Chapter Twenty-Five

 

The boys were sitting around Jimmy’s dining room table, a big messy pile of poker chips in the middle. Oliver chomped on a candy cigar. Toby had found a visor, and Jimmy was wearing a cowboy hat and a leather vest. Eric was rocking a corset top and a black feather boa. Their trash-talking and laughter rang off the walls.

I picked up my camera and got off a couple shots before it even occurred to me to evaluate my vision. I was weak with relief when I realized it was fine.

That meant it was time for some difficult conversations. I didn’t have a reason to stall anymore. The soreness was fading by the day, and now that I could use my camera again, there was no reason to keep treading water.

I left them playing and went to my room. Since the renovation was finished, I was allowed in my suite now. Turns out if you’re willing to pay enough, you can get pretty much anything done as quickly as you want it. What used to be an open stairway was now completely enclosed, floor to ceiling, with a thick wall of glass. There were also sturdy rails on both sides, from top to bottom. Jimmy had been leaving piles of pillows on the floor at the bottom, though, and I had to kick them aside every time I came down. It was ridiculous, but he wanted to keep me safe because he loved me. Every time I came down the stairs, I felt cherished.

I called Hawk. He surprised me by asking about my health first. “You don’t have to sound so shocked. I’m not a monster.” He paused. “They’re a business, Willa, and nothing matters more to my career than their success. Which means protecting it against everything, including you.” He let it sink in for a moment before he continued. “It also means wanting the best for them, which includes you.”

I was doodling on a pad of paper at my desk—mostly hearts and flowers. My artistic ability was definitely limited to photography. “I’m listening,” I said.

“It might be time for you to have a bigger role. You could train someone else to be their assistant, and you could be the tour manager. It would give you more time to practice your hobby.” I made an impatient sound, but I didn’t interrupt him. I was curious where this was going. “When they’re on tour or prepping for it, you’d work a lot of hours. When they’re recording, you’d have more time to yourself.” Then he added, “The clause against fraternizing would hold. If you’re a band employee, you’re keeping it professional.”

I thanked him for the offer and told him I’d have to talk to my family. He told me to call and schedule some time with him when I was ready.

Benny was next.

“You okay now?” he asked. “Jimmy said you took a tumble.”

“I’m getting there. Sorry I didn’t get back to you right away.”

“Are you also sorry you panicked and pretended there was something wrong with your phone?”

“I wasn’t ready to talk to you.”

“You’re ready now?”

“I’m ready to listen to what you have to say.” I tapped a rhythm on the desk with my pencil. “I’m not sure I’ll have an answer for you yet.”

He gave me the details. He’d written and was producing a theatrical musical, a rock opera. The production was in rehearsals now but, given who he was and his history of success, it was a safe bet it would land on Broadway. On top of that, Apostolic was going to launch a world tour to support their new album.

Benny wanted to hire me full-time as a photographer. I’d be paid an impressive salary to be his one-woman press corps. The PR for the theater production, and the program, advertising, and everything else involved. I would be a photographer. Not his assistant or his anything else. We’d negotiate rights to the photos, but apart from having first right of refusal to them, he was open to me selling what I could and taking pictures of whatever I wanted when he didn’t need me.

“The no-fuck clause isn’t industry-standard, Willa. In case you’re curious.” His voice was a dark purr.

“Why do you even know about that? It’s not public or any of your business.”

“That doesn’t matter. I’m just saying I won’t try to control you that way. Whatever you want, honey. If it’s me, I’m up for it. If it’s someone else in the band, no hard feelings.”

“It’ll be none of you.”

I’d walked right into it. “Ah, you’re so sure. Those rumors must be true too,” he said. “Interesting. I wouldn’t have picked a drummer for you.”

My cheeks got hot. “We’re not going to discuss that, but I’m sure your girlfriend will be glad that if I come to work for you, it’ll be only to work for you.”

“Interesting. There was a time when I’d have sworn you were into me,” he said. “Remember when we were in my room together? Me, you, and Jimmy? When you knocked me back on my bed and ground your—”

“That was ages ago,” I said.

