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I WATCHED OUT THE BACK window of the van as the church disappeared from sight. Turning and sitting back against the seat, I sighed. Looking around, I couldn’t fight the surreal sensation that I’d never see that streetlight, that stop sign, or that old post office again.
The driver’s wizened eyes peered at me every few seconds in the rearview mirror. Crinkling at the sides, he smiled. “You look like a young mule deer caught between a truck and a hunter. You’re goin’ to be alrigh’.” His voice could’ve belonged to a grandpa, and his white hair peaking from beneath his golf-style hat suggested he was old enough.
I found his tone comforting enough to unclench my fingers from the edge of the cloth seat. Leaning forward, I braced my hand on the front passenger seat and struggled to speak past the realization that I didn’t have a plan besides getting in that cab. “I have no idea where I’m going.” Twisting my lips to the side, I tried to smile, but I think it came off more as a pathetic attempt not to cry.
“I’m Daryl.” He smiled, the whiskers on his cheeks reflecting the sunlight as he spoke. “Don’t worry, miss. Everything’s already been taken care of. I know where I’m supposed to take you and everything else I’m supposed to do. You just sit back and relax.” He turned and winked, then turned back to the road. “I’ve been married a couple times. You’re not missing out on anything.”
His chuckle left me to my thoughts. Everything had been taken care of? Elizabeth really did like to fix things. I could already tell I owed her big.
When Daryl turned north on I-49, I still didn’t know where we were headed. As far as I knew, he could be taking me into the woods to kill me. At least I didn’t laugh at my dark humor. He would’ve questioned what was so funny, and I’d have to explain that the thought of him being an axe murderer made me laugh. Not really a laughing matter.
My phone buzzed once, then again, then it went on a buzzing rant, and I feared it might have a technology seizure. As if the emotions spewed through the vibrations, I could almost feel the irate text messages from my mother, my father, and Larry.
When Mrs. Burton’s name flashed on my phone to indicate she was calling, I turned the cell off.
I had made my decision and there was no going back. I might as well not torture myself with everything. Besides, I was more worried that I didn’t know where I was going than what my mother was going to yell at me, if we talked.
Jeremy’s profile had said he lived in Washington. I think it was Washington State and not D.C. Why hadn’t I double-checked? I didn’t know anything about the east coast. Okay, I didn’t know anything about the west coast either. Both were a long way away. I had some money, but I didn’t know if I had enough to get me all that way.
We headed north, and the dark green of the hills around us gave the illusion that everything was fine with the world. I could forget for a bit that I’d walked out on my family, my friends, people I’d known for a long time, my fiancé and his family and friends, and abandoned them all based on a whim that my best-friend had put into place for me.
I could pretend I hadn’t just fought with my mom and been promised that I would be disowned. Or that Larry would be hurt that I hadn’t shown up, but he’d be more hurt and embarrassed that I’d left him to deal with the aftermath.
The entire Burton family would blame it on me. I’d seen them in action. In no time, they’d turned the small town against a man because he’d accidentally walked out of the restaurant without paying. He’d turned back to come pay his bill, but it was too late. The Burton revenge had already been put into play with a simple call made to Mrs. Burton. Even if I wanted to go back, there was no way I’d be welcomed. I’d be shunned like that man. He’d finally moved away.
Trees blurred as we passed and I couldn’t tell if it was because of my wet eyes or the speed limit of the interstate. It probably didn’t matter. An hour and twenty minutes in the taxi didn’t seem that long as I allowed my thoughts to carry me along. The driver was kind enough to put on an oldies station, and he didn’t press me for conversation. Songs of simpler times soothed me as I tried to gather an understanding of what I had done.
What had I done?
Daryl hummed along to a Beatles’ song. I don’t know that I would’ve been a good enough conversationalist anyway. Everything I had just walked away from flashed before my eyes. The negatives and the positives. The good and the bad. Honestly, the more I mentally listed it the less good there was than bad.
None of that mattered as I tried to see the positive in the change that I had just taken. Were there any pros when I had no idea what I was doing?
What had Elizabeth got me into?
What in burning incense had I done?
The easy thing when everybody else made major decisions for you was that you didn’t have to blame yourself when things didn’t turnout.
I could’ve married Larry and hated my mother for the rest of time. As it was, I would always wonder if I had made the right choice in leaving him and my family behind at the Baptist church we didn’t even attend.
Daryl pulled in front of the Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport and parked in front of the information doors at the main loading dock. He leaned to the side and half-turned to see me. “This is as far as I go. Your next steps are as follows: you need to go in there to the front desk and show your ID. They’ll have tickets for you. Once that’s done, you’ll take your luggage to the hotel abutting the north end of the airport. I believe it’s called Wingate at Wyndham. They already have a reservation for you.”
Climbing from the cab, Daryl opened the side door and hauled my luggage out to the curb for me. I exited the safety of the van and trailed my fingers on the steadfast seat back before I left all the way. Too many new changes bombarded me, and I needed some kind of a safety net.
The smell of exhaust hit me as I finally let go of the clean scent of the van. Daryl was my only anchor, and I needed to thank him. I reached into my pocket for a tip, but he reached out and stayed my hand.
