Chapter Twenty-four

Alex and Rachel tiptoed through the hallway from the back door. The voices got louder as they got closer to the kitchen.

“Colleen, I can’t figure out what you want!”

“What I want?”

Alex was peering around the doorframe with Rachel pressed against her back. Aunt Sophie was nowhere to be seen. Her dad was sitting at the kitchen table and her mom was leaning against the counter

“You wanted me out…so I left. You can’t seem to stand the sight of me, and now you think I’m seeing someone else?” Her dad pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

“Where were you last night?”

“We’ve been through this already. I thought I’d missed the last ferry.”

“So you said.”

“Enough of this, Colleen! No more games.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s be honest and get to what this is really about.” Her dad stood up and paced back and forth. “I miss him too.”

“This is not about Adam!”

“Of course it is!” Her dad stopped in front of her mom. “You just won’t admit it. How are we going to get past this if we never talk about it?”

“Douglas—”

“I see it in your eyes every time you look at me,” he declared. “You blame me.”

“That’s not true.”

“You didn’t want him to have that skateboard. But he wanted it so badly I bought it anyway. He’d been asking for one for years. I remember, at his birthday party, you said he was too reckless and almost refused to let him keep it.”

“He thought he was invincible.” Her mom’s voice was shaking.

“You see, I knew it!” he said.

“You wouldn’t listen to me…” she trailed off, staring out the window. “He was so fearless. My little daredevil—I shouldn’t have let him have it.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it? It’s too late.” Her dad took his keys out of his pocket. “Look, I rented a place in the city. I’ll get the rest of my stuff out when I get back.”

“You’re moving out?” Alex raced into the room and grabbed her dad’s sleeve.

“Alex, where did you come from?” her mom gasped.

“I’m so sorry, Munch.” Her dad gripped her shoulders and stared intently into her eyes. “We didn’t want you to find out this way.”

Alex pressed her face into his shirt. “You’re leaving ’cause of me, aren’t you?” she mumbled.

“Of course not,” he said, stroking her hair. “We love you very much.”

“Is it because Mom isn’t nice to you anymore?” Alex cried. “Say you’re sorry, Mom.”

“Munch…” her dad sighed.

Alex stared up at him with teary eyes. “Don’t leave. If you love me, you won’t leave.”

“It’s not that simple,” her mom whispered.

“Yes it is!”

“Your dad and I just can’t be together right now. We’re arguing all the time. That’s not a good environment for you or for us.”

“Are you getting a divorce?” Alex hiccuped.

Her parents looked at each other. Neither one said anything.

“We’re broken, but we’re still a family. If you leave, we won’t even be a broken one.”

“I’ll still see you all the time,” her dad said.

“I heard you talking about Adam,” Alex said to her mom. “It wasn’t Dad’s fault. He wasn’t even there. It was me. I did it. And now you’re getting divorced because of it.” Tears streamed down her face. “So this is my fault too.”

“No, sweetheart, that’s not true.” Her mom tried to hug her. “None of this is your fault.”

Alex pulled away. “It is. You know it is!” she cried. She turned and ran from the kitchen.

“Alex, wait…” her mom called.

“Let her go, she’s upset.”

Her parents’ words followed her as the screen door slammed behind her. Alex raced blindly up the hill. She had to get away. She wasn’t even paying attention to where she was going.

“Alex, wait up!” Rachel cried.

She ran and ran. Then the lighthouse was looming in front of her. Alex ran towards the cliff, not watching where she was going. She veered off the path. Thick bundles of purple thistle scratched her arms and legs.

Alex struggled through the brush, focused on her goal. She rushed up to the inukshuk she had created just a short while ago. Rage and frustration surged up within her as she stared at it. It wasn’t a symbol of her family, it wasn’t anything at all.

With a loud cry, she kicked it. The inukshuk collapsed, the rocks scattering wide. Grabbing them one by one, Alex heaved them over the cliff and into the sea. “Why did you have to die?” she screamed. Sobbing, she fell to her knees.

Arms wrapped around her. “Everything’s going to be okay,” Rachel murmured.

“It’s not fair,” Alex moaned.

“No, it’s not.”

“I miss him so much.”

Alex cried into Rachel’s shoulder. Rachel stayed by her side until Alex’s tears finally stopped. She must have really run out of them this time. They sat quietly afterward and watched the waves.

“I don’t want to go back yet,” Alex said.

“We don’t have to. We can go for a walk the opposite way, if you want. Look, there’s a path over there.”

“All right.” She was so glad not to be alone right then.

Alex slowly got to her feet. She realized she still had her pack over her shoulder. Switching it to the other side, she followed Rachel along a beaten-down path through the tall grass. The narrow trail hugged the shoreline.

They walked farther and farther away from the lighthouse, winding inland for a bit before curving back out along the cliffs.

Alex gazed out over the ocean and was surprised to see the horizon had vanished.

The fog had returned.