I never worry about what the people at work think of me.
—Nobody honest, EVER!
We can’t really avoid work. Our current civilization has been built on the work of all others so far, and we can recognize our development in the early tools central to our evolution. Where would we be without the flint ax or the bone needle?
But if work is so important, and has got us so far, why should it be such a stressor? Although many people are engaged and motivated by their work and even form lasting friendships in the workplace, more and more of us are taking time off because of depression or anxiety, or just to spend more time doing what gives us more satisfaction.
Work is necessary and can be extremely stimulating and satisfying, but the circumstances of work can alienate us from the people we are meant to be working closest with, who are indeed the people with whom we may spend the majority of our waking hours. And of course the majority of us rely on exchanging our work for money so we can get what we really need and want, the most powerful resources of food and shelter, and good times for ourselves, our families and friends—the people who matter most to us. To help us accomplish this sequence successfully, the relationships we have with our colleagues start to matter as much and sometimes even more than the relationships we have outside of work. Although we may let ourselves off the hook, and our friends and families may forgive us, if we can’t supply what they need because of challenges we are facing, our work colleagues may not be so forgiving during challenging times. It may be the continued good feelings of those workmates toward us that facilitate our ability to succeed and to earn what we need. And as we spend increasing amounts of our time working or at least being accessible to our work colleagues on our mobile devices, we end up spending a considerable amount of our time in their company, and so how we relate overall is important to everyone’s well-being.
If we can predict the thoughts, feelings and intentions of our coworkers, whether we are face to face or communicating via video conference, phone or e-mail, then we may be able to better build and stabilize our relationships while increasing the resources we give out and our share of the benefits. Let’s take a look at how we can detect the truth, the lies and the power plays at work and truly win a greater piece of the pie.