Rachel was on the sofa with Hope on her knee while Martin and her mum sat on opposing armchairs. As she listened to Martin telling Karen all about his new business venture, Rachel rested her chin on Hope’s head which had begun to feel heavy against her chest, a sure sign she was drifting off to sleep. The little girl still had her new iPad clutched in her hand even though Rachel had told her to switch it off half an hour ago. If the gift from Martin was intended as a bribe to win her over then it seemed to have worked. Hope hadn’t exactly showered Martin with new-found affection but with her eyes glued to the LCD screen, she had at least stopped glaring at him with suspicion.
‘I think it’s time for bed,’ Rachel whispered in her daughter’s ear.
‘Would you like me to take her?’ Karen asked. Her eyes had been glazing over as she listened to Martin and she looked eager for escape.
‘It’s OK, you stay there,’ Rachel insisted as she heaved herself off the sofa with Hope.
‘Would you like me to help? I could read you a story, Hope.’
Balanced on Rachel’s hip, Hope was facing away from Martin so he didn’t see the contortions on her face which had miraculously settled into a sweet smile when she turned around to say, ‘No, thank you. I’m too sleepy.’
The glass of wine at dinner had settled Rachel’s nerves and the efforts Hope was putting in to at least appear polite gave her some much needed reassurance. As she left the room, the conversation resumed and Rachel smiled to herself. This really could work.
‘This must be such an exciting time for you,’ Karen said, determined to find out more about the man who had stolen her daughter’s heart.
‘Yes, it’s hard to believe how much things are changing. This time last year I was juggling my time between my job and visiting mum. I can honestly say I didn’t have a life beyond that.’
‘Did you look after your mum for very long?’
Martin’s laugh was tinged with sadness. ‘Most of my life,’ he said. ‘I was in my teens when my dad died so I became the man of the house. Mum started acting a bit odd shortly afterwards, so she frightened away a few girlfriends, that’s for sure, but we both put it down to her grief. It was only when I came home from university that she was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and caring for her took over more and more of my life.’
‘It must have been a difficult time for you.’
‘Which is why I’m making up for it now and doing my best not to feel guilty. My mum kept a tight hold of the purse strings, saving and investing for the future but look what happened to her. OK, her wealth funded her care in the last year of her life, but she never used her money to enjoy her life while she could. I won’t make the same mistake and I want Rachel to enjoy that same kind of freedom. I don’t want her to waste any more of her life.’
Karen bristled. ‘Life may not have gone the way she planned but she has a beautiful daughter to show for those wasted years.’
Martin rubbed his face to cool his glowing cheeks. ‘Of course and I didn’t mean to suggest she should wish her away, but while we’re in Liverpool I want her to live a little, that’s all.’
‘Assuming Hope doesn’t go with you straight away.’
‘Which is why I need your help convincing Rae that it’s the right thing to do. She’d see that now if she wasn’t feeling so guilty. It’s just until we settle in. Then later, we can see …’
‘It’s not about guilt,’ Karen said. ‘Rachel wants … No, Rachel needs Hope in her life.’
‘But so do you,’ Martin was quick to add. ‘If we’re talking about guilt then I do feel terrible about taking your family away from you all at once.’
‘What is it you want, Martin?’ Karen asked candidly. ‘How do you see your future with Rachel?’
‘I want to marry her, if that’s what you mean.’ The blush in his cheeks was glowing furiously now.
Karen tried to smile. ‘No, what I meant was, do you want to settle down and become a family man; a father to Hope and whoever else comes along? Because if I’m honest, you don’t seem ready for that.’
‘My relationship with Hope will take time to develop for both of us but yes, one day I’d like to be a father.’
‘But first you’d like to enjoy yourself.’
‘I want to spoil your daughter too,’ Martin said. ‘We’ll have to work hard to make the business work but it won’t be all work and no play. I want to take her on exotic holidays too and just pamper her in general.’
‘Including driving her around in your sports car?’ Karen added, raising an eyebrow. ‘I hear your old car is ready for the scrap heap.’ When Martin agreed, she added, ‘So when you’re not working or living it up and Rachel needs to see Hope, how will you all fit into the two-seater exactly?’
Martin didn’t look fazed. ‘When Rachel eventually learns to drive then I’ll get her a runaround but until then there are other options. That’s why I bought Hope an iPad. They can use Facetime to see and talk to each other as often as they like.’
‘So Rachel will be able to see her daughter, she just won’t be able to hold her?’ she said, suddenly understanding Martin’s intentions quite clearly.
