35. Gift-Giving Simplified

I have a friend who has quite a large extended family and they all remember each other’s birthdays and anniversaries, not to mention Christmas and other holidays, with gifts. Hardly a month goes by without my friend agonizing over what to give some member of her family whose birthday is approaching. Invariably, she ends up settling on something she is not happy with. Usually, neither is the recipient, though neither of them would ever admit it.

In trying to simplify the perennial problem of gift-giving, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Hobbits, in J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic fantasy, were right: mathoms are the answer. A mathom was an object of any value for which a use could not be found, but which the owner was not prepared to discard completely. A Hobbit would never buy a gift; they gave mathoms instead.

When we started the uncluttering process of our simplification program (#1), I set up a section in our linen closet for items that would make good mathoms. It included things like vases, trays, decanters, little decorative bowls and boxes, toasters, a mini-Cuisinart, games we no longer used, and any extras I was getting rid of (#99) that might be appropriate.

I also announced to family and friends that from this day forward I’d be giving mathoms rather than buying presents. I figure if you’re going to give someone you love something they probably have no use for, it should at least be blessed by having a history with you first.

Now, when special occasions arise at which a gift would be appropriate, I search in our closet for a suitable mathom. I’ve also let my friends know that they are free to pass on (or possibly fob off) these “treasures” to someone else whenever appropriate.

If you have the knack of gift-giving, please share it with those of us who don’t. But if you find gift-buying an occasion for pulling out your hair, consider setting up a mathom box. Rather than spending untold hours shopping for and agonizing over gifts that are never quite right, you can go straight to your mathom box and find something that’s absolutely not right.

Don’t forget to have your children set up a mathom box of their toys and games they no longer use. Have them get in the habit of thinking of other possibly younger children who would be delighted with a new-to-them toy. This creates a natural recycling process for your kids’ toys, and is another lesson in uncluttering.