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Jamie settled the baby a little more comfortably in the carrier, at the same time making sure she still had firm hold of Benton's hand. Christine walked beside her, keeping Lilli close to her side. The twins were squirming excitedly.
“Santa?” Benton asked, for what had to be the fifth time. “Santa?”
“Yes,” Jamie said, smiling down at her handsome little son. “We're going to see Santa. Doesn't that sound fun?”
Up ahead, there was a line of children and their parents winding through a maze of railing, leading up to a man in a red suit sitting on a chair in the center. Women in green elf costumes scurried around him, helping corral the excited children.
“I didn't actually expect this much of a wait,” Jamie admitted as they took their places at the end of the line.
“Not used to lines anymore?” Christine teased.
Jamie laughed. “Honestly? Not so much. Alex kind of gets in anywhere he pleases without a wait.”
“Well, you can’t bribe Santa, so you’re going to have to just hang out here with the rest of us unfortunates.”
“I suppose I can handle that,” Jamie answered, shooting a grin at her sister. “I wouldn’t want a lump of coal for Christmas.”
Standing in line with three small children wasn’t exactly Jamie’s idea of a good time. They quickly grew restless, and Jamie and Christine had to try to find ways to keep them interested with carefully doled-out cheerios and an attempt at a game of ‘I spy’ that they proved to be a little young to properly grasp. Slowly, they inched forward toward Santa.
“Jamie,” Christine said abruptly.
Jamie was bent over the twins, trying to coax them back into the excitement of sitting with Santa. They were starting to get tired, and she wondered if they’d made the right choice in coming to the mall at all.
“Hmm?” She didn’t look up from them.
Her sister said her name again, sharply, and Jamie lifted her head, eyebrows drawn together in question. “What is it?”
“I think it’s Mom,” Christine said slowly.
That pulled Jamie’s thoughts entirely from the increasing crankiness of the twins, and she startled upright, almost waking little Markie. Her eyes searched the gathering around Santa, trying to find the person Christine had pointed out.
“There,” Christine said, gesturing with a motion that wasn’t quite pointing toward one of the helper elves. “Doesn’t that... Don’t you think that looks a lot like Mom?”
Jamie stared. The woman currently opening the gate to allow the next child through did look like their mother. Shockingly like her, actually.
But it couldn’t be. There was no way their mother would be caught dead in an elf suit, working for a mall Santa. Jamie shook away the absurd thought.
Except, as they moved closer, the woman continued to look like their mother. Jamie exchanged a glance with her sister, wondering if Christine was thinking the same thing she was. Christine looked back at her with eyebrows lifted, and shrugged. They would find out soon enough, Jamie supposed. Her gut said it was her mother and her eyes confirmed it. Her head just wished they might both be wrong.
They’d almost reached the front of the line. They’d come this far; there was no turning back now.
“Look there,” she said, leaning down to the twins again and pointing. “Santa. It’s almost your turn.”
That seemed to perk them up at least. Their heads lifted, and they rushed forward to lean against the gate as it closed behind the last child ahead of them. Jamie and Christine followed at a slightly more leisurely pace, smiling at the sight of both twins pushed up on their toes to see over the little picket gate to the winter wonderland of cotton fluff snow and giant plastic candy canes that waited beyond. Jami grabbed her phone and snapped a few pictures.
The elf who had guided the other child up to Santa walked back in their direction. Jamie felt her heartbeat pick up.
It was definitely their mom.
Jamie saw her mom realize who the next kids were the moment she stopped stock-still three feet from the gate, her eyes as wide as Jamie’s probably were.
“Mom?” It was Christine’s voice that broke Jamie from her startled stupor. She reached out and guided Benton back, one arm over his shoulders. From the corner of her eye, she saw Christine doing the same with Lilli.
Their mother, obviously aware that there was no way she could avoid recognition, picked her chin up and put on a smile. It was an expression Jamie recognized, the one that said ‘I’m persecuted, but I’m handling it bravely.’ She’d seen it on their mother’s face too many times to count. Her jaw tightened.
