DAY 2
Overeating Versus Community

Perhaps you’ve never thought about it, but overeating and weight problems can disconnect us from one another. In this lesson we want to explore how unhealthy eating habits often contribute to dysfunctional relationships, and, on the other hand, how healthy eating habits can be encouraged by functional relationships/community.

LOOKING AT YOUR LIFE

When we are obsessed with food and weight, we often hide or pull back from active involvement with others.

How do you feel when overweight people are made fun of on television programs or by comedians?

If you have ever been made to feel like a social outcast because of your weight, what happened in your heart? How did the experience alter the way you related to people?

If you have ever been bullied or verbally abused because of your weight, write some candid memories of those experiences.

What people have accepted you with no strings attached—fully and completely, despite your weight or appearance?

What can you do to express your appreciation to those folks?

LEARNING A NEW WAY OF LIFE

Take a few minutes to read through the entire prayer that Jesus prayed in John 17. Then focus on this excerpt:

My prayer is not for [the twelve apostles] alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message [Christians down through the centuries—including us!], that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. (John 17:20–23)

How would you summarize the main point of Jesus’ prayer? What is it that He wants for the world? For His followers?

How do you think our enemy, the devil, might view Christian unity and healthy community?

When we pull back from others and remain isolated and alone because of our weight (or for any other reason), how do you think God feels about it?

Consider these situations and offer your assessment, based on what you just studied.

Situation . . .	What God might think/feel	How Satan probably reacts
You resist an invitation to a ski party at the lake because of your weight.
You take lunch early and eat by yourself in your car rather than with colleagues.
You tell yourself you'll become more socialble when you drop about fifty pounds.
You drop out of a small group because someone told a “fat” joke.
You come late to social events and leave early if food is involved.

Look again at Romans 15:7. This verse stresses the importance of accepting others. What other important fact does it reveal about Christ? How does that truth help us build a healthier self-image?

Regardless of what you weigh, it’s up to you to push yourself out there in the unpredictable world of relationships.

The authors point out that when someone loses a large amount of weight, one of the common expectations is that life will be dramatically better. The reasoning goes like this: When I lose weight, I’ ll get lots of invitations and everything will be different. Socially, I’ ll become outgoing and active.

But then, they point out, the weight comes off and reality hits. Where are all those new party invitations? Why don’t people see the new me and invite me out?

This happens because an overweight person learns to feel uneasy in social situations. He or she develops deeply ingrained habits of hiding, avoiding, and withdrawing. Just because a person’s body is getting thinner doesn’t mean that his or her heart is now oozing with courage and confidence. Losing weight does not automatically result in losing fears of rejection. We still have to take social and relational risks.

React to this statement: “A person can still struggle with major insecurities even when his or her body looks healthier.”

LOSING IT FOR LIFE

How can and should you respond to people who are not positive and affirming?

How does knowing—deep in your soul—that Christ accepts and loves you unconditionally make a difference in your effort to become healthier physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually?

On whom can you count for faithful support and encouragement?

The authors observe, “When you are the consummate giver and never expect to receive in a relationship, you tend to attract needy people who can suck you dry. And then, guess what? You feel empty and use food to fill that void again.” Have you experienced this in your life? Explain.

Do you feel comfortable “needing” others? Are you more at ease giving or taking?

Community is so important. When you feel strong, you encourage others. When you are down, others support you. This reciprocal give-and-take is part of healthy relationships.

In Day 1 you read through several New Testament “one another” commands (guidelines for healthy community). Here are a few more to ponder and put into practice:

[Speak] to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. (Ephesians 5:19)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5)

How can living out these commands and associating with others who hold these values make a difference in losing it for life?