Chapter Four

Nathaniel allowed the sound of the waves crashing into the rocky shoreline to lull him into a blissful stupor, assisted in part by the alcohol. He planned to spend every evening precisely in this spot, with the cool sea breeze blowing, a local brew in his hand, and his phone’s power turned off.

“Mr. Cavanaugh?”

He opened his eyes, remembering that Val still sat next to him. The setting sun put golden highlights in her hair and sparkles in her eyes. He thought maybe he should re-think his evening beverage consumption if his nanny made his heartbeat speed up.

Val picked at her nail polish. “I hope I didn’t overstep my bounds, but Ruby talked to me a bit about her momma. I told her I’d help her make a scrap book to record some of her memories.” Her gaze moved to his. “I hoped that would be all right with you.”

Nathaniel didn’t answer. The truth was, he’d overheard the entire conversation between Ruby and Val, and that was part of the reason he was on his fourth beer. Val had made him sound like a hero, or a tortured widower, when the truth was, Nathaniel was neither. The familiar ache of guilt wrenched his stomach, and he took a deep drink in hopes of dulling it.

I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to make you…I’m sorry.” Val reached toward him but drew back her hand. She stood, wincing when she shifted her weight.

Still, he said nothing. What was there to say? Would he spill his deepest secrets to this person he’d met yesterday? Tell her the truth about his marriage? Tell her she had no reason to worry about his feelings because he wasn’t a devastated husband?

Val shifted from foot to foot and scratched her arm. A few awkward moments later, she spoke. “I’m truly sorry. I…Good night, Mr. Cavanaugh.” She turned and hurried into the house.

Nathaniel continued to stew over the thoughts he’d mulled over for months. What if he had brought home the divorce papers a day earlier? Or later? Would everything be different? Would Clara still be alive? As it turned out, he’d ended up with the pity of everyone he met, looking like a poor, heartbroken man when he was actually the reason his wife was dead.

He took his guilt out on those around him, pulling away from family and friends, and now he’d offended this woman whose only crime was helping his daughter. Even though she was gone, Clara still managed to make him feel like nothing he did was ever good enough.

When he met Seth for their run the next morning, he was still dwelling on the way he’d acted toward Val. If he hadn’t known his friend would be waiting where the road branched, Nathaniel would have slept in and nursed his headache.

“Morning, Daisy.” Nathaniel scratched Seth’s golden retriever behind her ears.

“Late night?” Seth asked as they set a pace through the forest.

Daisy bounded along next to them.

“Do I look it?”

“Red eyes, pale…I’d guess you either had a few too many, or your new nanny has already brought you to tears.

“The former. And I might have brought her to tears.”

“Val?” Seth whipped around his head. “What happened?”

Nathaniel didn’t sense any disapproval in Seth’s tone, but knowing his friend, that didn’t necessarily mean he felt as casual as he sounded. Seth was likely one of the least judgmental people he knew, which was one reason Nathaniel found confiding in him to be so easy. But based on his reaction, Seth also had a soft spot for Val. “She asked me if it would be all right to help Ruby with a scrapbook of memories about her mother.”

“And…” Seth prompted, raising his hand.

Nathaniel shrugged. He lifted the hem of his T-shirt to wipe sweat from his forehead.

“You didn’t know how to handle it and so, you…”

“Didn’t.”

Seth skirted around a dip in the road and rejoined him. “And Val thought you were hurt, or angry with her action.”

“Val’s managed to connect with my daughter in two days better than I have in six years. I should be down on my knees thanking her for getting Ruby to open up about her feelings. Instead, I…”

They ran several yards in silence before Seth spoke.

“Val’s a big girl. From what you’ve told me, she’s known loss herself. She doesn’t seem like the type to hold a grudge.”

“So, you don’t think I need to…”

Seth nodded once. “You definitely need to.”

They turned onto the main road, running along the tops of the sea cliffs until they reached a path that led down to a long, flat stretch of beach.