He made a sound of disagreement. “It was just a few months ago, sweetheart. I guess time moves fast when you’re young.”

I bristled at the age comment. “I’m old enough to know that if that’s why you want me to work with you—”

“It’s not, but it would be a fun bonus.”

“Well, I was starstruck, and I’m over it. If we’re going to work together, it’s not going to be like that.”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Fair enough. I won’t bring it up again. If you change your mind—”

“I won’t. Let’s keep going. I have more questions. What’s your manager like?”

“My manager is delightful. You’ll love her.”

“Will I get time off?”

“No, you have to work 24/7. Yes, Willa. You’ll have time off. Jesus.”

I chewed on my lip. “Can I think about it?”

“Sure. For a few days. Let me know either way by the end of the week. I’ll have to hire someone else if it’s not going to be you.”

When I hung up with Benny, I sat in my office chair, watching a fat magpie hopping along the fence that divided Jimmy’s garden from his back neighbor’s. My window was cracked open for the fresh air, and the muffled sounds of kids playing danced through the air. Cars sent puddles splashing against the curb, and the soft, insistent rhythm of raindrops tapped against the window. The sounds of London.

Jimmy, Eric, and Oliver were playing a song downstairs, testing it out on Toby. The notes of their music and the timbre of their voices floated up the stairs, punctuated with bursts of laughter. The sounds of family.

I pictured being in New York with Benny. How long would it take me to adjust? Being on Broadway, working with actors—would I love it like I loved working with musicians?

This kind of opportunity wouldn’t come to me twice, but I didn’t know if I was willing to give up everything for it.

I heard footsteps on the stairs, and I turned in my chair as Toby came in. “Hey,” he said. “What’re you doing up here? Is your head okay?”

“Eh. Not bad. How’re you feeling? Everything okay?”

His eyes sparkled when he grinned at me. “Touché. I’m fine, you’re fine, nobody needs mothering. Come hang out with us. My trip is almost over. Jimmy wants to make us a big, belated Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow since we missed it, and then I have a late flight.”

“Is he going to cook?” The rain was coming down harder, so I closed the window.

Toby grinned. “I guess so. He wants us to include our favorites from when we were kids.”

I grimaced.

Toby was on the same page. “Yeah, I know. We didn’t have many traditional Thanksgiving dinners. I didn’t want to ruin it for him.”

“Mom used to do a big dinner.” I settled back into my chair. “You were too young to remember. For a few years there, we had the works. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, the whole thing. Ridiculous, since it was just the four of us.” I was quiet for a moment, remembering. “I miss us being a family.”

His gaze was serious. “I wish you’d heard these guys when they called me. Jimmy’s drama is one thing, but this wasn’t a schtick. He was genuinely panic-stricken. I didn’t talk to him, but I overheard him talking to you in the background. A running monologue of reassuring chatter the whole time, and he sounded ragged. You hadn’t woken up, but he and Oliver were taking turns talking to you next to your bed. Eric’s the one who called me.”

“Eric couldn’t have been there,” I said. “I bled. Eric can’t be near blood.”

“He was there. They were all there, and they were freaked the fuck out. I knew you guys had gotten close, but they were obviously more than coworkers or friends.”

“They’re my family now too,” I said quietly.

Toby grinned. “Yep. They are. You have an imperfect, sloppy, loving family. Of rock stars. This is not what I would have predicted for you, Willa, but life is funny.”

“I talked to Benny Walker,” I blurted. “The job he wants to offer me is even better than I imagined it would be.”

He laughed. “Could you have imagined a year ago where we’d be right now? Me back in school—”

“With a girlfriend.”

“With a hot girlfriend, and you juggling a bunch of musicians?” He got up and kissed the top of my head. “Life is funny.”

