Being out of prison was the best feeling I’ve ever experienced. No more count times and mail calls, no more perverts and baby rapers, gone are the fake thugs and “on accident killers.” All that bullshit wears down on a nigga. It makes you ask yourself, was it really worth it? Hell, motherfucking no! No amount of money could replace the years taken out of my life. Living in a cage aint no kinda life for nobody. My plan is to take the paper I got left, and go legit. Once you get legit paper on your side, them motherfuckers in blue can go kiss somebody’s ass. It’s the only way to remove yourself from the huge conspiracy to enslave and oppress, because that’s all prison really is; organized slavery. If anybody tells you any different, then they’re either blind, or just stupid. Tell em to read the fine print and stop looking at the pictures. I hadn’t really decided on exactly what I was going to invest in, although I was leaning heavily towards a grown and sexy night spot. Promotion and location would be the key. Seven days a week, free all night for the ladies on the week-end. Everybody knows the real moneys made off the bar anyway. Legit trapping. My main concern would be to keep the young niggas out. Young, dumb, niggas will get your shit shut down every time. But with a grown and sexy spot, where men would have to be at least twenty- seven to make it through the door, I’d be avoiding a lot of the young boy bullshit, and significantly increasing my chance at success. Ladies of course would be admitted at eighteen, with arm bands for the under twenty-one. Wherever the chics is at, that’s where the niggas will be. Making it free for the ladies on the week-ends, they’d definitely be up in the spot. That’s extra money for them to save and spend on weave, outfits, pedicures or whatever. They already know that once they’re in the house and looking good, horny ass niggas will keep em showered with drinks. All this ran through my mind as I walked up to the bar and ordered a double shot of Henny. “No Ice!” I had to yell over the NAS joint “Ether” that blasted through the speakers. Nobody had noticed me and that was a plus. My Duke Blue Devil fitted hat pulled low, with my flight jackets collar flipped up, kept me incognito. That is, until a female voice screaming over the music brought my attention to alert. “Banks!… Banks!… Banks is that you!” Through my peripheral vision, I could see that the person calling out to me was none other than Tamia. She was standing right beside me in open toe stilettos, with form fitting Seven Jeans showing off her “Straight Stuntin” phat ass. I kept my back to the dance floor with my face staring down into my drink on the bar, hoping she’d go away. Now don’t get me wrong. Tamia was a delicious fuck, but she was also what I would sum up in one word as, “CRAZY!!!” Tamia and I had a fucked a few times, a year or so before I got locked up. But after about the fourth or fifth time we got together, I started to lose interest. No, it wasn’t anything personally that she’d done, because like I said she actually had some good pussy. It was just that I had so much on my plate at the time. The crazy shit started with her blowing up my phone damn near every night asking me to come and scoop her. And almost every night I’d have to tell her “not tonight” I’m out getting money. Although she was no more to me than an every now and then smash out, she started telling chics that she was my girl, calling me crying and shit asking me why was I treating her so badly. Immediately I thought to myself, “Oh shit! This broad is nuts!” I’d block her number and she’d simply call me from different numbers. It got so bad that if I didn’t recognize a number, I wouldn’t answer my phone. This was costing me mega-dollars because most of my coke sells called me from different numbers and locations. I was missing money hand over fist trying to duck Tamia’s psycho ass! The straw that broke the camels back, was when one Sunday afternoon she popped up over my mom dukes crib and told her that she was waiting on me upon my request. Mom dukes not knowing any better; and knowing how many different broads I fucked with on the regular, took it on face value that she was telling the truth and thought nothing else of it. As soon as moms walked outta the room, Tamia snatched up the phone and dialed my number. At the time, I was butt naked on a thick bitch’s bed with my balls in her mouth. At first, I tried to ignore the ringtone of my phone. But it would stop for a minute, then start right back up again, leading me to believe that it just might be important. I glanced over at my phone laying on the nightstand and saw that it was my mom dukes hitting me. “Hold up baby I gotta get this,” I told the ball sucking broad and still had to damn near yank my nuts outta her mouth! She smacked her lips and flopped down on the bed.
“Turn that thing off,” she pouted.
“You better shut the fuck up! This my mama!”
“Oh I’m sorry Banks.” She knew when I was serious and chose on these occasions to just shut the fuck up.
“Yeah ma what’s up?” I answered my phone.