Nathaniel knew Seth was right. He owed Val an apology. The entire conversation was making him uncomfortable, and he redirected it back on his friend. “You seem to understand her pretty well. Are you going to start dating my nanny?” He tried to keep his voice light, but he definitely didn’t like the idea. His friend having a relationship with his employee was unprofessional, and he…he just didn’t like it.

“Nope. Val’s not my type.” Seth picked up a branch and threw it down the beach. He increased his pace as he ran over the rocky shore.

Daisy ran through the surf to retrieve it.

Nathaniel felt a confusing mix of relief and disbelief. He nearly stumbled over a piece of driftwood. “What do you mean she’s not your type?” He matched his pace to Seth’s. Was she too friendly? Too beautiful? Too happy? Too easy to talk with? What was wrong with Seth, and why was Nathaniel suddenly so defensive?

“I’m a caretaker. Val won’t let anyone baby her. She’s too independent for me.”

Nathaniel was surprised by his friend’s honesty. Since the men had reconnected, Seth listened to him spill his guts about everything about his wife’s death, his feelings of inadequacy when it came to rearing his children, and stress about the direction his career was taking him. The morning runs became more of a therapy session for Nathaniel, and this was the first time Seth spoke about himself so personally.

They reached the end of the flat beach and took another trail.

“So, what do you have to say for your Red Sox after last night’s game?” Seth glanced back to make sure the dog followed, and the men switched into an easy dialog on neutral topics as they re-entered the shade of the forest and ran back up the gravel road.

When they reached the turnoff to Seth’s house, they used the rails of an old fence to lean against as they stretched out.

“I may have to go back to Boston for a few days next week.” Nathaniel pulled his arm across his chest. “Mind checking in on Val and the kids?”

“Sure.” Seth held on to a rail and reached back to grab his ankle as he stretched his quad. “And you’re going to…”

“I’ll talk to her today.”

****

When Nathaniel returned to the house, he found Val and the children in the kitchen. Ruby and Finn worked in their notebooks at the table while Val wiped down the counter.

When he saw his father, Finn jumped up and ran to him.

Ruby waved her fingers in front of her nose at Nathaniel’s sweaty smell.

Val glanced up when he entered and turned to rinse her cloth under the tap.

Nathaniel complimented Ruby on the words she was writing, told Finn to keep up the good work on coloring shapes, and walked to the sink.

“Mornin’ Mr. Cavanaugh. Me and the kids had yogurt and toast for breakfast. Can I get you—”

“Val, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Her gaze darted to his, and she blinked quickly. She dried off her hands on a dishtowel, glanced once at the children who were bent over their books, and then followed him out to the porch.

Nathaniel hadn’t realized he’d upset her so badly the night before until he saw the worry in her expression. He closed the door behind her and turned to where she stood, her arms folded as she chewed on her thumbnail. “I need to apologize for the way I behaved last night.”

Val’s breath hitched.

“A memory book sounds like the perfect way for Ruby to heal. Thank you for thinking of it, and offering to help her.”

“I thought you were fixin’ to fire me.” Val’s eyes were wet, and she spoke in a soft voice. “I was worried all night.”

Nathaniel wanted to kick himself for what he’d put her through. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. On the subject of emotions, I…have a difficult time, and then on top of it, I had a little alcohol in me. I should not have treated you that way.”

She uncrossed her arms and started picking at her nail polish. “I know what it’s like to lose someone. We all handle it differently.”

“Some of us don’t handle it at all.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. Val’s gaze met his straight-on, and a sense of relief washed over him. The idea of her being upset because of him had bothered him more than he’d realized. He held out his hand. “Still friends?”

Val took his hand and shook. “Course. Now, get yourself showered, and I’ll fry up some eggs for y’all before the kids and I head into town for story time at the Shuckers Booktique.”

He held open the screen door and when she passed and thanked him, he saw the dimpled smile he’d hoped for.

