“Hey, guys! This is Don’t Look Now with Dovid and Rachel. I’m Dovid, Rachel’s behind the camera, and today we’re going to eat the entirety of Norway!”
Sam watched, smiling, as Dovid proceeded to introduce him to a variety of Norwegian eateries and bakeries and took him on a tasting adventure—with Rachel behind the camera, of course, eating too and doing just as much exclaiming.
Dovid and Rachel were on a plane back to Seattle at this very moment. Dovid had texted Sam before he’d gotten on the plane, just for one last communication while they were in the same time zone.
He already missed him so much.
But watching his videos was another sort of way to experience Dovid. Sam hadn’t gotten a chance to watch most of the footage Don’t Look Now had released during their trip. Mostly because he had actually been saving up to watch them for when Dovid had gone. And somewhat because, for some of the time during uploads, he’d been lucky enough to get Dovid in person.
Dovid was going home with another one of Sam’s shirts and a bunch of memories, some documented both for themselves and the internet.
In the meantime, Sam still had the rest of Monday off and he had work to do. Dovid had sat down with him and helped him plan out his Patreon tiers, uploading schedule, and some ideas of how to explain it to his subscribers. Now Sam had to make a video introducing it all.
In the end, Sam had decided he would only have two tiers to start with, a one-dollar and a five-dollar tier. One dollar would be a general thank-you for providing regular content, in the same way Don’t Look Now’s tier worked, and he would do his best to record his regular Sunday videos on Saturday, to give those first-tier patrons an early release link, at least once in a while. Five dollars and patrons got unlisted links to an exclusive Patreon-only series. Sam was going to put out a poll on which game he’d do the series of—Dire Straits or Brightforest. He was most known for Dire Straits now, and that was what was still his more popular series, but Brightforest was also getting popular, especially since it was still in beta. The link itself would be posted, as Rachel suggested, every Wednesday. However, just like he had done with the video he’d recorded with Dovid, the video itself didn’t have to be recorded actually on Wednesday.
Originally, Dovid had suggested recording for an hour and breaking the video into twenty-minute chunks, so Sam could film all his extra content for the month in one session. But that would have meant Sam wouldn’t be able to take suggestions or answer questions from his viewers. It had been the deciding factor, in the end; Sam wanted to interact with his audience. So he’d record an extra twenty minutes sometime in the week when he felt up to it and then put the link up on Wednesday. It didn’t seem too daunting anymore, not after all the prep and planning and talking. He was actually sort of looking forward to embarking on a new project.
It took several stops and starts, and a few judicious edits, but eventually he settled on the audio he wanted.
“Hello, everybody, I’m Sam. Now, usually this is the part where I introduce the game I’m going to play for you. However, today I’m actually going to be introducing something else entirely.
“After some cajoling from some good friends, I’ve decided to try out making a Patreon. The links to it can be found here, or in the description box below. If, well, if you like my videos and would like to support me, there are two reward tiers. The first, a dollar, is just a thank-you for my work if you are so inclined. The second tier is a five-dollar donation. Patrons at this tier will get access to a patron-only let’s play series, for either Dire Straits or Brightforest. I’ve a poll up right now that will stay up for a week where you can vote on which series you’d like me to start, and then you can expect new, exclusive videos every week.
“I really do appreciate all of your support so very, very much and wanted to say thank you for watching my channel. I’m hoping that my channel will continue to grow with content and what I can do with it, and this will help enable me to do so. I’d love it if you all came along with me for the ride.”
After playing the video over altogether too many times, Sam took a deep breath and just uploaded it, set his Patreon to “live” and determinedly left his flat to go take a walk so that he wouldn’t dwell too much about what the internet as a whole might think. He did take his phone, but he kept it turned on silent and refused to check it during said walk.
It took a great deal of wandering and a stop at his local grocery store to pick up some ingredients for dinner, but by the time he was home again and preparing a meal, he had calmed down a lot. Enough that he was able to pull out his phone and open the book about the history of Cadbury he and Dovid had decide to read together next. He was able to get lost in that while he ate.
It was only after he’d put away his leftovers and washed up that he allowed himself to go back to his desk and check the views on his video, and his Patreon alerts. Since it had only been up for about two hours, he wasn’t expecting very much at all.
Which was why the ten thousand views was a surprise, especially since the video had been specifically titled “Patreon Campaign” to keep people from watching what was, essentially, a commercial if they didn’t want to.
Which was why the fifty-seven, forty-six of whom were second-tier, new patrons were even more of a surprise, good god.
And that was just in two hours.
