86. Resign from Any Organizations Whose Meetings You Dread

While I’ve never been much of a joiner, Gibbs went through a stage in his life when he’d join any group that invited him. One of the things he did when we started to simplify was to resign from the groups where he found his heart was no longer in it.

It’s amazing how quickly memberships—and the accompanying obligations and guilts—can pile up. The financial drain—with countless dues and assessments and overpriced rubber-chicken dinners deadened by Worst Speech Ever contests—is one thing. But the frustration of working with often disorganized and fanatical amateurs, or trying desperately to make small talk with people whose only connection to your life is through a single, narrowly focused interest, can be emotionally and psychologically debilitating.

Here is his advice for getting out. Take all your membership cards (you may be appalled at how many there are). Make two stacks. The smaller, maybe nonexistent, pile consists of organizations that meet at least two of three criteria:

1. Membership is a professional imperative.

2. You actually look forward to their meetings.

3. You never find yourself apologizing for being a member.

Resign from all the rest. Or if you can’t bring yourself to resign, just let your memberships quietly lapse. You’ll find you’ve reclaimed a significant chunk of your free time.