****

Saturday came quicker than Val would have believed possible. Being a nanny for the Cavanaugh family was a dream job. Every day she looked forward to spending time with the kids and seeing Nathaniel on the porch in the evenings. She loved the routine they’d fallen into, and with some reluctance, she put on her swimsuit under her clothes, took a towel and a book, and headed out past the Sea Crest Inn to spend her day off lying out on the only sandy beach in town.

Spreading her towel, she thought of how Ruby and Finn would love to play in the fine sand. She’d have to bring them next week. One of the shops in town sold buckets and sand shovels, and Val thought maybe she would pick up a couple on her way home. She watched the boats in the harbor for a while, then lay back to read, but she was lulled to sleep by the call of seagulls, the shouts of watermen, the clang of bells, and beneath it all, the ever- present swishing of waves as they ebbed and flowed from the shore.

A voice startled her, and she blinked herself awake, shading her face with her hand as she sat up.

The man that had spoken shifted to the side to block the sun. “Sorry to wake yah. I asked if this spot is taken.” He waved his hand toward the sand next to her towel.

She felt uncomfortably vulnerable with a strange man standing over her, but his face seemed friendly. “No. It’s all yours.”

He smiled, dropped a grocery bag on the sand, and spread out a towel. He took off his T-shirt, flopping down on his stomach next to her. “I’m Brandt.” He fished around in the bag. “Chips?”

“Thanks.” She took a handful of potato chips from his offered bag. “Val.”

“You look like yah been chewed up and spit out, Val.” He lifted his chin to indicate her injuries. “How’d a pretty gahl get such bad scrapes? And your bruise…” He made a tsking sound as he shook his head. “Pity.”

Brandt’s hair was the color of caramel, and his skin deeply tanned. When he shifted position, the muscles on his arms bulged. “Trolley accident,” Val said. She’d never heard an accent quite like Brandt’s, and wanted to hear him speak again. When he said her name, he pronounced it Vahl.

He lifted his brows and nodded his head, “Heard about that. Saved a kid, didn’t yah?”

Val shrugged, eating another chip. She didn’t want to talk about the accident or the Cavanaughs with this stranger. She shifted onto her stomach, leaning forward on her elbows and turned her face toward him. “Where are you from? I’ve never heard anyone talk like you.”

Brandt laughed. “Then you haven’t been in Maine long. I’m a local boy. And as far as accents go, yours is the cutest I’ve ever heard. You a southern gahl?”

“I’m from West Virginia.”

“I could listen to you talk all day, Val.” He lifted his gaze to look past her and waved.

Val turned her head and saw a group approaching with towels and coolers. They all appeared to be roughly the same age as she and Brandt.

“Yah mind if some of my friends join us?”

“Course not.”

Brandt introduced Val as the “gahl who got hit by the trolley.” His friends immediately welcomed her into their group. They unloaded drinks and snacks. A few of them threw a football, and Val found herself chatting with some of the other women.

“What do you do here in Lobster Cove?” A woman named Alice handed her a bag of licorice.

“I’m working as a nanny for Mr. Cavanaugh. He’s staying with his kids at a vacation cottage outside of town.”

“Not bad.” Alice turned down the corners of her mouth and raised her brows as she nodded.

Val listened to the local gossip, chatted about movies, and told a bit about her home town. She found that some of the group was working in Lobster Cove for the summer and others were locals like Brandt. They were accepting and friendly, and the day flew by.

Before she knew it, Val’s skin was starting to feel burned. She pulled her phone out of her bag and saw the hour was already late afternoon. She stood and pulled her T-shirt back on. “I had a great day with y’all, but I should be getting back.”

Brandt picked up her towel and shook off the sand then handed it to her. “Some of the guys are having a clambake tonight down on Craigwood Beach. You wanna be my date?”

