HARRY NOTICED THE strange atmosphere as soon as he walked in the NICU. Billy was progressing well, and baby Jude had been operated on successfully two days before. He’d had half a mind to ask the sister this morning to allocate both babies to Esther. Working with one midwife was easier than working with two, but that might have seemed a bit presumptuous. Oona didn’t strike him as a woman who liked someone else to try and influence her staffing.
There seemed to be lots of strange sideways glances, and he moved over to where Francesca was reviewing a new baby for surgery tomorrow. ‘What’s going on?’ he whispered.
She let out a low laugh. ‘Haven’t you heard? You and a—’ she glanced across the unit to where Esther was standing ‘—certain midwife are current persons of interest. I hear you got a little friendly with our feisty midwife.’
Harry let out a groan. ‘Oh no, where did that come from?’ He hated being gossiped about at work and had learned over the years never to do anything that put him in that position. It seemed he hadn’t paid attention to his own advice. That tiny flicker of fire that had flashed through his brain on the drive to work about having a little fun was quickly dying down to an ember.
‘Someone down in A&E told me,’ Francesca said. ‘So I take it that it’s true, then?’
He kept his gaze elsewhere. ‘Might be,’ he said noncommittally. The grin on Francesca’s face got wider. She touched his arm. ‘Connections, Harry. That’s good.’
He felt himself bristle as he moved over towards Esther to check on Billy.
He started to talk to her but she raised her hand. ‘Give me a minute.’
He was startled by her apparent brush-off and stood next to Billy’s crib as she walked swiftly away. She knocked on a door just away from him. ‘Jill, are you okay in there?’
When there was no answer she tried again. Heads started to turn in the unit. Esther’s voice wasn’t low.
She pulled a coin from her pocket and used it to turn the lock from the outside—a common trick in a hospital. She stuck her head around the door, then pulled it back out. ‘Put out an emergency call,’ she yelled as she squeezed through the gap in the door.
All the staff moved in unison, Harry included.
He ran straight over, grabbing an emergency trolley behind him. He stuck his head through the gap to see Esther already on the floor, pulling Jill towards her. Jill was collapsed just behind the door, blood pooling on the floor. Esther looked up at Harry. ‘I need a trolley.’
‘Possible PPH,’ he shouted to the staff. ‘Can someone find us a trolley?’
Once Esther had pulled Jill over, he slid behind the door after grabbing a few things from the trolley. That was the funny thing about hospital bathrooms—they always seemed a reasonable size until there was an emergency in one of them.
‘Does she have a pulse?’ he asked.
It didn’t matter that Harry’s speciality was tiny babies. All tiny babies had a mother and he’d dealt with more than his fair share of obstetric emergencies.
A loud buzzer sounded. The emergency call had gone out.
Esther looked up at him, her face pale. ‘Barely,’ she said, lowering her head to watch for the rise and fall of Jill’s chest. It was clear she was well versed in the protocols. Her fingers remained at Jill’s neck.
He ignored the blood on the floor. The volume was great, and he could see a large amount of clots. Jill had clearly come to use the bathroom when she’d collapsed.
‘How did you know?’ he asked Esther.
‘My gut,’ she replied. ‘I thought she looked off when she said she was going to the bathroom.’
In the few seconds it had taken her to say those words Harry had already inserted a cannula into one of Jill’s veins. When someone had lost so much blood it was important to try and replace body fluids as soon as possible.
They didn’t need to talk. Esther had already started running the gelofusine through the giving set.
Francesca appeared at the door, took one glance and handed in the bag and mask, which Harry started using. Jill was still breathing, but not nearly enough.
A few seconds later Esther shouted, ‘Connected,’ as she stood with the IV set, letting it drip through Jill’s vein rapidly.
One of the other midwives managed to get part way through the door and connect a BP cuff and monitor to try and get some reading from Jill. Two seconds later, Francesca was back, throwing some gloves towards Esther and Harry.
Harry snapped them on, knowing his trousers were already covered, as were Esther’s scrubs. It was impossible to miss the blood while they were kneeling on the floor.
‘Trolley,’ came another shout.
