The woman’s face sent chills through my mind. She cried out in fear. “No! Stop! Please!” She pushed and clawed at me to get away. I looked down at my hands in alarm. I was holding her, pinning her down. I gasped and pulled back, then stood there, stunned, as she scrambled to her feet and ran away.
I was hurting her. Why? Why would I hurt her?
I wanted to help people. I wanted to be a Keeper. That’s why I was doing all this… all the training, all the healing sessions. I wanted to help people, not hurt them. Not let them die.
Another woman appeared, a different woman. She wasn’t scared like the first, just surprised and angry. She didn’t scream or cry. Instead, she fought back. She had training. This woman threw skilled punches my way. I took something from her and she wanted it back. But I wasn’t going to give it to her. I enjoyed the fight. I liked inflicting pain.
I swung with force and sent her to the ground. It was almost too easy.
And I liked it.
Why? Why would I like it? Why would I like hurting anyone at all?
I stumbled back, appalled. What was happening? What was I doing?
I reached into my pocket and pulled out an object. It was a metal bottle, a tiny flask with intricate designs. It was Healing Water; I could tell right away.
I squeezed the bottle in my palm with satisfaction and crept up a rickety flight of stairs, old metal stairs that creaked under my weight. I was going to sell the bottle. It was all part of the deal.
I burst through the door with purpose, without fear.
I was fear. I created fear.
A figure stepped out from the shadows, but it was wrong, not the man from the agreement. Someone here to steal what I had stolen.
I made my move and went for his throat.
Not fast enough.
The blast pierced my ears. My chest clenched in shock.
I stumbled with a groan, grabbed at my heart, as the barrel of his gun stared back at me.
Then, I saw the eyes, black, veiny eyes—Voss’s eyes.
The fear returned.
“No… you’re gone,” I whimpered. “You can’t hurt us anymore.”
Voss tore the Healing Water from my grasp and mocked me with a smile. “Oh, the hurt has just begun.”
“I won’t let you hurt anyone!” I cried. “I won’t let you.”
Voss grabbed my collar and yanked me to his face. “I’d like to see you try,” he said, “if you can find me.” His breath burned like acid on my cheek. “And when you see my son,” he said cruelly, “tell him… I’ll be waiting.”
Then, he disappeared, as he shoved me to the ground to die.
***
My eyes burst open and I gasped for air.
It felt so real. The metal vial in my hand, the pain in my chest… and the eyes. Voss’s eyes.
Agent Kelsey stood from his stool in the corner of the room. It was the same thing he did every day as soon as he saw me wake up.
I barely noticed. All I could think about was Voss.
I thought the nightmares were done with, left in the past when we moved across the border to the city of Banya. The first few weeks were so peaceful. My family was safe. Voss could never hurt us again. But ever since my parents left the city the nightmares returned, getting worse and worse each week. Now they were worse than ever.
But it never happened during the day like this before. Never after passing out from healing someone in a session.
We’re safe now, I told myself for the hundredth time. We’re safe.
The door opened across the room.
Orion’s smile was sympathetic as he entered. “Good, you’re awake,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
I still felt distracted as I replied, “I’m fine.”
Whenever I woke up from a session I was disoriented, today even more. But I wasn’t about to tell him that. I moved to sit up, trying to come back to reality, being careful not to disturb the wires attached to my head, chest, and arms.
Orion stepped forward to the foot of the bed. It was the same bed I always woke up in after a strenuous session, the hospital bed the doctors kept on standby for me in the room next to the testing area. They realized early on in their studies that I almost always passed out after using my abilities, especially when I healed someone from greater distances or whose injuries were more severe. Basically, the more energy I had to exert to heal someone, the harder it was for me to recover.
“Why don’t you stay and rest a minute,” Orion said. “I was hoping we could talk.”
I was more tired than I realized. With a small nod, I collapsed back onto the bed. Orion’s request to talk wasn’t anything new. I was used to answering plenty of questions during and after sessions.
The tone in Orion’s voice seemed off though, making me think there was something more he wanted to say.
Then I started to remember today’s session—the man with the dark, corrupted soul.
“If it’s all right,” Orion said, “I’d like to keep the monitors connected. We want to make sure you’re completely well before you leave.”
When I agreed, Orion pulled a chair to the side of the bed. Agent Kelsey didn’t move. I wondered if he ever even blinked. He just stood there in the corner like he always did, never leaving my side until I was safely back across the border each day.
Orion looked at me thoughtfully. “You know that I’m always here for you if you need to talk to someone, don’t you?” he began.
I watched him carefully as he spoke. Most of the time I did feel like Orion was being sincere, but every once in a while, I felt a sense of something else from him. I still couldn’t figure out what it was. Sometimes it felt like guilt, or worry, or doubt of some kind. Either way, I sensed that he was conflicted inside. Of course, he was a man with many responsibilities and burdens. If I were him, I would be conflicted too.
