NELL ROSE PUT THE FINISHING touches on the paper she’d written for her art appreciation class. She had to be at the bakery in fifteen minutes, but it was just a five-minute drive from her apartment, so she had time. Valentine’s Day meant big business for Alice’s Bakery, where Nell Rose worked part-time making cakes, cupcakes, muffins and decadent brownies. She wasn’t earning nearly as much as she had when she’d been working at the law firm, but she had some savings to draw on, and strangely enough, she was happier than she’d been in a long time, certain parts of one particular weekend excluded.
Well, most of the time she was happy. As long as she kept herself so busy between classes and baking and drawing that she didn’t think too much about Julian Maddox, she was peachy.
He should be completely out of her mind by now. After all, she was making a new life for herself, one filled with activities she loved, her friends and her father. A couple of guys from school had asked her out, and from what she could tell at first glance they weren’t losers. But she wasn’t interested. They were pale, not physically but in her mind’s eye. None of them could hold a candle to Julian.
After the New Year’s excitement, she’d gotten back to town just in time to sign up for the winter semester. She was taking a couple of art classes, as well as a history class, and she loved it. Between school and baking, her days were so full she usually fell into bed exhausted at night. There was no time for a man, and for the first time in her life, she didn’t want one. No, that was wrong. The truth of the matter was, she didn’t need a man. It didn’t bother her to go to a party alone anymore. She didn’t mind listening to her married friends talk about their husbands and their kids. This was her life and she was determined to make the best of it. Until she had her head on straight, how could she even think about adding a man to the mix? She was no longer willing to settle for any male who might be deemed acceptable; she was never again going to settle for anything but the best. Right now she was still convinced that Julian Maddox was the best, and until that passed…
For the first time in years, she wasn’t depressed that she was single for Valentine’s Day.
Nell Rose wasn’t sure she’d ever again trust a man enough to really let him into her life. She was still too hurt by Julian’s betrayal—which didn’t make a lot of sense, since she’d known him for a much shorter time than she’d known Bill or any of the other men she’d cared for in her past. Like it or not, the man she barely knew was the one who’d hurt her the most.
He’d saved her, too, but that didn’t entirely make up for believing Marcus’s claim that she was a fruitcake who’d lied her way into his bed. That was just his inner cop coming out to play. Nothing more.
Maybe if she embraced her art and her baking and her single existence, she’d reach the point where she honestly, truly didn’t care if she had a man or not. There was more to life; there was more to her. Maybe when she was entirely independent, her love life would miraculously fall into place.
Yeah, right.
When the doorbell rang she closed the file on her computer and snatched up her purse on the way to the door. She had to scoot. She glanced through the peephole and saw nothing before her but a profusion of red roses.
Wrong apartment. She’d find out who the roses were for and point the poor delivery guy in the right direction. There had been a time when she might feel a bit of envy that those flowers were not for her, but that wasn’t the case today.
She opened the door, the roses were lowered and there stood Julian. Nell Rose was so shocked she stutter-stepped back a bit, but her eyes never left his face. He was just as she remembered. Handsome, hard, steely-eyed and observant. And just that glance, his gaze catching hers, was enough to grab her deep down. On the heels of surprise, she felt a rush of anger. How dare he do this to her?
“I wrecked my car in your ditch,” he said casually. “Can I come in?”
“I don’t have a ditch, and no, you can’t come in. What do you want?” she asked, sounding more shrewish than she’d intended. But honestly, how did one greet the man who’d made her fall in love, broken her heart, kicked her to the curb and then saved her life?
His eyebrows lifted slightly. “These are for you.”
She didn’t take the roses. “You didn’t drive five hours to hand-deliver flowers.”
“What if I did?”
The truth hit her. She knew why he was here. He was lonely; she was easy. At least, he thought that was the case. He didn’t know yet that she had changed. “No thanks. I don’t want flowers from you.”
He didn’t even look surprised. “Candy? Dinner?”
Frustration bubbled up. “Aren’t there any women in Tennessee? Or have you already screwed your way through the locals and now you’re forced to drive to another state looking for sex?” Belatedly, she looked down the hall for nosy, eavesdropping neighbors. Thank goodness, she didn’t see any. “Well, I hate to tell you,” she said in a lower voice, “but I’ve changed. You’ve wasted a trip because you’re not getting anywhere near me.” She didn’t trust as quickly as she once had, and she sure as hell didn’t trust Julian Maddox.
He remained calm. “It’s more than that. Much more. The truth is, I can’t get you out of my head. I’ve tried, but something happened between us that weekend, and I’m not ready to give you up.”
“Maybe I’m ready,” she whispered, sounding more vulnerable than she’d intended. “Maybe there was never anything to give up.” She shook off her surprise. “Dammit, you gave me up when you kicked me out of your house! Look, I’m late for work. Thanks for the flowers, but…no thanks. I’m going to close the door, and when I open it again I expect you to be gone.” She closed the door; she shut her eyes and took four long, deep breaths. A part of her wanted to throw open the door and chase Julian down and beg him to come back, but she didn’t. She couldn’t.
When she opened the door again, she was both relieved and incensed to see that Julian was not gone. The roses hung from his hand, no longer presented toward her. The expression in his eyes—determination, yearning, even pain—was what got to her.
He truly wanted her, or at least thought he did. She couldn’t let him do this to her; couldn’t allow him to make her care and then pull the rug out from under her again. How many times could she survive this kind of hurt? Julian was the one man in the world who could break her heart to the point where it would never recover.