Shaking his head, he patted my shoulder. “I’m not supposed to take anything from you. Trust me, I’ve already been tipped plenty. That friend of yours, she’s rare. She’s what we like to call, one in a million.” He made sure I was clear of the van and double-checked for any extra luggage. Winking, he shut the door behind me. “You’re going to have fun.”
“Thank you.” The words were so ineffectual in expressing my gratitude. My debt mounted around me like the warm summer air. Daryl had no idea just what a terrific friend Elizabeth was. Hopefully, one day, I would be able to return the favor.
Air conditioning welcomed me with a soft blast to the face as I entered the sliding doors. The linoleum floor led inconspicuously to the information terminal. I set my bags down and smiled at the lady.
“Can I help you?” She tilted her head in the customer service type of way that made you wonder if maybe you had something on your neck that they were trying to see.
“My name is Alexandra Reeves. I was told I have a ticket on will call.” I nervously chewed my lip. I had never done anything like that before. Did they even do airplane tickets on will call?
She clicked on the computer and then checked with the other employee behind her. They conferred for a moment, both glancing at me and then back at each other while they talked.
Maybe I had a sign on me that read, “Jilted my fiancé.” I glanced around the front portion of the airport with its wall of windows and filling lines. Early afternoon had plenty of people walking around, pulling luggage with their other hands filled with papers, phones, and coffee. All of the movement made me tired and I wanted to climb into that hotel bed Daryl had promised.
“Ms. Reeves?” The woman returned, pulling my attention back to her. She tapped some keys on the keyboard. “Can I get your identification, please? This is very unorthodox, and I want to make sure I’m handing this off to the right person. I hope you understand.”
I fumbled in my bag for my brown wallet and withdrew my driver license to hand to her.
She nodded after verifying I matched the name. “Thank you. We’ve been waiting for you. We also have your reservation for your hotel information in the packet, as well. Elizabeth Snyder was very kind.” She smiled and handed me an envelope stuffed to the brim with papers.
“She always is.” I tried not to choke up as I thought of my friend. Until I turned on my phone, I wouldn’t be able to call her. Did I even want to turn on my phone? Maybe I could call her from the hotel. They had to have phones there. Calling her would be more important than even sleeping – no matter how badly I wanted to rest.
The receptionist pointed the shuttle waiting area out to me. The shuttle arrived moments after I got into place and carried me from the airport to the hotel. The registration desk was easy to find, and they checked me in immediately. Like a tornado, I was in my room and the door was closing before anything had fully sunk in from that day.
The clock on the side stand announced it was four in the afternoon with green digital numbers. According to the itinerary that my mom and Mrs. Burton had created for the wedding day, we would all be settling in for dinner and the reception at the senior center on the north side of town.
The senior center. What was the appeal? The Burtons owned it, and they had access to the large recreation hall, as well as easy access to have my mom’s restaurants cater. I’d been asked to help with that event until Mrs. Burton had told Mom I couldn’t work it when I was supposed to be in the receiving line.
How had I not seen how my parents treated me? Why did I wait to make any changes in my life until it was almost too late?
I sank onto the edge of the bed and stared at the tightly woven carpet. Looking back at where I was supposed to be according to my mom, and where I actually was thanks to Liz, I had a hard time imagining that everything had changed in only a matter of hours.
I’d altered the course of my life with one swipe of my finger. Only a few hours ago, I’d been getting off to head toward Larry and a life of imprisonment. A hotel in Bentonville wasn’t the same as a hotel in the Bahamas where Larry and I were going on our honeymoon, but it was much more enjoyable. I could’ve done the Bahamas and been happy, if Larry hadn’t been there, too.
As it was, I was in a different hotel, and I wasn’t Mrs. Larry Burton.
Thank Heaven.
I didn’t have to have ham with au gratin potatoes for my reception dinner, either.
Flopping back on the queen-size bed, I let my body relax for the first time in a while. I couldn’t help wonder what my parents and the Burtons had done with all of those guests. They’d invited a lot of people and would’ve had to tell them something. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when they announced it.
What would they say?
Even as a fly, I wouldn’t be welcome back. I would most likely never be able to return. I ignored the tears that I had pushed down for so long. My mom had disowned me. I was her only child, and she had verbally disowned me.
Wiping at my eyes, I took a deep breath. She didn’t mean it. We had our problems, but no way would she do that to me. Not intentionally. Not permanently. I would give Mom and Dad some time and then, maybe, I would be able to call, and we could strike up a relationship again. At least, I hoped so.
And yet... another part of me, the part of me that sought reality for what it was, the part that knew deep down they treated me awful, that part of me knew there would be no going back to the way things were. In my parents’ eyes, I had disgraced them. In a town the size of Blackberry, you didn’t disgrace anyone – least of all your parents. Shame like that you avoided worse than death.
Elizabeth had given me the means to get out. Now, no matter what happened, I would have to make sure that I made a life for myself outside of Arkansas – because there was no going back.
My best-friend was a bright spot in everything. She’d come up with a plan and fixed my life. I knew she only wanted my happiness, and I was grateful that she’d, once again, been the doer of our friendship, instead of a wisher, like me.