Val thought about Ruby and Finn…and Nathaniel. Would they be missing her? Did Finn get a good nap today? Did Ruby get a chance to work on her memory book? She wanted to be home with the kids and put them to bed, and then visit with Nathaniel on the porch as the sun set. She’d almost made up her mind to say no to Brandt, until something in the back of her mind stopped her. She was acting as if the Cavanaughs were her family, but in truth, they were the family, and she was an outsider who would leave in a few months and never see them again. The more she allowed herself to get swallowed up in the fairy tale of belonging in the Couthy Cottage, of being part of their family, the harder leaving them in August would be.

She looked around at her new friends. She liked the idea of having a group to hang out with on her day off, and for her own sake, she needed to have a bit of distance. A relationship with people other than the Cavanaughs would lessen the sting of saying goodbye. “I’ll check and let ya know in an hour. Would that work?” she asked Brandt. Her day off probably extended into the evening, but the details hadn’t ever been discussed.

“Sure.” He typed his number into her phone and handed it back. “I hope you can make it.”

Val said her good-byes and slipped on her flip flops. She walked across the sand, up the patio steps, and out to the parking lot where she’d left the car she was using for the summer. She drove through the town and up the cliff road, wishing the drive didn’t feel like she was going…home.

****

Brandt had wanted to pick her up at eight, but Val asked if they could push it back in order to give her time to tuck in the kids. She’d barely finished putting a sleeping spell on Ruby when she heard an engine outside. After ducking into her room, she grabbed her jacket and hurried down the stairs.

Nathaniel was walking through the entryway toward his office.

“Mr. Cavanaugh.” Val called out; although after she did, she wondered what had made her catch his attention. The hour would be late when she returned, and she had become accustomed to Nathaniel being the last person she spoke to before she went to sleep.

He turned and his gaze traveled quickly over her sundress and then rested on her face. “Yes?”

For the most fleeting second, she wondered whether he thought she looked cute in the dress. She loved the look of the spaghetti straps and sweetheart neckline. “I just…Good night.”

“Wear your jacket.” He motioned toward the hoodie she’d slung over her arm. “The beach gets cool at night.” He walked to his office.

“Thanks.” The fleeting image of Nathaniel sitting on the porch alone while the sun set floated through her mind. She opened the door, chiding herself. He’s probably delighted at the chance to have an evening to himself.

Brandt waved as she approached his motorcycle. He handed her a helmet which would only make her messy bun that much messier. She zipped up her jacket, crammed the helmet on her head, and climbed on behind him, wishing she’d worn something else. The sundress looked cute, the fabric didn’t irritate her scraped leg, but a motorcycle ride in a short skirt…she hoped Craigwood Beach wasn’t too far.

After about fifteen minutes of bumpy road and cold wind, Brandt pulled off the main road and parked next to a group of cars. They made their way down the gravel path through the trees to the beach. Brandt put his arm around her, his fingers playing over the skin on her shoulder.

She wasn’t completely comfortable with his familiarity, but so far, his intentions seemed friendly enough. Val decided if he got much more handsy, she’d put him in his place.

The beach wasn’t sandy like the one by the Sea Crest Inn. Between the pine trees, rocks and crushed shells covered the ground topped with bits of driftwood.

They found their group sitting on logs around a campfire with plates of food and open coolers.

Val greeted her new friends.

“Yah ever been to a clambake before?” Brandt handed her a plate.

She shook her head. “I’ve never even tasted a clam.”

“Well, Miss McKinley, yer in for a treat.” He led her away from the fire and showed her the pit dug into the sand where wet seaweed had steamed the clams, lobster, and other shellfish. They each filled a plate with potatoes, carrots, corn on the cob, and seafood and then returned to the campfire to join the others.

Val spread her jacket over the log to protect her legs when she sat. The beach seemed even darker because of the firelight, the trees rustled in the wind and the waves flowed, but she couldn’t see the water.