Robin, one of the hospital porters, slid through the gap in the door. The space in the toilet seemed smaller by the second. Someone had thought ahead. Robin was covered in a temporary theatre gown and a pair of gloves. He was slight, which was the reason he got through the gap, but before Harry could position himself differently to help, Robin bent down and picked Jill up in his arms. He stood back against the wall, allowing Esther to pull the door inwards and put it against the wall, letting him place Jill on the waiting trolley. At least seven other staff were poised outside, ready to spring into action. One of the midwives grabbed the IV bag from Esther’s hands and Francesca took over with the bag and mask, standing on the end of the trolley so she moved with it when it was dashed away.
Harry blinked and looked down. The thing about blood was, even a little could look like a lot when spilled on the floor. Oona appeared in front of them both. ‘I’ll call Housekeeping. Go clean up, you two. In fact—’ she looked Harry up and down ‘—stay there a sec. I’ll bring you both clean scrubs to change into, then hit the showers and change again. You can’t walk down the corridors looking like that.’
A few moments later Oona handed the scrubs in, along with a plastic laundry bag. Her mouth gave an almost smile. ‘I’m sure you’ll both cope with changing in front of each other.’
She knew. Rumours always spread fast in a hospital. Her voice carried as she started to walk away. ‘And, Esther, I’ll cover your patients. I know you’ll want to go and check on Jill.’
They stared at each other in stunned silence for a few seconds after the shocking event. Then Esther’s eyes started to fill. ‘Oh no...’ she said. He moved over and wrapped his arms around her. Every part of her body was trembling. His was too. He couldn’t pretend that what happened hadn’t shocked him. Of course it had.
Emergencies always occurred. But that didn’t mean that they didn’t impact on the staff.
Jill would be in better hands than his. He wasn’t an obstetrician. He was a neonatal surgeon. He wouldn’t be surprised if Jill was headed directly to Theatre.
Harry stayed exactly where he was. Oona appeared at the door with one of the housekeepers following behind her with a trolley laden with equipment, but Harry just shook his head wordlessly at her, and Oona gave a nod and retreated.
It was five minutes before Esther stopped crying, her breathing steadying. They were still chest to chest and her breathing fell into unison with his. She stepped back and wiped her face. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t bear the thought of something happening to Jill.’ She pointed to the door. ‘You’ve seen out there. She’s got no one. Billy’s got no one apart from her.’ The last few words broke her. Her hands still trembled. ‘Why didn’t anyone notice anything? Why didn’t I notice anything?’
He put his hand on her arm. ‘Jill might just have been a mother who had no symptoms, or maybe she had symptoms but didn’t want to tell us in case we told her she’d have to leave Billy’s side.’
There was a flicker of recognition in Esther’s eyes. It was clear she knew that was likely to be the truth.
She stared down at the bottom half of her scrubs, moving over to where the clean sets were sitting. She didn’t even look at him as she pulled her top over her head, replacing it with a clean one, then peeling the scrubs trousers from her legs. She ran some paper towels under the tap and wiped her legs before pulling on the clean set. Harry mirrored her moves, replacing his shirt and trousers with scrubs, and shaking his head at his shoes before dumping them in a plastic bag. They’d have to go in the disposal. He had spare shoes in his locker.
They stepped outside the bathroom. The NICU was silent, only the noise of a few monitors in the background. The housekeeper was standing to the side and disappeared silently into the messy bathroom behind them. Esther’s feet led her straight to Billy’s crib. She placed one hand on the plastic and leaned over, looking down on him. ‘Oh, honey,’ she whispered. ‘I’m going to go and find your mummy. I’ll make sure she’s okay.’
It was the look on her face that did it for him. He didn’t care that every set of eyes on the unit were currently on him. He would never leave a colleague who was upset like this at work.
Often in health care they recognised trauma for their staff and offered counselling or debrief sessions at a later date. But that would be for later, not for now.
He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her away. ‘Let’s get cleaned up properly. I’ll meet you outside the changing rooms once we’ve showered and changed and we’ll check on Jill.’
Esther didn’t speak on their long walk down the corridor and he noticed a few heads turn in their direction. He didn’t move his arm from her shoulders. He didn’t really care what people had to say. It was nobody’s business but theirs.
She turned to face him at the changing room door, her blue eyes meeting his. ‘Thank you,’ she said in a croaky voice, before lowering her head again.
