As the train neared her stop in Connecticut, Lisa glanced at her watch. Her schedule was tighter than she liked. It wouldn’t do to be late her second day of work. If she were the boss, she’d fire herself.
Lisa shook her head, willing herself to stay focused and businesslike. Although she knew it would be a challenge, she couldn’t allow her emotions to overwhelm her. She pushed away the images of Robert in bed with Jessie—the sounds, the movements, the heat. Blinking, Lisa replaced them with more recent memories, better ones. Mark’s face brought a smile to her lips, but the thought of Gigi’s touch sent a chill down Lisa’s spine. But thoughts of Gigi were not appropriate for the coming confrontation. She needed to be all business.
Lisa knew Barnes Basics didn’t need her ongoing presence for its day-to-day operations. She was proud of the business her father had developed from nothing, but she hadn’t actively participated in the intricacies of its running for ages, leaving Robert at the helm. Lisa read all the reports she had been forwarded over the years, but rarely visited the office space she should have been filling.
She hadn’t felt needed at her own family company. Thinking about her new job at the deli, Lisa realized she actually felt needed there, and respected. She didn’t really need the money—she could always cash out one of the money market accounts that were in her name alone—but she did need the contact with people, and, as she was discovering, she needed to feel needed.
It was a relief when the train slowed, inching into the Fairfield Station. Lisa popped two aspirin she had in her purse as a headache started behind her eyes; it couldn’t take effect soon enough. Lisa disembarked and quickly hailed a taxi to take her the short distance to the Fairfield Inn, wishing she’d thought to ask Kelly to pick up her winter coat. Too bad her birthday didn’t fall in summer.
Despite arriving slightly earlier than expected, Lisa spotted Robert’s car in the parking lot. He’d stolen a march on her—arrived early to make the restaurant his territory. She took a deep breath before exiting the taxi, not knowing what to expect. Feeling sweat building on her palms, Lisa wiped them down the sides of her jacket. She had no intention of letting nervous tension get the better of her. As she walked in, Lisa saw Robert at a table in the rear before he saw her.
Damn. Despite all his shortcomings, Robert really was a good-looking man. Six feet tall, sandy blond hair and light brown eyes, he still had the athletic build she’d fallen in love with over twenty years earlier, but she no longer knew the man inside.
Robert didn’t look as tired or haggard as Lisa had hoped he would. But then the light bulb went off, and she had to hold back a chuckle. Why should he be upset? Lisa was the one who had recently left their marriage. Robert had obviously left it, in all ways that mattered, years ago.
Lisa guessed that his only interest in sustaining their charade of a marriage had been the fear of losing the money. It was ironic that she, who was enjoying the prospect of living on the wages from her job at the deli, held the purse strings to a multimillion dollar corporation. Lisa approached the table with her shoulders back, standing tall. Surprisingly, he did not stand up when he saw her. It seemed the prospect of divorce removed all former courtesies of the past.
“Hello, Robert, you look good.” Lisa extended her hand to shake his. A grimace crossing his face, Robert hesitated for a moment before taking hers.
“As do you. In fact you look better now than you have in a while.”
That hurt, but was to be expected. “Yes, I’ve made a change for the better.”
Lisa sat down opposite Robert. The waitress arrived almost immediately and they hastily ordered light meals with soft drinks. Lisa wouldn’t have minded something stronger, but anything that might lower her guard would not be wise at this point. She imagined Robert was using the same strategy.
Robert’s voice was seeded with anger. “So, what’s your plan now? Are you going to enter a convent, which would be rich since you’re not Catholic? Or maybe you’re off on safari to Africa; you’ve spoken of that before. Maybe I should go off somewhere. Oh, wait, I can’t go anywhere because you took all the money when you ran off like a child, and you froze all the rest.”
Lisa closed her eyes briefly, calling up images of her children to help her remain calm and focused. “Sorry to inconvenience you, but I had to protect our assets. I don’t have any specific plan at the moment. What I do know is, moving back here to Connecticut, with you, is definitely out of the question.” Lisa was grateful for the brief distraction when the waitress brought over their drinks. She thanked her and took a sip of her iced tea, collecting her thoughts before saying anything more.
“And what are you doing? Spending all your money on a hotel and clothes? You left without taking anything, so I’d imagine you’ve had quite the little shopping spree.” Robert raised an eyebrow.
“Don’t you dare patronize me.” Lisa bit her lip and plowed ahead. “I did what I had to do under circumstances you forced upon me. Honestly, Robert, cheating was bad enough, but did you have to bring her to our home? Were you trying to get caught? And, by the way, your apology for screwing up my birthday can come whenever you’re ready. It’s two weeks past due.”
“Well, you won’t get an apology from me.” Robert smirked and began to drink his sparkling water.
“I’d imagine not. I haven’t had an apology in years, although thinking back I’ve been owed quite a few.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Lisa was pleased to see Robert’s smirk quickly fade. “Robert, playing the abandoned husband does not suit you at all. I may have been blinded by day-to-day living when I was in the thick of it, but I’ve taken stock of our past.” Lisa paused and rested her hands on the table, grounding herself. Lisa knew she was entering territory that had shaken the core of her formerly stable existence. “It suddenly dawned on me, without too much intense reflection, that you’ve been sleeping with other women for years.”
