We started rehearsing the next day. Actually, other kids started rehearsing. I wasn’t in many scenes. Grouchy Dwarf had only a few lines.

I frowned and crossed my arms while Grace the Evil Queen talked to Hector the Magic Mirror. Grace said evilly, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the most gorgeous of them all?”

Mr. McNutty said, “That’s not in the script. The line is, ‘Who’s the fairest of them all?’”

“Evil people don’t care about being fair. In fact, evil people want to be unfair. Trust me on this. Evil people would much rather be gorgeous than fair.” Grace flicked her head back and smiled, like gorgeous models did on shampoo commercials. But she didn’t look gorgeous. She looked like she had a neck problem. And she had a brown thing on her tooth. It was either a poppy seed or a bacon bit.

“The word ‘fair’ has two meanings. It can mean honest or pretty. When the Evil Queen asks the Magic Mirror who’s the fairest one of all, she wants to know who’s the prettiest,” Mr. McNutty said.

Victoria Crow raised her hand. “The word ‘fair’ has three meanings. It can also mean pale.”

“Good point,” Mr. McNutty said.

Victoria nodded. “I know. I always make good points. I’m the smartest kid in third grade.”

“And I am the most gorgeous,” Grace said.

“Yeah. Grace is the most gorgeous,” Emma G. said.

“Yeah. Grace is the most gorgeous,” Emma J. said.

I didn’t think so. I kept frowning and crossing my arms.

Grace told Mr. McNutty, “‘Gorgeous’ has only one meaning, and I am very gorgeous. That is why I should ask the Magic Mirror, ‘Who’s the most gorgeous one of all?’”

Mr. McNutty sighed. “Fine.”

Grace the Evil Queen said, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most gorgeous one of all?”

“Wait a minute,” Owen said. “The prince is the most gorgeous one of all. I play the prince, and no one is more gorgeous than me.”

I didn’t agree. I frowned even harder and crossed my arms even tighter. My mouth and arms began to hurt.

Mr. McNutty sighed again. “All right. Change the line to ‘Who’s the most gorgeous girl of all?’”

“Grace is playing the Evil Queen. A queen is a woman, not a girl,” Charlie said.

Mr. McNutty sighed again. “All right. Ask who’s the most gorgeous female of all.”

“Who’s the most gorgeous female of all?” Grace asked.

Hector the Magic Mirror replied, “Snow White is the most gorgeous female of all.”

Grace waved her long, sharp, evil fingernails at Hector. “How dare you insult me, Mirror! I will rip your face off.”

“That’s not in the script,” Hector said.

“It should be,” Grace said.

“Yeah. It should be,” Emma G. said.

“Yeah. It should be,” Emma J. said.

Mr. McNutty sighed again. “Let’s try a different scene. We’ll rehearse the part in which Snow White thanks the dwarfs.”

I had only one little line in that scene. I kept frowning and crossing my arms.

Charlie read from the script: “Thank you, dwarfs, for taking care of me and giving me a new dress.”

Smiley Dwarf smiled.

Zany Dwarf crossed her eyes and wiggled her nose.

Itchy Dwarf scratched his butt.

Barfy Dwarf pretended to barf.

I kept crossing my arms and frowning.

Mr. McNutty said, “Good job, everyone. Zeke, you look really grouchy.”

It was so unfair that I had to play Grouchy Dwarf instead of the prince. Thinking about that made me groan.

“Good idea to add a groan,” Mr. McNutty said.

Charlie read her next line. “You dwarfs gave me a place to stay. You work hard chopping and hauling wood all day. In exchange, I will clean and cook for you.”

Then Charlie shook her head and said, “Snow White is stronger than most of the dwarfs. She should chop and haul the wood. The smallest dwarfs should cook and clean.”

Mr. McNutty sighed again.

“Also, if Snow White is doing chores all day, she should wear jeans and a T-shirt instead of a dress. The T-shirt could say ‘Fairest One of All’ on it,” Charlie said.

“You mean ‘Most Gorgeous One of All,’” Grace said.

“You mean ‘Most Gorgeous Female of All,’” Owen said.

Mr. McNutty sighed again. He said, “I’ll never do another class play.”

I wished we didn’t have to do this class play.

“For homework today, take your scripts home, read them, and start learning your lines,” Mr. McNutty said.

I refused to take my script home. It was bad enough having it at school all day. I didn’t want it in my house too. I had more important things to do than learn my lines. The most important thing I had to do was be upset about my small part in the play.