Cyprus Appreciation

Looking out onto the Mediterranean Sea, near Paphos, Cyprus.

How many times a day do you stop to show appreciation for someone, at work or at home? Small gestures of thanks can brighten people’s day and lift their mood, but too often such sentiments fall by the wayside because we feel too busy to stop and say thank you.

This would never happen in Cyprus, where showing appreciation is a deeply ingrained habit. I first noticed this when taking my car to the gas station. A queue of vehicles was being filled up by the pappou (patriarch). The convoy was proceeding quite slowly because, rather than offering a monetary tip to the pappou, people had stepped out of their car to share a laugh or a chat with him. This was their way of showing appreciation: stopping and taking the time to have a proper conversation. Not just sharing money, but sharing their heart.

It’s the same in Cypriot restaurants, where service isn’t just a matter of bringing food to the table, but proprietors showing appreciation for their customers in a more meaningful way. That’s why, while the younger generation does the heavy lifting, the elders are at the front of the house, touring the tables and having friendly conversations with customers both old and new. Again, appreciation is shown in a very human, personal way: shared rather than transacted. You see the same in how people communicate. When you pick up the phone, rather than saying your own name, you might say “Vincent’s dad speaking” or “Maria’s partner here”: another small way of conveying appreciation for loved ones.

Older people are the cornerstone of Cyprus’s culture of appreciation. Grandparents hold a special place in society, revered for their experience and knowledge. There is no generational divide where older members of the family are distant from the youngest, who are just desperate to go out and do their own thing. There wasn’t one meal with a Cypriot family I attended where grandparents weren’t both present and the center of attention. The older generation are looked after and appreciated for their wisdom. And when you are all out for a meal and it’s 11 p.m. and time to go dancing, then you take them home and make sure they are comfortable before you set off yourself.

The appreciation shown by Cypriots is about not just individuals, but also heritage and identity in a broader sense. When people introduce themselves, they will often tell you more than their name, also mentioning the place they come from and where they live now. There is an appreciation for the importance of roots and identity, and how the places where we grew up and live now shape us as people. The same is reflected in Cypriots’ approach toward national memorials and sites of historical importance. You won’t pass a ruin that isn’t being studied and looked after in some way. The nation’s heritage is maintained and nurtured in a way that shows appreciation for its meaning and significance.

Appreciation is so important because it promotes greater understanding for the needs of other people. I encountered this very vividly, touring around with my newborn, Saiyan. I wandered into the courtyard of what looked like a café and sat down, and when a woman approached me I asked if we could have some milk, ordering as if I had sat down in a restaurant. But even though it looked like one, it wasn’t a café at all, just the garden of this woman’s home. At that point she could have kicked us out, but in fact we were welcomed and looked after. Milk was fetched, and we ended up being given a tour of the garden to collect herbs to use in our evening meal. Only in a society where appreciation for those around you is so entrenched could something like this have occurred.

Cypriots understand that there are many different ways of showing appreciation, and that the greatest failing is not taking the time to do so. Technology can often make life feel rushed and impersonal, and in that context the value of appreciation is becoming ever more important. Time is the most valuable commodity we all have, and also the great equalizer: all the power and riches in the world cannot give you more than twenty-four hours in a day. That means the way we can most appreciate people is to share or give of our precious time. By showing appreciation you make yourself, and the person you are thanking, feel uplifted. It’s a simple social courtesy that is also fundamental to our well-being, and that of society as a whole. Appreciation oils the wheels, it lifts the mood, and it conveys our gratitude to those around us. Showing it is one of the most authentic, and important, things we can ever do.