Sam swallowed. The idea that he might be able to subsist on just gaming alone seemed like a much more possible concept now.
Wow.
Dovid Rosenstein: Hey, just wanted to let you know we arrived home safe and sound. You’re probably asleep right now, hopefully having good dreams. Talk to you tomorrow? I’ll be jet-lagged out of my mind but definitely up and around at eleven o’clock <3
“Dovid! How was your flight?”
“Hey, you.” Dovid leaned back in his chair. “It wasn’t too bad. No crying children, which is always a plus. Mostly we tried to sleep. There was plenty of sleep we needed to catch up on. There isn’t a whole lot of editing possible to do in the air, but we got a few things figured out.”
“Wonderful. I’m glad it wasn’t too miserable.”
“The only real miserable thing was that I was leaving you behind.” He was gratified to hear Sam laugh. “What? I thought that was smooth.”
“Smooth and suave,” Sam said, teasing grin clear in his voice. “But of course I miss you too. So much.”
“Yeah...” Dovid shook his head, refusing to dwell. Sam in his ear was still Sam. “Anyway. How’d your day back at work go?”
“It was alright. I thought a few people would be cross with me that I took Monday off, because those are usually quite busy, but no one mentioned it. And the day was really quite mild.”
“That’s good. That’s great.”
“Also, erm...”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t suppose you checked my Patreon since you got back, have you?”
Dovid’s eyebrows shot up. “I honestly forgot all about it. Hey yeah! How’s it going?” Even as he asked, he was moving to his computer to pull up the website.
“Quite...quite well,” Sam said.
“Yeah?” he paused, waiting. It sounded as though Sam wanted to tell him himself. “Anything you wanna share with the class?”
“I’ve two hundred and seventy-six patrons as of right this very moment. One hundred and ninety-three of those are second-tier.”
“Holy shit! Sam, that’s incredible. That video’s been up for how long?”
“Just over twenty-four hours.”
“That’s so amazing. I’m so proud of you.” Dovid did the math in his head. “If they all stick around for another week that’s over a grand for you!”
“I, well, yes.”
“Fuck, that’s—Sam. Sam.”
“I know,” Sam said, with a nervous laugh. “I’m afraid I—I don’t know quite what to do. I wasn’t expecting this many, and certainly not so soon. I—Dovid, I—”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to get ahead of myself but—but if some of these people actually stick with me, I...there’s a very good chance I could actually leave my job.”
“Fuck yeah,” Dovid said. “I know! And you sound super nervous, so I’m going to keep being excited for you but also what’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, not really. I just don’t know where to go from here? How to keep from disappointing everyone. This is...this is more than just putting videos up on YouTube for fun. This is people actually wanting to pay me money for those videos.”
“You can start by giving your patrons what they’re donating for; more of your videos. How’s the poll doing?”
“Skewed rather heavily for more Dire Straits. A new character was released as a DLC and a lot of them are requesting that I play as her.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Dovid said. “And that’s all you need right now. If people don’t like what you do, no one is going to make them keep donating or subscribing. If they do like your stuff, they’ll stick around. If there’s like, an overwhelming amount of people who aren’t happy and say so, that’s when you might want to step back and reconsider a little what you’re doing and putting out there, but really... Sam, I said it before and I’ll say it again: I might have helped get people watching you, but viewers have stayed this long because they like you and what you’re doing. And almost three hundred people liked what you’ve done so far enough to donate to you for future work. I think the only way you’re really going to disappoint anyone at this point is if you get a personality transplant.”
“Thank you,” Sam said quietly. “That you have so much faith in me means the world.”
“No, yeah, of course. Of course I do.”
“Thank you,” Sam said again. The sound of a throat being cleared. “So, what’s on the schedule today?”
Dovid twisted back and forth in his chair. “Editing more footage, once Rachel and I fully wake up. I actually only got up a little while ago, in part because it was getting close to our phone time.”
“Oh. You didn’t have to do that. You could have slept in.”
Dovid laughed. “We got home around three and I slept til ten. That’s still seven hours of sleep. I’m a little wired right now to be honest; technically it’s seven-fifteen for me too, and I just slept the day away. Jet lag’s gonna be weird the next few days. Talking to you on a set schedule helps. Means I’ve gotta be up and doing stuff.”
“Whatever works,” Sam said. “I’m glad to be talking to you.”
“Right back atcha.”
“So more editing?”
“Yeah. A lot more. People know we were on a tour so our video uploads would be erratic, and we were able to get a little bit done while we were abroad—that’s why we were able to release that video of Norway—but we’ve still got pretty much two weeks’ worth of footage to get through and edit. The next few days we’re going to be holed up at home or in coffee shops crunched up over our computer screens.”
