WHEN WE TRY TO TRANSLATE, or “read,” body language, our understanding of others’ behaviors, feelings and intentions is based on our best guesses about the meaning of that body language, assumptions we have consciously or unconsciously made from the biased position we occupy in the world at that moment. We form a theory of mind about other people and their relation to the powers at play. We then respond, consciously or unconsciously, with our own display of body language, which reveals or conceals our relation to the power. And all of this sometimes in the blink of an eye.
Our interpretations of these power signals are very personal, based on our unique physical and cultural position in the world when we experience events. It’s not that your own brain will have a complete set of unique tools for interpreting information, as we all share some universal responses to patterns of behavior. The unique deciphering comes from your specific take on it—your view, angle or skew—along with your current state of mind.
Every time you think you know somebody else’s inner thoughts, feelings and intentions from reading their body language, what is actually happening is that you are making a judgment about what power they may have in relation to you based on the signals they are displaying or concealing around their response to that power—power they do have or think they have, or power they speculate is present in the environment around them, including you. You and they are both predicting risks and rewards around that power, and you both are responding to suit your own best interests.
By becoming more mindful during these moments of judgment, by taking into account the implications of context and the principles by which you are judging others’ behaviors, and by becoming more attuned to yourself as part of the entire body language analysis process, you will more accurately decipher the body language of others and use your own body language in the moment in more constructive ways. You will build your knowledge, skill, confidence and competency when assessing the body language signs and behaviors of those around you, even and perhaps especially when under pressure.