Alex sat with the bomb, in the hissing heat of the boiler room. He let his hands wrap around it, gathering his courage. The Game had whispered to him all night, as it had for the past several nights, introducing him to new intelligences who could fill in gaps in his understanding.
Christ sat to his left, whispering in his ear. The alchemist Hermes Trismegistus sat to Alex’s right, explaining how his actions might seem cruel to some, but they would be understood eventually. All great plans were initially misunderstood, until the hidden meanings became clear with time. The alchemist transformed into his black-eyed alter ego, Thoth, who, carrying a lantern, would guide Alex’s soul to the afterlife.
Freud was there, explaining that the most natural thing in the world was for a son to kill his father. That was the origin of religion, after all, in aboriginal cultures. Kill the father and replace him with a totem to worship. It both solves the problem and eases the guilt.
Alex closed his eyes and whispered to himself:
“For I have come to turn a man against his father.
“For I have come to turn a man against his father.
“For I have come to turn a man against his father.”
“That’s right,” the Game said to him, stroking his hair, “that’s exactly right.”
“We’ll ignite at a special moment,” Christ said. Thoth drew it on the boiler with his finger, where the bloody pentagram once was, now a faint and distant memory.
Φ
“What does it mean?” Alex asked.
“It’s a symbol I used, once,” Freud said. “For something called the Project. How the brain makes consciousness.”
“No,” Jesus said, “it’s the number of divine creation. The golden ratio.”
“One point six one eight zero…,” Freud said. “Two oh two P.M.”
“Just before school lets out,” Christ said.
“And the building is full.”
Thoth tapped the boiler.
“We’ll fill the school with gas,” Christ said.
“The explosion will be magnificent,” Freud added. “A ball of fire.”
“What about the good people in the school?” Alex asked.
“Did my Father worry about that with the Flood?”
“Are there any good people, really?” Freud put a hand on Alex’s. “When the video spread, how many people stood up and said, ‘Stop this. It’s unacceptable’?”
Alex couldn’t bear to answer.
“No, they all laughed. Man is not a gentle creature. He desires to humiliate his neighbor, to seize his possessions, to torture and kill him. Homo homini lupus! ‘Man is a wolf to man.’”
“You are not the Lamb,” Christ reminded Alex.
“Rest,” Freud said, “lie back and listen. There is so much left to know.”