‘No, thank you,’ he said, putting his fingers under her chin and tilting her head towards his. ‘You just knew. And you acted. Thank goodness. Jill could have been in the bathroom for much longer. She could have bled out completely. You acting on instinct made all the difference.’
He pressed his forehead down against hers. ‘Have faith, Esther. We got her in time.’
As they stood together her hands reached over and squeezed his. It was unexpected. Every move had been his. But this felt just right.
After a moment he reluctantly stepped back. ‘Meet you in ten,’ he said.
‘Meet you in ten,’ she repeated as she backed in through the changing room door.
Everything felt like her fault. Her head had been in the clouds, full of daises and unicorns, when her mind should have been firmly on the job.
Jill’s postnatal checks had been routinely carried out every afternoon since Billy’s admission, and she hadn’t complained of pain or discomfort that morning, so Esther had no reason to change the routine. Her bleeding had been within the normal range, and she’d displayed no obvious temperature. Her notes all said that her uterus was contracting as expected. But none of these things mattered to Esther. What mattered was that Jill had taken unwell while she’d been on shift. She wasn’t quite sure what it was that had triggered her bad feeling.
Had Jill pulled a face just as she’d closed the bathroom door? It had to have been something. Something that told her to go and check. And thank goodness that instinct had been there.
Stories of nurse, midwife and health visitor instinct were often described as old wives’ tales—similar to a mother’s instinct. But Esther didn’t believe that for a second. She’d witnessed too many incidents. Too many times there had been no explanation for a health care professional, or a mother, to check in on a patient or child only for them to discover something amiss, for there not to be some kind of explanation for it. One day she’d love to do a scientific study on it. But today was not that day.
She scrubbed her skin in the staff showers, watching the water turn from pale pink to clear. She rarely used these, preferring to shower at home. The hospital towels were always rough and slightly scratchy, so she dried quickly and redressed in yet another set of scrubs.
Harry had been so good to her. So nice. So supportive. It didn’t help that everyone had already been looking at them. It didn’t matter what the truth was; it was clear that others were assuming that more had happened between Esther and Harry than was true. She wasn’t quite sure whether to feel happy or sad about that.
Taking things fast in a relationship had never been Esther’s style.
She wasn’t even sure that Harry wanted any kind of relationship. She couldn’t even sort out her own feelings about it. They were from such opposite ends of the social spectrum. So much about him made her secretly a little mad. Money made life easy for people. And the ease of money just seemed to emanate from him. The voice, his stance, his clothes, even his attitude.
Esther was proud of herself, and her upbringing. Did she really want to associate with someone who, through no fault of his own, could make her feel less of a person? She didn’t need that. She didn’t want that.
But as she opened the door to the changing room she found Harry leaning on the wall opposite, answering a text on his phone. His white coat was back in place, along with new shoes and clean scrubs. Her heart gave a strange little flip. Making its feeling clear.
‘She’s in Theatre Five,’ Harry said quickly. ‘Come on.’
They waited nearly an hour before Jill’s obstetrician came out, her face serious. She stuck out her hand straight away. ‘Thank you, guys. My girl is only here because you both acted so quickly.’
Esther made a strange little sound at the back of her throat she was so relieved. She knew Dr Gillespie, the obstetrician, well but hadn’t been able to read her face at all as she’d walked towards them.
‘What happened?’ she asked.
Dr Gillespie pulled her theatre hat from her head. ‘Part of her placenta was retained. I’ve no idea why she hadn’t reported symptoms. Once we got her into Theatre I thought I was going to have to do a hysterectomy.’
‘Did you?’ asked Esther.
Dr Gillespie shook her head. ‘No, thank goodness. But I suspect she’ll need careful observation in any future pregnancies.’
Even though the news was still serious, Esther couldn’t help but smile. Jill was alive. She was safe. Billy still had a mum.
Dr Gillespie gave them both another nod, then headed back down the theatre corridor.
‘I need to go and tell the staff in NICU,’ said Esther.
Harry nodded. ‘Of course. Go ahead.’
A smile broke across her face. She stood up on tiptoes and kissed Harry on the cheek. ‘Thank you.’ She smiled. There was a little cough from someone who walked past.
Harry smiled too. ‘Let’s give them something to talk about,’ he said as he pulled her towards him.