try, I must be doing something right.” He reaches across the table and pats my hand. “See? Not all humans are bad.”
“I know.”
“But I understand what you mean. I’ve seen some of the worst of humanity myself. But most are good. I hope you’re finding that out now.”
“It’s taken me a long time to accept that. I guess I always feel like someone has an ulterior motive.”
“Very few of us have ulterior motives.”
“So you don’t think Brindley is sending those messages?”
“I don’t. I really don’t. But if it will make you feel better, I’ll go with you to talk to her and we can confront her about it.”
“You would do that?”
“Of course. My job is to protect you. To do what you need.”
I pull my hand away. “Right. Just doing your job.”
He said he doesn’t have sex for the sake of sex. But I am his job. And sex is what I needed.
He was just doing his fucking job.
I don’t say much until the pizza arrives, along with some garlic knots.
Leif nods to me, so I take a garlic knot and place it on the small plate. Our server loads a gargantuan slice of pizza onto my bigger plate.
“You all know how to eat our pizza, right?” she says.
“Absolutely, Frankie,” Leif says. “I’ll be glad to teach my companion.”
“Yes, he’ll teach me,” I say, forcing a smile. “It’s his job.”
* * *
“Still not talking to me?” Leif says, as we enter the apartment building.
I simply shrug.
We whisk past security to the elevators. Then he grips my shoulders, forcing me to look at him.
“Kelly, I don’t know what the hell I did but—”
“Was sex with me part of your job?” I demand.
He cocks his head, drops his jaw. “Is that what this is about?”
“You said you’d go talk to Brindley with me because it’s your job. You said you’d do whatever I need you to do, because it’s your job.”
“It might interest you to know that my job description with the Wolfes does not include sex with you.”
“Yeah? It was what I needed at the time.”
“I didn’t make love to you because you needed it.”
“Make love?” I scoff. “I detest euphemisms, Leif.”
“Kelly, can we table this discussion? I already texted Brindley and told her we were coming to talk to her tonight. Please?”
I huff. “Fine. Let’s go talk to the bitch.”
I want to take back the word bitch, which is unlike me. I am changing, and though Macy and everyone else seem to think it’s for the better, I wonder if it truly is. I’m vulnerable now. So damned vulnerable—and I’m the most vulnerable to the man standing next to me.
The elevator arrives, and we get in, heading up to the fifth floor.
Brindley was moved from the fourth to the fifth floor at my request, and she was glad to go. Once the elevator arrives, we walk to her apartment—512.
“You sure about this?” Leif asks.
“Yes. I’m sure. Are you? Sure that this is part of your job description?”
He sighs and rolls his eyes. “Let’s get this over with.” He knocks on the door.
The door opens, and Brindley stands there. She’s a petite young woman with brown hair and brown eyes, a girl-next-door look about her. Very pretty, but not classically beautiful. A spray of freckles dances across her nose.
“Hello. Are you Leif?”
“I am. And of course you know Kelly.”
I don’t say anything.
“Come on in. I put out some cheese and crackers.”
Cheese and crackers? I’m full of pizza. And I hate the fact that the pizza was as delicious as Leif said it would be.
Leif steps back to let me enter first. I hold back my scoff. He is a gentleman, but then again… It’s all part of his job.
“Please have a seat.” Brindley gestures to her small living room.
I take a seat on the couch, and Leif sits next to me. Brindley pours us each a glass of water, setting them in front of us. “Help yourself to some food.”
“That’s kind of you, Brindley,” Leif says, “but Kelly and I just ate a huge dinner.”
Brindley’s cheeks redden. “I should’ve known. It is around dinnertime. But my mother always taught me to offer visitors food and drink.”
I resist an eye roll.
“You know why we’re here,” Leif says. “Kelly is still convinced that you have something to do with the messages she’s receiving.”
“I swear I haven’t.” She shakes her head, her eyes wide. “I would never do anything like that. You can search this place if you want. I have nothing to hide.”
“I don’t personally believe you’re involved,” Leif says. “I just don’t know how you can convince Kelly.”
Sure, Leif. Take her side. Take Terry to your special pizza place. Take care of everyone except me. I’m just your job.
Brindley sits down next to me, which makes me very uncomfortable. I’m just as close to Leif, but I don’t want Brindley in that bubble.
“Kelly, I have no idea what you’ve been through. And I’m so sorry for everything you’re still going through. But you have to believe me. I would never put any of you women through any more torment. We’ve all been through enough.”
I cross my arms. “You were only on that island for a few months.”
“I know. Still, I was subjected to the same abuse and torture.”
“For a lot less time.”
“Yes, and believe me, I’m grateful for that. So why would I want to torment any of you?”
“Indeed, why not?” I say with sarcasm.
“Kelly, come on.” From Leif.
I look at him.
I look at the handsome man who has made me feel things I never thought I was capable of feeling.
The man whose job it is to protect me.
The Ex-Navy SEAL. And he’s damned good at his job. The man who saved Mikey from dying alone, abandoned by his platoon.
Why am I so convinced it’s Brindley?
Because I was—am—envious of Brindley.
She was subjected to so much less torture than the rest of us were.
She denied it several times, but in my mind, she’d admitted it. I convinced myself Brindley was the culprit because she hadn’t suffered as much on the island. Perhaps I never heard fidgeting on my doorknob at night. Perhaps it was all a conjured mechanism to prove to myself that Brindley was behind the texts.
Because I needed someone to blame.
And because…
If it’s not Brindley?
Then I don’t know who it is.
And that scares me the most of all.