I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I nodded quietly, waiting for him to continue.
“I know your life has not been easy since you arrived in Banya,” Orion said, “and I want you to understand that, first, the Council is grateful for all you’ve been doing here, and second, that you’re not alone in this. I am here as both your guide and your advocate.”
His words affected me more than I would have thought. It made me realize I did feel somewhat alone since I moved to Banya.
Most of the time I was fine. I had Rayne—the most supportive, caring boyfriend in the world—waiting for me to walk back through the Threshold border every day, the second I was done here. And there was his younger sister, Violette, who was now my roommate and quickly becoming a wonderful friend—and who reminded me way more of Heather than I thought any girl from another planet could, at least in her sassy way of commanding people’s attention without even trying. And there was Jax, too. I never in a million years thought that a guy like him would turn out to be such a loyal friend.
But despite all this love and support around me each day, I still felt all the things that were missing. I missed Heather—a lot—and Newport Beach. Then there was my dad who I barely even started to get to know before he had to leave. And of course there was my mom… I missed her most of all. It was harder than I thought it would be. We weren’t even allowed to talk on the phone.
On top of all this, there was something happening inside me, something changing, something I wasn’t sure anyone could understand. Anyone at all. It really was a lonely feeling, knowing that no one else would ever understand what I was going through.
I had to pause a minute, pushing back my emotions.
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “I appreciate your help.”
“Of course,” Orion replied. “Now, I know I promised you when we sent your parents off to their… new home… that I would do my best to set up a way for you to see them.”
I sat up with anticipation. I wanted to see them so badly.
The time we spent together when we first arrived in Banya was just like I’d always dreamed. My parents and I spent every moment together we could. Rayne was with us most of the time too. It was almost like we were a real family, a normal family. Well, aside from the fact that my dad had to stay in hiding at the Court of Ambassadors since everyone on the planet believed he was in prison.
It was kind of a pain that my mom and I constantly had to choose between going out to explore the city and staying inside to spend time with my dad. But usually we chose to stay with him. Luckily, the Council gave my father access to a rooftop garden that wasn’t open to the public, so we could at least spend time together outside.
I was hoping it would be months before the Council would ship my parents off to the distant location where my father’s new top-secret assignment would be, but of course it didn’t work out that way. The Council didn’t work that way. They had things they wanted us to do, responsibilities and duties to fulfill.
When Orion and Councilman Gibbs had taken my case in front of the Council in those first couple of days, they explained everything they had witnessed me do before we crossed the border—how I had healed myself without the Healing Water and even healed the huge gash on Rayne’s leg from the car explosion.
After they all had gotten over their disbelief that what I could do was even possible, the Council finally agreed to admit me into the Academy, just like I had hoped. But not without a few favors in return.
Of course, all of us were eternally grateful to the Council for even allowing my father to take this assignment in the first place, rather than actually sending him to prison to rot for twenty years like everybody thought he was. And I couldn’t forget how the Council had completely pardoned Rayne after he had broken all of those serious laws. So really, the Council had already helped us a lot in return.
Both my father and I had made promises to them we knew we had to keep, so when they told us it was time for him to go, none of us felt we had the right to argue.
It had only been two and a half weeks, actually. That was it. Two and a half weeks of getting to know my dad and watching him fall in love with my mother all over again, and almost feeling like a real family—if you could even do that while living in hiding at a government facility. And that was it. Two and a half weeks.
Of course they sent my father off with a promise to all of us that Orion would set up a way for us to see each other again soon, but up until now, that was the last I had heard on the subject.
Those couple of weeks with my parents went by so fast it was hard to believe they really happened. Now, as my mind filled with things like testing and training and learning new abilities, the time I spent with my parents was turning into a blur.
As soon as Orion mentioned my parents a huge grin crossed my face.
“I’m happy to say,” Orion went on, “that a location has been designated and is being prepared by a security team as we speak. You should be able to see your parents again very soon, possibly next week.”
“Really?” I said. “Thank you so much. I can’t wait to see them.”
Orion smiled. “You’re very welcome; I’m happy to help.”
I had only a moment to celebrate the news before Orion paused with a sigh and said, “Sadie, I think you know that there’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
I looked at my hands.
Of course I knew. I freaked out at the session today and they all wanted to know why.
A lump formed in my throat. If I had it my way, everyone would forget it ever happened, including me. The last thing I wanted was to bring back those dark feelings the man’s presence had caused.
“Sadie,” he said gently, “the test subject from today’s session didn’t make it.”
My eyes jolted up. “What?”
Orion placed a hand on my wrist. “The man from your session… he… died.”