“Baby when you coming to see me?” Immediately I recognized Tamia’s voice coming across the phone line and my blood started to boil! How in the hell did this psycho chic get inside my mom’s crib! “I miss you Banks,” Tamia went on before I had a chance to speak.
“Stay right there, I’ll be there in a minute,” was all I said before I hung up and began to throw on my clothes.
“Where you going boo?” Ms. headhunter whimpered.
“I gotta go take care of some business. Hit me up later,” I answered rushing out the door of her apartment. As soon as I reached my mom’s house, I got Tamia, put her in my car, and told her how it was. “Look Tamia, I like you and all that, but you are not my girl and you never will be! I can’t fuck wit you no more! I want you to stop calling me and leave me the fuck alone! You crazy!” Immediately tears sprang from her eyes as she pleaded for forgiveness.
“I’m sorry daddy! I’ll do better I promise! Don’t leave me please! Please don’t leave me Teddy!” She cried out hysterically while reaching for my arm.
“I don’t want you!” I screamed yanking my arm away from her. You are not my girlfriend and I do not need one! Now get the fuck outta my car and don’t call me no more!”
“Teddy please!’
“Get ooutttt!!!” My anger threatened to erupt as I reached across her and flung open the passenger side door! A light rain had started, but without another word, Tamia climbed from the car and stood on the curb weeping. For just a brief second I felt sorry for her, as the raindrops got larger and I watched her getting soaked outside my window. But I’d trained myself to be cold. Growing up in the Bull City you learn quickly that you have to be, if you want to survive. If not, you’d soon find yourself being ran down and eaten like the slow zebra in the pack. Lions, tigers, wolves, take your pick; but the streets of Durham are full of em all. That’s before I even start talking about the rats and the snakes! So just as quick as I’d allowed myself to feel pity for her, my heart ran cold once more, I turned my head and pulled the fuck off.. Three weeks later she started calling my phone again. On the third call, I answered prepared to blast her ass out! “Tamia I…!”
“I’m sorry daddy.” Her whispered words cut me off and at the same time caught me off guard.
“Look Tamia. If you want us to have a chance at being together then this is what I need for you to do. Give me some time. Some space. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.” I was fully prepared for her to go into another hysterical fit, but to my surprise she simply said,
“Yes daddy. I’m sorry,” and hung up the phone.
That was the last time I’d seen Tamia until now. She’d written me twice while I was locked, asking for permission to come visit me but I never responded. Now, right beside me tonight, she was standing here looking good as a motherfucker! I never accused her of being ugly. In fact, Tamia was a tasty shade of pecan tan without a scratch or blemish on her body. Her hair was long, black, and all natural, while her eyes were the color of brown sugar. She’d already been the benefactor of a beautiful body, but now with the passing of time, her hips were much rounder and her breasts looked ripe with milk. And I could see all this from the corner of my eye! I was still facing the bar trying desperately not to make eye contact. I will admit that my body was deceiving me though, because my dick was as hard as a brick! Obviously, it hadn’t forgotten Tamia even if I was trying to. Of course, me and wifey had been fuckin and sucking each other’s brains out since I’d gotten home two days ago, but four years is a long time for a nigga that’s used to fucking on the daily. Shit sometimes two and three chics a day! So you know my sex starved hormones were outta fuckin control! I couldn’t get enough pussy! Or head! Turning to face Tamia, I was unexpectedly hit with a feeling of pity. I knew I’d hurt her feelings. I just didn’t know if I gave a fuck. Taking off the Ray Bans that I wore to add to my cover, I straightened up and looked Tamia directly in the eye. Upon her recognition that it was me that she was truly looking at, her eyes lit up like the high beams on a Cadillac, before she jumped and threw her arms around my neck, hugging and squeezing me damn near to death! Then, just as quickly as she’d latched onto me, she let go abruptly as if embarrassed.
“I need to talk to you. Can we go somewhere and talk?” Tamia stared up at me hopefully after her plea.
“Tamia right now I aint really tryin…”
“I just wanna talk Banks, that’s it,” she cut me off with a stern look.
“Can’t it wait till some other time?”
“Until when Banks? Till you call me? I been waiting almost five years for that,” she said stubbornly with her hands right back on her wide hips. When she put it that way, all I could do was laugh at her sarcasm. At least she hadn’t lost her spirit. She’d definitely grown up some, and I thought, “What the hell?” I’d snatch up a bottle of Hennessy and take it in early. There’s always tomorrow.