“Good luck with all that. I, for one, am really looking forward to watching your whole trip, or whatever you care to show us.”
“Hey, you heard about it plenty while I was over there. Damn near talked your ear off.”
“And it was lovely. But this way I’ll get to experience it all again. Especially Ireland.”
“I’m still pumped we did that let’s play together. I didn’t really pay attention to the comments on it yet, but I might have downloaded and saved the audio file you sent me so I could listen to it again on the plane.”
A chuckle. “I’m glad you enjoyed it so much.”
“I really, really did.”
They chatted a little bit more about Sam’s day and Dovid’s plans, and Sam suggested a new documentary, this one about Vikings, for Dovid to watch when he got a chance.
“Sounds like a plan,” he said with a yawn. “Sorry. I’m awake, I promise.”
“You’ve had a busy few weeks,” Sam said, sounding amused. “I think being tired is allowed.”
“Yeah, yeah. Speaking of, I should probably check on Rachel and make sure she isn’t dead,” Dovid said forlornly. He didn’t want to stop talking to Sam but—
“You have a lot of work to do,” Sam said easily. “Go get started on it. I’ll be up for a few more hours yet, if you’d like to text me.”
Dovid smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Dire Straits, with its new player character Mindy, won the Patreon poll. By the time Sam was ready to record his first Patreon-exclusive episode, he had nearly three hundred second-tier patrons, all willing to pay him five dollars a month for four twenty-minute episodes. It was all still a little surreal.
Even more so after August sixth, when the money was deposited directly into his bank account.
Sam Doyle: I can’t believe it. I still can’t believe it.
Dovid Rosenstein: I can! And it’s GREAT.
Sam Doyle: This is really happening. It’s really possible.
Dovid Rosenstein: See? I told you you could make it happen. Your audience just wants more of you. You keep giving it to them, well. Stuff like this only gets easier and easier.
Sam swallowed. He hadn’t told Dovid the kicker yet.
Sam Doyle: Dovid, my flat is 1,200 euros a month including utilities. Food, transport... Between Patreon and YouTube, my entire month’s bills were paid through August.
Dovid Rosenstein: Holy SHIT, Sam, that’s fantastic!
Dovid Rosenstein: I’m so proud of you and happy for you and fuck just—I’m giving you the biggest invisible hug right now.
Dovid Rosenstein: God I wish I could hold you right now. Maybe jump up and down with you. Definitely buy you a drink.
Sam Doyle: I’d be happy enough with the hug. But I suppose words will have to suffice.
Dovid Rosenstein: Listen, I’m about to leave for a shoot, but we should be done and home in a couple hours. Maybe three. Would you still be awake by then to talk-talk?
Sam Doyle: Of course. I’d love to. Just call me when you can :)
Dovid Rosenstein: I can call tomorrow at eleven. I don’t want you to stay up too late.
Sam Doyle: I’ll be reading <3
Dovid Rosenstein: Okay, I’ll talk to you soon then. Love you.
Sam Doyle: Love you too.
“Hey, you,” Dovid said, slinging off his backpack full of camera equipment to deal with later and making his way to his room.
“Hello.” Sam sounded sleepy. Dovid’d have to make this short, even though he was bursting. Rachel had wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him to be so happy. When he’d told her about Sam, she’d damn well near shrieked with glee though. “It’s good to hear your voice.”
“Right back atcha,” Dovid said. “And I won’t keep you, because you need to sleep, but I just wanted to tell you in person how super-duper happy I am for you. And proud. And fuck, I love you so, so much. I’m so glad this is starting to work out for you. That you’re doing it. That this is something you can and are doing.”
“Thank you so much,” Sam said. “I...thank you. I love you too.”
“So what are you thinking? Taking the gaming world by storm?”
Sam chuckled, making Dovid smile wider. “Oh nothing like that. But I’ve gotten my Loot Crate box, so I’m going to film that unboxing like Rachel showed me.”
“Good, great. And when do you think you’ll be able to put that up?”
“That’s the other thing. I’m doing Dire Straits Friday nights still, and Brightforest Sundays, because it became so popular I’m still playing it. And then Patreon on Wednesday. I don’t want to overwhelm my viewers? Or put out too much content all at once?”
“That’s a good point. Even Rachel and I usually keep it to three videos a week, spaced out. And you’re right that you don’t want to put too much out at once; not only for your viewers, but it’s easier to burn out like that.”
“Right.”
