I was at work when the text pinged through on my mobile.
Are you mad?
I didn’t recognize the number, so threw the phone into my bag, out of reach and out of temptation. But I was only able to leave it for a couple of minutes. How can you ignore a text like that?
Sorry? I typed back.
Are you a glutton for punishment? Came the reply.
I was getting a bit freaked out. I either knew this person well, or this was a dodgy offer from an S&M dungeon.
I don’t think I’m either, so you must have the wrong person, I wrote.
You’ve got to be a fruit bat if you think going to see my nutty family is worth taking time off work for.
I leaned back in my chair and thought for a moment, before a smile spread across my face. There was only one person this could be.
James?
Er yeah … who else would it be?
Me: Hey, how are you?
J: I’m good. How were your few days with the hillbillies?
I laughed out loud, and Tess, my colleague on the desk opposite mine, smiled and raised her eyebrows.
Me: Lovely! I wouldn’t knock it, you’re surprisingly alike.
J: Eh? How come?
Me: Fraser and Ewan are the very same as you and Adam. The apples don’t fall very far from that particular tree.
J: Oh, well that’s a bit awkward as they’re both adopted.
Me: Oh my God—I’m so sorry, I had no idea.
J: You didn’t comment on a resemblance, did you? They’re super-sensitive.
I ransacked my brain, desperately trying to remember whether I had or not. It would have been a typical comment for me to make, a way to make idle conversation.
Me: I hope not. I feel really bad now.
J: You’d know if you had, cos Fraser would have gone for you. He’s got a real short fuse that one.
I had to assume that I hadn’t said anything, but that didn’t make me feel any better.
J: You still there? James asked, after I’d been quiet for a few minutes.
Me: Yep
J: And you didn’t say anything about Auntie Linda being married to her brother, did you?
What? The little sod.
Me: Oh very funny!
J: Had you there though didn’t I?
Me: No! Not sure how that side of your family are so nice?!? You should go see them more often. You could learn a lot!
J: I can’t. I get a nosebleed whenever I go north of the River Thames.
I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh.
J: You ready for Adam’s party? Got your dress?
Me: Yes. Have you got yours?
J: Ha ha … mine’s red, just so you know. I don’t want us clashing.
Me: You wearing your hair up or down?
J: Oh definitely up. Do-ups are all the rage these days.
Me: It’s not a do-up, it’s an up-do!
J: It’s the same difference.
Me: Will Chloe be coming? I had no idea why I’d asked that, and instantly wanted to retrieve the message, but it was too late.
J: Yep, she’ll be there. I think she’s wearing blue so we should be OK.
The tone of the conversation had changed, and I suddenly felt like a petulant child wanting to go back to how it was.
Great. I typed. I’ll be sure to say hello.
The mention of his girlfriend seemed to throw us both off-kilter as he came back with a winking emoji and a kiss.
I didn’t respond.