When Rachel came downstairs, she noticed the change in atmosphere immediately. Karen and Martin were sitting in silence and wouldn’t meet each other’s gaze. When Martin decided to call it an early night, no one argued, not even Rachel. She needed to find out what had happened between them.
‘Martin has no intention of Hope coming to live with you,’ Karen said before Rachel had even asked. They were still standing in the hall and the headlights of Martin’s car flashed across the window. ‘I’m sorry, Rachel, but I don’t think he’ll ever be able to give you what you want, not the important things anyway.’
‘I thought you wanted to support me, mum,’ Rachel said levelly so as not to turn the discussion into a confrontation.
‘I won’t support you running off to Liverpool and turning your back on your family.’
Rachel raised her voice to match her mum’s. ‘I have no intention of turning my back on my family. I might have agreed, reluctantly I may add, that I’d consider Hope staying here, but that would only be for a couple of months. I’ve made that very clear to Martin.’
‘Not clear enough,’ her mum countered. ‘I’d say he’s thinking that it’s more like two years and I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s hoping to put it off for so long that you’ll forget to take her at all.’
‘One way or another, Hope will be coming to Liverpool to live with me and Martin,’ Rachel replied, louder than she would have liked.
Karen opened her mouth to cast another accusation but Hope stole her thunder.
‘I don’t want to go to Liverpool!’ she cried.
Karen and Rachel looked up to see the little girl in her apple green pyjamas cowering at the top of the stairs, still rubbing sleep from her eyes. Her lip trembled but not as much as the rest of her body. ‘I don’t like your nasty, smelly boyfriend, Mummy, so he can go to Liverpool all by himself and never come back!’ She gulped back a sob, wet with angry tears. ‘You said if I didn’t like him you would send him away! Well, I don’t like him, Mummy! I don’t like him one bit!’
‘Hope, sweetheart,’ Rachel said. She made a move to go up to her but Hope stepped back and threatened to turn and run, so Rachel was forced to stay where she was, empty handed. ‘I know it’s going to be a bit scary but it’s also going to be a big adventure.’ In her mind, Rachel was pleading with her daughter. Don’t do this, Hope. Don’t make it any more difficult than it already is. Don’t make me give up my one chance of happiness.
‘I don’t want to live with him and you can’t make me!’
Rachel wanted to sink to her knees but she somehow managed to stand up to the six year old. ‘I’m your mum, Hope, and this is a tough decision but it’s one I have to make. Not you. I want you to be happy and this is going to be—’
Hope rushed downstairs and straight past Rachel to reach her nan. ‘Don’t let her take me away from you, Nana. Please!’
It took all of Rachel’s willpower to stand and watch as her mother and her daughter were reduced to sobs. ‘I love you both so much,’ she began, not sure where her thoughts were leading her any more. ‘You are my reason for living, Hope, but I love Martin too. He makes me happy. He makes me feel like a real person again.’ Her last comment was directed at her mum but, from the look on Karen’s face, she was of the same opinion as her granddaughter. ‘Please, mum. Why are you doing this? You said you would help me.’
Karen couldn’t look at her daughter and when she spoke, she talked softly in the hope that her sobbing granddaughter wouldn’t overhear her reservations. ‘I won’t stand in your way and God forgive me, I won’t retract my offer of having Hope, if only for her sake, but I can’t give you my blessing, Rachel, so please don’t ask me to. Maybe I don’t know Martin as well as you but I heard enough to know he’s in no rush to take on the responsibilities of a family. You need to be very clear about what he’s expecting you to sacrifice for him.’
Despite the sight of devastation in front of her, Rachel felt herself harden. She was twenty-five years old and she wasn’t ready to be a spinster. Her mum might be happy being single but Rachel wanted something different, something better. ‘You’re wrong, mum. Martin would do anything for me.’
Karen finally looked up. ‘So let him prove it,’ she said. ‘That weekend away you have planned, take Hope with you. Oh, that’s right, you can’t all fit into his new car, can you?’ She didn’t wait for an answer but said, ‘He’ll just have to hire something bigger, assuming he’s as keen as you think he is to have Hope living with you.’
Hope yanked her head up. ‘No, Nana, I don’t want to go. Why can’t I stay here with you?’
Rachel pursed her lips to stop herself from saying something she might regret. She was tired of being the only one fighting for Hope to come to Liverpool with her and so the suggestion her daughter had made in all innocence was left floating in the ether, gathering substance.