Isobel flipped the bacon over in the pan and checked the toast. It popped up just as she reached for the button and she jumped. Telling herself not to be so jittery, she pulled it out and quickly spread it with butter, just the way Nigel liked it.
A headache had begun behind her eyes. It had been there since she’d woken. Having spent an uncomfortable night with Nigel snoring on top of her, she’d barely managed to doze between bouts of consciousness where she’d gone through her plans to leave—over and over. Now the sun was up and the birds were singing. Soon it would be time to put her plan into action. The thought made her tense. Nausea swirled in her stomach.
“Why the hell didn’t you wake me? I’m going to be late for my rounds,” Nigel grumbled by way of greeting.
She smiled and prayed he couldn’t tell it was forced. “Good morning. You got in so late last night, I thought you might appreciate the extra sleep.”
He stared at her with narrowed eyes, as if deciding whether to trust the concern in her voice. His gaze skimmed over her injured lip and then skittered away. She picked up the plate of bacon and eggs and a separate plate with the toast and set them at his usual place at the table.
“I don’t have time for breakfast.” He looked back toward her and a sneer curled up his lip. “Besides, it looks like shit.” With that, he turned his back to her, picked up his briefcase and jacket and left.
Isobel stared after him, a little taken aback. He’d been rude to her on many occasions and had often made derogatory comments about her cooking, but it was usually when he was spoiling for a fight. She touched her finger to her bruised lip from the night before.
He’d returned home full of remorse, but any guilt he’d felt in those dark hours had dissolved in the light of day. It had never been like that before. Normally he was full of sorrow and repentance for his bad behavior—at least for a few days after an assault. The fact that he’d gotten over this one so quickly was a strange new development and one that was more than a little alarming.
“Yum, have you cooked bacon?”
Isobel turned to see Ben wandering into the kitchen, his hair all askew. She smiled and bent down to hug him.
“Good morning, honey. Yes, I made bacon and eggs for Daddy.”
Ben cast a wary gaze around the kitchen. “Where is he?”
“He had to leave for work, baby. He didn’t have time to eat.”
His expression cleared. “Can I have it?”
“You certainly may.” She removed the plate from the table and took it over to the counter to cut into more manageable pieces. She transferred some of the food to a smaller plate and took it back to Ben. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, Mom.” He looked up at her and once again, his expression grew taut and troubled. “What happened to your lip? It’s all red and puffy. Is that from last night?”
She averted her face and tried to think of an answer. “I… I…”
“Did Dad hit you again? It was scary last night to wake up to hear you fighting.”
He said it so matter-of-factly Isobel felt an immediate rush of tears. She did her best to blink them away and quickly changed the subject. “Is Soph up yet?”
“Yeah. I think she’s in the bathroom.”
Isobel glanced at the clock that hung on the kitchen wall above the sink. It was going on for eight. She thought of what Mason said about having twelve hours before Nigel realized they were gone and felt a fresh wave of nerves. Every minute they wasted took them closer to the time Nigel would return and discover her betrayal.
And that’s how he’d see it. And why wouldn’t he? She was walking out on her marriage. She’d sworn to love him in sickness and in health, for better or worse, ’til death did they part. At the time, she couldn’t imagine how bad it would get, but the thought that she was about to irrevocably break her vows filled her with sadness and guilt. She was about to split up her family and after taking the first step there would be no turning back. All of a sudden, she was paralyzed with indecision again.
Perhaps she should try harder to make him happy? Maybe she could try again to convince him to seek professional help? They had two children to consider. Was it fair to deprive them of their dad?
The questions tumbled around inside her head until she wanted to scream out loud. It was only Ben’s presence at the table that stopped her.
“Did Dad promise he wouldn’t hurt you anymore?” The words came out of nowhere and she gasped.
“He was in a hurry to get to work, honey. It’s up to me to change things,” she said, buying time.
“You said last night you’d make sure he didn’t yell at you anymore. I wondered if you’d asked him not to hurt you, too.”
Past scenes of violence that seemed like an endless horror movie scrolled through her head. She closed her eyes against the pain of it. Her heart thumped like it did when she and Nigel were in the middle of another fight and all of a sudden her determination from the night before solidified.
