From: yikes!izzy

To: condorboy

Date: Wednesday, November 30—11:53PM

Subject: Re: torture

Dear Connor,

Well, I’m flattered. But I will remind you that “intriguing” is very different than “likeable.” I’m sure Hitler and Pol Pot were “intriguing,” but they were also murderous sociopaths.

That’s a pretty good list. I’d add “listening to your parents fight.” And “sitting alone in the lunchroom at school while everyone else is talking and laughing with friends.” Unfortunately, I do both of those things quite a lot.

Have I told you about the Two Aris? Well, they’re these boys at my school and they’re both in my class and they’re both named Ari and they’re best friends and handsome and perfect and I hate them. They’re going to conquer the world. I’m sure of it. One of them was raised in Switzerland and speaks like, five languages and the other one got a perfect score on the SATs. They both have perfect teeth without ever having needed braces. One of them is dating one of those slutty Disney starlets and the other one got the governor of Washington State to write him a recommendation letter for Harvard. Who does that? How is that even legal? They walk around with their perfect hair that never moves like they already rule the world, and they’re only eighteen. Only robots should be allowed to be this confident. It’s not natural. The worst part is they’re so nice, they won’t even let you hate them. Today one of them came up to me with this saintly look on his face and asked me how I’m doing. You could practically see his halo. Bastard. Like I’m some charity case. There’s something wrong with the world when people like this are allowed to exist.

Grumpily,
Isabel