“Girls,” their mother said, the smile widening into something almost painful. “Fancy meeting you two here.”
“The kids wanted to see Santa,” Christine said. Her voice was soft; she sounded like she still wasn’t sure she should even be speaking.
“Obviously,” their mother said. She glanced at the stroller. “I see you had more, Jamie.”
Jamie drew Benton a little closer to her side. “Yes.
“And Christine... You’re married?”
Christine had sent a wedding invitation to their mother’s last known address, despite Jamie’s protests. They’d never heard anything back. Jamie wondered if she would mention it, but she didn’t say anything at all, just nodded.
“And—” Their mother paused, like she wasn’t sure she should be asking the question that was obviously at the tip of her tongue. “How’s your father?”
“Dad’s doing great,” Jamie said before Christine could give a more diplomatic answer. “His new girlfriend is lovely.”
“Oh. That’s... That’s good for him.”
It was obvious she didn’t want to make a scene in public, which was more than Jamie would have expected. Maybe she’d learned a lesson or two in the months that she’d been gone. She didn’t have a right to be angry anyway; she was the one who’d been picking up boy toys left and right since the divorce.
Benton pulled on Jamie’s shirt. “Can we go see Santa?”
“In one minute, honey.” Jamie leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He seemed to know something was off. The fact that his mommy called an elf ‘Mom’ was probably confusing him. Jamie almost laughed out loud at the thought.
“What are you doing here, Mom?” Christine asked. The question was careful.
“Working here,” their mother said, the words sharp enough that Jamie wondered if they had crossed one of the invisible lines that would set her off. “What else would I be doing?”
Jamie took a step closer to her sister, silently offering support, though Christine didn’t look about to fold under the harsh words the way she once would have. The intervening months had done her some good. “She meant, Mom, that we’re both wondering what you’re doing working as a helper elf at the mall, of all places.”
It wasn’t a place she would have ever expected to find their mother even shopping, let alone working. And never in a million years would she have pictured the woman who had always held her ego closer than her family running around in an elf suit.
Their mother sniffed. “I had to get a job somewhere,” she said curtly.
“And this is the only place that would hire you?” Jamie guessed.
She was reasonably certain that before this job, her mother hadn’t worked a day in her life.
“I’m glad you found a job, Mom,” Christine said from behind her.
Up at the North Pole cabin Santa had finished speaking with the other child, and now he was beckoning for the next. Jamie opened the gate and ushered the twins forward.
Her mother held the gate closed and glanced over her shoulder to make sure she was clear to let them through.
The twins were through the gate in a flash and Jamie followed them with the stroller, Christine right behind her.
“Well, hello there,” the Santa laughed as Jamie settled the twins on his lap. “And what is your name?”
“’M Lilli.”
“Nice to meet you, Lilli,” Santa said. He looked expectantly at Benton, who was looking back at him with wide eyes.
“Ben,” Lilli said helpfully.
“Okay, Ben and Lilli. Have you been good?” When they both nodded slowly, he chuckled. “Why don’t you tell me what you want for Christmas?”
Lilli’s face screwed up in thought. Jamie, not wanting to draw attention to herself and remind Lilli that she was there listening, swallowed a laugh at the expression. She glanced over her shoulder to find her mother and Christine leaning in toward each other, engaged in some kind of whispered argument.
“A pony!” Lilli decided.
A pony. Jamie could just imagine how that conversation would go. Lilli had her father wrapped around her finger like nobody's business. He'd probably buy her two ponies if she expressed a desire for one. But there was no way Jamie was cleaning up after a pony.
Santa laughed like he knew what she was thinking. “And you, Ben?” he asked, turning his attention to her son.
“Car,” Benton said. “That goes Vroommm... Vroomm.”