If she didn’t go now she’d have no hope for a future. She’d forever be a victim and the victimization would continue until she could no longer recognize it for what it was. Either that, or she’d be dead. If she lost her nerve now, she’d lose her chance for any kind of normal life with her children. There was no question that she had to leave.
“Listen, honey, can you finish up here and go and get dressed? We’re going out today.”
“Where to?”
“Um… We’re going to a friend’s house.”
“Will there be other kids?”
“No, Ben, but I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”
“Who—?”
“Honey, I really need you to hurry. Just finish what you’re eating and go and get changed. I want to leave in fifteen minutes.”
He looked like he wanted to ask more questions, but eventually gave a shrug. A moment later, he slid off his chair and padded back the way he’d come.
Hurrying now, she cleared away the plates and pans and quickly stacked the dishwasher. Out of habit, she switched it on. Not that she’d be here to unpack it. Nigel would have to learn how to do it.
She imagined Mason would be a little handier around his place. She didn’t know how long he’d been divorced, but he now lived on his own. She presumed he’d picked up at least a few tips on the basic domestic activities of daily living.
The thought of staying in his apartment suddenly brought her movements to a stop. What would happen when he got tired of playing host to her and her children? They weren’t his family, after all. They couldn’t hide out there forever. And what about work? Would Nigel come marching up to the pediatric ward and cause a scene?
He’d always gone out of his way to keep up appearances at their place of employment, but would he continue to have that much self-control? A lot of her colleagues had jokingly expressed their envy over what a perfect husband he was. Attentive, considerate, he called the ward two or three times a day to ask after her and still regularly sent her flowers. Only Isobel knew all of that was a form of control, just another way he kept tabs on her.
Perhaps she should take some time off? Wait until the worst of Nigel’s anger had been spent? She had a few weeks of holidays owing and she could take that leave with pay. But what about afterwards? How would she pay the bills without Nigel? She couldn’t expect Mason to support them.
She didn’t have any money. Nigel had always controlled all of their finances. Even her wages were deposited into an account in his name. In the early days of their marriage, he’d told her it was because he didn’t want her to worry about trivial things such as money. He was the brains. It was his job to keep her comfortable and he assured her he’d see to that.
Over the years, he’d forgotten his promise. She’d been forced to beg for every dollar and quite often, her requests were refused. There was never anything to spend on frivolous things—at least what Nigel deemed frivolous. She couldn’t help but notice the same rules didn’t apply to him. Only a month earlier, he’d come home with an eight-hundred-dollar briefcase that apparently he just couldn’t do without.
She’d have to go to a bank and open an account and then have her wages redirected, but she didn’t have time to do those things right now. She glanced at the clock again and noticed another six minutes had slipped by. Wiping her hands on a cloth, she hurried into her bedroom and finished packing the last-minute things. Her hairbrush and toothbrush; toothpaste, vitamins and her contraceptive pills. She went into the kids’ bedroom and collected a few of their toys.
“What are you doing, Mommy?” Sophie asked, sitting up in her bed.
Isobel forced a smile. “We’re going on a little trip.”
“Yay! Is Daddy coming?”
“Not this time, baby. Now, I need you to get out of bed. I’ll help you get dressed. We’re in a bit of a hurry.”
“Why?”
“We just are. Here, how about you put on this dress? It’s going to be warm outside today.”
“I want to wear my jeans! The ones with the flowers on the pocket.”
“Soph, it’s far too hot for jeans. Now, come over here so I can get those pajamas off you.”
Her daughter shot her a frown so familiar, it nearly broke Isobel’s heart. The little girl was a mirror image of her father. Not that Isobel would ever hold that against her. Still, she used her no-nonsense voice, aware time was ticking away.
“You’re wearing this pretty dress, Sophie. Now, come over here.”
With a melodramatic sigh and an eye roll that would put the best actress in the world to shame, her little girl climbed out of bed and moved over to where she stood.
“Lift up your arms.” Her baby did as she asked without any further fuss and Isobel swallowed a sigh of relief.
“What’s for breakfast?”
“Bacon and eggs. Or cereal. Whatever you like, but we have to be quick. We’re leaving very soon.”