“Hilarious,” I said glumly. Juggling musicians sounded like a lot more fun than it was. The fact was that I was going to let someone down. I knew that if I quit my job, I could just … be here. It’s what Jimmy wanted. He would keep me. I could stay here and be Oliver’s girlfriend and Eric’s friend and Jimmy’s…whatever it was. But settling for that would mean letting myself down. My mom had been content to go to Bob and just hand over the reins. That might have worked for her, but it wasn’t what I wanted for myself. I wanted to create my art. I wanted to be heard.

“Go play with your new friends,” I said to Toby. “I’m going to make Jimmy a grocery list, and I’m going to find some recipes online because he has no idea what he’s getting himself into with this idea of a Thanksgiving dinner.”

Eric poked his head around the doorway. “Come on, Toby. Let’s play pool. Hey girl, you look good,” he said to me. “You’re feeling better; I can see it.”

“Eric, did you come to the hospital when I fell?”

“Yes, I was there,” he said carefully. “Do you not remember?”

“I do, but… I had some scrapes. Didn’t I bleed?”

He blanched. “Oy. Don’t remind me.”

I gave him a tight hug. He didn’t tower over me like Jimmy, Oliver, and Toby. He was taller than me, but it was a nice fit when I hugged him. “I love you, Eric.”

He gave me a squeeze. “I love you too, Willa.” When he released me, he held me at arm’s length and gave me a stern frown. “I bet I’ll also love American Thanksgiving food. Get to work on that list and stop mooning about.”

“I’m on it.”

He looked behind him and let out an exaggerated sigh. “So much for that. Here comes ya boy. Let’s get out of here, Toby. It’s getting crowded in here.”

Oliver smiled at me and flopped on my couch. He adjusted a pillow behind his head and crossed his hands on his belly. “Hi, Willa.”

“Make yourself at home.”

“Don’t mind if I do. Did you talk to Benny?”

“Yes.”

He sat up and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. His gaze was steady on mine. “All right.”

“Oliver—”

He held up a hand to stop me. His eyes appeared shiny, but he smiled at me anyway. “We can talk about it later. Let’s implement a variation of don’t-ask-don’t-tell. If you don’t tell me, I can’t tell Jimmy when he asks—and you know he will.”

I should have known Oliver would be able to tell I’d already made a decision. “It’s only because—”

His smile was sweet. “I get it.”

“I have to—”

“I know,” he said again. “When?”

“Soon.”

“All right. Let’s table it until after Thanksgiving. In the meantime, I owe you a date. Let’s do it.”

My heart made a funny jump. “We can’t.”

“We can, actually. We’re not talking about what we’re not talking about, but what we’re not talking about means we can.”

“What’ll we tell Jimmy?”

“That we’re sneaking. He’ll love it.”

I was wavering, but Oliver leaned closer. “Let’s do it, Willa. One perfect date before everything changes.”

“But… what if it makes everything even worse?”

He scoffed. “How could it?”

It was a fair question.

He put a hand on my knee. “I want you to do what’s best for you, whatever it means for you or for us. Before then, I want us to have gone out properly one time, so we’ll always have that.”

It was hard to think of a reason this was a bad idea. It was hard to think at all, actually, when he deployed his magic voice.

“Don’t overanalyze it. What do you want right now?”

“To go out with you.”

His smile lit up the room.

“Willa!” Jimmy bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. “Did you make a Thanksgiving foods list? Oliver, stop bamboozling her or whatever it is you’re doing up there! I need her to focus.”

Oliver captured my hands. “Come on, Willa. We can go right now. We’ll be back here tomorrow in time for Jimmy’s feast.”

“Toby’s here, and—”

“Jimmy wants to take him to the bar tonight anyway. They’ll never miss us.”

“Oh my God. I’m not sure I should allow that to happen. Poor Chelsea. If she only knew what goes on at a bar with Jimmy, she’d—”

“Willllllaaaaaaa!” Jimmy shouted. “Don’t make me come up there, you two!”

“Say yes,” Oliver urged again.

“Yes.”

He gave me a quick kiss. “You won’t regret it. Go pack. I have to make a few calls.”