I shook my head, even though I already knew it was true. I knew I didn’t heal him. I knew I didn’t want to heal him. The man’s darkness took me by surprise, but even if I had been ready for it, would I still have let him die? Remorse immediately took over.
“I’m sorry,” I pushed out. “I don’t know what happened.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Orion said. His brow pinched with concern. “I was in no way implying that it was your fault. I just thought you had a right to know. If anything, we’re surprised this hasn’t happened sooner. Twenty-six successful healings out of twenty-seven is quite remarkable. In fact, just one successful healing would have been remarkable all on its own.”
I had to force a smile. “Thanks,” I said. Then I went back to staring at my lap. All I could think about was how I had let a person die. He was a terrible person, but he was still a person. It wasn’t my right to decide. I didn’t want to be the one to decide.
“I could have tried harder,” I muttered. “I should have tried harder.”
Orion patted my shoulder. “No one expects you to be perfect, Sadie, and neither should you. It’s important for you to realize what a unique gift you have. You shouldn’t be surprised if it takes some time to get used to. And just remember, there’s always tomorrow to try again.”
I gave him a slight nod. I didn’t want to think about it anymore. All I wanted to do was go home and let Rayne’s comforting arms wrap around me.
“Are we done for the day?” I asked.
Orion explained that we just had to make a quick stop at Dr. Griffin’s office—where she would surely take a few more samples of my blood for their scientists to play with—and then finally I could go home.
By the time Agent Kelsey and I reached the private hallway that bypassed border security it was already seven o’clock in the city of Banya, two hours later than usual.
My feet dragged. It had been a long day, and I was tired.
When my parents and I first arrived in Banya I could hardly contain my excitement, with my mom right there by my side experiencing everything for the first time. Now, the excitement of a new world was becoming lost in the constant quest to dig deeper into my own subconscious.
And yet, every evening, I still looked forward to the moment I could step back across the shimmering wall of the Threshold to Ambrosia.
Everyone kept telling me that when I crossed back through each night I should notice a difference in my energy levels, that it always gave them an instant boost of invigoration. And I was pretty sure it did. Well, maybe it did. The truth was, I couldn’t really tell. I never felt any obvious change like the others described.
But, I did feel something when I passed through. I wouldn’t call it a boost of energy though, at least not physical energy. To me, it felt more like… like a piece of me had been missing, and the moment I stepped through the Threshold, that missing piece of me was restored back into place. It was like… Ambrosia was a part of me.
Things didn’t exactly start out the way I had anticipated when I first came to the world of Ambrosia, but there was no doubt in my mind that I was where I needed to be.
Knowing that we were arriving more than two hours late, a part of me actually hoped Rayne wouldn’t be waiting for me on the other side. I wanted to see him more than anything, but I hated thinking of him sitting around bored at the Hall of Clocks for hours on end.
Agent Chapman, the border guard who was always stationed at the security bypass door, wished me a good night as he opened the door for me and Agent Kelsey to pass through. As soon as we saw the glowing, cave-like chamber of the Threshold I could already sense Rayne’s presence. He was there, waiting for me on the other side.
Logically, I knew from past experience that he probably would be, but in this case I didn’t need logic. I knew Rayne so well that I could actually sense his presence before I even passed through the Threshold wall. This ability was something very new to me, being able to see deeper into a person’s soul, and it was still difficult to figure out with almost everyone—but not with Rayne.
Rayne’s essence was something special, something created through virtue and light. Feeling him near me was always like going home.
I felt the comforting blanket of warmth that radiated through Rayne’s being from across the threshold, and for the first time in hours, a true smile sprang up on my face.
As soon as I passed through the wall of light to the other side and was past the security guards inside the Hall of Clocks, Agent Kelsey gave me a nod, signaling his departure.
My eyes surveyed the great, ominous room, passing the other five Thresholds as quickly as my legs would move. Quite often, I would take a moment to admire the majestic dome clock overhead that sent a prism of iridescent colors down from the ceiling, and the rippling blue glow that waved through the room from the Thresholds, making everything feel as if it were floating around under water. But not today. Today I moved quickly. All I cared about was finding Rayne and going home.
When I spotted Rayne across the way my feet stopped with a sudden wave of sympathy. He sat on a bench at the far corner of the room, his shoulders hunched, staring aimlessly at the floor. It was obvious he had been waiting there a very long time.
He hardly noticed when I stepped up beside him.
“Hey, you,” I said, feeling a hint of guilt and concern.
Rayne sprang to his feet, taken by surprise. “Hey... you’re finally done.”
“Finally,” I said with a groan.
Rayne reached out his hand. “Long day?”
I sighed and let him pull me into his chest. “You could say that.” Without pulling away, I leaned back to look at him. “You know,” I began, “I could just as easily take the shuttle back to the dorm after my sessions. You do realize it’s only a ten minute drive across campus, right?”