“Give me five minutes,” he said. “After that, if you still want me to go—I will.”
NELL ROSE RELUCTANTLY STEPPED back and allowed Julian into her apartment. Art supplies were spread over a small dining table and schoolbooks had been set on one end of the couch. He already knew about the job change and her schooling. He also knew she wasn’t seeing anyone, though she could’ve been out with a different man every night, if it suited her. He’d also found out that her chocolate cupcakes were a new bestseller at Alice’s Bakery. So, who was the stalker now?
His own stalker had been caught—if you could call a fourteen-year-old girl with too many piercings, a black wardrobe and a vampire fetish a stalker. The poor kid had holed herself in her room every night and written letter after letter to writers, singers and actors whose work might be considered dark. She was mixed-up but harmless, and besides, her fixation with a particular actor was much more intense than her minor obsession with a writer who lived an hour or so up the road.
And now he was the one obsessed. Nell Rose was rightfully pissed with him; he could see it in her eyes and in her stance—in those protective arms crossed over her chest. But he hadn’t been able to get her out of his head. He dreamed about her. The heroine in his latest novel had taken on several Nell Rose-like characteristics. No matter where he went in his house, he saw her. He felt her. He was lost without her; the house was too empty without her in it. Even though it was very possible she would reject him, he had to give it a shot.
He only had five minutes. “Paul showed me a crumpled-up piece of paper from the cabin.”
Nell Rose blushed. “Marcus forced me to write a fake suicide note. I hope you didn’t read too much into that note because I didn’t mean a word. It was…fiction.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“Well, one of us should be,” she shot back, and then she glanced at her watch. “You’ve got three-and-a-half minutes left.”
Where was the line between tenacious suitor and scary-ass dude? He wanted Nell Rose, he was willing to fight for her…but there was a line he couldn’t cross. Somehow, he had to convince her to give him a chance. Now.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“I suppose everyone needs a good laugh now and then,” she responded.
Julian tossed the roses onto her couch. Playing it safe wasn’t going to get him anywhere with Nell Rose. If he kept beating around the bush she was going to toss him out, close herself off…and he couldn’t let that happen.
Time was running out. “I’m looking for a house in Birmingham.”
Nell Rose took a step back, away from him. “Why?”
“Because you’re here and I can write anywhere, and it would be difficult for me to give you everything you’ve ever wanted if we’re not living in the same state.” He didn’t mean to sound testy, but chasing after a reluctant woman was new to him, and he was already frustrated.
Her eyes narrowed, and he saw something he liked there. Hope. “What are you talking about?”
“You’re going to make me say it?”
She nodded.
“Fine.” He closed in on her, and this time she didn’t back away. “I never should’ve let you go. It was a mistake, the biggest I’ve ever made. I constantly wonder what I could’ve done differently, how I might’ve convinced you to stay. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since you left.”
“Not anything else?”
“Getting you naked has also crossed my mind a time or two.”
She sighed. Her body seemed to unwind a bit. “Just a time or two?”
“I’ve been thinking about you and me pretty much constantly, if you must know the truth.” Might as well lay it all on the line. If he lost, it wasn’t going to be because he held back.
It was her hint of a smile that gave him hope of his own. That and the ease of her shoulders, the unclenching of her hands, the way she dropped her arms to her side.
“But you believed Marcus when he told you I was a stalker. How am I supposed to forget that?”
“I was an idiot. I wish I could tell you that I’ll never be an idiot again, but I can’t. You’re just going to learn to live with it.” He put his arms around Nell Rose and leaned down to kiss her. The kiss wasn’t as thorough as he’d like, but it was a start. She kissed him back, and then her mouth eased away from his. Nell Rose was an open book, her face revealed everything, and he saw her uncertainty…and more.
“Look, Nell Rose, we’ll take this as slow and easy as you’d like, but the truth of the matter is, I’m not going anywhere until you tell me that there’s no chance for us. To be honest, you’ll probably have to tell me more than once. I can be determined when I really want something, and right now what I want is you.”
She tilted her head to one side; the firmness of her lips eased. “That all sounds very nice, very romantic, but I have to wonder if you really mean it.” A touch of determination flickered in her eyes. “Will I scare you away if I tell you that I fell in love with you that weekend? Will you head for the hills if I tell you that l fell head over heels almost at first glance? You can’t play with me, you can’t say you want me and then change your mind. You broke my heart, and still, when I think about what I want from my life, I see you in it. You say you want to give me what I want, but do you know what that is? Do you really? I want a husband who’ll be there every night. I want to be a mother who paints and bakes and dotes on her children. Yes, children. I want at least four. Maybe five. I want to take vacations to Disney World and throw elaborate birthday parties for the kids, with clowns and ponies. I want…”
“Are you trying to shock me?” Julian asked with a touch of humor.
“Yes. Is it working?” Her eyes widened slightly.
“No.” He drifted closer to her, took a deep breath to take in the scent that was hers, and hers alone. He hadn’t known it was possible to miss a person as much as he’d missed her. He hadn’t known it was possible to love so much. “I know exactly what you want, and that’s what I want, too. I want it because what scared the hell out of me in the past looks different when I imagine it through your eyes. I’ll take it all, even the damn clowns. Is there anything else you’d like to add before I kiss you again?”
Nell Rose sighed and fell into Julian. He saw her surrender; he could feel to the bone that she was giving in to him, just as he had completely given in to her. “There’s just one thing I’d like to add.” She looked up at him and smiled. “Hang on to your hat, because slow and easy have never really been my thing.”