“I’d suggest doing the unboxing video on Sunday, then. Your Dire Straits series on Friday is kind of a staple now, but you’ve only been doing Brightforest a few months. Maybe this Sunday add a note at the end of your video that you’ll be doing something different next Sunday, and post the video then?”
“Okay,” Sam said. He sounded like he was drifting. “I’ll do that, then.”
“Awesome. And this is awesome, and you’re awesome. So proud of you. Love you so much.”
“Love you too.”
“Now are you going to sleep?”
“I don’t want to stop talking to you,” Sam murmured.
“I’ll talk you through it then,” Dovid said, smiling softly. God he loved him so much. “Lie down?”
The sound of fabric moving around, and then Dovid heard a breathy “Alright. There we are.”
“Which side are you sleeping on this time?” Sam tended to curl up on one side when he slept. It was nice, when they slept together, because it made him easier to hold—and Dovid loved it when Sam wrapped around Dovid’s back to hold him.
“Left side.”
“Good. Your eyes are closed right?”
“Mm-hm.”
“And I’m right there, next to you.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah. See? You can hear me. I’m right there.”
“Mm.”
“I’m the big spoon this time. Holding you from behind. Our legs are tangled up, a little, but it’s okay.”
“Yes...”
“Drift off with me, Sam?”
“Love you.” Mumbled. Sam was probably barely awake.
“I love you too.”
September was a whirlwind of activity for Dovid. Aside from YouTube, he also did some side-work as a public speaker, both volunteer and paid. With school sessions all starting up, he was often brought in to speak to student bodies about things like personal power, growth, acceptance, and success. Sometimes he was an example of what anyone could grow up to be. Other times he was a minor-celebrity getting to speak out against bullying.
Whatever the reason, he enjoyed the work, but there was a lot of it and it was draining, especially with travel time; he went all over the country. Not to mention that he and Rachel still had to keep up with their usual filming and editing schedule. And while most of August was just them putting up videos from the July Europe tour, September was a new month that needed to be filled with new content.
No matter what though, he made sure to make time for Sam.
Sam, who was continuing to be a rising success in his own right in the gaming community. His YouTube subscribers only continued to grow, his view count remained high, and his Patreon was a continued success. Like Dovid had suggested, Sam continued with Dire Straits let’s plays on Friday nights, but switched it up on Sunday. He finished his run of Brightforest and started a new game, Dew Meadow, which was also offered for him to review first. He liked the game so much and the review was so popular that he started it the next week. Some Sundays though, he posted other reviews or opened blind boxes instead. He’d been sent a few different ones now. And Wednesday nights Dovid and Rachel got to watch more of the Mindy Dire Straits one (because of course they were patrons).
Dovid did spend a lot of time either working like crazy or asleep, so phone calls were sporadic and texts happened throughout the day as time allowed. They missed each other, missed the closeness they got to have back in July, especially with it nearing October. But being a voice in each other’s ears was good too.
Ready, Dovid typed to him through Skype. Sam grinned and made the call. After a moment it connected, and he found himself staring at Dovid’s beaming face. Rachel was just next to him, looking exasperatedly fond. “Hello,” he said to the both of them.
Dovid, if possible, lit up even more. “Hey, you.” Then, “So? Am I in the shot? Facing the right way?”
Sam couldn’t tell if he was talking to him or Rachel, but he nodded just the same. “You are,” he said happily.
“Awesome.” Dovid tilted his head in Rachel’s direction, without moving too much aside from that. Probably in an effort to stay within view. “That’s your cue, thank you for your help, now go away.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Hi, Sam. Bye, Sam.”
“It was nice to see you too,” Sam told her. “And oh, I’m almost done with that walk-through you asked for.”
“Oh my god,” Rachel said. “Thank you so much. I can’t find any hints anywhere, since the game is still in beta.”
“Happy to help.”
“Yes, okay.” Dovid flapped a hand. “Are you done taking up his attention now?”
Rachel grinned. “Yup, don’t worry. I’m going.” She walked out of the shot.
“Close the door behind you!” Dovid called, still without turning his head from facing the monitor.
“Like I want to hear you two anyway!” followed by a near-slam.
“There now,” Sam laughed. “You didn’t have to be mean.”
“Please. Do you know how much shit she’s given me in, like, the last week alone about our date night plans? Even if they’re date afternoons for me. Because seriously, so much shit.”
There was a time, not even all that long ago, where that would have made Sam feel guilty, for taking up Dovid’s time. But Sam knew just how dearly Dovid enjoyed his time being taken up by Sam. Since Sam wanted Dovid just as much, they both won the more they managed to be in each other’s pockets. It was why he’d suggested regular, planned out Skype dates in the first place, on top of the phone calls whenever they could manage. Sleepy good nights were wonderful, but: “I know you can’t see me but, well, I can see you. And I’d like to, as often as I can.” Dovid had made some flippant, teasing remark, but his obvious delight at the suggestion made it worth it for that alone.
