THE RIDE TO Trentingham was awkward.
Rand was subdued while Rose was silent altogether, leaving Lily struggling to keep up a civil chatter more or less on her own. The worst of it was that for the first time since the baptism, she found herself wracking her brain to find anything to discuss with Rand. Their ease with each other was gone, their relationship changing already.
It was only two hours between the estates, yet the time passed like the carriage’s wheels were mired in mud. Though Beatrix rode inside, her warm softness on Lily’s lap failed to provide any comfort. When they finally rolled up before the manor, she couldn’t wait to get into the house.
Just inside the door, Mum met her and wrapped her in a hug. “That was a short visit.”
Lily clung to her mother for a moment, inhaling her familiar floral scent. “It felt like a lifetime.” When she pulled away, she looked around as though seeing her home for the first time. So light and bright, the staircase off the entry fashioned of classical white balustrades instead of heavy, dark carved wood. The atmosphere warm and loving, not cold and full of resentment. “It’s good to be home.”
Concern flooded her mother’s brown eyes. “Do you not like Hawkridge Hall? Will you not want to live there?”
“Oh, Mum, it seems I won’t be living there even if I did want to!” Here, finally, was someone who cared. Lily had felt invisible at Hawkridge Hall—no, worse than invisible. A burden to Rand and persona non grata to everyone else, including her own sister. “Things have changed—”
Spotting Rand standing in the doorway, she broke off.
“Rand.” Though Mum smiled at him, the expression in her eyes said she knew something was wrong. “How very nice to see you again. You’ll stay for supper, won’t you? Or does your father expect you back at Hawkridge this afternoon?”
“No,” he said dully. “I’m going home to Oxford for a few days.”
“The sun sets late this time of year, so you can stay for dinner, then, at least.”
He shrugged as though he didn’t care. “I’m going for a run,” he said to Lily, already struggling out of his surcoat. “I’ll be back in a while.”
“No,” she said. “Oh, no.”
As he turned and walked away, Mum laid a gentle hand on Lily’s arm. “I can see that things didn’t go well with his father. Leave him be, dear.”
“No.” Lily started toward the door. “I’ve let him be quite enough. I’ll be back and explain later.”
“Lily!” Mum called.
But she was already out the door and down the steps.