Ben appeared in the doorway.
“Hey, buddy, can you go and brush your teeth? We’re leaving as soon as your sister’s finished breakfast.”
He nodded and turned to leave.
“Oh, Ben?” she called out after him.
He stopped and turned back to look at her. “Yes?”
“Bring your toothbrush to me when you’re finished. I need to pack it.”
He frowned. “Are we staying overnight?”
“Yes, honey. We are.”
“For how long?”
“I’m… I’m not sure. Right now, I need you to brush your teeth, find your shoes and get ready to get into the car, okay?”
He stared at her a moment longer before slowly turning back toward the door. He left without another word.
“Okay, Soph. You’re all set. Now, where are your shoes?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I think I left them near the front door.”
“All right, I’ll go and look for them. You head into the kitchen. Did you decide whether you’re having cereal or bacon?”
“I want blueberry pancakes and maple syrup.”
“We don’t have time for pancakes, honey. It’s bacon and eggs or cereal.”
“But I want pancakes.”
“Not today, Soph. I guess bacon and eggs it is.”
Not giving the child any time to argue, she left the room. She hurried toward the front door and found her daughter’s shoes. After putting them on Sophie’s feet, Isobel set out a small plate of food. Murmuring her thanks, her baby began to eat.
“I’m ready,” Ben announced and flopped down on the chair opposite his sister.
Isobel threw him a smile. “Great. We won’t be too much longer. Did you brush your teeth?”
“Yes, I left my toothbrush on your bed, near the bag you’ve packed.”
His stare was pointed. She did her best to ignore it. “We’re staying with my friend for a few days. I’m not sure how long, exactly, but I thought we should take a few things.”
“Does Dad know where we’re going?”
Her smile faltered. “Of course.” She averted her gaze. “Soph, hand me your plate. It’s time to get going.”
After quickly rinsing her daughter’s things, she hurriedly brushed the little girl’s teeth and tossed her toothbrush into the bag. On her hands and knees, she tugged the suitcases out from beneath the bed.
“There are more? I thought you said we were only going for a few days?” Ben asked in an accusing tone.
Isobel jumped guiltily. “I did. But I also said I wasn’t sure exactly how long we’re going to be away. I like to be prepared.”
“How far away does your friend live? Is it outside the city?”
“No, honey. Not very far. It shouldn’t take us too long to get there.”
“Then if we run out of clothes, why can’t we just come back?”
Impatience surged through Isobel, but she forced herself to keep her temper in check. The clock on her nightstand told her it was way past eight. Nigel would be almost finished his ward rounds and would then be headed to the operating rooms. As if on cue, the house phone rang. She hurried back into the kitchen to answer it.
“Hello?”
“It’s me. Just thought I’d call and see how you are.”
The tension inside her ramped up its efforts to tighten her belly into knots. She forced a breath between her clenched teeth. “I’m fine, Nigel. Thanks for asking.”
“What are you up to today?”
“I… I thought I might take the kids to the park. It looks like it’s going to be a nice day.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve been inside since I left.”
“Well, I’ll make sure I tell you all about it when you come home. What time do you think you might get away?” She asked the question as casually as she could and hoped he wouldn’t wonder about it.
“Not before seven. I have a full list today.”
“Right. Well, have a good day.” She ended the call, her heart thumping, and strode back into the bedroom. With a suitcase in each hand, she made her way to the car.
It took another ten minutes to pack all the bags and the kids into the Toyota. She made sure all the lights in the house were off and then locked the door behind her. With hands shaking, she fitted the key into the ignition and then heard the ding of her phone. No, not her phone. The phone Mason had given her.
She dug into her handbag and pulled it out. There was a new text message on the screen.
Thinking of u. UR the bravest woman I know. I’m here 4 u. Don’t forget, the address of my apartment’s in the phone. Make sure u have the key. C u tonight.
Isobel read through the message twice and her breathing gradually slowed. Checking in her handbag, her fingers closed around the house key he’d given her. With renewed determination, she opened Google Maps and found the address. She absorbed the details and turned on her GPS. Her hands tightened around the steering wheel. She reversed out of the driveway and didn’t look back.