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Clayton
“Ya think you got room for anything else in there?” I tease Abigail as she sucks down a batch of fried pickles with a side of fried Oreos. “Any more, and we may have to have Missus Davenport let out your gown.”
“You shut up; she’s growing a person.” Adam laughs, feeding her a bite of his pepperoni pizza. We met up with him and Wayde by the ring toss, and Wayde kicked Vic’s ass. It was hilarious. I think Vic would still be pouting if not for Abigail. She won the game for putting together the carburetor. It took her a whole ten minutes. She had a choice between a gorilla and a flamingo. She went with the gorilla.
“Yeah, shut up, I’m growing a person.” She laughs, which is something she doesn’t do very often anymore.
“Did you guys see the Lego fire walk?” Vic asks excitedly. “Nobody has been able to get past the middle of it. They’re giving fifty bucks to anybody that can do it.”
“You’re nuts.” Adam shakes his head.
“Fifty bucks, you say?” Wayde purses his lips. “I bet I can do that.”
“Side wager?” I offer. May as well make a buck on these two idiots.
“I’m not putting up money,” Vic argues.
“Oh, why not, feet too pretty to actually get you to sac up?” Wayde chuckles.
“How about labor? Or...” Adam gets the most vicious little grin. “Mom and I were going through getting rid of stuff, and I found a bright pink corset. Loser has to wear it and pose for an Instagram pic.”
“I don’t know if that’s worse for them or for us.” Abigail cringes. “Fifty bucks, I get across it quicker than either of you.”
I shake my head. “You guys are so gonna be wearing that corset for the cameras.”
“You’re fucking on.” Vic grabs his balls. “I got steel in here, baby.”
“So are you tellin’ us Abi is giving birth to Ironman?” Adam questions.
“He wishes.” Abigail laughs, taking off her shoes. “I’ll even let you all go first.” She sticks her hand out. “Bet?”
Fist bumps all around, when we get there, I’m handed everyone’s shoes.
“Do I look like a shoe tree?”
“Well, you certainly are the tallest asshole in this bunch.” Wayde winks at me. “Be glad I’m using odor eaters.”
“Oh, brother.” I lament.
They approach the walk. To be honest, it looks deadly. I mean, have you ever stepped on one Lego? Now imagine a twenty-five-foot pathway filled with them. What’s worse is this thing is like a bed, filled several inches deep. You have to step up and down into it.
“You all sure you want to do this?” I ask as Adam takes out his phone.
“I’ll record. You time each of them. If you don’t get across, you forfeit.” He announces.
“Yeah, yeah.” Wayde passes his three tickets to the attendant. “I must be out my damn mind,” He grumbles, stepping up to it.
“Ready?” The attendant asks.
“Yup.”
“Okay, go for it.”
“C’mon Wayde.” Adam hollers.
A trepidatious first step has him hissing. He backs up, getting back on the ledge. “I gotta roll up these pants.” He announces.
“Choke!” Vic yells, while Abigail just waits her turn while working on the last of her cotton candy. Sucking it off her little fingertips.
Wayde gets his pants rolled up and starts to try and run, remember time is money here. He gets to the halfway point, and with tears in his eyes loses his footing. Down he goes! Legos everywhere! He’s screaming like a banshee as he rolls over.
“Get me out! Get me out!” I can’t even imagine how bad that shit has to hurt. Hands, arms, back. He asked for it, though. They get him out, and he just sits on the ground, huffing, and puffing. “That was horrible! You’ll never do it.” He looks at Vic.
“Vic, are you sure?” I ask. “I mean, really, you can just pay Abigail and save us the trouble of pulling you out of there next.”
“I got this. Haven’t you got any faith in my ability to take a little pain?”
“Totally different.” I’m sure my face has just flamed.
Adam looks at me then at Vic and Abigail. “What kind of kinky fuckery do you get up to?”
“Quit lookin’ at me. I’m just carrying the baby. They are the kinky ones.”
“Ah, you love it.” Vic teases as he climbs up to the bed of pain. “Here we go. I can do this.” He huffs and takes his first steps. “Fuck me in the ass with a broom!” He shouts but keeps going. He walks like a cat through a puddle. All pissed off at not being able to avoid it while trying to shake the water off.
“If your feet get any higher up in the air, you’re gonna fly!” I giggle shout. I can’t help myself.
“Shut up, you pussy! I don’t see you trying this shit!”
“Because I’m not an idiot trying to prove that my dick is bigger. I know it is. I’ve seen yours!”
“Yeah, as I’m shoving it in your mouth!” Vic screams as he cries. Hot damn, he made it across. He collapses on the grass. “I need Band-aids! Stat!”
“Oh, you’re not bleeding that bad!” The attendant chuckles. “Is the lady really ready?”
“Oh yeah, because my dick is bigger than all of theirs,” Abigail says, handing over her tickets. She starts singing as soon as she steps on to the Legos. I don’t know what she is singing until she points to Vic and Wayde. The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. Sheesh, she’s just gotta rub it right on in.
“That’s my girl!” I shout. “Come on, Abigail, belt it, Honey!”
She finishes just as she says the last line of the song. Three minutes and thirty seconds, not a tear one, and she just made a hundred and fifty dollars.
“You can pay me at graduation tonight.” She winks at Vic and Wayde.”
“Cash only, no checks or money orders.” I smile, hugging, and kissing her congratulations.