Beside the cream-colored phone, a small placard declared local calls were free. Hopefully, her number was considered local. I wasn’t sure what the area code was in Bentonville. I picked up the phone and dialed Elizabeth’s number from memory.
She answered before the first ring finished its tone.
Her squealing laughter was contagious. “Ooh, Alex. I cannot believe you did it. I am so proud of you. Do you have any idea how upset you made those women? Your mother and Mrs. Burton looked like they were choking on fish bones. They are so evil. I cannot wait for you to get out of the state altogether. Get out of the Midwest! Who knows, if things work out for you, I might just follow in your footsteps. Find me a man nowhere near here.”
I leaned my head back and sank into the soft pillow. My chuckle was soft, but strong with gratitude. “I can’t believe you did this for me. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry to just leave like that. I’m sure this cost you a lot of money. I’ll do everything I can to pay you back. Did they say anything to you after I left?” I pulled my hair back and twisted it to the side out of the way.
She snorted. “Psht. Please. I make so much money as a handy woman, I don’t need you to pay me back. Consider this your you-didn’t-get-married-and-I’m-so-proud present.” Elizabeth laughed, the sound deep and heartfelt.
Allowing her words to sink in first, she then continued, but with a more sober vein. “No, your mom glared at me and said it was all my fault – putting thoughts in your head and all that. But what can she do? She’s never liked me anyway.” Liz laughed and gasped. “Oh, my word! Larry came back in after you left and was already hitting on the other bridesmaid. You know the one that I’m talking about? The one that his mom picked out? I’m sure they’ll be married before the years out.”
I didn’t react for a moment as her words clicked into place. Was I jealous? No, and that was the worst part. I almost married a man that I wasn’t jealous of. “I don’t even care that he’s interested in other women. How sad is that?”
“I’m telling you, that man was not good for you. But now you can go and get to know Jeremy.” She spoke his name, casually, and I could barely even comprehend what I was doing. She continued as if we’d known Jeremy forever, and I was leaving to go visit him. “Just think, as soon as he accepts you, you’ll be married already. How much fun! You don’t have to worry about any of this. I’m so envious!”
I jerked back, my brow furrowed. “You mean, we don’t get married, like say our vows or anything?” To say I was disappointed wasn’t quite accurate. I needed to hear my future-husband say he would stay with me through thick and thin. I needed that. Even though the opinion may be an unpopular one, I still needed it.
“I don’t think there’s a ceremony or anything with the two of you, but you guys are supposed to be married by proxy. That’s why I had to have your ticket go out two days after, because it has to get filed and everything. You leave Tuesday.” Elizabeth’s matter-of-fact tone didn’t fool me. There was nothing traditional about what we were doing.
What I was doing?
“Wait, what if he doesn’t accept me? I’m stuck going to Washington?” The enormity of what I’d undertaken rose around me, and I tried to not gag on the possibilities.
“The airport anyway.” She laughed. “I think you land in Tacoma, but I’m not sure.” She took a long breath and exhaled. “I am so glad you’re out of here. Come on, marriage to anybody would be better than marriage to Larry.”
Her excitement wrapped around me, soothing away my panic. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my feet onto the bed and rolled to my side, staring at the wall. “I have to admit, I’m a little excited. I hope he likes me.” I didn’t need to know all the details around what she’d set up. Elizabeth knew I wasn’t the type to get into the details of anything. I really just liked to ride along smoothly. The fact that I had even made this choice and had created so many waves was more Elizabeth than me.
Maybe the real me was coming out. I had to pretend I wasn’t terrified at the unknown soaring toward me.
“You should be so excited. You’re in a hotel for the next two days all by yourself. We haven’t done that since college. If I didn’t have that big remodeling work to get done, I would totally come up and stay with you! We could go to the spa, get room service, and meet more guys. Except you’re married-ish. I could meet the guys.” Her wistful tone tugged at me over the line.
I twirled the cord around my finger. She and I hadn’t had any real time together since I’d moved back to help my parents. “Are you sure you can’t? I feel bad being up here by myself, spending your money.” I sniffed and closed my eyes. “Oh, my word! Liz, this room smells like turndown chocolate! You have to come up now. I bet there’s some...” I peeked beside the other pillow and found a towel folded with chocolates. “There are! You have to come now.”
She groaned. “Leave it to you to sniff out the chocolate. I can’t come. I told Mr. Bagwell I’d get his downstairs completed before his wife gets back from her trip. With the shipment of cabinets late, I’m behind. I’ll probably be doing eighteen hour days for the next week.” She perked up her tone. “But hey, maybe I can come and visit in a couple months. Do you think that would be okay?”
“You better. I’m not going to have anybody over there. You’re my only one.” I swallowed down my strangled tone. I was going to miss her.
Elizabeth sniffed and hurriedly replied. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later. I’ve got to get going, gotta get out of this dress. Been trying to get away from that mess since you left.” She laughed, and hung up.
I was so nervous, but I resolved that over the next couple days I wouldn’t be swayed to go back home.
All I had to remember was I wasn’t welcome back anyway.