“Now some are squeamish about seafood they have to crack out of their shells, but the fresher the better. There’s nothing to worry about.” Brandt used a plastic fork to open a clam and dig out the soft meat.

Val didn’t think she had ever turned down food in her life. She figured those who had didn’t know what being hungry felt like. “It smells delicious.” Val followed Brandt’s lead and pried open a clam, popping the warm chewy meat into her mouth. The bite turned out to be better than she would have guessed, but the warm, juicy lobster tasted like heaven.

“I had no idea seafood could taste so good.” She worked another chunk of lobster meat out of the shell. “I admit, my experience is with canned salmon and whatever my brothers caught in the stream by my house.”

Brandt laughed and pulled a beer out of the cooler. He offered one to Val, but she declined.

Val listened to the conversation around the fire, joining in occasionally. The food was delicious, and she enjoyed the company, but her mind traveled back to the cottage more often than she would have liked. Was Nathaniel sitting on the porch alone this evening?

A younger woman with a dark ponytail joined their group, sitting on the log next to Val. She introduced herself as Candice, and she and Val exchanged pleasantries while Brandt passed around more bottles of beer. From her giggles, Candice had apparently already had a few.

Val passed again on the alcohol. The last thing she wanted to do was return to the cottage tipsy and smelling like booze. Not that she thought Nathaniel would mind. He wasn’t her dad, after all, but she didn’t want to give him any reason to question her competence about caring for his children. Candice was local, too, and Val thought the Maine accent sounded different on a woman. Harsher.

“Vahl, where are ya stayin in town?” Candice took a deep swig of Lighthouse Lager.

“I’m working as a nanny up at Couthy Cottage. Do y’all know where that is?”

Candice dropped her mouth. “You’re living with the handsome Boston lawyer in the vacation cottage by Dr. Goodwyn? How’d you swing that?” Her gaze dropped to the neckline of Val’s low-cut dress. “Oh.” She tipped her head and raised a brow. “I guess even rich guys like their women a little trashy.”

“Like I said, I’m his nanny.” Val tried to keep the anger and offense out of her voice.

“Ya.” Candice winked theatrically. “His nanny.”

Val was stunned. She kept her smile pleasant as she excused herself to get a drink of water. She slipped her arms into her jacket sleeves and zipped it up as she walked toward the ice bucket. Candice was obviously inebriated and catty, and Val couldn’t care less what the woman thought of her. But the idea Nathaniel might think of her as trashy felt like a rock in her stomach. She did care what he thought of her. She’d rarely known anyone who had treated her so well. Especially one who led a life so much more affluent than hers.

A memory flooded her mind, despite her best efforts to quell it. She was sixteen and dating the captain of the basketball team, Bo Callaway. They attended the same high school, but Bo lived in the nearby town of Anabelle, in the wealthiest neighborhood in the county. His father owned the mine that employed Val’s daddy. Bo talked to her on the phone every night, held her hands in the halls, and kissed her under the bleachers. He’d even had flowers delivered to the drugstore where she worked. Val was head over heels in love, and she was certain he felt the same.

After the biggest basketball game of the year against their rival team, the Wolverines, Val waited in the hallway outside the locker room to surprise Bo. She’d gotten the night off work and attended the game. He would undoubtedly be thrilled to see her.

The locker room door opened. The sound of high school basketball players, fresh off a victory, blasted like a wave into the darkened hall.

Val’s breath caught as she heard Bo teasing with the guys on the team.

“I hope all y’all are planning to come out to my daddy’s party at the country club.” His voice carried over the laughter and excited sounds of the other players.

The boys cheered and the mood of excitement was joined by a sense of anticipation.

“You better believe I am.”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

“And you bringing Val?”

Her heart raced, and she stepped back into a doorway in the shadows of the hall, feeling shy and at the same time excited about the idea of hearing Bo talk about her. She strained her ears as her smile grew and her heart beat faster.

