condorboy: hi
yikes!izzy: damn. you caught me
condorboy: yeah, it’s like you’re almost real
yikes!izzy: almost
condorboy: did you get my email last night?
yikes!izzy: the one about you being gay?
condorboy: . . .
yikes!izzy: what do you think about when you masturbate?
condorboy: WHAT?!!!
yikes!izzy: just go with it. i’m being scientific here. what do you think about when you masturbate?
yikes!izzy: guys or girls?
condorboy: girls
yikes!izzy: always?
condorboy: yes
condorboy: always
yikes!izzy: you’re straight. case closed.
condorboy: thanks doctor
yikes!izzy: do you think about anyone in particular?
condorboy: no comment
yikes!izzy: have you ever fantasized about more than one girl at once?
yikes!izzy: like together?
condorboy: jesus, what is this? i’m growing uncomfortable with this line of questioning
yikes!izzy: just answer the question
yikes!izzy: remember, i’m a doctor
condorboy: ok. sure. yeah. what guy hasn’t fantasized about that?
yikes!izzy: why do you think that’s every straight guy’s fantasy?
condorboy: i don’t know
condorboy: maybe because girls are pretty and two girls are even prettier. squishy parts bumping up against each other. that sort of thing.
condorboy: can we stop talking about this now?
yikes!izzy: maybe, but then I wouldn’t get to rant about why it pisses me off
yikes!izzy: isn’t that your favorite thing about me?
condorboy: what?
yikes!izzy: my ranting about things that piss me off. it’s pretty much my greatest talent.
condorboy: ok. whatever you say.
yikes!izzy: on that note . . .
yikes!izzy: BYE!
condorboy: bye?
[yikes!izzy is offline.]