Robert wisely refrained from responding; Lisa wasn’t just spewing random and unfounded accusations. Pinning him with a look, she continued, “Jessie wasn’t the first. I don’t know how many were one-night stands, brief flings, or full-fledged affairs, but I do know that for years, you’ve had no physical connection with me at all. And now I know why.”
“I would say the same goes for you,” Robert retorted.
“What the hell are you talking about?” While Lisa kept her voice down, she could feel the hairs standing on the back of her neck. “I never cheated on you.”
“No, you never cheated, but you were never that great.”
Lisa ignored the sting of that remark. “Robert, you weren’t that great yourself. But I had children to raise and I honored the promise I made when we got married.”
“Well, maybe you should have left years ago.”
“Maybe so. Better late than never, don’t you think?”
“What!” Robert’s eyes widened.
“Did you think attacking me and belittling my performance in bed would entice me to return to our clearly dysfunctional marriage?”
For a moment, he looked as sulky as Chris had in the terrible twos. “So what are you going to do, play house with someone else? Who else will want you at your age? Women over forty aren’t at the top of the list for most men, unless they’re eighty.”
Lisa laughed at the inanity of his statement. “Why are you so worried about my needs now, when it’s too late? You never did before.” Lisa paused, taking another sip of her drink. “I plan to get a divorce as rapidly as possible. On my way here, I signed the papers to let Jim file. And if you don’t piss me off too much, I’ll probably let you have more than our prenup states you’re allowed. Hell, I may even let you keep your job if you don’t make any more ridiculous attempts to pad your expense account.”
Robert sat silently. His eyes narrowed. Lisa realized this was the first time Robert had ever seen this side of her. She was no longer the sweet, bubbly person he had married and lived with for over twenty years. Lisa smiled, feeling like a dynamo. Then she noticed Robert’s expression, and was shocked. He actually looked like he wanted her. Now, of all times!
“When did you wake up and start thinking for yourself?” he asked.
“The moment I realized I had to—because I couldn’t trust the man I’d married.”
Lisa stopped talking as their lunches were served. Even though she was angry, she realized where Robert’s question was coming from. When her father died, so soon after her mother, it changed her. She had needed Robert more, but he hadn’t been able to give her any emotional support. Instead, he turned away and found excitement elsewhere. But she couldn’t tell him this—not now. Now he was her adversary, not her partner.
As the waitress left, she continued. “Well, guess what, Robert, you weren’t as clever as you thought you were. You fucked up. We both did.” A little shocked by her own language, Lisa couldn’t stop her momentum; there was too much anger behind it. “You fucked me over, and by doing so you fucked up our marriage for good.”
Robert sat up straighter in his chair, wearing a strange grin on his face. “You were bland and totally unresponsive. Is that what you want me to say in open court?”
Lisa was shaken by the stranger sitting opposite her. She had plenty of ammunition to retaliate with, but it wouldn’t earn her any points in court to share the news that she was now having blissfully heated orgasms with others. “Don’t threaten me. I know our sex life might come up if you fight me on the divorce. Just keep in mind, I could say you had no idea where my clitoris was—or what it was.”
Ha! Now Robert looked as uncomfortable as she felt.
“And nothing but the money was forcing you to stay. I didn’t make you cheat, Robert. As far as our sex life is concerned, if you had been honest with me, maybe we could have avoided this and done something about it. Instead, all I see when I look at you is someone who didn’t care about me enough to help me when I lost interest in life; someone who repeatedly hurt me instead.”
Robert had the decency to drop his attack and try to look contrite. “Look, Lisa, is there any way we can repair this? Get back to where we were.”
She shook her head. “I have no intention of ever going back to where we were. Where we were was an oblivious, unhappy wife with a sneaking cheat of a husband. And to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t ever want to become that mousy person again, and I don’t want that lousy, inconsiderate lover back, either.”
“And what about the kids? This is killing Chris.”
Lisa wondered when Robert would play that card. “It’s not killing Chris. He just bought into all the bullshit about us being a wonderful family of four with no problems. It’s kind of funny, since he and Kelly knew you fucked around long before I was ever aware of your little hobby.” Lisa surprised herself at the choice of language she was using, but somehow it fit. She was beginning to understand why Kelly found foul language quite appropriate at given times.
Robert winced at Lisa’s declaration. “They did not. I would never expose them to that.”
“Well, guess what, Mr. Discreet, the only person who didn’t know about your activities was me. Kelly and Chris both admitted it, and they’ll both get over our divorce.”
“This is totally insane!” Robert quickly lowered his voice. “Where are you staying? We should try harder to work this out. Maybe we can make things better than they were.”
Robert looked sincere, but Lisa knew better. “If I thought they could be better, or if I thought I could ever truly trust you again, I would try. But I just don’t see it.”
“Lisa, be reasonable—”
At that point Lisa forgot herself. Not realizing how loud her voice was, she blurted out, “Oh, hell, Robert! Why would I come back to you? You never even gave me a decent orgasm!” Robert went white with shock, looking around at their spellbound audience—the whole damned dining room
Lisa buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten angry enough to explode, and at such an inappropriate volume.
Before she dared to look, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Kelly hovered above her. “Nice going, Mom. I don’t think the Fairfield Inn will ever live that one down.”
“Shit!”
“Surprise. Chris and I were able to get here earlier than we thought.”
Feeling the heat in her face, Lisa looked from one child to the other and then back to Robert. She mumbled, “Oh my God.” Stabbing a radish from her salad, Lisa stuffed it in her mouth. At least that would keep it shut for a minute.