84. Just Say No

One of the things I promised myself when we decided to simplify our lives was to reduce my social commitments to people beyond the circle of my immediate family and friends. I’ve finally reached a point where, if someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do or spend an evening with people I don’t have any interest in being with, I simply say no. Thank you, but no.

My weekdays are devoted, for the most part, to my work, and, unavoidably, there are deadlines and obligations I have to meet. But my evenings and weekends are my own. They have become sacred, and learning to say no to things I don’t want to do—especially those things I have always felt I should do—has kept them inviolate.

If you have a problem saying no, go back and read When I Say No, I Feel Guilty, by Manuel J. Smith. This classic bestseller from the 1970s will give you the verbal tools you need to reduce your commitments and make your time your own again.