Crazy

To: condorboy

Subject: kissing girls (continued)

Connor,

I’ve told you about my school and how everyone considers themselves so “enlightened,” right? Well, they’re not. They’re fakes like everyone else; they just have bigger vocabularies and different bumper stickers on their minivans. The Two Aris are just like all the other prep-school boys in the world. An example: On the first day of school, my art teacher asked everyone who their favorite artists are, and yes, I admit that maybe I was in a darker mood than usual and would have answered differently any other day, but she should have at least pretended to not be horrified when I said Francis Bacon and Joel-Peter Witkin. You should have seen her face, Connor. She probably thought she was looking at a future serial killer. What was I supposed to say? That I love Monet? Edward Hopper? NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL?!

Now back to the topic from last night. All the girls at my school—and every other private school in Seattle, from what I hear—have decided that the new cool thing for the year is for all the girls to pretend to be bisexual, which basically just involves getting drunk at parties and making out with each other in front of their boyfriends. It’s not like they have actual relationships. They’re just trying on the identity like it’s some kind of performance, then they take it off whenever it’s convenient. They don’t have to deal with the other things that come with it, like homophobic assholes and fucked-up laws.

I was telling my sister and Karen about this one girl in particular who’s notorious for drinking too many wine coolers and running around asking all the boys what girl they want her to make out with. Gennifer just rolled her eyes and said, “What a dumbass,” but Karen got real quiet and her jaw started grinding, and she looked like she wanted to punch something. Gennifer and I just sort of looked at her, wondering what was the right thing to say, then Karen let out a big sigh and started shaking her head.

“It’s not something you can just take off when the party’s over,” she said. “It’s not something you put on like a costume to entertain your horny boyfriends. Being gay is something people lose their families for. It’s something they get beat up for. It’s something people still get killed for. It’s not a fucking party trick.”

Karen grew up in a small farm town in Idaho. She got beat up a lot for looking so butch. Her parents disowned her. She always jokes that she’s spent more money on therapy than college and grad school combined. But it’s not funny. None of it is funny.

I wish you could meet Gennifer and Karen. Besides you, they’re the best things in my life. You should really visit, you know. Soon.

Love,
Isabel

(P.S. I got into Reed.)