His brow lifted flirtatiously. “Yes… but then you wouldn’t get to see this gorgeous, green-eyed face the second you were done. Or at least, this semi-passing-for-attractive face that wants nothing more than to adore you twenty-four hours a day.”
I laughed and pulled closer. “Nice try, but we all know your face is gorgeous. And don’t think for one second you can convince me otherwise.”
Rayne leaned into me with a devious grin and whispered, “Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it.” And then his lips pressed against mine.
His kiss was gentle, lasting only a moment, yet erasing my mind of every thought and worry in a single touch.
It felt so good and right to be together. Over the past several weeks, we finally had the chance to actually see what it was like to be a semi-normal couple. Even with my strict schedule set in place by Orion to train in the mornings with Jax and to go to the testing center right after, Rayne and I were together every moment possible.
I loved the way Rayne didn’t care about the people passing by around us as he held me, many of which had a tendency to stare, even when we weren’t kissing—due to the fact that Rayne was basically a celebrity in this city.
I couldn’t count the number of gossip columns out there all speculating on who this mystery-girl was that Banya’s beloved agent was currently dating. Luckily, the media hounds weren’t even allowed on Academy grounds without permission from the Council, so we spent a lot of time on campus, especially when we wanted to be alone. But whenever we ventured off-site together, despite how skilled Rayne was at hiding in plain sight, there was always the risk of being flagged down for photos and questioning.
Rayne took my hand again. “Ready to go home?”
“Definitely,” I said with a sigh. “I was ready two hours ago.”
Without asking, I knew he meant my apartment when Rayne referred to going home. I had been to his place downtown a couple of times, but we spent most of our evenings in my apartment-style dorm located in the section of campus typically reserved for upperclassmen. Instead of putting me in one of the tiny freshman dorms like a normal first-year, the Council had decided I should stay somewhere a little more spacious and comfortable. Apparently, the Council was extremely concerned with keeping me as happy as possible while they used me as their lab monkey.
My roommate Violette certainly had no complaints when I told her she was being upgraded right along with me. Of course, it wasn’t that hard to convince the Council to let her come when she was the sister of Rayne Stevens, the Water Keeper who had somehow won the hearts of practically every person in Banya—especially the ladies. To me it seemed like such a strange concept. A secret agent, trained to be a spy on another planet, was being fawned over by the public like a pop star.
As we walked out to the parking lot, I noticed Rayne was suddenly giving a lot more attention to his phone than he was to me.
“Who was that?” I asked. “Who are you texting?”
Rayne shoved the phone in his pocket. “Just my brother Lark. He wants to know if we’re planning on coming out to the orchard again this weekend.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling hesitant. “What did you tell him?”
We reached Rayne’s truck and he opened my door. “Um, I just said I would have to talk to you first.”
I pulled myself up into the seat. I loved Lizzy Grove, and Rayne’s family, but I wasn’t sure I was in the mood to travel out there this week. “Ask me again tomorrow,” I said. “Right now, all I want to think about is sleep.”
Rayne kissed me on the forehead. “Deal. I’m sure Lark can wait.”
Ten minutes later we were still only halfway across campus. Rayne was going slower than I had ever seen anyone drive in my life.
“Are you okay?” I asked. “You’re kind of starting to worry me.”
He glanced back at me as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “Sure. I’m fine.”
When we hit a red light Rayne pulled out his phone again, holding it discreetly by his side to read the screen, careful not to let me see it.
I gave him a funny look. “You’re sure everything’s okay?”
He barely glanced up, too distracted by whatever was on his phone to answer.
“Rayne,” I said, trying to get his attention. “Hello…”
Rayne shook his head, finally regaining focus, trying to pretend he heard every word that came out of my mouth. His phone was now safely back in his pocket.
“Yeah, no worries,” he said. “Everything’s fine.”
I studied his face, still trying to figure out why he was acting so weird.
We finally made it to my apartment, taking twice as long to arrive than usual. I stepped into the front room after unlocking the door, but when I reached for the light switch Rayne grabbed my hand to stop me.
“Wait, don’t,” he warned.
I stared back at him with concern. “What’s wrong?”
Rayne lifted one finger to his lips, urging me to stay quiet. My muscles tensed. Rayne pulled me forward in the dark, closing the door silently behind him.
“Over here,” he said in a hushed tone.
I nodded and followed him carefully across the living room. A loud noise banged from one of the bedrooms, causing me to jump. I gripped Rayne’s hand even tighter.
I didn’t understand what was happening. Did somebody break into our apartment?
Rayne led me around the corner to the dining area, took one step inside the room, and stopped abruptly. His arm moved around my back to pull me beside him. I couldn’t help but gasp as we entered the dim room. At first I was confused by the sight, but suddenly, everything became clear.