31. Don’t Answer the Doorbell, Either

There’s something so importunate about a ringing doorbell. It’s different from a ringing phone: whoever it is is right there on the other side of the door. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a perfectly good meal ruined by a knock on the door. We’ve all been trained to be polite to guests, even uninvited ones. Often we think nothing of inconveniencing ourselves and other family members, letting our dinner get cold, for example, by answering a ringing doorbell to speak to someone we may not even want to see.

I’ve come to regard a ringing doorbell in the same way I do a ringing phone. Unless I have an appointment or am expecting a friend or a delivery, I simply don’t answer the door if it’s inconvenient. My friends know not to drop by without calling first.

“But what if it’s the postman delivering a certified letter?” a friend asked me. Have you ever had good news by certified mail? As far as I’m concerned it can wait. “But it is so rude not to answer the door,” she protested. Certainly we’ve been brought up to think that way. But I’ve come to feel that, in fact, it’s rude for someone to show up at the door unannounced and expect me to drop whatever I’m doing and answer it just because it happens to be convenient for them.

I admit it does take some hardening of your social graces. But if you’re regularly bothered by unannounced callers at your front door, learning to just let the doorbell ring can make your life a lot easier.

Or, consider installing a spyhole, so at the very least you know for whom you’re opening your door and your time.