To: condorboy
Date: Monday, November 28—11:02 PM
Subject: re: turkey
Dear Connor,
Let’s trade parents. I’m serious. If you’re worried about not having enough angst, you can have some of mine. I have way too much for one person.
I’m sad again. I skipped school today and went to the park to read a book I don’t even like. Even though it was cold and windy and wet, I just sat there in the grass until I couldn’t stand it anymore, until I was shivering so bad I could barely hold my book up.
Maybe you don’t have a little dog pack like everyone, but at least people like you. You’re the cool loner. You’re the mysterious guy no one really knows but everyone wants to know. I’m a loner too, but that’s because no one can stand me. I don’t blame them, really. I can’t stand myself most of the time, especially when I feel like this. All I do is lie around and obsess about everything that’s wrong with me. My thoughts go around in these little horrible circles, like “No one likes me because I’m annoying, because I talk too much, because I want attention, because no one likes me.” I can meditate on that for hours, and that’s just one of them. There are about a million others.
Who decided we need to go around in groups all the time, anyway? Maybe it’s a weakness to need people like that. Maybe you’re just more evolved than everyone else. Because really, isn’t everyone alone when you get right down to it? Maybe some of us surround ourselves with people, but the truth is we do most our living inside our own heads, which is a really lonely place.
Love,
Isabel