Four

Conversation woke Kaylie. She checked her phone. It was the middle of the night. The male and female voices continued. Maybe Mom and Dad were arguing again.

She sat up. Mom? No, it couldn’t be. She’d been carried away in a bag.

Tears filled her eyes as she listened. It wasn’t her mom or her dad. No, it was Laura from next door. Who was the guy?

Kaylie wiped her tears and recognized the voice. It was Mom’s brother. Rusty. 

It was so weird that he showed up now. Never when Mom had been alive. At least he could cook. She was still full from all the food he’d made them. 

She lay back down and closed her eyes. It still didn’t seem real that her mom was gone. They’d been talking about getting mani-pedis. Both of them had been looking forward to some girl time. 

Her mom hadn’t killed herself. Kaylie didn’t care what anyone said. Maybe it had been food poisoning or something. Or some weird disease nobody had ever heard of before. Something that there was no test for. 

Or maybe her heart had just stopped working. Her health teacher had talked about the long-term damage drugs did to the body. Maybe a batch of something Mom took years earlier had finally caught up with her. It could have been anything. Just not suicide.

Kaylie had already been picked for one of the leading roles in the school play in the fall. Tryouts had been at the end of the year. With the eighth graders moving up to high school, Kaylie finally had a chance—and she’d actually gotten it. Her mom had been thrilled. She’d even bought a new phone so she could get better pictures.

Why would she do all that if she was just going to kill herself? She wouldn’t. There was no way. Plus, she’d told both Kaylie and Brady plenty of times that she would never do anything to hurt them—and suicide would have been the worst kind of hurt. No. Not her mom. Plus, lately, she’d said it even more than usual. Probably three times the week before she’d died.

She wouldn’t have said it that much if she hadn’t meant it.

A lump formed in Kaylie’s throat. Her lips shook and then a fresh, new wave of tears came, spilling on her face. She turned over and sobbed into her pillow.

Kaylie cried until no more tears would come. She sat up and tried to catch her breath. Would it always hurt this bad? Or could it get better? There was no way she could get through school feeling like this. Hopefully in a couple months, she would be functional.

She reached for her box of tissues. Empty. Again. She needed to grab a few boxes from the closet instead of just one.

After opening her door, she froze. The memory of her dad pacing the hall the night before Kaylie found out about her mom was so real, it was as though she was reliving it. She’d gotten up because she had forgotten her earbuds on the couch and wanted to watch videos on her phone. 

But she couldn’t even go into the hall because Dad had been pacing the length of it. She’d watched him for a few minutes, hoping he’d stop. But he hadn’t. He kept muttering to himself. At first, Kaylie had thought he was on the phone, but he’d only been talking to himself.

She’d never seen him so upset. Well, not until the next morning.

Voices, heavy footsteps, and the hissing of dispatch radios had woken her. When she’d looked out of her room, she saw the gurney with the black bag strapped on heading toward their stairs.

Her dad stared at her, his hair sticking out in a hundred different directions and ordered her back into her room. She’d refused, coming out into the hall. “What’s going on?”

“I said stay in your room.”

“Where’s Mom?”

“I told you—”

Brady’s door opened and he came out. “What’s going on?”

“Both of you! In your rooms—now!”

Brady ran back into his, slamming the door shut. Dad glared at Kaylie, his nostrils flaring until she went back into her room, too. She got on the floor and listened through the crack under the door. It was something she’d always done when her parents fought, but somehow this had felt worse.

The footsteps and conversation sounded down the stairs. Once she was sure no one was in the hall, Kaylie went out. She went into her brother’s room. He was curled up in a ball on his bed, his face streaked with tears.

“Wh-what’s going on?” he asked.

She sat down next to him and rubbed his back. “I don’t know.” She didn’t dare talk about the bag. She’d seen enough TV to know what that meant, and she didn’t want to scare him. Or was it that she didn’t want to admit what she feared?

Brady leaned up against her, and she wrapped her arm around him.

“It’s bad, isn’t it?”

“I think so.”

“Where’s Mom?”

Kaylie’s stomach twisted in knots. She opened her mouth to speak, but her stomach lurched. 

“Where is she?”

Kaylie jumped up and ran to the bathroom just in time to yak. Her mom had been in that body bag. That was the only thing that made sense.

She threw up once more and then brushed her teeth before checking on Brady again.

“What’s going on?”

“We better let Dad tell us. Come on.”

His eyes widened. “I’m not going out there. Not when he’s yelling at us.”

Kaylie sighed. “Would you rather stay in here by yourself?”

“Yeah.” He climbed under his covers. He could be such a baby sometimes. 

“I don’t want to go out there by myself. You know how he gets.”

Brady’s eyes shone with tears. “That’s why I’m staying here.”

“Fine.” Kaylie spun around and went into the hall.

A clatter in the kitchen brought Kaylie back to the present. If Laura was there with Rusty, that meant her dad was still out. Still at the police station? He’d been there so much. She and Brady had stayed with some neighbors a couple times. At least with Rusty there, they could stay home. And eat more than dry cereal and crackers since the neighbors had quit bringing food.

Kaylie went out into the kitchen. Laura glanced up from a coffee mug, her eyes wide with surprise. Then she frowned—a look of pity Kaylie was already sick of seeing from everyone who talked to her and Brady.

“Are you okay, honey?” Laura came over and wrapped Kaylie in a hug.

What kind of a question was that? She’d probably never be okay again. Kaylie shrugged.