“Nah. Val’s fun. But she’s not the kind of girl you take home to momma. And ain’t no way I’m breaking up with her until after high school. She’s too hot.” Bo’s voice hung in Val’s ears even after the team moved past the darkened doorway and headed to the parking lot.

Val’s stomach was so heavy that she didn’t think her legs would hold her. She slid down, leaning her back against the doorway. She could imagine the guys piling into their nice cars and trucks and meeting their girlfriends at the country club. Those girls—the ones who dressed in cute new clothes, lived in a house in the suburbs, and had their hair and nails done at a real beauty parlor—they were the kind Bo wouldn’t be ashamed to take home to his momma. The weight in Val’s stomach turned to shame, and her face burned. Why had she thought Bo considered her as any kind of an equal? She lived in a trailer in the holler, wore secondhand clothes, and worked two jobs.

Her embarrassment grew until she felt physically ill. Had these same people who pretended to be her friends at school been making fun of her all along? Val had realized she was in a different socio-economic class than many of her classmates, but this was the first time the division had been made so blatantly clear. Bo and the rich kids in the county lived in a world in which she didn’t belong.

The sound of laughter on the beach brought her back to the present. Nearly ten years had passed, and the hurt of that day still stung. She figured that incident was the reason she’d worked so hard to go to school, so she could get out of Millford Creek and prove to everyone she was more than just fun. She didn’t want to be someone a man was ashamed to bring home to meet his family.

But the shame that had burned her cheeks all those years ago returned when she heard Candice’s words. She was from a different world than Nathaniel, and she hated the feeling her clothing and lack of sophistication would make her an embarrassment.

She pulled a bottle of water out of the ice and twisted off the lid, her gaze traveling over the group. Over the years, she had spent so much time wishing she could get out of her house and be an independent woman, meeting friends for parties, dating cute guys. She’d dreamt of leaving home, having her own place and not worrying about hurrying back at night to take care of her brothers and sisters. Now that she was here, she realized this wasn’t what she wanted at all. The people were friendly…well, most of them. She’d laughed, enjoyed good food, but all she could think about was what she was missing. She should be on the back porch of Couthy Cottage, talking with Nathaniel, or just sitting and not talking at all.

But even that was an illusion. Nathaniel didn’t need her company. She would do well to remember she was his temporary employee and not his friend. She walked back through the darkness to the campfire, discovering Brandt and Candice engaged in a rather sloppy make-out session.

When Brandt noticed Val, he stood, swaying. “I missed yah, Val. Where’d yah go?” His voice was loud and his words slurred.

He didn’t even have the decency to look embarrassed. “I need to leave, Brandt.”

“Already? Gimme a sec to—”

Nothing on heaven or earth would induce Val onto the back of Brandt’s motorcycle to drive up a cliffside road. “I’ll find a ride. See ya later.”

“I’ll call yah.”

Candice pulled Brandt back down and wrapped her arms around him.

Val left them to their clumsy kissing. She pulled out her phone, wondering if she dared text Nathaniel this late. He would have to wake the kids to come and get her, but the cottage was too far to walk. What other choice did she have? Seth? She dialed Seth’s number as she walked to the parking lot, but he didn’t answer. Val sighed as she scrolled down to Nathaniel’s number and pressed Send.

He answered on the second ring. “Val?”

“Mr. Cavanaugh, I’m so sorry to wake you. I—”

“Val, are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

The concern in his voice brought tightness to her throat. “No, I’m not hurt. But, I need a ride. I’m in the parking lot at Craigwood Beach.”

“I’ll be right there.”

The call disconnected and Val sat on a large rock to wait. She hadn’t taken any pain medication for a few hours and the ache of her injuries had returned. She replayed the phone conversation in her mind and her heart did a slow roll as she thought of Nathaniel’s words, his voice, how quickly he had pledged to come to her rescue. Why in the world am I so breathless? She examined her feelings and stopped quickly, afraid of what she would find, and afraid of the heartbreak the discovery would cause.