Epilogue

Long after the fire had burned itself out, I sat on the gnarled roots of one of the massive live oaks and watched the smoke rise from the smoldering ash of what once had been the grandest house on River Road. Le Ciel Doux had burned for almost twenty-four hours before the flames were finally controlled.

Everyone was safe. Lucy had snapped to as soon as the charm Thisbe had bound her soul to had caught fire in
the house, and Odane didn’t even need to be treated for the smoke he’d inhaled. Piers was still in the hospital for observation, but he was stable and he’d recover. I knew I needed to go see him. I knew staying away was probably cowardly. I knew that nothing that had happened between us had been his fault, not the call or the distance, but still, I felt different. I felt changed somehow, and I wasn’t sure what that meant for us. We had things to say, but I wasn’t ready to open all that up. Not quite yet.

A shadow fell over me, blocking the morning sun. “You gonna sit here all day?” Mama Legba asked.

I glanced up at her, but I didn’t answer.

“You know, if she didn’t love you somewhere down deep inside, she wouldn’t never have let you go,” she said, taking a seat next to me. “She’d have made you stay and watched you burn right along with her, just for the spite of it.”

I wanted to believe those words, but I wasn’t sure. I’d been thinking about this very thing for the past day. Maybe she’d let me go because I still carried a part of her with me. Maybe I should have burned up with her.

Mama Legba put her hand on my arm. “You ain’t your mother, Chloe-girl. Whatever she told you, you ain’t her at all. You never was. You was never gonna be.”

I didn’t believe that either, because I could still feel something deep down inside of me. Something that reminded me of the young Thisbe, the hopeful girl who waited in the coolness of pines and whose eyes lit up when Augustine had come for her.

“She wasn’t all bad, you know,” I said, finally squinting over at Mama Legba. “She did what she because she loved him.”

Mama Legba shook her head. “What Thisbe did those many years ago didn’t have nothing to do with love, Chloe-girl.” She tilted my chin up gently so I was forced to look her in the eye. “What that girl did way back when, what she kept on doing, only had to do with fear.”

I pulled away from her, swallowing hard.

“I don’t even know who I am,” I said softly. “It’s like my whole life’s been nothing but a lie.”

Mama Legba patted me on the knee. “It don’t matter what has been as much as what’s gonna be, Chloe-girl. You gonna let your fear rule your future or is you gonna let go of that worry and live? Choice is yours, and you get to do with it what you will.”

She stood then and gave my shorn head an affectionate pat before she sauntered off, leaving me to my thoughts.

Odane found me not too long after. “You okay?” he asked, settling down next to me on the root.

“No,” I told him honestly, and he wrapped an arm around me. I didn’t pull away this time. Because in the circle of his arms, I knew at least that someone understood everything I’d just been through—without explanation or excuse.

“You will be, though,” he said. “You beat a demon and destroyed a witch. You’re strong enough for anything, Chloe. You’ll get through this, and you’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” I said, starting to feel the truth of Mama Legba’s words. “Maybe one of these days.”

“Not one of these days,” he told me. “You need to start now.”

I pulled away from him. “How am I supposed to do that? People died because of her.” My voice got softer. “You could have died because of her, and I feel like there’s still a part of her inside of me.”

“Maybe there is,” Odane said.

I looked up, surprised.

He smiled. “You have her blood in you. You’re never going to be able to erase that.” He shrugged. “Maybe she was telling the truth and you have something more of hers in you, too. Maybe not. It doesn’t matter.”

I shook my head, wanting to disagree. Because of course it mattered.

“It doesn’t,” he insisted. “I got my father’s blood in me, but you don’t condemn me for it, do you?”

I shook my head, because he was right. I didn’t blame him for being Ikenna’s son. “How can you be so sure about me?” I asked, resting my head in my hands.

His mouth kicked up into a grin. “I’m not usually wrong about things.” Then his expression was soft, thoughtful. “Stop being afraid, Chloe. Aunt Odette can help you figure out what you are. You’ve been running for a while now. It’s time to stop and claim whatever you might have inside of you as your own.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can,” he said, and he walked over to the edge of the charred remains and cupped his hands around some of the ash. He brought it to me, and I held out my hands to receive it. “Start with love and send her spirit on its way, Chloe.”

“I can’t—” I started to say, moving to give him back the ash he’d given me. I didn’t want any power.

But he wouldn’t take it. “You can. Come on.”

He helped me up, and we walked together to the riverbank. Up over the levee until we could see the muddy breadth of the Mississippi glinting in the morning light.

A breeze rustled through the trees, like the land itself was waiting.

“Go on,” Odane said, urging me forward.

I walked, alone, to the shore, and then I walked a bit further, until the mud and muck of the river pulled at my shoes. Silently I called to Damballah, to all the spirits of the light, but I didn’t feel anything.

I looked back at Odane, but his expression was calm, confident. He gave me a small nod, as though urging me to try again.

Closing my eyes, I drew on that part of me, that deep down part of me that I knew wanted to be set free. The part I’d been feeling ever since they’d cut my hair. I’d been too afraid to look at it before, but I looked at it now. I pulled it up from the depths of who I was and let it uncurl and stretch itself out. It warmed in response and practically purred its satisfaction, but to my surprise, it didn’t feel anything like my mother. I staggered back at the unexpected welcome of it.

I couldn’t stop the smile from curving at my mouth as I took a deep breath and raised my ash-filled hands to the sun, the stars, and the world wide. When my voice rang out, it chanted words I never realized I knew. Words that had always been deep, deep inside of me.

This time, the spirit answered.

The End