That, at least, Jamie could do. Although the idea of her two-year-old driving a remote-control car around in a house full of breakable things was a little daunting. Maybe one of those little cars he could drive. The ones that went, like, one mile per hour. Then again there were the stairs. Maybe it would have to be an outside toy. She glanced over at her mother and Christine again; they were still arguing.
“A pony, and a car that goes vroom,” Santa said. “Are you going to be good for your mommy?”
Both twins nodded eagerly.
“Keep that promise, and I’ll bring you your presents.”
“Do you mind if I get a picture?”
“We have a photographer doing that but... she’s apparently busy.” He shook his head, and Jamie took a moment to take a photo of the twins on his lap.
“Okay,” she said when she was done. “You two ready to go?”
Lilli shook her head. “No. Stay with Santa.”
“No, sweetie. Santa’s very busy,” Jamie said, stepping forward to scoop her daughter up despite Lilli's protest. “Santa has other kids that he has to talk to. Don't you want them to get Christmas presents, too?”
Lilli looked over her shoulder at Santa for a moment, and then at the line of kids still waiting for their turns. She huffed an exaggerated little sigh. “Yes. Okay.”
“See? You’re already being good. Sharing with others is a nice thing to do.” Jamie helped Benton down from Santa’s lap. “You two want to go see that elf right there for some candy?”
She pointed to another woman who was holding a bowl of treats. The twins were halfway across the space between her and them by the time she could say, “One piece each.”
“—I did invite you to my wedding,” Christine was hissing. “If you’d been anywhere that anyone could get a hold of you, you’d have received the invitation.”
Whatever her argument had been, that seemed to stop their mother cold. She looked at Christine for a moment in absolute silence. Her shoulders slumped.
“You did invite me?”
“Yes,” Christine said more gently. “I did.”
“I haven’t been a good mother to the two of you.”
She’d said that before, but it had been a manipulation then, trying for sympathy. This time, she seemed to actually mean the words. Jamie wondered if someone had replaced her with a look-alike. Their mother did not apologize, and she certainly didn’t admit to having done anything wrong.
“No,” she said, stepping forward, “you haven’t.”
Christine looked up at her with a disbelieving expression, like she couldn’t imagine why Jamie had just said that. But it needed to be said. Maybe if their mom heard it now, when she seemed to be in a state to acknowledge the truth of the words, she’d finally take some steps toward changing. Jamie wasn’t sure she was actually capable of change, but even showing some sign of wanting to would be an improvement.
Her mother swallowed hard, like she was swallowing back tears. Or words. “I can be better.”
Jamie exchanged a glance with Christine, who looked as shocked as she felt.
“I want... I’d really like the chance to get to know my grandchildren,” she said. Her gaze moved to Benton and Lilli, who had said something to the candy elf that made her laugh. Both of them had huge grins on their faces as they turned to walk back.
“If you really want to get to know them,” Jamie said, “I’m willing to sit down and talk to you about it. But not now. You’re working and we’ve got other things we need to get done.” She also wondered if she should ask Alex what he thought before she went ahead and made plans. He was their parent, too.
“I understand.” Their mother smiled a little uncertainly at them. “I’ve got to get back to work anyway. There’s a line.”
Jamie took Benton’s hand, and Christine reached down for Lilli’s.
“Good luck, Mom,” Christine said.
They walked out the gate and left her to do her job. For a long moment neither of them spoke, only half-listening to the twins chattering excitedly away about the candy they’d been given. Jamie forced a smile for them, and congratulated them on their haul.
“That was weird, right?” she asked Christine finally. “I mean, I’m not the only one who thinks that was just really... weird?”
Christine shook her head. “No. That was strange. I never would have imagined we’d find Mom there. And ready to talk. It wasn’t what I would have expected, at all.”
“Do you really think she wants to talk?” What she actually saying was, Do you think she’s changed?
“I don’t know.” Christine looked back in the direction of the Santa display, just visible through the crowds. “I guess we’ll find out.”
Not over the holidays, Jamie thought. That’s something we’re going to have to deal with in the New Year. If it’s worth talking over, we’ll find a way.