So now Sam simply grinned, in on the joke. He and Charlie didn’t quite have the same relationship Dovid and Rachel had, but he understood sibling love. “How silly have you been about our plans, to have her give you so much trouble?”
Dovid pinched his fingers together. “Oh, you know. The usual amount.”
Dovid pushed his hands up underneath his glasses to cover his face. He was so tired. They’d just gotten home from a full day. A shoot with Rachel and then a bunch of editing and then an afternoon speech at a special-needs school which was always great but always so draining...
Kids who just wanted validation, to know that they could go out and do things they wanted to do. Kids who got stepped on and bullied and sneered at and Dovid had been one of them once, in some ways, before he grew up a little and learned to take some of his own back. Before he got good-looking enough that most people saw that before they saw his glasses. And even then, only sometimes. Sometimes the comments were worse because of that, like they didn’t realize he was a thinking, feeling person, as opposed to a nice body that came with a white cane.
“You look totally beat,” Rachel said. “Why don’t you take a nap or something?”
“It’s like five pm. That is not the ideal time to nap.”
“With our schedules it can be. If you’re not up by seven, I’ll just make dinner myself.”
“Don’t you dare try to make dinner,” Dovid said alarmed.
A sigh. “I mean I’ll order dinner myself. Chinese? I’ll get your favorites.” It was a good comfort food for both of them.
“Yeah, thanks. That sounds good.” He yawned, unable to stop it.
Rachel poked him in the shoulder. “Go. Take. A. Nap.”
“Okay, okay, I’m going.”
Dovid went to his room and flopped down on his bed. Eventually he wiggled around, pulling his phone out of his pocket and crawling under the covers.
After a minute of wondering why he still wasn’t comfortable, he took his glasses off and folded them up, setting them on the pillow beside him next to his phone. Then he proceeded to make himself a blanket burrito.
He sighed and closed his eyes. Five o’clock, meaning it was one in the morning for Sam. Way, way too late to call. Or even text; Sam might be doing that thing where he stayed up until ungodly hours of the morning reading, and if Dovid texted him, Sam would text back and deny he was too tired to keep up the conversation and Dovid wasn’t about to chance that. He loved Sam just the way he was, but sometimes Sam acquiesced to things too easily, not wanting to make waves. He was getting a lot better about it as his self-confidence grew; saying “no” to fans, sponsors, and extra hours at work when he felt he needed to. He even said no to Dovid sometimes. But if Sam knew Dovid was feeling this shitty, he’d stay up all night trying to help ease that. And Dovid was feeling so down, he’d probably take whatever Sam would be willing to give him even with being aware Sam was losing sleep over it.
So he needed to wait. He knew he needed to wait.
Dovid wished he could talk to Sam now. That they were closer.
Well. He’d have tomorrow.
Yeah.
“Hi,” Sam said when he called, smile in his voice. “How are you? How was yesterday?”
Dovid, still tired, bit down a yawn. He felt he hadn’t slept at all. He’d only gotten up half an hour ago, and that was mainly because he didn’t want to be late in talking to Sam. “I’m okay,” he said. “Tired. Yesterday was...draining.”
“Oh no, that doesn’t sound good. Do you want to talk about it?”
Dovid shrugged, not that Sam could see. Sleep had at least helped dull the ache. “It’s not a big deal. I just was doing another pep-talk speech thing yesterday. I love doing it but it can get hard. I... I had a lot of people try to kick me down when I was growing up. It’s sometimes hard to go to these schools and know that’s how these kids have been treated. To know that there are so many others I can’t help.”
“That does sound hard,” Sam said. “I’m sorry.” A pause. “If it helps... I think you are helping. You’re there for people to find, to reach out to. You helped me, you know.”
“Sam—”
“No, I don’t mean with YouTube and my channel or anything like that. Well, I sort of do. You helped me with my confidence. To start really being my own person. I don’t think I would have ever tried what I’m doing now without you. You gave me all the pushes I needed. That’s something. It’s something to me.”
Dovid pressed a hand over his eyes. He wasn’t crying, and he absolutely refused to get a runny, snotty nose while on the phone with Sam. “Wow, um. Thanks.”
“You mean so much to a lot of people, Dovid. You’re so very special and good.”
“Thanks,” Dovid whispered. It was exactly what he needed to hear.
He knew Sam’d be able to give that to him.