Laura stepped back, keeping her hands on Kaylie’s arms. “If you or Brady ever need anything, just come and get me, okay? I’ll do anything—day or night.”

“Thanks.” It was so awkward with people suddenly showing so much care and concern for their family. 

“You should get some sleep, kiddo,” Laura said.

“Okay.”

Laura turned to Rusty. “If you need anything, let me know. I work from home as an independent consultant. I don’t mind being disturbed.”

“I’ll be in touch about what we were talking about,” he said.

If Kaylie wasn’t so exhausted, both physically and emotionally, she’d have been curious. She went to the fridge and pulled the new OJ. Rusty had gotten her favorite kind—the one Dad always said was sickeningly sweet. She poured herself a glass while Rusty walked Laura to the door.

Kaylie actually liked her. Laura had always been really nice to her and Brady, but people had been coming and going ever since… the event. She liked that term. It was better than saying the death or the suicide or whatever. The event.

Rusty came back upstairs. “You okay?”

She finished off the glass and nodded. “Just thirsty, I guess.”

“Did we wake you?”

Kaylie shrugged. She glanced around the messy kitchen. “Want some help?”

“Nah. I got it. You up for a midnight snack?”

“Like what?” She arched a brow. 

“Don’t look so scared,” he teased her. “I bought everything needed for s’mores. I can whip some up in the oven real quick.”

“Seriously?” Her mouth watered. She hadn’t had those in years, and never from an oven. “That sounds really good.”

“Of course. Grab the crackers from the cabinet.” He turned the oven on. “So, what did you think I was going to suggest?”

Kaylie shrugged. “Dad would’ve said broccoli.”

“With melted cheese, at least?”

“Nope. Just steamed.” She pulled out the box of graham crackers.

“That would be the healthy choice, but we need comfort food.”

Kaylie smiled and helped him make the s’mores. While they were cooking, Brady came out, looking disoriented. 

“Do I smell chocolate?”

“S’mores,” Kaylie said. “Uncle Rusty’s idea.”

Rusty startled, then smiled. She gave him a little nod. He was definitely cool enough to earn the title to his name.

“Nice.” Brady sat next to her and rubbed his eyes. “Don’t mind waking up to that.”

The timer dinged. The chocolate sizzled just a bit as Rusty set them on the counter. “Who wants pop to go with that?”

Brady’s eyes widened and he exchanged an approving glance with Kaylie. “Me.”

“Thanks, Uncle Rusty.” Kaylie got up and grabbed a liter of Mountain Dew.

“I was thinking something that isn’t one hundred percent caffeine.” Uncle Rusty smiled. “Since we’re all going to bed after this. Maybe root beer?”

“Can’t blame a girl for trying.” Kaylie grabbed the bottle of root beer and got out their biggest glasses. With Uncle Rusty’s back turned, she put vanilla ice cream in each glass before adding the soda. 

“This is turning into quite the midnight snack.” Uncle Rusty put a spoon in each glass, obviously approving Kaylie’s idea.

They managed to have a fun time eating the sweets. 

“What do you guys like to do for fun?” Uncle Rusty asked.

Brady had a mouthful of s’mores. He pointed to Kaylie.

She set her snack down and thought about it. Since Mom had died, fun hadn’t been on her mind. “I really like to act.”

“You’ve got the dramatic flair for it!” Brady laughed.

Kaylie rolled her eyes. “It’s fun. I actually got a leading role in the school play.”

“Good for you. I bet you’ll do great. What about you?” Uncle Rusty turned to Brady.

He shrugged. “I like all kinds of stuff. Football, baseball, wrestling. It’s hard to pick just one, you know?”

“I can understand that. May as well have fun and enjoy being a kid.”

Kaylie smiled. It was actually nice to spend time with Uncle Rusty just talking about normal things. Kaylie was sure her mom would have been happy.

After the snacks were all gone, they continued talking for a little while. Then Brady announced he was too tired to stay up any longer. 

“Brush your teeth again,” Uncle Rusty said.

“Yeah, yeah.”

He turned to Kaylie. “You should probably get back to sleep, too. It’s almost one.”

“I’m good.” She helped him clean everything up and then they headed down the hall toward the bedrooms. 

“How are you doing, really?” he asked.

“It sucks, but I’m glad you’re here.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “I wish I’d come for a visit a long time ago.”

Kaylie sighed. “Me, too. You should bring your kids next time. I can tell you’re a good dad.”

His expression clouded over. “We’ll talk about them later. You should get some sleep.”

She nodded and then stared at her parents’ room. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back in there again.”

Uncle Rusty frowned. “Is that where…?”

“Dad found her? Yep.” A lump formed in her throat again. She cleared it. “It sucks.”

“I know.” He looked thoughtful and sad. “I definitely know.”

She knew that look. “Did you lose your kids?” 

He looked at her, his eyes wide. “You’re very intuitive, aren’t you?”

Kaylie shrugged. “What happened to them?”

“Car accident. Drunk driver.”

“Oh, sh—crap. That does suck. Why do so many bad things happen in this family?”

“I wish I knew, but we gotta stick together. Right?”

“Yeah.” Kaylie paused. “What were they like?”

He rubbed the top of her head. “I’ll tell you what. We’ll get some sleep and share stories later. I want to hear more about your mom because it’s been so long since I saw her. You want to hear about your cousins. Sound good?”

Kaylie yawned. “Perfect.”